15
The red light above the operating room door goes out.
Mother is sent back to her ward, and I stay by her side, holding her hand, waiting for her to wake up.
Lincoln says I should eat something, so he goes out to buy me some food.
Shortly after he leaves, I feel Mother's fingertips suddenly tremble lightly.
"Mom." I lean close to her face.
Her eyelids also tremble, then slowly open.
She looks at me and gives a weak smile, "Ali, you loved to cry when you were a child, and you still love to cry now."
"I'm not crying." I sniffle and wipe my eyes.
But my vision blurs again the next second.
"Ali." Mother sighs softly, "What will you do at my funeral? Cry a river? England is already wet enough, baby."
"Mom—" I lay my head on the bedside, my voice tinged with sobs, "Don't curse yourself, I'm still young, you have to stay with me for a long, long time."
"Of course, I want to stay with you," Mother gently smooths my hair, "But I've burdened you for too long, even your marriage..."
"Mom, are you thirsty? The doctor said you can't eat or drink now, but I can moisten your lips with a swab."
"Don't—don't change the subject," Mother coughs lightly, "I'm afraid if I don't say it now, it'll be too late."
"My marriage is fine, Mateo and I are very happy." I say with a heavy heart.
On my wedding day, Mother was very sick and didn't attend. Mateo and I didn't take wedding photos either; the photographer captured some moments at the ceremony, but we were always far apart.
So I used Photoshop to put Mateo and me together, with his arm around my waist. I even edited his frown into a smile and showed it to Mother.
Later, I wove countless lies, like how Mateo was busy and couldn't visit the nursing home; I bought lots of nutritional supplements for Mother, saying they were gifts from him.
Mother lies in the hospital bed, her lips pale under the cold light.
"Is that so?" she coughs again, "Then why has he never appeared? And why do you never smile when you mention him?"
"I'm happy."
"Ali, I'm your mother, you can't lie to me."
The ward falls silent.
"A young man has visited me recently." Mother suddenly speaks.
"Who?"
"I met him while sunbathing in the garden. The nurse caring for me went to the restroom, a wind blew my handkerchief away, and he appeared to help me retrieve it."
"What's his name?"
"Lincoln."
A ticking bomb goes off in my mind.
Lincoln never told me he had visited the nursing home, and what exactly did he talk to Mother about?
"Your professor is very kind; he heard about your family situation at school and came to see me." Mother's words defuse the bomb.
But.
Lincoln? Professor? I recall carefully, oh, he once gave us a lecture on architecture, if that counts.
"Did he visit again?" I ask tentatively.
Mother nods.
"What did you talk about?"
"The weather, flowers, art, and of course, you." Mother pauses, "He showed me your design draft for 'Turandot.' He said you always perform well in school, I'm very proud."
I smile, "I've always been excellent, Mom."
"I know. But hearing it from a professor is different." Mother also smiles.
At this moment, Lincoln pushes the door open and enters. "Ma'am, you're awake."
"Professor, why are you here?" Mother is a bit surprised.
Lincoln looks at me, lies without a change in expression, "Ali had my evening class today, she took leave. So, I came over after class to check on you."
He places the food he bought on the bedside table, then waves politely, "I'm relieved to see that you're okay. I'll take my leave."
Mother and I say goodbye to him.
The ward door closes, and the room falls silent again.
"I can't eat after surgery, that food is for you, right?" Mother suddenly asks.
I silently glance at the food on the table, unsure whether to nod.
"Ali, your professor likes you, doesn't he?" Mother throws out another question.
"He—" I open my mouth, but swallow back the chaotic truth that he is my brother-in-law and we've slept together, "We're just teacher and student."
"When he came to visit me, I started to suspect. You're a college student; no matter how much a teacher cares, who has the time and energy to visit a parent frequently?"
"We—really are just teacher and student." I say, bracing myself.
"I'm not saying you need to start dating him right now.
But you will graduate sooner or later, won't you?
And I'm not saying you have to be with him, because there are many good men in the world.
Ali, just don't trap yourself in an unhappy marriage for the sake of someone like me, who's about to die. "
Mother speaks a long sentence in one breath, then starts panting.
"Mom, you're tired, get some rest." I tuck the blanket around her.
"Life can be changed while you still have time. Ali, I just want you to be happy."
With those final words, Mother closes her eyes again, exhausted.
For the next week, I stay at the nursing home with Mother. Lincoln occasionally shows up. Everyone knows Mother doesn't have much time left in this world. I treat each minute as an hour, hoping she'll stay with me just a little longer.
But today, Mateo's phone call shatters that peace.
He says he's discharged from the hospital and wants me to pick him up.
I stand at the end of the corridor to answer the call, "I'm busy."
"Ali Morris, don't think that saving my life means you can do whatever you want now." Mateo grinds out my full name through clenched teeth, "I'm giving you a chance, giving your family a chance."
Family? I only have one family member, and she's about to die.
My uncle and aunt manipulated my mother's health report and concealed her illness, using her to force me to bear a child with Mateo to strengthen their ties with the Daniels family.
Only then would they be satisfied.
"Has my uncle asked you to invest in his business project again?" I pause, "Ignore him. Just stop everything."
There's silence on the other end of the line for a few seconds.
"Where are you?" he asks.
"It's none of your business." Now I just want to be with Mother.
"Ali Morris! How dare you talk to me like this? Do you believe I won't divorce you right now?!"
"Send me the divorce papers, I'll sign them."
Before I hang up, my eardrum vibrates from his enraged shouting. I put my phone in my pocket, rub my ear, and return to the ward.
Mother is asleep again. I sit by her bed, watching the sunlight touch the fine hairs on her face, feeling utterly hopeless.
My phone vibrates again.
I think it's Mateo again and want to turn it off, but then I see it's a call from my professor. A real professor.
Today is the final exam, but I'm not there. I explain that I'm at the nursing home, and he kindly says that given my special circumstances, he can arrange with the administration to postpone my exam, but I need to go to the office to sign.
I touch Mother's hand and whisper that I'll be back soon, then drive to the university.
The staff at the administration office are also kind, offering their regards to my mother as I sign.
I thank them politely and head to the parking lot. Just as I approach my cheap second-hand Seat, a large hand suddenly reaches from behind and grabs my arm.
I'm pulled back, my spine colliding with a chest.
Mateo's hot breath hisses into my ear, "So that's why you suddenly want a divorce? You hooked up with my brother while I was in a coma, didn't you, you bitch?"
I don't know how Mateo found out, but it doesn't matter now.
"Let go of me, I need to see my mom at the nursing home." I struggle.
Mateo grabs my neck with his hands, like a hunter grabbing a goose, "Don't use your mom as an excuse! She's not newly ill; her condition has been stable. the nursing home is where you two have an affair, right?! I know he's always there too!"
I can't help it, frantically but futilely scratching his grip with my nails as the air in my lungs slowly disappears.
A deathly sense of suffocation rises from my feet, like a tide engulfing me.
Mateo grabs my neck and drags me towards his car.
The car speeds down the road, heading towards the old mansion.