Forty-Two #2
The way she says it makes me wonder if she did want more, but it didn’t happen, and I don’t know how to feel about that. I know what rejection feels like, and it’s not any fun.
She gives a delicate shrug, and I wonder how this woman is even a hooker.
She just… gives off a different vibe. One of confident elegance, rather than the desperation I always assumed a woman had to feel in order to sell her body.
But hell, what do I know? This whole experience is way out of my comprehension.
“Besides, the message I sent to Kaiden was about work, nothing more. Unfortunately, we had a… situation.”
The warmth in her demeanor goes from warm to ice-cold as she remembers whatever crisis they’re dealing with here.
My head is swimming. This whole day has been entirely too much, and I really don’t know what to think.
I kinda just want to go home and curl into a ball and pretend the world, and Kaiden Brooks in particular, don’t exist. But as tempting as that might be, I’m here, and Kitty is right in front of me and appears to be taking questions.
The truth is, I might not ever have another chance to get answers.
I take a sip of the whiskey, letting it burn down my throat, grounding me. “So, if you’re not sleeping with him, what exactly is your relationship?”
Kitty settles into the chair across from me, crossing her legs with practiced grace, but I can’t help notice the flash of… something… in her eyes at the ‘not sleeping with him’ comment. It has my gut roiling.
“You should know that Kaiden saved me. Saved all of us here.” She gestures vaguely toward the door, indicating the women beyond.
I stifle the urge to drum my fingers. That was not an answer. In fact, it was so much of a non-answer that my suspicions go haywire once again.
“I met Kaiden soon after I started here…”
Her eyes are far away, focusing on something in the past.
“He was fourteen years old - just a child!”
To my complete and utter shock, Kitty’s expression crumples, and she covers her face with her hands, muffling her words so I have to strain to hear them.
“I’ll never forgive myself for what happened that day. I wish I could have been stronger, but I was so scared. You have to understand, I was only nineteen myself. I’d been torn away from everything I knew, and I didn’t want to be beaten or raped again.”
She raises her head, but it’s clear her mind is in some other place. “Maybe I should have. Maybe I could have engineered a different outcome…”
She shakes her head. “But knowing the Viper, it probably would have only made things worse. So I did what he ordered, and Kaiden agreed to it. I suspect for the same reasons.”
My hands ball into fists, and I want to ask what my mind wants to reject, but I don’t think I’m strong enough.
Fuck it. Yes, I am. “You had sex with him.”
Kitty looks at me then like she’s only just remembered I’m there. Then it’s as if all the blood drains from her face. Her shoulders heave, and she slaps her hand to her mouth as she stumbles to her feet.
I think she’s going to throw up, but she manages an uncoordinated lunge for the door and rushes through it, leaving me sitting there with nothing left to do but throw back the rest of my whiskey.
I need it.
I’ve just tossed the glass down on the desk when I hear my husband’s voice.
“Kitty? What’s wrong? What happened? Are you alright? Here, let me help you…”
His genuine concern and clear affection brings me to my feet. I shouldn’t have come here.
Nothing I’ve learned today has helped one bit. In fact, it’s made everything worse.
So much worse.
I don’t catch Kitty’s muffled response, but I hear the heels of her shoes rushing across the hardwood floor, followed by a door slamming.
I need to leave.
I’m stooping down to grab my bag when Kaiden comes thundering in.
He grabs my arm, almost unbalancing me.
“Hey! What the hell do you think you’re doing, upsetting my….”
He wrenches me around to face him, none too gently, but stops short when he realizes it’s me.
“Your what?” I ask, freezing out my emotions so I can retain a semblance of composure. “Your girlfriend? Your lover? Your personal whore?”
Kaiden pales beneath his tan, and I look pointedly at where he grasps my arm in a bruising grip.
Immediately, he lets me go like he’s been burned.
“Aspen…” It’s barely more than a whisper. His eyes are wide, and shocked… and guilty?
I’m not sure I’m able to judge anymore. Not sure I even want to know.
“I think it’s time for me to leave,” I say, my voice eerily calm even to my own ears. “Clearly you’re busy here with your... responsibilities.”
“Aspen, wait!” He reaches for me again, but I step back, holding up my hand.
“Don’t.” The single word comes out sharper than I intend, but I’m hanging on by a thread.
“I came here looking for answers, and I got them. You were following Mika’s orders when you came back into my life.
This…” I gesture between us. “Was never about wanting me. It was about a job. And then you found out about Kai, and suddenly you had another reason to stick around.”
“No! That’s not…”
He tries to reach for me, but I hold my hands out in front of me like I’m protecting myself.
I suppose I am.
“I went looking for you at the compound. Mika and I had a very illuminating chat.”
Kaiden looks a little green now.
“He mentioned you’d be here… not that I knew what Prospect House was.” A dry laugh tumbles from my throat, and it takes everything I have not to let it dissolve into hysteria.
“And then I was greeted by her.” I jerk my chin toward the door where Kitty disappeared.
“The woman you claim was the only other woman in ten years. The woman you ran to, then never came back. The woman you apparently lost your virginity to when you were fourteen, even though you always let me believe I was your first, just like you were mine. Even though I was your best friend back then, you never mentioned it.”
I fight down a sob, but it escapes anyway.
“Even though you asked me to be your girlfriend when you were that age. Was it before or after?”
Kaiden flinches like I’ve slapped him. His jaw works, muscles ticking, but no words come out.
Why the hell did I ask that? Those aren’t the words I wanted to say.
The silence stretches between us as I fight back my tears. “Actually, don’t bother answering that. I don’t want to know. Just stay away from me.” Not that it appears he’s going to respond, so maybe all I’m doing is saving face.
I do the only thing I can. I turn and walk away.