Chapter 7
JONAH
Ellie seems completely out of it as I lead her back to the park in town and the truck I left in the lot there.
Her face is a frozen, expressionless mask, her eyes trained on the sidewalk, entire body rigid with tension.
When we get to my truck, I basically have to lift her into the seat when she stares blankly at the open passenger door. I’m pretty sure she’s in shock.
I don’t press her to talk. I just get her into the truck, even fastening her seat belt, before walking around to my side.
I have a million questions for her. Namely, where the fuck does this ex live and how long will it take me to get there to kick his ass?
I also need to know exactly what kind of bastard we’re talking about here.
Sending a bloody representation of a beloved pet speaks of a level of cruelty that has ice running in my veins.
What would a guy like that do to her in person?
But Ellie closes her eyes, tilting her head back on the headrest, so I bite my tongue. They’ll be time for all my questions once I have her safely at my house—possibly with a good measure of whiskey in her belly for courage.
Before I put the truck in drive, I send off a few quick texts, making sure my boys are taking care of the things that need doing so I can concentrate on the woman sitting next to me.
She doesn’t speak the entire way to my house, but that doesn’t mean she doesn’t tell me anything.
I’m completely aware of every nuance of her body language, her breathing.
She seems to relax by degrees, her shoulders lowering, hands falling out of their tight fists.
There’s something soothing about the feel of the engine rumbling under us, the scent of her surrounding me in the closed-in space of the truck’s cab.
That scent shouldn’t seem so familiar to me already, but the mixture of clean soap and lemon is both comforting and alluring.
I feel a mixture of relief and disappointment when I pull up in front of the house I share with my brothers. Part of me wants to keep driving, to let her relax and rest as long as possible. But another part of me desperately needs her to start talking—now.
So I climb out of my truck and go around to her side to help her from her seat.
She blinks up at the two-story house and I wonder what she’s thinking.
The place doesn’t exactly scream bachelor pad—the lawn is neat, the shutters freshly painted.
There’s even a small patch of flowers under the front window, a remnant of when Jules used to live here.
Lawson keeps taking care of them. He says he does it for Jules, not wanting our sister’s efforts to go to waste, but I get the feeling the dude just likes gardening and is too embarrassed to admit it.
Because I’m thinking about my brother’s uncharacteristic green thumb, I don’t notice the cardboard box on the porch until after Ellie goes still next to me, her body immediately locking down into rigidness once again.
“Hey.” I take her hand. “It’s just an delivery. Look, you can see the logo. No big deal.”
But she’s started to shake now, her entire body trembling, breath coming in short, fast pants.
“Ellie.”
She doesn’t seem to hear me, just keeps staring at that box. It’s her expression, though, that really kills me. She looks absolutely shattered. Terrified.
In that moment, I feel like I would do just about anything to take the fear out of her eyes.
So I pick her up, holding her front against mine.
She’s not a tiny woman—she’s on the tall side, with the long, willowy lines of a dancer—and our legs tangle a little as I stride to the house.
I don’t put her down though. She’s shaking in my arms and the only thing I give a shit about is making it better.
I want to make everything better for her.
I bring her to the couch, pulling her onto my lap and wrapping my arms around her. She seems so fragile tucked against me and the idea of someone hurting her has my heart thundering.
“I’m sorry,” she gasps, and I realize her teeth are chattering. “I don’t know why I’m acting like this.”
I pull a throw blanket around her. “Shh,” I soothe, rubbing my hands up and down over her back. “The shock is hitting you.”
I startle when her next words escape in a loud, strangled cry. “I’m so tired of this! I am so fucking tired of feeling like this.”
“You’re safe, sweetheart.”
She lets out a bitter laugh. “Am I?”
“Yes.” I squeeze her tighter, probably too tight, but I hate the desperate sound in her voice. “I won’t let anything happen to you.”
“You barely even know me.”
I run my hand over the top of her head, down through her silky soft hair. “That’s technically true. But it doesn’t feel like I barely know you.” I swallow, the truth of the words hitting me hard. “You mean something to me.”
She’s quiet for a long moment. “Why?”
I shrug, not really understanding it myself. “The second you walked into my bar, I was aware of you. It felt like a magnet, this pull drawing me to you.” I chuckle softly. “You were so fucking beautiful, the most gorgeous thing I’d ever seen. I couldn’t keep my eyes off you.”
She makes a soft sound, of surprise or maybe pleasure. I keep going. “And then when I got you alone…I don’t know, Ellie. It all felt so easy. Like I was exactly where I was supposed to be. You know?”
She nods against my chest. “I felt that way, too. It didn’t make any sense, because I most definitely shouldn’t have been hooking up with a stranger in a bar bathroom when my kid was at home.” I feel the shaky sigh leave her body. “But it still felt right.”
The urge to kiss her is so strong I have close my eyes and grit my teeth.
She’s been through a big scare, something that obviously brought up a lot of her past trauma.
She needs me to be strong for her, to help her through this.
What she doesn’t need is for me to stick my tongue down her throat, however much I might want to.
But then she shocks the hell out of me by pulling back and looking into my face. I take in the paler than normal complexion, the way her eyes are red around the edges. But she holds my gaze, her expression sure and determined.
“I want to feel like that again, Jonah.”
Just like that the air between us goes electric, tension crackling like a live wire. My eyes drop to her lips, so close to mine. “What are you saying, Ellie?”
She doesn’t hesitate at all. “I want you to make me feel like that again.”
“I don’t think this is the time—”
“I think it’s exactly the time,” she says fiercely. “I spent six years with that man dictating every single thing about my life. What I wore. Where I went. What I ate. I never want to feel that way again.”
“You won’t.” It’s more of a demand that a promise. Like I think if I can just be firm enough, the universe will have to listen to me and allow this gorgeous woman the life she deserves.
“I get to make the decisions now,” she says, and God, she’s so fucking gorgeous like this, all fierce and determined. If the universe won’t listen to me, I can’t imagine how it could possibly resist the strength in her voice.
“And the decision I’m making is that I want to feel good.” She cups the side of my face and I nearly groan at the feel of her soft, small palm against my skin. “I spent too long being afraid of life, Jonah. I don’t want to feel afraid. I just want to feel.”
Maybe I should tell her no. Maybe I should insist we talk first. But Ellie is looking at me like I’m the only person who can make the fear and the pain go away, and I’ll be damned if I let her down. She wants to feel something? I can fucking do that for her.
“Wrap your legs around me,” I tell her as I stand, holding her to my chest. She complies eagerly and I grab her ass as her thighs bracket my hips.
“Where are we going?” she asks, sounding breathless.
“To my room.” No way in hell are we doing this where my brothers might walk in.
The idea of anyone else seeing Ellie naked makes a caveman’s roar rise up within me.
This woman is mine, even if she doesn’t know it yet.
“I want you laid out on my bed, darlin’, right where I’ve been imagining you all this time. ”
“God, I’ve been imagining you, too.” My cock goes from halfway hard to solid steel at those words, my mind throbbing with an image of her lying in bed at night, touching herself while she imagines me.
“You’ve been thinking about me?” I ask as I stride to my room. I toss her down on the bed, enjoying her little squeal as she bounces on the mattress. Then I’m kneeling over her, hovering so my face is close to hers. “I want you to show me what you do.”
She blinks up at me. “What do you mean?”
“I want you to show me what you do while you think of me.”
Her pupils dilate. “Jonah—”
I press a kiss to her lips, silencing her argument. “Come on, darlin’. Show me what I want.”
Her eyelids flutter, pink blossoming all over her cheeks. She looks so pretty like this, all shy and turned on. “I don’t know what it is about you,” she murmurs, gaze darting across my face. “Why do you make me want to obey you?”
It’s my turn to close my eyes against an onslaught of desire. Obey. Fuck, I like the sound of that. A lot.
“Is that what you want?” I rasp out, bringing my lips to the hollow of her throat. “You want me to be in control?”
She lets out a shaky breath. “Yes. I don’t want to think.”
I can’t help but nip at her bottom lip, just hard enough for her to feel the sting. Her eyes get that hooded, overwhelmed look again, and God, I can’t wait to see if she looks like that when I bite her nipples.
“I don’t want you to be gentle,” she whispers. “I don’t want you to treat me like I’m fragile. I want you exactly the way you were at the bar that night. I don’t want to have to think about what I want or what I should do. I just want you to take me.”