Chapter 10
ELLIE
Ilie in bed for a long time that night, staring up at the ceiling.
This used to be Jules’s room, back before she moved in with her fiancé, Nick, and at some point she stuck some of those glow in the dark stars to the ceiling and then removed them.
One was missed, though, and it shines dimly over in the far corner.
I stare at that star, thinking about the conversation I had with Jonah.
Thinking about all the days since we came to stay here, the way he’s treated us, the way he’s protected us.
I understand it better, now. How a guy who grew up in that kind of environment would want to go out of his way to help someone else living through it.
It shouldn’t feel so easy to trust Jonah, not after what I’ve been through. But I think about what he said the first time we slept together, about how it felt like we were drawn together, like we knew each other, right from the start.
It might not make any sense, but I felt that connection too. I still do. In fact, it’s only getting stronger the more time I spend with him.
So why in the hell am I lying in this bed alone when he’s right downstairs?
Without giving myself time to second guess, I jump out of bed, grabbing the robe off the back of my door.
Downstairs, I pause in the hallway to the bedrooms. When we moved in, there had been two available rooms—the one upstairs and the smallest room on the first floor.
I’d insisted Lucas and I could sleep in the same room but as soon as he realized he could possibly sleep across the hall from Jonah, he’d begged me to reconsider.
Jonah assured me it would be fine, promising that his brothers never brought their one-night-stands back to the house and Lucas wouldn’t be bothering anyone.
I couldn’t pretend like I didn’t like the idea of my kid being surrounded by all those big Barlowe boys at night, and Lucas is thrilled that he gets to sleep near the guys.
I peek into Lucas’s halfway open door. My little boy is sleeping on his back, one arm thrown over his head, snoring. I grin to myself, heart clenching hard with emotion. Even when he’s a little brat at dinner, I still love that kid more than life itself.
Content in the knowledge that Lucas is safe, I creep down the hallway to the last room on the right. There’s a dim light shining under the door, meaning Jonah is probably awake. I debate with myself for a few seconds before taking a deep breath and knocking softly.
“Come in.”
I push open the door and my heart stutters at the sight of him. He’s on his bed, what appears to be some kind of fishing supply catalog on his knees, his upper body propped against the headboard. His shirtless upper body. Good lord, it should be illegal for a man to look that good.
“See something you like?” he asks in a wry voice, and I startle, realizing I’ve been standing here slack-jawed, staring at him like an idiot, for way too long.
“I just…sorry,” I stammer. “I. Um. Couldn’t sleep.”
The smirk on his face grows. “I ever tell you how cute you are when you’re nervous?” he asks, then pats the side of his bed. “Come sit down. Tell me why you can’t sleep.”
He tosses the catalog aside when I get to the bed and takes my hand. “You okay?”
“Why haven’t you tried to kiss me?” I blurt out, then immediately snap my mouth closed. God, could I be any less cool?
A furrow appears between his eyebrows. “What?”
I can’t look at those beautiful dark eyes, I’m way too embarrassed.
So I focus on my feet, the fingers on my free hand moving to fidget with the tie of my robe.
“Since we moved in here. I thought you and I…but we haven’t…
and you…” Jesus, I’m a wreck. I close my eyes, mortification washing over me. I should have just stayed in my room.
“Ellie,” he says, his voice both tender and husky. “Look at me.”
Dragging my eyes up to his is one of the hardest things I’ve tried to do lately, but Jonah deserves my full attention. When I meet his gaze, my breath catches again. He’s looking at me with such tenderness I get goosebumps.
“Sweetheart, I’ve been waiting for you.”
“Waiting for me?” I ask.
He smiles. “Yes. Waiting for you to come to me, just like this.”
I shake my head. “I don’t understand.”
He tugs on my hand, pulling me a little closer across the mattress.
“I needed you to know that your safety—your boy’s safety—that it didn’t come with a price.
You guys staying here isn’t contingent on this thing between us.
You understand that, right? That I’m not expecting anything from you.
That you guys have a place to stay even if you decide you never want me touching you again.
” His lips twitch up at the corner. “Of course, I fucking pray that you do want me to touch you.”
His expression grows serious as he reaches up to cup my cheek. “But I mean it, Ellie. You don’t owe me anything. If something happens between us it needs to be because you want it.”
Something is rising up in my chest. Some emotion that feels so strong and overwhelming that I’m almost afraid. I knew that Jonah was a good guy but this…how on earth did I get so lucky? I don’t think anyone in my life has ever cared about me like this.
“Hey, are you crying?” he asks, his voice turning panicked in an instant. “Don’t cry, darlin’. Please. I can’t stand it.”
I shake my head, blinking rapidly to dispel the tears. “I’m just…you’re so wonderful, Jonah.”
He makes a face. “I think my siblings would like to argue with that.”
I reach out and place a finger over his mouth, my voice turning firm.
“I mean it. You’re the best man I’ve ever met.
” I suck in a breath, realizing that I don’t need to gather up my courage.
There’s nothing scary about standing in front of this man and telling him what I need.
“Of course I want you,” I tell him. “I want you more than I’ve ever wanted anything in my life. ”
His eyes flash and then suddenly his hands are on my sides and he’s lifting me, pulling me over his lap, my knees coming to either side of his hips. “Thank fuck,” he mutters, then his mouth is on mine.
It all happens fast after that. Somehow my robe is off my shoulders and on the floor, my nightshirt following immediately after.
Jonah’s hands are everywhere, warm and demanding on my skin, lighting up every nerve in my body.
And he never stops kissing me, that hot, demanding mouth pressed against mine, trailing down over my collarbones, teasing the peaks of my breasts, drawing little whimpers of pleasure from deep in my throat.
“Slow next time,” he pants against my breast. “It’s been too fucking long to take my time, Ellie.”
“Fine by me,” I murmur, pulling his face back to mine for more kisses.
“You have any idea what you’ve been doing to me?” he asks. “Knowing you’re upstairs every night when you should be here in my bed.”
“I was thinking about you every night,” I tell him. Then, just because I know it will make him crazy, I bring my mouth to his ear. “Touching myself every night.”
“God damn it,” he growls, and wow. Crazy doesn’t even begin to cover it. He pulls me off his lap and has me pinned to the bed beneath him before I can even squeak in surprise. “You asked for it,” he grumbles before his mouth attacks my breasts.
“Jonah,” I gasp, my fingers threading into his thick hair. “God.”
“You’re wearing far too much clothes,” he says, his hands going down to the edge of my panties.
I laugh, breathless. “I’m only wearing panties.”
“Like I said, far too much.” He starts to inch them down. “God, I’ve fucking missed this pussy.”
“You have a very dirty mouth,” I point out.
He grins up at me, his expression so wolfish it sends a shiver through my body.
“You like it.” Then he grabs my hips and flips me over in one smooth movement.
“You know what I’ve been thinking about all week?
” He gets my panties down over my hips and lets out a little growl.
“Getting better acquainted with this ass. I haven’t given it nearly enough attention. ”
I giggle into the pillow. “Now that you mention it, my ass has been feeling left out.” Then I squeal was he sinks his teeth into the flesh.
“You’re fucking perfect, Ellie,” he mutters, nipping at my skin again. Then he nips at the skin of my lower back, dragging his teeth up over my spine. “So fucking perfect—”
All of a sudden he goes still. His hot breath disappears from my skin as he lifts his head. I can’t feel his body against mine anymore, but I can sense his sudden tension, the rigidness of his muscles.
“What the fuck,” he finally whispers.
“Jonah?”
“Where does your ex live?” he asks, his voice almost eerily calm, the exact opposite of the boiling heat that has been coursing through my veins for the last few minutes. I blink at him over my shoulder. He’s kneeling on the bed, his eyes locked to the bottom of my shoulder blade. My stomach sinks.
“Jonah—”
“Does he smoke cigars?” he asks in that same eerie voice. “Is that what this is from?”
“I don’t want to talk about it,” I whisper, embarrassment swelling deep in my gut. Jonah has seen me with my clothes off before, but I’ve never felt this naked.
He’s quiet for a long moment, his gaze never leaving my skin. “That’s fine,” he finally says. “We don’t have to talk about it. Just tell me where he lives.”
I crane my neck to stare at him. “What? Why?”
“Because I’m going to fucking kill him.”
I gape at him as I realize he’s not kidding—not in the slightest. There’s a rage burning in his eyes I’ve never experienced before. Even Kevin didn’t look like this in his angriest moments. I’m pretty sure that Jonah could actually kill my ex.
“Don’t be ridiculous.”
He makes a low, disgusted noise in the back of his throat. “I promise you, ridiculous is the last thing I’m feeling right now.”
“Jonah—”
“He fucking left scars on you, Ellie.” Some of that calmness finally breaks, a flash of red-hot fire burning in his voice.