Seven
Kaiden’s been kinda off for a couple of weeks now. He hasn’t said anything, but I’m starting to wonder if he doesn’t want to hang out anymore. The thought makes me sad. He’s been my best friend since the day we met, and I thought I was his.
I mean, it’s not like I don’t have other friends. I have a whole bunch from school and where I live, but none of them are like Kaiden, and Kaiden isn’t like any of them.
But recently, I sometimes catch him looking at me with this kinda haunted expression that makes my stomach twist. Like he’s carrying something heavy he can’t put down. When I ask what’s wrong, he just shakes his head and changes the subject.
Today, I find him in what’s recently become our usual spot behind the curtains in the bay window. He’s curled up with his knees drawn to his chest, staring out at nothing. There’s a purple bruise on his cheekbone that wasn’t there yesterday.
“Kaiden?” I whisper, sliding in beside him.
He flinches when I touch his arm, and my heart squeezes. “What happened to your face?”
“Training got rough,” he says, but his voice sounds hollow. Empty.
I don’t believe him. Master Yutaka would never let someone get hurt like that during practice.
But I’ve learned not to push too hard when Kaiden gets like this.
He might think I’m ignorant, but I know the truth about Vito Rossi.
Instead, I change the subject. “You wanna go to the kitchen for something to eat?”
“Maybe later,” he mumbles, and I bite my lip, my tummy feeling all weird because it feels like he’s pushing me away.
We sit in uncomfortable silence for a while, as I try to figure out what to say that won’t make things worse.
I huff out a sigh. “Maybe I should just go.” In the end, I decide on honesty, because, well… I don’t want to be the clingy loser. Kaiden is so grown up for a boy who’s about to turn fifteen. I guess I’m just a kid to him these days. “I feel like you don’t really want me here.”
I stand and gather my things, planning to go eat with Rosa until Mamma’s finished, but before I can leave, Kaiden grabs my hand.
“I’m sorry,” he finally says, his voice so quiet I almost don’t hear it.
“For what?” I sit down again, scooting closer, and this time he doesn’t flinch away, which is a relief.
“For being weird lately.” He turns to look at me, and there’s something in his eyes that makes my chest feel tight. Something that looks almost like grief. “You deserve better than... than this.”
“Better than what? Better than you?” The words come out sharper than I intend. “You’re my best friend, Kaiden. I don’t want anyone else.”
He looks away again, his jaw clenching. “You don’t understand.”
“Then help me understand.” I grab his hand, and I’m surprised by how cold his fingers are. “Please. You’re scaring me.”
For a long moment, I think he’s going to shut me out again. But then his shoulders slump, and he squeezes my hand so tight it almost hurts.
“There are things that happen here,” he says slowly, carefully, like he’s testing each word before he lets it out. “Things that... that people shouldn’t have to do. Especially kids.”
I swallow hard, not sure I want to hear this, but knowing I need to. “What kind of things?”
He’s quiet for so long, I decide he’s probably not going to answer. When he does, his voice is different. Older again, somehow. “You know what the women do in Vito’s brothels?”
Heat floods my cheeks. I’m not stupid. I might only be fourteen, but I know what goes on in places like that.
Mamma’s tried to shield me from it, but I’ve heard enough whispered conversations, caught enough knowing looks between adults.
It’s impossible not to when I spend so much time here. “Yeah,” I say quietly. “I do.”
“Sometimes... sometimes people get forced into that life. People who don’t have a choice.” His thumb traces circles on the back of my hand, and I realize he’s shaking. “Kids get sold by their parents to pay debts.”
I know he’s talking about himself in that respect.
“Women get trafficked from other countries with promises of good jobs, or even from the streets of New York, then get trapped. And once you’re in... it’s impossible to get out.”
My stomach turns over. “That’s awful.”
“It is.” He finally looks at me, and the pain in his eyes makes me want to cry. “And the people running it…”
He doesn’t say the name, but I know he means the Viper.
“They don’t care about making it better. They don’t care about keeping the women safe or healthy. They just want to squeeze every dollar out of them until there’s nothing left.”
I feel sick. Really, truly sick. Because I’m starting to understand what he’s not saying. “Kaiden... did Vito make you...”
“No.”
The word comes out fast, almost too fast. He gulps down a couple of unsteady breaths and looks away, shaking his head.
“Not like that. But he makes sure I see it all. Makes me collect money from those places. He made me...” He stops, his free hand curling into a fist. “He made sure I understand how powerless those women are. How powerless I am.”
I don’t know what to say. What can you say to something like that? I just squeeze his hand tighter and lean my head against his shoulder.
“I hate him,” Kaiden whispers, and there’s so much venom in those three words it scares me a little. “I hate what he does. I hate that I can’t stop it. I hate that I’m part of it.”
“You’re not part of it,” I say firmly. “You’re just trying to survive.”
He makes a sound that might be a laugh but comes out more like a sob. “That’s what they all tell themselves. That they’re just surviving.” He takes a shaky breath. “But survival means becoming complicit. It means watching terrible things happen and doing nothing.”
“You’re not doing nothing,” I insist, even though I’m not sure what else he could do. “You’re here. You’re you. That matters.”
He turns to look at me then, really look at me, and something shifts in his expression. The haunted look softens just a little. “How do you do that?”
“Do what?”
“Make everything seem... less terrible. Even when it’s not.”
I shrug, feeling heat creep up my neck. “I just tell you the truth. You’re a good person, Kaiden. I know you are.”
“You don’t know everything about me.” His voice drops lower. “There are things I’ve done…”
“I don’t care.” The words burst out before I can stop them. “Whatever you’ve had to do to survive, it doesn’t change who you are in here.” I press my hand against his chest. “Not to me.”
He stares at me for a long moment, and I can see him wrestling with something. Finally, he reaches up and tucks a strand of hair behind my ear, his fingers lingering against my cheek in a way that makes my tummy feel funny.
“You’re amazing, you know that?” he says softly. “I don’t deserve a friend like you.”
My heart does this weird fluttery thing, and suddenly I’m very aware of how close we’re sitting. How his hand is still against my face. How his dark eyes are looking at me like I’m something precious.
“Kaiden...” I start, but I don’t know how to finish.
He drops his hand and looks away again, but this time there’s something different in his expression. Less haunted. More... I don’t know. Hopeful, maybe?
“Aspen, can I ask you something?”
“Always,” I tell him, meaning it completely.
He fidgets with the hem of his shirt, which is so unlike him it makes me nervous. Kaiden’s always so confident, so sure of himself. Seeing him uncertain like this is strange.
“Would you... I mean, if I asked you to be my girlfriend, would you...?”
My breath catches. Everything inside me goes still and warm at the same time. “Are you asking?”
“Yeah.” He looks up at me through his lashes, and there’s this vulnerability in his face I’ve never seen before, since he’s always so guarded. “I am.”
My heart feels like it’s going to burst right out through my ribs. “Yes,” I whisper, and then say it louder. “Absolutely, yes.”
The smile that breaks across his face is the most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen. It chases away all the shadows, makes him look young again instead of carrying the weight of the whole world on his shoulders.
“Really?” He sounds almost disbelieving, like he thought I might say no. As if! Boys are dumb sometimes.
“Kaiden, I’ve been crushing on you since forever,” I admit, feeling my cheeks burn. “But I was starting to think you just saw me as some annoying kid.”
“Annoying?” He laughs, and it’s a real laugh this time, not the hollow sound from earlier. “Aspen, you’re the only good thing about this place. The only person who makes me feel like maybe I’m not completely broken. I don’t know how I would have survived here all these years without you. Except…”
He looks pensive again, as if something’s weighing on him.
“What is it, Kaiden?”
“Vito warned me…”
“Warned you about what?” I ask, my brows drawing together because he looks so torn.
“He warned me away from you. Says you’re not for me. Like it was forbidden or something.”
My scowl deepens. “The Viper has no say over what I do or who I spend time with,” I tell him, a fierceness I didn’t know I possessed rising up in my chest at the mere thought that Vito Rossi would try to keep Kaiden away from me.
“He’s dangerous, Aspen,” Kaiden whispers, searching my face.
“Then we’ll just have to be careful, won’t we?”
He takes both my hands in his and squeezes them. “You make everything better, you know that? And I... Well, I like you. You know - Really like you.”
My tummy feels like there’s something running around inside it. Especially when he closes the gap between us and presses his lips against mine.
My first kiss… well, from someone who’s not my mom or brother. It’s not like you see in the movies. It’s like a kiss on the cheek, except on my mouth. But it’s special. The best kiss ever. I’ll remember it forever.
“I really like you too.”