Forced Bullied Mate (Silver Falls Wolves #3)

Prologue - Liv

School had let out an hour ago, and I was still in the hall, bouncing from foot to foot as I both tried to convince myself to not do what I was planning on doing and convince myself to go through with it.

No. I had made up my mind. For once in my life, I was going to take a gamble.

I was about to do the bravest thing I had ever done, and I was absolutely petrified and buzzing with adrenaline at the same time. I gnawed the inside of my cheek as I glanced all around, mulling over the situation. Maybe this was a mistake. Maybe I should turn around and run for the hills.

My shirt rode up, and I tugged it down self-consciously, heat flickering up my face. As I did, I caught a glimpse of my reflection. I was overweight, and part of me loathed the sight of myself in the mirror. Even now. I was chubby, my hair looked a mess, and my face looked too round.

I snarled and ran my fingers through my hair.

This was stupid. I couldn’t believe I was even considering it.

There was no way he was going to be interested in me.

I mean, look at me. Who would be? That wasn’t including the fact that I couldn’t shift.

Not everyone in the pack could, of course, but that didn’t change the fact that it was another tick against me.

There were a dozen different reasons why he wouldn’t want anything to do with me.

Except, despite that, I couldn’t help but keep hoping. It wasn’t anything concrete, more that I knew what he was to me, and, if he felt it, too, then we were meant to be together in the first place. Surely that would mean he would like me regardless.

I needed to run. I should run.

No. I had been running from this for too long. I had been running from everything for too long. I was tired of it, and I wasn’t going to let that fear stop me this time. If I didn’t do something about it now, I would regret it for the rest of my life.

I took a deep breath and pushed the door open that led to a clump of picnic tables.

A group of high schoolers, in my year and the one above, lounged together, laughing, having a good time.

I had always wanted to be a part of those groups, had always wanted to feel included and on the inside.

I had never been invited. Hell, most of the people in this group made fun of me at least once a week.

I wouldn’t be walking anywhere near them, were it not for one singular person.

At the edge of the cluster, stern and unsmiling as he listened to the rest of the group, sat Drake. His lips were a thin, almost surly line as he watched. The sun shone down on his dark hair, making it gleam.

A lump formed in my throat, and my heart thundered. My feet seemed rooted to the spot.

The way they always did, his green eyes seemed to find me without him trying, as if he always knew where I was. The air rushed out of my lungs as I looked at him.

If the rest of the group saw me, they would immediately start picking on me. And if that happened, Drake would join in.

But if I could get him on his own, he changed. He was gentler, softer. He was still surly, but that was part of his charm.

He glanced over to the rest of his group, then back to me.

He raised an eyebrow, but didn’t say anything as I crept closer, trying not to draw too much attention to myself.

He remained quiet as he watched me creep toward him, waiting until I was next to him.

His scent—campfire smoke and leather—drifted toward me, making my wolf stir with interest as my heart pounded.

He broke away, hands in pockets, and came to meet me. He waited for me to speak.

“Drake, I was hoping I could talk to you,” I muttered.

Once more, he twisted to look over at his group. They still hadn’t noticed me. I waited, wondering if he could hear my heart jackhammering. I didn’t know what I would do if he said no, or if he summoned his friends over.

When his friends still didn’t register that they had an intruder in their midst, Drake turned back to me and nodded.

He jerked his head back to the school. Hands trembling, my entire body all but quivering with adrenaline and terror, I followed, knowing that I was about to take a massive gamble on someone who didn’t want his friends to know he was talking with me.

He walked around the side of the building to an isolated corner, the type of place where couples would sneak off to during class to hook up. I tried my best not to read into that. When we stopped, he raised his eyebrows, glancing around to look for anyone else.

“What’s up?” he said, leaning against the wall.

The words stuck in my throat, unease still rippling off me. If someone walked around the corner, the conversation would halt. He’d either go quiet or start in with whatever cruel joke they wanted to play on me.

But when it was just the two of us, he was often kind and gentle.

Once, when it had been pouring rain, and I had left my umbrella and rain jacket at home, I had lurked at the door, trying to figure out a way to get home without getting sopping wet.

As I was trying to figure out a plan, Drake had strolled by.

He took one look at me and held out his umbrella.

“Here,” he grunted. “I don’t have that far to walk.”

“I couldn’t—” I tried to say, but before I could protest properly, he had shoved it into my hand, his fingers brushing against mine for just the briefest of moments before strolling out the door without another word. I watched as he walked, hunched over, through the pouring rain.

The next day, I left the umbrella dangling from his locker, the string tied to the handle.

I wanted to ask him why he had done it, but the next time I saw him, he was surrounded by his friends, and no matter how nice or gentle he was when it was just the two of us, he changed the second we were in public.

But he was alone now, and if he was ever going to listen to what I had to say, then it would be now. My palms had suddenly gone slick with sweat.

I opened my mouth to tell him the truth, but the words lodged in my throat as I chickened out.

“I wanted to thank you for letting me use your umbrella last week,” I finally said.

He blinked, raising his eyebrows.

“It was really nice of you.”

He shrugged. “It’s an umbrella. It’s not that big of a deal.”

“Well, um, thanks, anyway.” I bobbed from foot to foot as heat continued building across my face.

He studied me, his eyes seeming to dig into me, looking at me in a way no one else ever had. Beneath that grumpy demeanor, there was a shrewd intelligence that was currently scrutinizing me.

“Is that really the reason you wanted to talk to me, Liv?” he asked.

Hearing my name on his lips made my heart flutter and stomach lurch. It just sounded so perfect, so right.

“No,” I muttered.

He took a step closer, close enough that he could reach out and touch me if he wanted, though his hands remained in his pockets. I could barely breathe.

“Then what is it?” he asked, his voice low, even more enticing than normal.

I hesitated, my heart thundering so loudly in my chest that I knew he must hear it. But still, he waited for me to speak, giving me the chance to breathe and say whatever it was I needed to get out.

It was now or never. I needed to tell him before it was too late, before I lost my nerve.

This is a horrible idea, a voice in my head said in one final warning. Tell him never mind and walk away before he can hurt you. This can only end badly.

I couldn’t walk away, though, not until I tried. Even if it hurt, I had to know.

“I think we’re mates,” I blurted out.

The words hung in the air between us, seeming to hover there, looming like fog. I held my breath, all my attention locked on Drake as I waited for his response.

His response wasn’t what I had hoped for. Drake blinked, not bothering to hide his surprise. “What?”

“I know it sounds weird,” I babbled, heat spreading up my face. “And that it’s probably a lot for me to say, but I’ve been thinking about it for a while, and I can’t shake the feeling. Somehow, I just know it’s true.” I trailed off, unsure what else there was to say about it.

Drake remained silent. He glanced around, looking behind him, as if for his friends, then back to me.

“Liv, you have to know that true mates are a fairy tale,” he said. “They don’t exist. They’re for hopeless romantics. They don’t actually happen.”

He spoke gently but firmly, the words perfectly crisp and clear. Despite that, I couldn’t believe I had heard him correctly. Everything seemed to sink around me as they washed over me. My chest constricted as I stared at him. Out of everything I could have imagined, this was the worst response.

“You can’t actually believe that, though, right?” I said with a half-laugh.

“I do,” he said. “Sure, some mates work out, but that doesn’t make them fated or whatever. It just means they were smarter about picking their mates than other shifters. That’s all.”

My mouth had parted slightly as he continued speaking. The words didn’t make any sense. I had never met anyone who openly admitted they didn’t believe in fated mates.

“Some people might not find their true mate in their life and mate with someone else, but that doesn’t mean they don’t exist,” I said.

Drake shrugged. “I think it’s a thing people tell themselves because they want to believe it,” he grunted.

“It gives their relationship more meaning. But that’s all.

People wanting something to be true doesn’t make it so.

” He gave me a pointed look, one that said, quite plainly, that he was talking about my thinking we were mates as much as the general concept.

“You’re telling me you don’t feel anything,” I said. “Between the two of us.”

He shrugged again, glancing away. I waited, hoping against hope. I could have sworn I saw a flicker of…something dance across his face. Whether that was doubt, guilt, or resolve, I couldn’t tell.

After a long, agonizing moment, he turned back to me.

“I don’t,” he said, and that last tiny bit of hope shredded into a million pieces.

For a moment, I didn’t know how to respond. Everything felt too surreal, as if out of a bad dream. I had told myself to expect disappointment; I had warned myself to walk away before I made this leap. I had told myself I needed to know the truth.

Now, I wished I had listened to myself when I wanted to run. I felt like he had taken my heart and ripped it in two. I coughed, trying to bite back the tears, not wanting to cry while Drake was looking at me like this, like I was a silly child, na?ve and stupid.

“Liv, you’ve seen how I treat you,” he said. “I make fun of you all the time. You can’t actually think I’m your mate after all that.”

“I’ve seen the softer side of you as well,” I countered.

“I know there’s more to you than you let on, and I know you don’t hate me as much as you let on.

You can’t, not with how you treat me in private.

I’m not just talking about the umbrella, either.

There was the time you told me to walk a certain way home to avoid some bullies.

There was the time you found me in the library and helped with that essay I’d been working on.

Whenever it’s just us, you’re different. ”

Drake blinked. I wasn’t sure if I imagined it or not, but I might have seen the faintest flicker of surprise, as if he hadn’t expected me to notice those few moments.

For a half-second, he looked uncertain, and hope jumped again in my chest like a wild rabbit.

My wolf stirred, all her attention locked on the shifter she knew was her mate.

Even though he refused to accept it, even though he disagreed, she was certain.

Please just admit you’re wrong, I thought desperately.

He took a step forward, not quite within arm’s reach.

“Liv, I’m going to tell you this, so I hope you understand,” he said, that tone still so gentle. “I’m not your mate, and I’m never going to be your mate. Fated mates don’t exist. And the sooner you accept that, the better.”

Those words pierced through those final rays of hope that I had been desperately clutching to. My insides turned cold, and all I wanted was to be far, far away from here.

“Right,” I muttered, taking several steps back from him. “Okay, then. Well, thanks for talking to me. I’ll see you later.”

Once again, I caught the flicker of something in his gaze, as if he was debating whether to change his mind as I took several steps back.

I paused, giving him one last chance to tell me to wait.

When he didn’t, I turned and walked away, keeping my back straight.

I could feel him staring after me. I listened on the off-chance that he would call me back, tell me he was wrong.

He didn’t. I walked away in silence.

I at least managed to wait until he was out of view before breaking down. I could barely breathe as I leaned back against the wall, staring after where he had vanished, my mind spinning as everything seemed to crumble around me.

I closed my eyes. How could I have been so stupid? Of course, he wouldn’t want to be with me. I should never have said anything to begin with. I should have just let it be.

Would that have been any better, though? At least this way I knew where he stood. I wasn’t going to sit around pining for him, waiting for him to act first. I had taken a risk, and it had shattered my heart.

Still, even as I thought this, a kernel of certainty buried itself deep inside me. No matter what Drake said, I knew the truth. I knew we were mates.

We were mates, and we would never be together.