Chapter 3 - Liv
The last time I had been this close to Drake, he had told me there was no way we were mates.
Now, he was standing in my apartment while I was trying to flee from the thing I had told him was true all those years ago.
I’d had everything planned. I was going to finish packing within the hour, then hop in the car and drive off.
I’d send a text explaining what had happened to Rachel and Jessie, and apologize to Amelia for running off without warning.
Then I would drive as long as I could until I was too exhausted to continue, sleep in my car, then keep driving the next day until I was certain I had put enough distance between myself and Silver Falls.
I’d find a new pack—if they would accept me—and I could start over.
I had it all planned out. It was going to be perfect.
I hadn’t expected Drake to come to my apartment and try to talk to me.
After years of avoiding him, after years of us not speaking, here he was in front of me. Back then, I would have traded nearly anything to have this moment, to have him this close and in my bedroom. Now, I wanted nothing more than for him to leave.
My heart thundered. This close, I could smell the faint scent of burning campfire—his scent.
It would take almost no effort at all to reach out and run my hands along his chest. If I took even a half-step forward, I would be pressing against him.
That overwhelming pull that I had always felt toward him surged up, threatening to drown me.
I wanted him. I desperately, desperately wanted him. I wanted him to slam me against the wall and press his lips to mine. I wanted—
No. I wasn’t going down that road. I had made a promise to myself years ago that I would never so much as think about doing anything like that with Drake. But here, in my apartment, it was impossible for my mind not to wander down that path.
Or, it would have been, were it not for the fact that he was seconds away from figuring out what I was really doing.
He looked at the suitcase, his expression even more dour than normal. I couldn’t tear my gaze away from him even if I had wanted to.
“Are you trying to run?”
There was no anger there, more genuine surprise and curiosity. That was probably why I nodded, too off-balance to lie again. My fingers still burned from where he had touched them.
“Why?” he asked.
“I would have thought that bit was obvious,” I said.
He shook his head in frustration. “You can’t just up and leave,” he growled.
I shrugged. “Why not? It would make both of our lives easier. You’d be happier.”
He took a step back as if he’d been slapped. It was as though he hadn’t admitted that fact to himself yet.
“We have a duty to the pack,” he said.
“My duty doesn’t involve being tied to someone who wants nothing to do with me,” I said.
“That’s not true,” he growled.
What wasn’t true: the bit about my duty, or the bit where he wanted nothing to do with me?
“Drake, we both know this won’t work, not after everything,” I said. “Just let me leave, and we can pretend none of this happened.”
He considered me for a long moment, confusion rippling in his eyes as he studied me.
I felt pinned in place, my chest tightening.
He had to understand. He had to see what a horrible mistake the Oracle had made.
If I could just convince him to let me go, to drop this whole stupid thing, we’d both be better off. We’d both be happier.
He nodded at the clothes. “Go ahead and finish packing,” he said.
I blinked. “What? I’m sorry. I thought five minutes ago, you—”
“You’re coming to stay with me until the ceremony,” he said. “I’m not letting you run off.”
My mouth dropped open. “I’m sorry?” I scoffed.
He gestured at the suitcase and the clothes. “You’re clearly a flight risk. If you come stay with me, it will be a lot harder for you to back out.”
The words didn’t register at first, because he couldn’t actually be saying what I thought he was saying. But then I saw his expression and realized he was serious.
“You have got to be kidding,” I snarled, genuine anger flaring white-hot inside me. “There’s no way in hell I’m doing that.”
He blinked as if surprised by the outburst, then shrugged. “I’m not giving you a choice. I’m not letting you run.”
I bit back a scream. I rarely get this angry anymore, let alone show it. But Drake had managed what I had assumed was impossible. I glowered at him.
“Why?” I snapped. None of this made sense.
He should be thrilled I wanted to leave.
It would mean he didn’t have to deal with me; he wouldn’t have to be my mate.
I still couldn’t understand why he had come over here in the first place.
I had expected him to more or less sulk and remain surly until the Oracle dragged the two of us together and ensured the mating ceremony took place. Why the hell had he come over?
“Because I’m not,” he growled. “Do I need more of a reason than that? You’re going to be my mate.
I have a responsibility toward you and the pack.
Letting you run off and avoid what we both know is going to happen is just going to make everything more complicated.
I don’t get why you’re being so obstinate. ”
A few years ago, you told me it would never happen, I thought, my heart thundering.
You told me that just because you were nice to me, it didn’t mean that anything would never happen between us.
You broke my heart. I had to pick up the pieces.
It took me years to get over you and learn to love myself.
Why do you think I’m being so obstinate?
I wanted to scream it at him, to make him understand. Except I was fairly certain I could tell him a hundred times in a hundred different ways, and he still wouldn’t get it.
More importantly, now that he knew my plan, there was no way he would let me go through with it. I could go halfway across the world, and he would find me. I had lost my chance to evade my fate the second he barged into my apartment.
In another life, the thought of Drake caring enough to chase me down no matter where I went might have made my stomach flutter. But that was another me, another world.
Despite my own misgivings, I could feel my wolf—still there, despite the fact that I couldn’t shift—and her excitement.
She might have been angry at him for how he’d treated us, but that didn’t stop how drawn she was to Drake, that need and want for him overriding everything else.
Her mate was in reach, and she didn’t want to let him go.
That pull from my wolf and the knowledge that he would follow me no matter how hard I tried to run made me cave. I threw up my hands.
“Fine,” I snarled. “Fine!”
He gave a brusque nod, not showing any sort of emotion at his victory—not triumph, not satisfaction, not guilt, not happiness, not disappointment. It was the way he had always been. Always would be, probably.
And we’re about to be mates, I thought. I’m going to be living with that grumpy, surly demeanor for the rest of my life.
For whatever reason, the thought didn’t repulse me as much as I would have thought. It was a part of him, the same way his hair was dark.
He jerked his head toward the suitcase. “Do you want help packing?” he asked.
I wasn’t sure if he was offering because he felt sorry for forcing me into this position or because he thought I might bolt if I had the chance. It didn’t matter, not really.
“I’m fine,” I said, taking the shirt still gripped in his hand and folding it. I turned my back on him as I kept throwing things in.
***
“Wow,” Jessie said. “The Oracle just sprung this on you?”
I nodded, glancing down at the table, the pattern of the sun on the metal design. The three of us—Rachel, myself, and Jessie, who had been my friend for years now—all sat outside our favorite café as we waited for lunch.
“Are you happy?” Rachel asked after a moment.
“It’s weird, you know?” I said. “I don’t know how to feel, but I’m sure it’ll work out.”
I had given them an abbreviated version of what had happened, not going into the fact that I had tried to run or hated the idea of all of this. I wasn’t going to bring that negativity to the conversation, and admitting it would bring up all sorts of complicated conversations about why.
“When is the ceremony?” Rachel asked. “We can go dress shopping if you want.”
I shook my head, waving it away. “I have a dress,” I said. “It’s Thursday, but it’s not going to be anything big. It’s just going to be us and the elders and Oracle. We both wanted something private.”
It wasn’t entirely true. I hadn’t even asked Drake about the size, though I couldn’t imagine he would oppose something small and quiet, considering him.
In my dream mating ceremony, there would have been a huge party after, where everyone could have a great time and enjoy themselves well into the night.
I had always pictured myself in an elegant dress, surrounded by everyone I loved and cared about.
I had expected myself to be ecstatic that I was getting to spend the rest of my life with my mate.
Given the circumstances, though, none of that really spoke to me. I didn’t want people there. I wanted it over with as quickly as possible.
Unfortunately, Rachel and Jessie were my best friends for a reason, and neither of them seemed particularly convinced by my abbreviated, half-baked explanations.
“Why did Drake want you to stay with him before the ceremony?” Rachel asked.
I didn’t answer at first as I tried to figure out what to tell them, because I wasn’t about to admit the truth that I had tried to run away.
That would open up a whole can of worms I didn’t want to delve into.
I had never told anyone about what had happened between me and Drake, Jessie and Rachel included.
I hadn’t wanted to admit how badly I’d been hurt.
I hadn’t wanted to dwell on it, either. I still didn’t. Dwelling did no one any good.
“I think he just wanted us to get used to one another,” I lied. “It’s been a while since we really spoke, and this was sprung on both of us. So the more we get used to one another, the easier it will be.”
Jessie frowned as she looked at me. “Are you sure you’re okay, Liv?” she asked, then lowered her voice. “I can’t imagine this is easy for you.”
I nearly burst into laughter. Jessie didn’t know the half of it. It certainly wasn’t easy. She just didn’t realize how true that was.
“I’m fine,” I said, waving my hand dismissively. That insistent need to always at least pretend to be happy persisted even with my friends. It had been a mantra my mother had repeated over and over.
“Are you sure?” she asked. “Because it’s a weird situation.”
Jessie and I had become friends later in high school, but she was so intuitive and clever that she could just pick up on those subtleties without my saying anything.
I shrugged. “Sure, it’s not ideal, and it’s a bit awkward. But I’m sure something good will come out of it! I mean, look at it this way. If it really does help with the fight against the wraith, then that will make it all worthwhile.”
She tilted her head, still studying me. I tried to keep the smile on my face, but the problem was that Jessie knew me too well.
“It’s okay if you’re unhappy about the situation, you know,” she said. “We aren’t going to judge you.”
Rachel nodded, bouncing Isaac on her knee. “I know what it’s like to have that sprung on you,” she said. “I definitely wasn’t entirely on board when I first heard the news.”
Part of me wanted to admit how shaken the whole thing had made me, but I flapped my hand. “It’s fine,” I said. “I’m going to find the silver lining in this. It might just take me a while.”
I meant it, too. Over the years, I had managed to deal with things by finding those nuggets of good in bad situations.
Take, for example, the situation with Drake.
I’d learned what kind of person he was and that I needed to love myself.
I’d learned to look on the bright side of things because of it, too.
It had taken a while for me to do, but I did eventually, and I’d been better off because of it.
Whatever the bright side of this situation with Drake was, it might not be immediately obvious, but I was sure there had to be one there. I had to be sure, because that was the only way I knew I would get through it.
Rachel and Jessie exchanged dubious glances, as if neither of them fully believed me.
“If you ever want to talk about it, though, we’re here for you,” Jessie said, and Rachel nodded.
I kept the smile. “Nothing to talk about! It’ll all work out in the end.”
I was sure it would, because it had to. Thinking otherwise was only going to bring me down and make things worse.
Now that we were in the same house, I had started trying to avoid Drake as much as possible.
It wasn’t easy. I could smell his scent throughout the house, making it impossible to forget what was about to happen in a few days.
It also made it impossible to forget that I was still attracted to him.
I still wanted him. Whenever we were in the same room, I was constantly aware of everything he did, his every motion.
I hated him. I didn’t want anything to do with him.
And yet, the sight of him still drove my wolf wild.
My mind went back to that moment in my apartment when Drake’s fingers had brushed against mine. I wondered what would have happened if I had cleared that gap between us.
I gritted my teeth and pushed the thoughts away. It didn’t mean anything. Nothing would have happened besides an awkward shuffling as both of us retreated. There was nothing between us.
Thankfully, our waiter picked that moment to come out with our food, and I carefully tucked away the uncomfortable conversation before Jessie or Rachel could prod further.