Chapter 5
Do You Understand
Van
No one should ever have to enter a room and find the love of their life pale and lifeless on the floor.
When Saoibhin called me I was only two miles from the house. It didn’t take long to get back, but I texted Eamonn, and he beat me there.
He had Saoibhin in his arms and waved me past him.
“Kitchen bathroom.” Those were the only words he said. I knew he had Saoibhin. I heard the ambulance at the bottom of the hill as I ran inside.
I knew he had things covered while my world spun around me. That he’d take care of Saoibhin and direct the paramedics.
I also knew he wasn’t in there, helping Skye. The only way he wouldn’t be helping her is if she was dead.
I ran. Slipped on the floor. Hopped over a stuffed animal and slid to my knees as I came upon my wife on the bathroom floor. The door had been busted in. The frame was splintered and broken.
The dog whimpered and licked at Skye’s feet. She was so pale. Totally unconscious. I didn’t think to check for a pulse. I didn’t think to administer CPR. You think in those panicky moments that common sense and previous knowledge will prevail. I’ve known how to do CPR since I was ten.
But I didn’t do any of those things. I cradled her head, and I begged. I begged her, God, Satan, whoever would listen.
Please don’t take her from me. Please.
I bargained with my life. Others’ lives. I offered everything except my daughter.
The EMTs were there suddenly. I didn’t see them walk in. I don’t know what they heard me say. They took her from me and began working immediately. I heard words in flashes and bits.
“Weak pulse.”
“Blood loss.”
“Internal injuries.”
They had her on the stretcher and moved quickly. They took her, and I didn’t even get in the ambulance.
I didn’t know until after I arrived at the hospital that I was in shock.
One of the nurses helped me. Her name was Rose. I’m not sure why I remember that. Everything else is so fuzzy. So fragmented. Like a puzzle without all the pieces. I truly can’t put them all together. I’m not even sure who drove me here. I might have driven. I have no idea.
Once I settled in at the hospital, I filled out paperwork and answered questions.
Does she have a heart condition? No.
Does she have diabetes? No.
Date of her last menstrual period. March seventh. .
Noah and Finn walk up to me in the waiting room. I wonder if they’ve been here all along. Maybe they drove me. “Any updates?”
“Nothing. No one will give me answers. They just keep giving me more paperwork to fill out.”
“Where the fuck is Marnee when you need her?”
“Right. Marnee. I can call and ask her, but I don’t want to freak Jake out.”
“You’ve made that mistake before, lad,” Noah says. “Best not to keep him in the dark. Tell them both what is going on. Tell them what you know.”
I nod. I know nothing. But I make the call anyway. It goes straight to voicemail.
I try again.
And again.
“They landed already, didn’t they?”
My uncles don’t really answer. Just look at each other and then me again.
I try once more, and Marnee finally answers the phone.
“Van? What’s wrong?”
Of course she knows right away that something is wrong. I don’t exactly call Marnee regularly. Skye would hate that. As much as she knows that I am completely devoted to her, Marnee is still my ex, and my girl has a wild jealous streak.
My heart pangs as I think about her, vibrant and jealous and giving me shit.
I clear my throat. “Is Jake with you?”
“Yeah.” Her voice trails up at the end.
“Put it on speaker, you both need to hear this.”
The background noise on her end of the phone changes. Rain batters the window around them, loud enough that for a second, it’s all I hear. It’s almost soothing.
“It’s Skye. I found her unconscious. She’s in the hospital, but… I don’t know what’s wrong. I need you to tell me what’s wrong with her. The paramedics said something about blood loss and internal injuries.”
“Jesus, Van. I’m sorry.” It’s Marnee responding. If Jake is truly listening, he’s not saying anything.
“Van, I’m on an island. I can’t tell what’s wrong with her from here and with that little information.”
“Damn it, Mar, I know that. I need you to call one of your friends here and have them tell me.”
“Van, we have HIPAA laws. They can’t do that. Isn’t there a doctor informing you about what’s happening to her?”
“I’m getting nothing.”
“Okay. Okay. Let me think. Is she taking any medication?”
“I don’t think so. Not that I know of. Not that she told me. She would tell me, right?”
“Yeah, I’m not touching that with a ten-foot pole. What about previous heart problems?”
There’s silence. On their end and mine. Heart problems are what killed Nina.
“Van, you are going to drive yourself insane trying to guess. I know it’s hard, but you have to wait for the doctor. Where is Saoibhin?”
“Eamonn has her. He’s taking her to the Baptista’s after dinner.”
I’m not even sure how I know that. Did I talk to Eamonn? Did he call me?
“How is she? You said she’s the one who called you. Did she see Skye?”
“No, Skye locked herself in the bathroom. Eamonn had to break in.”
“Of course she did. Protecting Saoibhin and putting herself in more danger by delaying care. Very Skye.”
“She’s a mother.”
“Of the highest fucking caliber,” Jake says. It’s the first time I hear his voice, and the sound of it nearly breaks me. .
I can’t. I need to get off the phone.
By the grace of God, a doctor exits the doors and walks toward me.
“The doctor is coming. I’ll update you as soon as I can.”
I hang up the phone and stand up. The man in pale green scrubs and a white coat looks grim. His glasses are high up on his face, but he pushes them up anyway. A nervous tic, most likely. Normally I like making people nervous. Today is anything but normal.
“Are you Mr. Monroe?”
My uncles would usually chuckle at such a mistake. Today no one does, and I don’t bother to correct him. I don’t care what he thinks my name is. And if anything, I’m more Monroe than she is Bennett.
“Yes, I am.” My uncles stand behind me with their arms crossed and the doctor looks between the two of them nervously. I think he wants them to leave. I won’t be asking them to.
“Your wife is alive but she’s in critical condition. She had an ectopic pregnancy, and it almost killed her. The egg implanted low in one of her fallopian tubes, causing it to rupture. She lost a significant amount of blood internally. We had to give her a transfusion and extra platelets.”
I didn’t know Skye was pregnant. I don’t even know if she knew.
“There’s more.” The doctor shifts uncomfortably from one foot to the other. If I were interrogating him, I’d say he was lying, or that he was about to divulge something big.
“Since the other tube was damaged previously there was a lot of scar tissue…” he lets the silence hover in the air for a minute to see if I can fill it. I can’t.
“Her uterine wall also ruptured, and in order to stop the blood loss, we had to remove it. Do you understand what I'm telling you?”
“You’re saying this isn’t her first miscarriage.”
“Yes. The previous was likely an ectopic as well. They are rare but once you’ve had one your chances of having another go up.”
“And when did she have this other miscarriage?”
“I couldn't say. Some years ago. It likely happened at home. There’s no record of it in her history. Quite frankly she’s lucky to have survived the first one.”
“So you’re saying this is something that can keep happening.”
The doctor furrows his brow and looks at my uncles. Finn drops his head.
“No. This won’t happen to her again.” He reaches out and takes my hands.
“I understand this is all very confusing. I’m going to go over the basics again so you fully understand.
Skye is in critical condition. She lost a significant amount of blood.
We had to remove both fallopian tubes and her uterus.
We’ll be monitoring her overnight. If she does survive the night her chances of recovery are greatly improved.
But even if she makes it… she will never carry another pregnancy. Ever.”
I understand why he has my hands now, but I yank them back. I don’t want to be touched. I just want Skye. I want my wife. I need my wife.
“Can I see her?”
“You can come in for a quick second, but they can’t. Only immediate family in the icu. You should prepare yourself. She’s hooked up to a lot.”