Chapter 7 - Owen
Trina storms out of the room. The sizzling of my forgotten taco mix finally seeps through into my senses, and I rush to switch off the burner before the oil ignites.
I’m pissed about everything Trina just said, and also deeply disturbed that I didn’t notice the meat burning.
My senses should have been keen enough to sense it the moment it started sizzling.
I’m being constantly reminded of how weak I am. We do need to do something, but I’m never going to agree to Trina’s conditions. What the hell was Sadie thinking?
I salvage as much of the meal as I can and eat without enthusiasm, sitting by myself at the dining room table. I put the leftovers in the fridge when I’m done, making sure there’s enough for Trina, knowing that she’ll come out and eat after I’ve gone to bed.
That’s been her pattern for the last week. I’ve gotten used to her avoiding me, even though it upsets me more every day.
When I try to go to bed, I’m restless. Too many twisted thoughts are swirling around in my head. Ordinarily, I’d go for a run, but I can feel my wolf slumbering beneath a deep, dark curtain, and I know he won’t come if I try to summon him.
Even worse, a few texts come in from Serina, our healer. She’s taken in a few more pack members who have succumbed to the curse, and even though no one has died, it’s enough to leave me gravely concerned.
We have to do something. Maybe agreeing to Trina’s conditions is better than doing nothing.
Suddenly, my wolf rises, roaring and howling as it tears free from the shadowy web of my subconscious. The idea of letting go of Trina is simply unacceptable, and even though my wolf can’t manifest, my primal side is making it very clear that we won’t let her go.
I toss and turn all night, unable to rest even slightly. When dawn lightens the room, and I hear Trina in the kitchen, I get up slowly, trying to settle my emotions so I can have a real conversation with her.
I need to take this one step at a time. I thought this was Sadie giving her false hope, but that’s just a cover for the fact that my wolf is going crazy at the idea of losing her. If I can work through this rationally, maybe we can find a solution that works for all of us.
My wolf growls deep in my soul, letting me know that any future without Trina is unacceptable. I try to quiet it, knowing that showing possessiveness is only going to freak Trina out even more.
When I get to the kitchen, Trina is sitting at the dining table with her coffee, smiling as she reads a magazine. She looks up as I enter the room, and the bright look immediately vanishes as she turns her face away from me.
“Good morning,” I say, trying to sound smooth but ending up awkward.
“Morning,” she says, not looking up.
While I make my coffee, I can’t take my eyes off her. She’s wearing rumpled pink pajamas, and her blond hair is a tangled mess around her shoulders. She has her chin in one hand as she flips the pages of the magazine, looking casual and comfortable.
Well, probably not that comfortable now that I’m here.
The thought further darkens my mood, and when I sit down across from her, I’m aware that I’m carrying a bucketload of tension, but I have no idea how to escape it.
Just don’t take it out on her.
“So, Trina—” I begin.
“I’m going out with Sadie today,” she says, looking up. “We’re going to try and trigger my powers, or something. I’m not really clear on it.”
“Okay,” I reply. “That sounds constructive. Is there anything you need me to do?”
“No,” she answers, turning her face back to the magazine. “I’ll get ready soon. She’s picking me up, and we’re going to the park.”
“What will you actually be doing?”
“I have no idea,” she chuckles softly. “It’s not like I’ve ever practiced witchcraft.”
I can’t think of anything useful to add, so I just drink my coffee, letting my thoughts spin and trying to sort them into words that might encourage her. When she finally stands up, my nerves jangle, and I have a sudden urge to tackle her to stop her from leaving.
I tried that already. It didn’t work.
“Okay, I’m going to get ready,” she says. “I’ll see you later.”
“Sure,” I answer, still struggling to find a coherent sentence but feeling like my entire vocabulary has vanished.
I need to ask Rhys if it was the same for him—if he completely lost all reason every time Sadie was in the room. It might make me feel better to know this is actually normal behavior for a wolf in love.
That thought shocks me to the core, and I reject it immediately. What I feel for Trina definitely isn’t love. My wolf craves her, and I am attracted to her, but love is an entirely different matter.
I’m still pondering when I hear Trina walk through the house and go out the front door. After the sound of the door closing, I hear Sadie beep the horn, and I know they’ve left together. It leaves me with just a lingering flicker of jealousy, but I push it away so I can focus on my other duties.
After I get ready, I go out to our infirmary, where Serina is treating pack members who have come down with the disease and are unable to care for themselves. I stay for about an hour, helping out in every way I can and feeling more useless by the second.
Was I right? Will having sex with Trina really break the curse for us? I wish I could clear my thoughts on this—but my personal feelings just won’t get out of the way!
As I go out to my car, I try to separate my desire for Trina from the needs of the pack to look at the situation objectively, but it’s impossible. At the briefest suggestion of being with her, my body responds, flooding my senses with potential pleasure and wiping my mind free of rational thought.
Before I really know what I’m doing, I drive to the park where Trina said Sadie was taking her. I don’t see them in the main area, so I take one of the walking tracks, instinct more than senses guiding me.
The silence of my wolf is concerning, but he seems to have no problem rousing at the idea that we might lose Trina.
As if to make a point, my hackles rise, and suddenly I catch Trina’s scent, as thick and sweet as if I’ve just dropped my head into a fully flowering rose bush. Following the scent, I turn off the main path and cut through the woods, finally coming across the girls in a small, grassy clearing.
The scene looks positively idyllic. Sadie and Trina sit across from each other, smiling and laughing as they make strange hand signals at each other. Cassie, Sadie’s daughter, is there, too, and she keeps grabbing their hands to distract them, making everyone laugh even harder.
I stay concealed behind a big tree, watching the girls. My heart warms as I see how comfortable Trina is, but a cold knot of something that feels like jealousy tightens behind my ribs.
“Okay,” Sadie laughs. “Let’s try that again. Cassie, sit your little butt down and stay out of the way.”
Sadie ruffles her daughter’s hair to take the edge off her words. Cassie giggles, trying to catch her mother’s hands.
“I’ve got stronger magic than you,” she says to Sadie, sticking out her tongue.
“There you go again,” Sadie sighs woefully. “Rubbing it in my face.”
Cassie giggles harder, reaching out to her mom again, and the two of them end up in a brief tickle fight.
“Don’t worry,” Trina says. “You’re both a lot better at this than me, so there doesn’t have to be any competition here.”
“Aw, you’ll get there, Auntie Trina,” Cassie says, hurrying over to hug Trina. “I believe in you!”
“Thanks, kiddo,” Trina replies, wrapping her arms around the little girl and snuggling her to her chest. The warm smile that breaks across Trina’s face seems to make everything around her brighter, and time almost stops as I watch the sunlight flickering over her, the gentle breeze lifting her hair into drifting waves.
I wish I could make her smile like that.
“Okay, let’s do this,” Sadie says, clapping her hands. Cassie moves out of the way and Trina squares her shoulders, facing up to Sadie.
“Just like we did before,” Sadie says, holding out her hands with her palms facing Trina. “Tell me what you feel.”
Trina raises her hands and puts her palms up, almost but not quite touching Sadie’s. Sadie closes her eyes, and I feel something—a ripple of magnetism that makes my hair stand on end. I see Trina straighten up and look around, then back at her hands.
“I felt something,” Trina says. “But it came from you. Absolutely nothing came from me.”
“You didn’t feel anything?” Sadie asks, disappointed. “Did your fingers tingle, or feel warm? Did you have a sense of clarity in your mind?”
“No, and no,” Trina says, shaking her head.
“It’s okay,” Cassie says, jumping between them and grabbing Trina’s hands. “There’s magic in you. I can tell!”
She bounces up and down, and Trina gets up to dance with her. I watch her laugh and spin around with Cassie until they fall into a breathless heap, both of them gasping and giggling. The cold knot behind my ribs tightens even further, and an emotion I can’t identify rises in my throat.
I’ve never seen her so happy.
I feel like an asshole for taking that away from her, and it’s only seeing the dramatic shift from what she looked like with me this morning compared to how she looks now that has made it clear to me.
When she gets up from the grass and walks back over to Sadie, I’m almost mesmerized by the sight of her, and I don’t know if it’s the bright sunlight or Trina’s dazzling smile that’s making my eyes hurt.
Heat rises inside me, and it quickly overcomes any other emotions. Even though I’ve been captivated by her beauty since the night I took her from her home, suddenly I’m seeing more than just her looks, as if I’m staring into the warmth of her soul. As if up until now, she’s been hiding it from me.
Suddenly, I hear a footstep behind me, and I whirl around with my fists up, my heart pounding crazily in my throat.
“Whoa, there, big fella,” Rhys says. “We come in peace.”
“Rhys?” I ask. “Shane? What are you guys doing here?”
“I came to check in with Sadie,” Rhys answers. “And Shane was just tagging along so we could go pick up his car.”
“It didn’t break down again, did it?” I ask, laughing.
“It did,” Rhys said. “I wish there were an organization I could call. The poor thing is dying of neglect.”
“I’m not a car guy, okay?” Shane grumbles. “We aren’t all savvy like you.”
“Most of us still know to put coolant in it,” I say, giving him a light punch on the shoulder.
“So, how’s it going?” Rhys asks, nodding towards the clearing.
“Oh, I have no idea,” I say. “I only just got here, and I don’t know anything about magic.”
“Neither do I, really,” Rhys says. “I’m not sure how any of this is meant to work, but I hope for the sake of your pack, Trina feels some kind of change today.”
“Hey!”
Cassie charges towards us, leaping into her dad’s arms. Rhys catches her easily and spins around, making an exaggerated roar.
“Got you!” he yells.
“No, I got you!” she squeals.
“How did you know we were here?” Rhys asks.
“I sniffed you,” she says, seriously. “And heard you.”
Hearing those words coming from a child disturbs me greatly, because I felt nothing until my buddies were right on top of me.
Another reminder of how weak I’ve become.
I look up towards Sadie and Trina, and I’m shocked to see the change in Trina. The sunlight doesn’t seem to touch her now, and it’s as if a dark cloud has covered her face. She’s looking at me warily, as if her fight-or-flight reflex has been triggered and she’s frozen between the two instincts.
“I can’t do anything right,” I mutter.
Rhys hears my remark and carefully puts Cassie down. She bolts across the clearing back to her mom.
“I noticed the change, too,” Rhys says, clapping a hand on to my shoulder. “Trina clearly isn’t happy to see you, but with good reason.”
“What?” I blurt. “Why?”
“Do you really have to ask?” Rhys shakes his head. “She’s always been independent and solitary, according to Sadie. She likes to take care of herself. So, what you did… it really hurt her.”
“Oh,” I mutter, Rhys’s words hitting the mixed feelings I was already having and leaving only guilt behind.
As we cross the field, I try to sit with the guilt instead of making excuses to drive it away. Trina avoids talking to me, but as the group breaks up, we go in separate directions, and I can see Trina trying to get out of going home with me.
“Hey,” I say to her. “Can I take you out for dinner?”
Trina looks at me with just an edge of panic in her gaze. Sadie gives her a little elbow nudge.
“Okay,” Trina says.
It dawns on me that Sadie might actually be on my side, and a powerful rush of gratitude floods through me.
The group breaks up, and even though the ride in the car with Trina is silent, it doesn’t feel as awkward as it did before.
I take her to a little food truck that is usually parked in a tourist spot.
We order wraps and fries, then go and sit in the park.
A small flock of birds immediately gathers.
Trina brightens up, tossing crumbs to them.
“This is really nice,” she says. “Thank you.”
“Thank you for coming,” I say. “I wasn’t sure you would.”
Her eyes slide away from mine, and I can tell she’s caught between her resentment of me and a desire to make things better between us.
“It’s okay,” I say quickly. “I’m not expecting anything from you—you don’t owe me anything. I guess I’d just like to say sorry, and I hope we can talk about this more comfortably from now on.”
She smiles gently, and it lights her eyes with hints of emerald and sapphire. A genuine warmth seems to radiate from her, soothing some of the tension in my chest.
“Thank you,” she says. “I appreciate that… a lot.”
“Okay,” I reply.
She holds my gaze a little longer, then looks away, her cheeks flushed with a hint of pink. In that moment, the connection between us is undeniable, and I know that underneath it all, she has some feelings of warmth for me.
And now, I completely understand how little I deserve it.
I try to keep smiling and hold on to the moment, but guilt rises in my guts, a sickening wave of remorse that forces me to turn my eyes away from hers in shame.