Chapter 11 - Owen
The faint, far-off sound of my phone buzzing cuts through the comforting darkness. All I can feel is the soft, warm cocoon around me, a place of serenity and calm I never want to wake from.
Even though the buzzing of my phone is very faint, I can’t ignore it.
Eventually, I open my eyes, looking around the dim living room with some surprise.
That’s when I realize the softness around me is Trina in my arms, cuddled against my chest, and the two of us are wrapped together in the thick couch cushions.
I’m so amazed that I can barely breathe, and everything that occurred between us last night comes back to me in a rush that makes my head spin. The last thing I want to do is disturb her, but I can tell from the way my phone is buzzing that something urgent is going down, and I can’t ignore it.
Carefully, I untangle myself from Trina’s embrace, leaving her curled up among the cushions as I fumble around on the floor for my phone. I look down at her with regret before I pick up my phone, flick it open, and hurry down the hall.
Missed calls and texts have piled up, with increasing frequency over the last hour.
Late last night, the infirmary took on a sudden influx of patients, and now the place is almost overflowing with new cases.
Guilt settles in my stomach like a heavy, cold stone as I realize my people were in need while I was fooling around with Trina.
But connecting with her is the right thing to do, isn’t it? Our bond will break the curse, so spending time with her is worth it… right?
It sounds too much like an excuse, and it makes me feel even worse for neglecting my people. I hurry down the hall and freshen myself up, jogging out the back door and heading for the infirmary as quickly as I can.
Dawn is just breaking as I arrive, and my heart twists in my chest when I see a small group of people standing by the side doors, waiting to get in. One of the men is holding someone in his arms, and I can’t tell if the person is alive or dead.
“Can I help?” I ask, hurrying towards them.
“Alpha Jameson,” the man replies. “I’m surprised to see you in person. We’re waiting for a place in the infirmary—my daughter fell ill last night.”
“I must apologize,” I say. “For not being here sooner. Let me find you a bed, right now.”
I stride into the warehouse, seeing it’s now full of people, where the day before we only had need of a few beds. The nurses and other carers look so relieved to see me, it makes another hard lump of guilt form in my chest.
Don’t worry about that now. Just get a move on and help these people.
Under my orders, we triage patients and set up chairs for the waiting area.
Seeing that the job is beyond our resources, I call in help from other packs.
Shane and Rhys send some of their best healers and laborers, who bring in equipment and help us to set up more beds.
By the time the sun has fully risen, the warehouse has been transformed into a fully functioning field hospital.
Satisfied that we now have the resources we need, I take my time going around and helping treat our patients, offering what hope I can. My helplessness and guilt continue to grow in my chest, almost choking me, but it only makes me more determined to make a difference.
I’m between two aisles, walking down to the lower end of the infirmary, when Merle, one of our nurses, steps into my path.
“Owen, you’ve been on your feet nonstop for almost six hours now.”
“And?” I ask, trying to get around her. She steps firmly back into my path.
“You need a break. You won’t do us any good if you drop, too.”
“I won’t. I’m fine, I promise.”
“No, you aren’t. I can tell, even if you want to deny it. Go home and rest, just for a little while. I appreciate everything you’ve done this morning—it was chaos until you got here—but please, take a break. We need you at your best.”
A faint tingle of discomfort flickers through me. My guilt is very real, but I’m also a little anxious to see Trina.
I don’t know how she’s going to react to what happened last night. We have to talk about it, though, and the situation won’t get better by ignoring it.
I’m also extremely aware of how the events of last night affected me, and I’m not sure I’ll be able to carry on a sensible conversation with her standing in front of me.
Now that I know she tastes as good as she smells…
“Okay,” I reply, sighing. “I’ll go home for a little while. Message me if you need me.”
“We will,” Merle says. “Thank you, Owen. You’ve really helped out today, and so many people were pleased to see you. It’s spread hope through the pack.”
I nod to her as I walk away, keeping my teeth together so I don’t start screaming.
I did nothing—nothing at all! They are still dying. All I did was show up and watch it happen.
Even though I’m almost dead on my feet, I break into a jog as I leave the infirmary, pushing my body just to feel my heart beating and blood pumping through my veins. It disturbs me when my body doesn’t respond the way it should, and I still feel cold and sluggish when I get home.
What happens if I get sick—really sick? I wouldn’t be able to help anyone, and we’ll all die.
I push the thought away, going inside and focusing on my next challenge instead. I call out to Trina as I come through the back door, but I don’t hear her respond, and my stomach does a little flip.
Did she run away again?
I move quickly through the house, and even though I don’t find her, it doesn’t appear that she’s run off, either. All her things are still where she left them, and there’s no sign of a hasty exit.
I walk slowly to the back door, following the flowery scent of her. As I cross the yard, her scent gets harder to track, but I manage to hold on to it as I weave through the trees. At first, it seems to lead back to the infirmary, but then it changes course and leads me deep into the woods.
Was she at the hospital this morning? Why didn’t I see her there, if she was?
Curious now, I pick up my pace and follow the thread, finally seeing Trina in a small clearing up ahead. I approach slowly, not wanting to disturb her.
Confusion overtakes curiosity, and I keep watching her for a few minutes to see if I can figure out what she’s doing.
I can hear her whispering under her breath, but not the words themselves, and she keeps making strange motions with her hands, occasionally reaching out and touching the grass in front of her knees.
She’s trying to call up her magic! I realize with a jolt. It’s the same thing I saw when Sadie was trying to teach her.
Trina’s hand motions get more emphatic, and her whispering becomes harsh. Finally, she lets out a sharp cry of frustration and covers her face with her hands as if she’s trying not to cry.
I cross the field as quickly as I can, kneeling down in front of her as I reach for her hands.
“Hey, Trina, it’s okay,” I say gently.
She looks up at me, her eyes wide and shimmering. “Owen? What are you doing here?”
“I saw you weren’t home, and I was able to track you. What are you doing here?”
“Oh,” she says. “I’m just going through those exercises again, the ones Sadie taught me. It’s not going very well.”
Sympathy blooms in my chest when I see how upset she is, and how hard she’s trying. I desperately want to comfort her, so I reach out to take her hands. She sniffs a little, tensing up, but she doesn’t pull away.
“I really appreciate you trying,” I say. “But it looks like you don’t have any witch blood.”
“Oh, you think?” she scoffs, rubbing a tear off her cheek. “I’ve never felt as ordinary or useless as I do right now.”
“You aren’t useless,” I say, the warmth in my chest turning into pain. “We’ll figure something out.”
“But what?” she says, looking up at me miserably. “What can we possibly do to help your people?”
A strange feeling rises in me then, and I remember how she said the second we had a cure, she would leave.
I don’t know if she’s out here to help us… or herself.
When I look back up into her beautiful, sea-green eyes, I can’t believe she’d ever do something so selfish. But I also have to admit I don’t want to trap her in a situation with me, either.
Big words from the guy who literally kidnapped her. But I do regret that, especially since it hasn’t helped anyone.
“Okay,” I sigh. “I noticed while I was walking up here that you had your hands slightly wrong, and I think, in the incantation, your emphasis was a little off.”
“How do you know?” she asks.
I shrug. “I just caught it the other day, when I was watching you with Sadie. I’ve also seen Sadie in action a few times. Her magic is awesome.”
“Yeah,” Trina says. “She is.”
I want to tell her that she is, too, but I don’t want to sound patronizing, so I don’t say it.
“Okay,” I say. “Hands up, like this. Then repeat the incantation with an emphasis on the third syllable.”
At first, Trina resists, but after a few minutes, she relaxes, and we settle into a flow. It doesn’t feel like magic, but there is a definite harmony around us, and I think we could be making progress until Trina growls and throws her hands up in the air.
“I can’t feel anything!” she exclaims. “Nothing at all! This is useless.”
She pulls away from me a little, and I can see her holding back tears as she wipes her cheeks again. A light breeze stirs her honey-blond hair, teasing it around her face into a golden halo. With the unshed tears shining in her eyes, her gaze is deeper and even more captivating than usual.
You are magic. I don’t care what you think. You look like pure charm to me.
“Well…” I begin. “We haven’t really gone all the way in other areas. I’m just saying.”
The moment the words come out of my mouth, I feel like a complete idiot. I truly intended to make an objective point, but I’ve ended up sounding as clumsy as a high school kid hitting on his crush.
Did I really just say “go all the way”? Smooth work, Owen.
“What?” she says, very softly.
I shake my head, searching my mind desperately for words, but my mind is completely blank. All the sensations from last night come rushing back to me, and suddenly my body is rock-hard, and my heart starts beating harder and faster.
Even while I was caring for the sick people this morning, the taste of her on my lips never left me. I couldn’t forget the feel of her in my arms, and how desperately I need her—
“Owen,” she says. “What do you mean?”
“Sex,” I answer, feeling even more inept that this was the first word I could find in my tangle of thoughts. “I’m sorry,” I say quickly. “I didn’t mean for it to come out like that. But I did say that Sadie’s powers didn’t fully manifest until—”
Trina groans, shaking her head and looking away from me. “Owen, I’m really not thinking straight. I can’t do this right now.”
My frustration spikes, but I bite my tongue, trying to think of something rational and comforting to say.
“I’m just trying to help the pack—to help both of us,” I say. Even though I mean it, the words sound hollow and overly persuasive.
She chuckles softly, which I take to be a very good sign, and I resolve to just keep my mouth shut for a while. Even though I made the statement with the best of intentions, I can’t deny my true feelings anymore.
I want her. Desperately. She is irresistible to me… and I don’t know how long I can fight this.