Chapter 21 - Liv
I bit my lip so hard that I was surprised I didn’t break the skin as I hunched over the notes Emma, Rachel, and I had scribbled together. We had a plan of sorts. But it didn’t feel like enough.
“The important thing is getting near the spring and giving us enough time there to figure out what’s going on,” Emma said.
“We should leave the spring to you,” Rachel chimed in. “Considering you’re the one with an affinity toward water. Do you think you can restart it?”
“I hope so.” Emma bit her lip. “It’s not as though I’ve tried it before, but if it’s similar to what was going on with that riverbed, then it shouldn’t be too difficult. You think you’ll be able to keep the wraith at bay?”
Rachel nodded. “The second it comes close, I can blast it with fire. It’ll stay away, assuming it doesn’t want to turn to glass.”
I stayed silent, looking at the chicken-scratch handwriting on the pages in front of us.
We had what one might consider a plan. Except it mostly involved me sitting on the sidelines being useless.
I had nothing to contribute. I was too inexperienced with my powers.
Even then, it wasn’t as though making lamps fly around a cavern was going to do any of us any good.
Rachel raised her eyebrow, knowing me as well as she always had. I swore that sometimes she could read my mind, or near enough. She stared me down.
“You’re not useless here, Liv,” Rachel said.
I raised my eyebrows. “I barely understand my powers right now,” I said.
“And you both have tangible things that make you useful. Elemental powers give you a distinct purpose. You know what you can do. Right now? I can just make things fly around rooms without much control. That doesn’t exactly feel useful to me, not considering what we’re up against.”
“That’s just silly,” Rachel said. “And it’s not like you to be pessimistic. The more of us there are, the better.”
“You know, it’s funny you talk about elemental bits,” Emma said as she studied me.
“Because I’ve been thinking that the more we’ve been practicing with you, the more your powers remind me of air.
Think about it—you can make things fly around.
I wouldn’t be surprised if they weren’t somehow tied to that, even tangentially. ”
I made a hmm sound as I drummed my fingers on my thigh. There was some merit to that theory. It didn’t make me feel any better.
“We can use your magic to keep the imps at bay,” Rachel said to me. “Based on what I’ve seen, it’s going to be more useful or solid than water or fire, considering everything. I’ve seen imps go through our barriers. If you can move things around, maybe you can create some sort of stronger barrier?”
Tilting my head, I gnawed my lips as I considered it. “It’s worth a shot,” I muttered.
“Really, I’m kind of surprised,” Rachel admitted. “Normally, you’re so confident. It’s one of the things that I’ve always admired about you.”
“What are you talking about?” I asked. “I might be a bit worried, but I didn’t think I was dragging anyone down. I’m positive some good will come of this.”
But Rachel was shaking her head. “I’m not talking about you being positive, though I do love that about you.
I wish I could see the silver lining in everything.
But no, I’m just talking about your inner strength and confidence.
That has nothing to do with being bubbly.
You could be an absolute grouch and still have that.
” She nudged me. “Though I’m not saying I want you to be a grouch.
But your sunny disposition isn’t the only thing that makes you a wonderful person. ”
“You’re just being silly now,” I muttered, pink flooding my cheeks. “But I’m sorry if I’m being a downer.”
Rachel gave me an amused look. “You know you don’t have to be happy all the time, Liv. It’s not natural, anyway. No one expects you to be bubbly and sunny every second of every day. Just be yourself.”
“I am being myself,” I argued, though the words didn’t feel entirely convincing to me.
Heat flushed my cheeks, and I turned away, trying not to think too hard about what she had said and instead focusing on the problem at hand.
Except the fear of being useless, coupled with everything going on with Drake, made it nearly impossible to pay attention.
“I can use my powers to hold off the other demons, probably,” I said. “I can’t be much use against the wraith, not the way you two are at least.”
“Yeah, but keeping the demons away while we work on the wraith would be incredibly helpful,” Emma chimed in. “It’s one less thing we’ll have to worry about, and it will make it harder for the wraith to get away.”
I could feel Rachel staring at me speculatively, then her hand rested on my shoulder. “Is everything all right?” she asked.
“What do you mean?”
Rachel raised a dubious eyebrow. “Did something happen with Drake?”
Once again, she showed just how well she knew me. Heat rushed to my cheeks as I glanced away, not wanting to lie, but not really wanting to get into the whole mess of it, either.
“It’s nothing,” I finally muttered. “We got into a bit of an argument. That’s all. Nothing to worry about.”
Her brow creased, and I could tell she was trying to figure out whether to push or if I was holding back my emotions. I forced a smile. At Rachel’s incredulous expression, I crumpled, no longer able to hold that cheerful demeanor.
“Sorry,” I muttered. “It’s just there’s a lot going on. I know I’m being depressing.”
“You don’t have to apologize for being upset or showing it,” Emma said, her tone sharp, almost angry. “The fact that you have emotions is perfectly natural. You don’t need to hide it, especially considering everything we’re dealing with. Hell, I’d rather you get it all out of your system now.”
Groaning, I ran my fingers through my hair. “I just got into a fight with Drake,” I said, and just admitting it made me feel better.
Rachel went quiet, eyes moving past me to glance at someone.
Her eyes darted back to me, then to whoever was approaching.
A moment later, my heart stuttered as a familiar scent, one of campfire, wafted from behind me.
A prickling rippled through my mating bond, and I could have sworn I could feel his heat even from several feet away.
I bit my lip for the briefest of moments as I tried to get my breathing under control.
Then I slowly twisted around and came face-to-face with Drake.
A flash of lingering irritation rippled through me as I stared up at him, but it was hampered slightly by my wolf’s tug and longing.
The longer I looked at him, the more that pain and anger morphed into something different, more complex.
I was still upset with him, but at the same time, given what we were about to do, I didn’t want that hurt or anger to linger between us.
Not only would it be too much of a distraction, but should the worst happen, I didn’t want our last words to one another to be angry.
I waited, watching as he approached, his eyes never leaving me as he maneuvered toward us.
His lips were a thin line, though the rest of him was unreadable.
My heart turned into a jackhammer as I stayed motionless, waiting for him to approach.
He came to a halt, his hands stuffed in pockets as his eyes finally pulled away from me for the briefest of moments to look at the scribbled notes of our plans before locking back on me.
No one spoke for a long minute. It might have been my imagination, but I could have sworn Emma and Rachel had taken a couple of steps back, as if trying to give us a bit of privacy.
“Hi,” I said, my voice cautious as I searched his face, trying to read it.
“Hey,” he said. He raised his head to look at Rachel and Emma, giving them a curt but warm nod. “Any chance I can steal her for a few moments?”
“Just a few,” Emma said, raising her eyebrow in question at me, checking to make sure I was okay with this.
I bobbed my head. “Be right back,” I said.
Emma and Rachel waved me off, though I could tell by their glances they would come running the instant they thought I might need it.
I followed Drake a little ways away, keeping my guard up. For once, I didn’t want to bother faking cheerfulness. I had too much frustration, and there was too much going on for me to even try to hide it.
“What is it?” I asked, folding my arms. “If you’re here because you want me to leave, then you’re wasting your time.”
He shook his head. “No,” he said. “I know you’re not going anywhere, even if I beg you to.”
Some of the tension and hostility between us evaporated at that promise, and my shoulders softened, arms still folded, but the muscles uncoiling as I let out a long breath.
“All right,” I said slowly. “So then, what are you doing here?”
He shrugged, shifting from foot to foot as he glanced away. “Because, considering what we’re about to walk into, I don’t want us to still be in the middle of a fight. I’d at least like us to come to some sort of truce until this is over.”
“We’re not going to be able to solve this with a short conversation,” I told him, though this time my arms fell to my sides, more of that combativeness beginning to leave.
“I get that,” he said. “But I would like to at least start making strides toward it.”
My lips pursed as I remained silent, waiting to see what he would say.
“I care about you, Liv. A lot. And I’m worried you’ll get hurt. And I don’t know what I’ll do if something happens to you. So I’m a bit protective of you.”
“I get it. We’re mates. The mating bond can be a bit extreme.”
He shook his head, eyes burning into me. “It’s not just because we’re mates,” he argued. “I mean it. I care a lot about you, and I have for a long time, even if I haven’t shown it.”
My heart stuttered for the briefest of moments as I stared up at him. I could hear the sincerity in his words, and I wanted to believe them. I desperately wanted to believe him. But how could I, after everything he had done? He still had yet to apologize to me.
“I know I can’t stop you from helping,” he said.
“Not considering how committed you are to it. But I’m going to do everything in my power to keep you safe.
Which means I’m going to be by your side, and I’m not letting anything happen to you.
Because I don’t want to even imagine you hurt.
Just the thought of something happening to you, of having to go through the world without you, is not something I want to consider.
I know things haven’t always been great between us, but I need you to know just how much you mean to me. ”
It wasn’t an apology. I didn’t even know how to classify it.
But it was something, and I could feel a warmth in my chest despite myself.
I wanted nothing more than to step into his embrace, to curl up with him, even as part of me still worried that he would hurt me and screamed at me to protect myself from him at all costs.
“Thank you for saying that,” I said.
He hesitated, as if he was still holding something back. I waited, wondering what it might be. Instead, he cleared his throat and glanced away, his eyes finding Elias, who was motioning for the men to gather around. He took a deep breath, then glanced back at me.
“It looks like it’s almost showtime,” he said. “Go do whatever you need to do with Rachel and Emma to get ready.”
I nodded mutely, the words refusing to come to me. I began walking away.
A calloused hand wrapped around my wrist, tugging me back. I turned, and my heart jumped into my throat as Drake pulled me almost against him. His eyes searched my face, fingers reaching out to cup the side of my chin, thumb stroking along my cheekbone.
“Be safe,” he growled. “I’m going to be by you the entire way.”
I was painfully aware of every place his body touched mine.
“I will,” I said. Then, because deep down I couldn’t stand the idea of anything happening to him, either, I added, “You too.”
He squeezed my wrist, and for a moment, I thought he was going to kiss me.
That want lingered in his eyes as we stood there, blocked out from the rest of the world.
It felt as though it was just the two of us.
No one else mattered. Not the wraith, not Azaret, not the dozens of shifters milling around us as they made their final preparations.
For that moment, I could imagine we were somewhere else.
In another life, where things had played out differently.
“Drake!” Elias yelled, snipping the spell like scissors through a string.
I came crashing back to reality, and Drake’s hand slid away from my chin as he turned to look at the alpha, who was beckoning him with irritated urgency. He took a deep breath as a scowl flickered across his features before he schooled them into a mask.
“I’ve got to go.” Drake squeezed my hand once more and disappeared, leaving me standing alone, watching after him.
He looked over his shoulder at me. A rush of affection rippled through the mating bond, as if he sent it directly to me, wanting me to feel it.
My breath caught as the warmth of it spread through me, immobilizing me.
My heart continued to jackhammer in my chest as I moved back to Rachel and Emma. I didn’t have time to think about it any longer. Right now, we had a wraith we needed to take care of and a town we need to save. The rest had to wait.
Still, even as I thought this, the feel of Drake’s hand on my cheek lingered, the intense look he gave me burned into my brain.