Chapter 9 - Jasper
Glancing up the steps, Jasper considered his next steps.
He needed to approach Nikki. He needed to do something because if he didn’t, things were only going to get worse.
They hadn’t spoken much since their fight at the library.
They walked to and from her work in silence, and whenever she was home, she swiftly retreated to her room.
It had been an entire day of that. It had given Jasper time to ruminate, to contemplate what he had done. As much as he hated to admit it, she was right. He was smothering her, and that wasn’t what he wanted. He wanted to keep her safe. He wanted to help her.
It wasn’t going to get better if he didn’t do something. He needed to help her, to make sure she knew he was on her side. Taking a deep breath, he began climbing the stairs, rehearsing what he was going to tell her with each step he ascended, making it almost a mantra.
He paused for a moment in front of her room, his arm raised, preparing to knock.
He hesitated. For a wild moment, a lance of anxiety pierced through him.
What if she refused to talk to him? He wanted to make this right, but if she wouldn’t talk to him, the only way he could make it right was by forcing her to talk to him, which he desperately wanted to avoid.
If she didn’t want to talk to him, then he would walk away and leave it. He might try some other day, but he wouldn’t barge in and demand her attention. It would only make things worse.
Bracing himself, he knocked on the door.
For a moment, there was no sound on the other side, even though he knew she was in there.
Her scent wafted into his nostrils. He could picture her sitting on the bed, eyeing the door.
He imagined her tucking a strand of her auburn hair behind her ear and worrying her lower lip.
Wondering if she would even bother telling him to go away or simply remain mute, Jasper waited.
“It’s open,” Nikki’s voice finally called.
An overwhelming sense of relief that he hadn’t anticipated washed over him, and he found himself breathing easier for the first time in days. He pushed the door open.
She was sitting on the bed, feet dangling over the side. Her hair was indeed tucked behind her ear. Nikki watched him, her expression guarded, neither of them speaking. A long moment stretched between them.
“Hey,” he said.
“Hi,” she said, her expression still guarded, neutral.
Letting out a breath, feeling strangely self-conscious, he rubbed the back of his neck. “I wanted to apologize,” he muttered.
Nikki blinked. “What?”
“I fucked up,” he admitted. “I should have handled yesterday better, and I’m sorry.”
Her features softened, and she uncoiled from her curled position. She studied him, her head tilted.
“Things need to change, Jasper,” she finally said. “I appreciate you looking out for me, but I need some space. I can’t keep going like this.”
He nodded. “You’re right.”
Again, another blink of surprise. She stared at him, almost bewildered, as if waiting for some other version of him, the one she had seen at the library, to reemerge.
“I’m not going to stop protecting you,” he growled. “And I’m not going to stop telling you when I think what you’re doing is dangerous, but I should have handled all of this better.”
Her features softened, her shoulders that had been tensed and ready to battle began to ease. She contemplated him in a new light, regarding him with a curious expression.
“All right,” she said.
A pause lingered between them. Jasper regarded her, taking in the handful of freckles that dotted her cheekbones. Her hair was a tiny bit messy, as if she had used her fingers as a comb but nothing else. She wasn’t wearing makeup. Something about that natural state made her even more beautiful.
They stayed like that for a long time, neither of them speaking, both considering the other as if they were in the presence of a dangerous species.
Jasper moved first. “Come on,” he said, jerking his head toward the door.
Her features immediately turned guarded once more. “Why?” she demanded.
“Because I wanted to do something nice for you?” he said, turning it into a question. “I have a surprise.”
The suspicion in her eyes lingered. Jasper let out a puff of air, trying to conceal his exasperation. He managed to obscure most of it, at least.
“Look, you’re the one who wanted to get out of the house,” he said. “Would you rather stay here?”
She shook her head. She moved until she was on the edge of the bed, but stayed there. She considered him once more, her feet dangling inches from the floor.
“But why? For what reason?”
He grinned. “Come on, that’s not fun, is it? That’s the whole point of it being a surprise. I promise you’ll like it, though.”
Her own lip twitched upward. After a moment, she shrugged. “All right.”
She stood and stretched. He tried not to notice the way that cat-like gesture accentuated her gentle curves.
He imagined his hands running along her body, tracing those contours.
His jaw twitched, and he had to force himself to stay in place when all he wanted was to go over and pin her to the wall.
He’d felt similarly when they had been in the library, in that small, confined room.
Once again, he had to resist those urges. That didn’t stop him from watching.
She caught him looking. At first, he expected her to glower at him. Instead, she raised an eyebrow and gave a coy smile.
“Are we going or not?” she asked.
Jasper smirked. “Come on,” he said, and began leading her outside.
“What now?” she asked.
“We’re going somewhere.”
Her brow knitted together. “Walking?”
He grinned. “Not exactly.”
One moment, he was in his human form. The next, his body transformed, and a great wolf stood in his place.
He dug his claws into the ground, relishing the feel.
It had been too long since he’d last shifted.
It felt like stretching a muscle after a long break.
He shook, reacquainting himself with his current form.
His senses, already enhanced as a human, grew even stronger, the smells and sounds of the world flooding into him.
Nikki sucked in a breath. The first time she had seen him in his wolf form, she’d been injured and it had been dark. It had been nearly impossible to see all the details, to truly understand the size of a shifter’s wolf.
He padded over to her slowly, keeping his head low, trying to be unthreatening.
Tentatively, she stretched out her hand.
He let her run her fingers through his fur.
Normally, he hated anyone touching his coat.
But Nikki’s touch was light and gentle and delicate, and something about the way the tips of her nails ran along his flank that sent shivers rippling through him.
It was all he could do not to lean into that touch.
They stood like that for some time. Nikki’s scent wrapped around him, clinging to his fur. They could have stayed like that for hours for all he cared.
He crouched, bending so she could clamber onto his back. When he rose to his full height, she gasped. Her fingers gripped tufts of fur between his shoulder blades, but not too tightly. When he was certain she was situated, he took off.
It had been too long since he had last shifted to run through the woods. He had missed the feel of the wind in his fur, the way it felt to stretch his legs and thunder down the road.
He sped along the road. He could feel Nikki grasping onto him with dear life, her thighs gripping his sides.
She wobbled, then managed to get the hang of how to sit.
She squealed, not in fright but in delight, and a moment later, she let out a wild whoop.
Her butt lifted from his back, and he knew without looking that she was sitting up to get a better view.
She let out another wild laugh, and he broke into an inner grin of his own.
It felt as though they had been doing this for years, some ritual between them where they could communicate without speaking.
He sprinted through the woods, ascending one of the mountains at breakneck speed, carefully avoiding low-hanging branches and anything else that might strike her.
But he realized at some point that he didn’t need to.
Nikki’s weight shifted periodically with every move, and she dodged any obstacles without any help from him, as if she had been doing this since she was a kid.
He could hear her excited gasps and breathy laughs.
She leaned forward, bringing her torso almost parallel with his back, and he could smell her perfume.
He could have kept running like that for hours.
There was something about it that felt like an adrenaline rush.
He loved running through the woods. He loved that Nikki was with him, taking to the ride like a shifter who had been doing it her whole life.
He loved the perfect weather and the trees and everything else about it.
He doubted he had enjoyed a run this much before. Something about it felt right.
Eventually, though, it had to end. They came to a clearing with a rocky overhang at one end.
The leaves there were still mostly on the trees, with some red and yellow now dotting the ground.
The wind swished through the trees, bringing more leaves tumbling to the earth.
He slowed to a stop, sides heaving from the exertion. He crouched down to let her dismount.
She slid off his back, her cheeks pink, eyes filled with exhilaration and delight. She gave a breathless laugh. Her hand lingered on his side, resting in his fur for another moment before sliding away.
Jasper shifted back to human form.
“You all right?” he asked, eyes sweeping over her, checking for any scratches she might have gotten on the ride, or some sort of panic in her eyes. There was nothing wrong with her, and her eyes shone with exhilaration and wild delight.
“Better than all right. That was amazing,” she said.
Jasper grinned. “Glad you liked it.”