Chapter 8 #2
I shake my head, tears filling my eyes as guilt floods my belly. “I should have known he would escalate. That he would eventually hurt Lucas, too. God, I was so stupid. I thought if I could just keep his outbursts focused on me—”
“And that would have been better?” Jonah nearly shouts, making me jump. “For him to just keep beating up on you?”
“Better than him touching Lucas,” I snap back.
He closes his eyes, taking a deep breath like it’s a struggle to keep control. “You left after that?”
My fingers go to a tiny hole in the hem of Jonah’s t-shirt, worrying over the frayed fabric at my thigh.
“A social worker separated the three of us to ask questions. That’s the typical procedure.
” I could still see the warning look in Kevin’s eyes while I walked away.
But he hadn’t really looked worried. It was like he couldn’t conceive that either I or Lucas might be brave enough to go against him.
“I told the truth. I told them everything. It might not have mattered, but there was a new police chief, the first female chief our town had ever had. She wasn’t as interested in covering up for guys like Kevin and his brother.
He was arrested and the social worker helped me get a restraining order and a lawyer.
I sued for divorce before his bail hearing. ”
“And then you came here.”
“Trisha got me a job with her at the medical billing place in town. I can do some of my hours from home, so it’s good for Lucas. Her mom helps out when we’re both at work.”
I clench my fists, thinking of all the ways my cousin and my aunt have been there for us.
“Trisha always told me I had a place with her. She knew things were bad but…” I had never confessed to my cousin just how bad they were.
I was so ashamed. I’m still ashamed. I was just like most women, assuming I would never be in a relationship like that.
I was strong and independent—why would I put up with someone treating me badly?
I had no idea how strong the fear could get, how paralyzing it was.
How easy it would be for him to gaslight me.
There were times he had me convinced that whatever abusive thing he’d done had been my fault.
I provoked him. I wouldn’t listen. I didn’t support his career.
I didn’t take care of the house correctly.
I couldn’t keep Lucas quiet. I never wanted sex. I was a bad wife. A bad mom.
Those lies, said by the person who’s supposed to love you most in the world, are insidious. They have a way of worming themselves into your psyche until it almost seems easier to accept them.
Besides, where was I supposed to go? Kevin had all the money, all the power. Even now, even with a protective order and two hundred miles between us, he can still get to me. Can still scare the ever-loving hell out of me.
“Is he out on bail now?” Jonah asks in that same quiet, careful voice.
I nod, my stomach clenching.
“And he obviously knows where you live.”
“He knew I would go to Trisha. She only moved here from Mount Casper a few months ago—that’s where she grew up with her mom. I thought maybe her new address would be enough to keep him from finding us…” I trail off, feeling na?ve. Of course he’d be able to find Trisha in the next town over.
I straighten my shoulders, wanting to ease my own fears as much as the worry clearly etched on his face. “His bail requires zero contact. And he can’t leave the state. Plus there’s the protective order.”
Jonah just looks at me and I know he’s thinking the same thing I am—none of that stopped him from getting to me today.
“We need to file a police report,” he says, and I feel sweat pooling on my lower back. I don’t have the best associations with police stations. In my experience, there are far too many corrupt cops in those places, more eager to cover for each other than actually help people.
As if reading my discomfort, Jonah takes one of my hands. “They already know. You’re just going to have to give a statement.”
“How do they know?” I ask.
“Mac is friends with someone on the local PD. He asked him to meet him at the house when he went over there to take care of it.”
I gape at him, completely overwhelmed. He not only sent his sister’s boyfriend to keep an eye on things, he also had his brother take care of the mess and make sure the cops saw it first.
Who is this guy?
“So we’ll swing by the station and give your statement on our way to get your things. You’ll need to contact your lawyer, too, then—”
I hold up a hand. “Wait. What do you mean on the way to get my things?”
“Your things and Lucas’s,” he says, like that should be obvious.
“Why do I need our things, Jonah?”
He gestures around the living room. “Not sure if you noticed, but we’re not exactly crawling with kids’ toys, you know? Or girl shit, for that matter. There might be a box of tampons left over from Jules in the bathroom but—”
“Jonah!” I yelp, grabbing his arm. “Why in the hell are you talking about tampons and kids toys?”
He speaks slowly, enunciating each word, like I’m the one being obtuse here. “Because you’ll need that kind of thing while you’re staying here.”
I rear back. “I’m not staying here.”
“Yes,” he says simply. “You are.”
“Jonah! I’m not moving in with you. Are you insane?”
Something seems to snap in him, that control I’d watched him cling to while I told my story breaking. He leans in close to me, his eyes flashing. “You’re the one who’s crazy if you think I’m letting you go back to that house, unprotected, with this fucking asshole out of jail.”
“But I—”
“This isn’t an argument, Ellie. You’re staying here until I know you’re safe.”
I don’t know whether to laugh or start screaming. “That’s not up to you.”
“Like hell it isn’t,” he snaps. “Your safety is very much my responsibility.”
“In what universe?”
“In the one where you’re my girl, sweetheart.”
I sputter incoherently, unable to even come up with a response. It doesn’t help that my belly is doing very funny things at his declaration that I’m his girl.
“Your ex knows where your cousin lives,” he presses. “He knows you’re staying there. You would be safer here. Not to mention the fact that you’d have three big ass men here to keep an eye on things.”
“Three big ass men that I don’t even know!”
He shrugs. “Then we’ll all have dinner tonight. I’ll get Jules and Nick to come along, too. You can get to know them.” He chuckles. “Lucas will freaking love it. Five more people to talk to? He’ll be in heaven.”
“Jonah—”
“The kid could use a few men in his life, anyhow. We can take him fishing, show him how to ride an ATV—”
“Jonah!” I explode. “We’re not living here!”
He takes a deep breath, clearly trying to contain himself. There’s a flash in his eyes that makes me think he might be considering tying me to his bed.
The thought is oddly exciting.
I push it away, needing to concentrate on the insanity he still seems dead set on getting me to agree to.
“You can’t tell me that it wouldn’t be safer here,” he says. “You and Trisha both work, right? And your aunt watches Lucas while you’re out?” He narrows his eyes. “How old is Trisha’s mom? Late fifties?”
Aunt Leigh is sixty, but I keep my mouth shut tightly.
“If you’re here,” he continues, “there’s pretty much always someone around. Between me, Sawyer, and Lawson, this house is rarely empty. Mac lives over the bar, but he’s here a couple times a week. Jules and Nick drop by all the time, too.”
The idea of being surrounded by all those people does sound comforting, even if I don’t know any of them. I think about how I’ll feel falling asleep tonight with just me, Trisha, and Lucas in the house and shudder.
“We have a security system here, too,” he continues. “We just had it updated after a break in at the bar. Everything is top of the line.”
“I don’t understand why you would want to do this,” I blurt out.
“You’re a young, single guy, Jonah.” Probably a popular guy, I think, sour jealousy spiking in my gut.
I’m sure the girls at the Low Bar just line up for the chance to spend time with one of the Barlowe boys.
“Why on earth would you want a woman you barely know and a five-year-old cramping your style?”
He gazes at me. “You really don’t get it, do you?”
“Get what?”
“That feeling I told you about, Ellie?” His voice is calm, steady.
“The one I had back at the bar? When I knew I was exactly where I was supposed to be?” He brushes a strand of hair out of my face, the movement so tender and loving it makes my chest ache.
“That feeling was just a warm-up. A warning. Because now? Now that I’ve been inside you, now that I know what you look like when I’m making you feel so good?
Now that I’ve soaked up some of that sweetness of yours?
” He leans in to brush a kiss against my lips.
“I don’t want to let you go, Ellie. I don’t think I can. ”
“But—”
“I mean it. I’ve never had a feeling like this before, a certainty so deep down in my bones that I know it’s never leaving me. I’m supposed to take care of you. I know I am.”
This is nuts. I should be arguing with him. Hell, I should maybe even be afraid of him. I just spent the last six years of my life with a man who felt like he had a claim to me. A man who was possessive and jealous and controlling.
But Kevin never once looked at me the way Jonah is looking at me now. He never once went out of his way to give me what I needed. And here’s this guy I barely know, offering to take not only me but my five-year-old kid into his home. Offering to protect us.
And hasn’t he already been doing that? Within minutes of finding that box he had someone watching the house and someone there to take care of the mess and deal with the police.
And he’d gotten me out of there, despite my protests, knowing that I needed a place in private to break down so I didn’t have to try to pretend for Lucas.
I want to do it, I realize. I actually want to take him up on this insane offer.
I force myself to not give in, not yet, at least.
“I’ll decide after we talk to the police,” I say. “I want to hear what they have to say about how dangerous they think this situation is.”
He grins. “You want to ask them about us, too. Run a few background checks?”
“I’d be stupid not to,” I point out.
He nods, looking more serious. “You’re right. Your safety is the most important thing.” Then the grin comes back. “I’m pretty sure the fine folks at the Solitude PD will give it to you straight. They’re not the hugest fans of the Barlowe boys, but they know we don’t get into any real shit.”
“Then why aren’t they your biggest fans?”
He chuckles. “We may have been considered trouble makers in our youth.”
I let out a laugh, thinking of the mischievous grins I saw on the faces in those pictures in the hallway. “I think I can imagine that.”
He watches my face carefully. “So we’re on the same page? You’re staying?”
“I will consider it,” I hedge, even though I already know I’m going to agree. My gut is telling me that this is right. It’s like Jonah said earlier—that feeling of knowing you’re exactly where you’re supposed to be is hard to argue with. I’ve never felt it more strongly than I do with this man.
“After I talk to the police. And ask around a little.”
“Fair enough. Solitude is a small town. Everyone knows everyone. You can ask around all you want. You’re safe with us, and no one is going to tell you any different.”
I stare into his warm brown eyes, already so familiar, and I can’t help trusting him.