Chapter 23 - Jenna
I heard the doorknob turn. I gasped as I quickly wrapped my arms around my knees and shut my eyes tightly. I knew that the housekeepers had cleaned my room and served my breakfast. They wouldn’t come in at this time. It terrified me to think that it might be Feliks.
I began to shiver.
I felt his presence in the room even before I heard the footsteps. I jerked when he closed the door behind him. I didn’t lift my head to look at him. I could feel life slipping out of me as his footsteps approached my bed.
What did he plan to do to me? Had he decided to kill me?
My thoughts were not helping matters at all. I heard the sheets ruffling. I could feel Feliks sitting beside me. I didn’t look at him, but I could feel his eyes on me.
He didn’t say anything for a while. My heart raced, and I tried not to think about what he planned to do to me. After a minute of dead silence, Feliks finally cleared his throat.
“Your hair is a mess,” he commented and chuckled lightly.
It sounded like the chuckle was to suppress some pain. I slowly lifted my head to look at him.
“Jesus, Jenna,” he said softly but not without concern. “Your eyes. The dark circles. Your skin...”
He paused and examined me from head to toe.
“Your skin is pale. You look weak.”
He took his eyes slowly to my neck and fixed his eyes there. I could tell he was staring at the red mark on my neck. The mark he’d given me while he was trying to choke me.
I tried to hide it with a pillow, but he grabbed it and dropped it on the floor. “Why haven’t you been taking care of yourself?” he asked, swallowing hard.
I wondered why he was suddenly so concerned. I relaxed a little but still didn’t let my guard down. I didn’t know what his plans were. Was he genuinely concerned, or was this the calm before the storm?
I lowered my head and said nothing. What would I say, even had I wanted to speak?
Feliks let out another deep sigh. “Why didn’t you tell me?”
It almost came out as a whisper, but I’d heard him. I lifted my head slowly and focused on his eyes briefly. My eyes moved from his eyes to his lips and back to his eyes.
There was pity in his gaze. I could guess what was happening, but I didn’t want to hope.
“Why did you keep quiet all this while?”
It dawned on me that he knew the truth. I tried to blink back the tears that had gathered in my eyes, but my emotions got the better of me. I burst into tears, unable to respond.
Feliks watched me as I cried. Maybe he wanted to let me cry it out. The saying was that crying was good for the soul. Maybe he believed in that, too. I cried for a few more seconds before wiping my face.
I lifted my head and stared at Feliks, but I could not read the expression on his face.
“You didn’t give me the chance,” I said and sniffed. “I wanted to tell you, but you would not even let me speak. You wouldn’t let me explain myself.”
I paused and inhaled sharply. My tears were threatening to fall once again, but I waited a few more seconds. Once everything was back to normal, I breathed heavily.
“You just didn’t want to listen to me.”
Feliks shook his head. He moved closer to me and wrapped his arms around my shoulder. I felt shivers run down my spine the moment his hands touched my shoulders.
“I should have listened to you, but I was too angry. It was my fault.”
I leaned sideways and enjoyed the comfort of his hands. I missed having Feliks around me like this.
“Life hasn’t been easy for me at all,” I told him. I laughed lightly. For some reason, the laughter suppressed my pain for some time. I sniffled and exhaled deeply.
“Whatever happened was a setup—but before I tell you the story, I think I should start from the beginning. “
Feliks let go of my shoulders. He sat comfortably and leaned on the bed frame. “We have the whole of today and even tomorrow. I am ready to listen to you now. Just tell me everything. Tell me anything.”
I nodded my head. I wiped my face with the back of my hand. Feliks pulled out a handkerchief from his pocket and handed it to me.
“Thank you.” I forced a smile as I took the kerchief from him. I wiped my face and dropped it.
“My life was never perfect the way you think,” I told Feliks. I knew he’d always thought I had grown up as a princess. “I didn’t grow up with my father—his wife is not my mother. My mom and I had to struggle. We hawked on the street and did all kinds of menial jobs to survive. It wasn’t easy at all. Maybe that’s why my mom fell ill.”
Tears began to drip down my cheeks again. “Maybe th-tha—that’s why she’s in this condition. Because of me.”
Tears seized my voice, and I kept waiting for it to come back. I grasped the handkerchief and wiped my face again. I could feel Feliks's eyes on me. It was as though he could see through me at that point.
“I wanted to save my mother’s life. The reason I got into this. . .” I paused and gulped hard. “... into this marriage was because I wanted to save my mom.”
Feliks stretched his legs. I realized that my legs had been folded for a while. They began to hurt, so I stretched them out and freed them from my hands.
“That day, I went to the hospital because of my mom. The doctor called, and I had to run there. I am sure Veronica called Leo to inform him I was there.”
I tilted my head slowly and faced Feliks. He stood up and walked toward the table. He’d been staring at it the whole time, which distracted him.
He opened the platter on the table. My breakfast was there, untouched. He lifted his head to look at the clock. It was already noon. He turned to look at me, and I blinked twice before looking away.
He walked back to the bed and sat beside me. I thought he would scold me for not eating, but he didn’t. He didn’t even mention it.
“Go ahead,” he said with a neutral tone. “I am sorry about the interruption.”
I nodded and continued. “Veronica and her mother have never been nice to me. I think they wanted you to kill me—that was why they decided to set me up. You fell for their plan. They hurt me again, but this time, they used someone else.”
Again, I burst into tears, and Feliks hugged me. His chest still felt the same. It was warm and comforting, but I was too broken already. It would take a while for me to heal.
His palm ran down from my hair down to my back. “I am so sorry, Jenna,” Feliks apologized. “I should have trusted you, but I didn’t. I let my emotions blind me. I almost lost something so precious, someone I could never replace, because of how stupid I was. I am so sorry, Jenna. Please forgive me.”
I continued sobbing in his arms. It seemed like his apology triggered the tears even more.
He said, “I was close to you and didn’t even see what you were going through. I failed you twice.”
I shook my head, stopped crying, and sniffled. Feliks picked up the damp kerchief and wiped my tears. We both fell quiet for a few moments; it seemed like he was waiting for me to calm down.
I knew that Feliks had more to say, so I waited for it.
“I should have noticed earlier. I didn’t even know about your mother’s health. I didn’t know about the hardships you went through or what you’re still going through. You should have told me about everything at once—about your mother. Maybe if I’d known why you went to the hospital, none of this would’ve happened.”
I opened my mouth and eyes wide.
“No, no... no,” Feliks said as he placed his hands on my shoulder. “You know that’s not what I meant. I mean, — I am not trying to blame you for this. I just feel sad because you didn’t say anything to me. You kept it from your husband.”
I nodded my head.
“I’m sorry, too. I shouldn’t have kept anything from you, but I just didn’t think. I didn’t want to bother you with my problems—the circumstances surrounding our marriage and all that.”
Feliks shifted closer to me. He stared deeply into my eyes, and I didn’t blink for a second. We stared into each other’s eyes for a while.
“I am sorry for everything,” Feliks repeated.
I smiled. I didn’t know how, but I forgave him so easily. He’d hurt me so badly when he tried to kill me, when I’d done nothing wrong. He didn’t even try to hear me out. I shouldn’t have been able to forgive him at all, but surprisingly, I did.
I didn’t tell him that, though. I kept quiet and stared down at my fingers as I played with them.
“What can I do to make up for this? I don’t know how else to show you that I am genuinely sorry for everything that happened. “
I sucked my teeth and shook my head. “It’s fine.”
Feliks took my hands. “Are you sure?”
I lifted my head to the ceiling and blinked back the tears that were threatening to fall down my cheeks.
“Very sure,” I replied and nodded.
Feliks pulled me into his arms and hugged me for a few more moments. I shut my eyes and listened to his heartbeat. It wasn’t steady. This reminded me of the time we got lost in the jungle.
I placed my left hand close to his stomach.
After a while, he pulled me away gently and kissed my forehead.
“I will take care of you from now on, I promise. I won’t let anyone, or anything hurt you. I know I hurt you, and I shouldn’t have. I promise you that it won’t happen again.”
Feliks’ words made me emotional once again, but I realized that there were no more tears in my eyes to cry. I just blinked rapidly; my eyes were too dry to weep.
“I just hope that...” I started, but I paused.
“That I will keep my word?” Feliks asked.
As much as I didn’t want to admit it, I knew I should. I was so scared of Feliks, and I didn’t want to live my life in fear. My marriage shouldn’t be like this.
I nodded gently.
Feliks was quiet. I knew he felt a little bad that I doubted him, but he’d brought it upon himself. “I’m sorry, but I just feel so scared right now. I don’t know what you are going to do to me next.”
“I won’t hurt you. No one is allowed to hurt you, and I will ruin anyone who tries.”
I lifted an eyebrow. What did Feliks mean by he’d ruin anyone who hurt me? I thought that he was referring to my stepmother and her daughter, and his next words confirmed it.
“I will ruin your family. They caused you so much pain, and they deserve to pay for it.”
I sighed. I’d seen this coming. Even though I wanted them to pay for what they’d done to me, I knew Feliks well enough to know what he meant by ruin , and I wasn’t sure I wanted that.
Someone who tried to kill his wife. He would not spare anyone.
I remembered the wedding. We were told that he was attacked, but he returned unharmed.
“You know you don’t have to take revenge for me, right?” I asked him.
“They have to pay for what they did to you.”
“You can’t hurt my family , Feliks,” I said, shaking slightly. “My father is the one paying for my mom’s treatment. If you did anything to hurt him, her life would be in danger.”
Feliks let go of my hands. He drew even nearer, leaving very little space between us. He gently took my jaw and lifted my chin to face him. He peered into my eyes. Feliks opened his mouth to say something, but he ended up shutting his mouth again.
He licked his lips. “Jenna,” he finally said.
“Feliks,” I whispered.
“You are my responsibility now,” he said firmly. “That was what I meant when I said I would care for you. I want to take care of your needs, Jenna. I will care for you and your mother because you are mine.”
It seemed like he pronounced the words carefully to make sure I heard every word he spoke. I could not keep the pace. I kept blinking. I tried to look away, but I could not.
“You need support from no one other than me, Jenna. “