Chapter 13
I hung up that phone with Demontae and stood there for a second, my whole body frozen, before the tears started coming fast and heavy, streaming down my face so hard I could barely see straight.
I started pacing that living room floor, dialing my aunt’s number over and over, my hands shaking so bad I kept fumbling the numbers.
She finally picked up, screaming before I could even get a word out.
“He shot him!” My aunt Shantel’s voice tore through that phone, hysterical, breaking apart with every word.
“He shot my husband and took my baby! He’s going to fucking jail for old and new!
This is all your fault, Tattiana! You brought this drama and mess to my door!
He came here looking for you! He didn’t even know about her until today!
” Her voice cracked completely, shifting away from the phone for a second.
“Ron! Stay with me, baby. Stay with me!”
The phone slipped clean out my hand and hit the floor. My legs gave out right along with it, and I dropped down to my knees in the middle of that living room, everything in me collapsing at once.
Nyla came running in from the other room, dropping down beside me fast.
“Tatti, are you okay?” she said, her hands on my shoulders, trying to get me to look at her. She helped me up off that floor and walked me over to the couch, sitting me down gentle even though I was shaking so hard I could barely stay upright.
“Breathe, Tattiana,” she said, kneeling in front of me, holding both my hands.
“Just breathe. I know today’s been heavy on you, but please, calm down enough to tell me what’s going on right now.
You crying and shaking and I can’t help you if I don’t know what happened.
Please, talk to me because right now, you scaring the fuck out of me.
” Nyla looked into my eyes as she spoke, full of concern.
I forced myself to breathe, then I forced the words out through everything that was breaking inside me, and I broke that phone call that I’d just had down for her, piece by piece, everything Demontae said, everything my aunt screamed at me, all of it spilling out at once.
Then I explained the full story, through my tears.
“Wait.” Nyla’s face changed completely, disbelief and horror mixing together.
“Demontae, Nariyah’s father, is also the same nigga Demon that Kaseem and Namier nem at war with?
But he’s also Kaseem’s brother that none of them even knew about?
” She shook her head fast, cutting through her own confusion.
“Tatti, fuck all that right now. You need to call your husband. You need to call him right now and tell him what’s going on so he can get Nariyah back. ”
“I can’t,” I said, my voice breaking apart. “Demontae will make sure I never see my baby again, Nyla. I know him. I know he doesn’t make threats for fun. He’s cold. He’s heartless. He’s the type of man that keeps his word when it comes to what he’ll do to anybody that crosses him. I can’t risk it.”
“First off,” Nyla said, her voice firm now, cutting through my panic, “you should’ve told your husband who your baby’s father was the second you found out that’s who he’d been at war with this whole time.
I know I’m just now meeting these niggas, but I already know enough about Kaseem to know he’s gonna protect you and find a way to fix this shit.
Your baby’s life depends on you calling him right now. ”
She picked my phone up off the floor and pressed it into my shaking hands.
I dialed Kaseem’s number, my whole body trembling. I felt my heart skip a few beats from how scared I was right now.
“Baby, can I call you right back?” he answered fast, distracted, clearly already in the middle of something. “I’m in the middle of something right now.”
“No, you can’t,” I said, my voice cracking wide open.
“My daughter’s been kidnapped, and my uncle’s been shot.
I was threatened not to call you, but I had to.
Calling you right now may be putting you, me and everybody I love in danger.
I’m trusting you to fix this. Please, come to me right now. I need to talk to you face to face.”
“What the fuck?” His whole tone shifted instantly, sharp and alert. “Fuck yo uncle. But baby girl is off limits! You know what happened? Cause I already got an idea, and if that’s the case, ain’t no telling what I’m about to do.”
“Yes,” I said. “I know exactly who has her. But I need you here so we can talk.”
“I’m on my way to you right now,” he said, his voice steady, urgent.
“Stop crying, baby. I promise you I’m gonna fix this.
Tattiana, I’m sorry for any harm, and any problems life with me has brought down on you.
All this shit I got going on. I swear to you, I’m gonna make this right and I never meant for my shit in these streets to ever touch you. ”
I cried harder hearing that, cried so hard I could barely hold that phone steady against my ear.
I cried because I knew, deep down I couldn’t lie to myself no more. This wasn’t his fault at all.
It was mine. And I didn’t know how I was about to break this to him.
—
Waiting on Kaseem to make it to me had me feeling like a complete failure sitting there on that couch. I felt like I was the cause of so much going wrong and I was hating myself.
My mind wouldn’t stop running, jumping from one terrible thought to the next, no order to none of it, just pure panic circling in my mind over and over. I needed to do something but at the same time, there was nothing I could do.
I wanted to get up and leave this house right now, wanted to rush out into the dark and go find my child myself, but I didn’t even know where I’d start looking.
Didn’t have the first clue which direction to drive, which street to search, which door to knock on.
And even if I did have an idea, I couldn’t get nowhere without security stopping me from leaving this house, cause that’s exactly how Kaseem had it set up.
With everything that had been going on, I couldn’t blame him. Especially after learning it was a shooting on the compound. I was sitting there feeling like a sitting duck, completely useless, and I hated that feeling more than almost anything else in this world.
I was trying my best to be patient, trying to just breathe and wait for my husband to get to me, but underneath that patience, a whole other fear was building.
The fear of this conversation I’d been avoiding for a while now, the one I’d promised myself I was finally gonna come clean about tonight over dinner.
I was still gonna come clean, now it wasn’t gonna happen over candlelight and after a good conversation.
It was gonna happen with my daughter missing and my husband’s whole world already falling apart.
Now I had to break even more fucked up news to him.
Just as I felt my mind about to spiral completely out my control, I heard knocking at the door.
I stood up off that sofa fast while Nyla went to answer it.
Kaseem, Namier, and Zaire all walked in together, filling up that whole living room with the kind of tension you could feel pressing against your chest, hard.
Nyla ran straight to Namier, jumping up into his arms like she hadn’t seen him in weeks instead of just a few hours.
Zaire stood off to the side looking annoyed, his jaw tight, and I understood that completely given everything he’d probably already been through tonight.
Kaseem rushed past both of them straight to me while Zaire found a spot on the far end of the room, making himself comfortable, watching everything unfold with them sharp, quiet eyes of his.
Kaseem grabbed my face with both his hands, looking me dead in my eyes, and I broke down crying all over again just from that look alone. He pulled me straight into his chest and whispered into my ear, telling me everything was gonna be okay, that we was gonna get Nariyah back safe.
“I really need to talk to you alone,” I told him, my voice shaking.
He grabbed my hand without a single question and led me outside, out into the yard, away from everybody else’s ears.
As much as every part of me wanted to beat around the bush, wanted to find some soft way into this, I already knew that wasn’t an option tonight. This was life or death now. I needed to come clean with my husband, no matter whatever may it cost me.
“Before I let you take the blame thinking this whole war is the reason my daughter got kidnapped,” I said, forcing myself to look him in his eyes even though everything in me wanted to look away, “I need you to know it wasn’t. This is my fault. I didn’t tell you the whole truth when I should have.”
“What is that supposed to mean?” he said, his face scrunching up, confusion and impatience both covering his face. I was taking too long getting the words out, and I could feel him losing his patience by the second. “Tattiana!”
“Kaseem, I love you more than anything in this world,” I said, the words tumbling out fast now, desperate to get them out before I lost my nerve completely.
“You came into my life and gave me a love I ain’t never experienced before, a love I didn’t even know I needed till you married me.
And naturally, I ain’t want to do or say nothing that could jeopardize that, that could make me lose you.
I never once lied to you in this marriage, but there was some information I ain’t disclose, cause I was scared.
Scared to lose you. I ain’t find out the full truth till after our wedding already happened, and by then I was just… scared.”