Chapter 17
I woke up and Kaseem was still in bed with me.
For the first time all week, he hadn't left before I opened my eyes. He was laying there sleep like this was normal. Like we were a real couple that did this every morning. I mean, it was starting to be what I wanted. Shit just felt easy with him.
I thought I was dreaming.
I lifted my hand up and looked at the rock on my finger. Three carats. I smiled without trying to.
He reached over and grabbed my hand. Brought it to his lips and kissed it soft.
"Good morning," he said.
This was different. This was a side of him I wasn't used to seeing first thing in the morning. Or at all.
I couldn't do anything but smile.
"You want to go out for breakfast or stay in?" he asked.
"I got a really busy day," I said. "I really can't sit around for breakfast. Once I get dressed, I need to head out and handle my errands."
"I understand," he said. "But you need to eat something before you leave. Some fruit. Something."
I looked at him sideways. Was he really being nice like this?
"You are a mean ass nigga," I said. "Don't put on this act and then change on me tomorrow. Or I'm gonna be pissed the fuck off."
He laughed.
"I'm gonna try to do better," he said. "But I ain't never been no soft nigga. You got to understand that."
---
I showered and got dressed quick. I had moves I needed to make today. I got in the truck and gave the driver the address to my bank. Sam sat up front quiet, but watching me through the mirror.
Sam was with me at the bank. Standing close. Watching over my shoulder like I might do something stupid.
I withdrew ten thousand dollars. Hoped it would be enough for a while. I knew that I wasn’t in a position to be moving back and forth without looking suspicious.
But I already knew this wouldn’t be enough. When you are dealing with greedy and money, hungry people, they always try to find a way to make you come out of more money.
---
The driver took me all the way to Temple, Texas. Three and a half hours out into the country where my aunt lived.
When I got out the car, I took a deep breath before going inside.
My aunt was sitting at the kitchen table smoking a cigarette when I walked in. The look she gave me was of annoyance and disgust. Since I was a kid, she hated me. She went from being my favorite aunt, to be someone I despised and vice versa.
"It's about damn time you made it," she said, not even looking up.
The house was empty. Completely empty.
"Where is everybody?" I asked.
"Gone," she said. "I sent them out on purpose. We need to talk."
I felt my stomach drop. Talking to her ass was never good.
"You know we have a routine," I said, trying to keep it light.
"Fuck a routine," she snapped. "You been missing for a damn week, Tattiana."
"Things happened that's out of my control," I said. "I have to get married unexpectedly. A lot of unforeseen things came up where I couldn't call or come by."
She put the cigarette down and looked at me straight.
"How the fuck are you getting married and unexpectedly? What the fuck does that even mean, when you got other obligations?" she asked. "Who's paying for the wedding?"
"My husband," I said. "In this generation that's the husband's job. And it's just a small ceremony anyway."
"Your husband," she repeated. "So you marrying that trainer? The one that cheats on you? Everybody's talking about it. It's all over your town. Hell, the talk even made it all the way down here."
"He doesn't cheat," I said, but my voice was weak. I didn’t want to tell her that I wasn’t marrying Savion. That was too much of my personal business to share with her.
She pulled out another cigarette and lit it.
"You got other things to worry about than who cheating on who," she said.
I pulled the money out of my bag, the ten grand. Sam was standing right outside the front door where I could see him through the window.
I handed her the bag of money.
She looked inside and smiled.
"This will buy you another two weeks," she said, fingering through the bills.
"How long does this have to go on?" I asked. "How long are you gonna keep doing this?"
She looked me dead in my face.
"Until my dying day," she said flat. "I've been protecting you.
Keeping your secrets. Stepping up more than any other auntie would.
You gonna pay me like you weigh. You had a choice back then.
You always had a choice. And you chose wrong.
I'm protecting you, and the sooner you realize that, the sooner you'll stop asking me about money.
You should know by now, this is how it's gonna be. "
The room went quiet.
"I'm not a kid anymore," I said slowly. "And I'm thinking maybe I should just deal with my consequences. Life happens. Mistakes happen. Maybe I'm ready to own up to everything."
She laughed and it was harder and louder this time.
Then she stood up and got in my face. Spoke through clenched teeth.
"It ain't that easy, baby girl," she said. "If you think you're gonna fuck up what we got going on and this money rolling in, they'll be looking for your ass on the 10 o'clock news. You understand me?"
I nodded because I did understand. I understood perfectly. I knew exactly what I had to do now, and it wasn’t going to be to keep letting this bitch extort me.
As soon as Sam saw the tension, he burst through the front door.
"You good?" he asked me.
I looked down at my aunt.
"Yeah," I said. "I'm good."
Then I looked back at her.
"You gonna be seeing me again real soon," I said. "And it ain't gonna be to make no payment."
---
I left that house shaking. Angry. My hands were literally trembling.
My past was about to catch up with me. I could feel it coming. And I wanted to deal with it head on. I wanted to own it.
But first, I needed to talk to my father.
I gave the driver his office address. He was at work right now and I needed my daddy.
I needed to vent and maybe even come clean to him first. This is the longest I had ever went without talking to him, he was my best friend up until the day that he gave me away to Kaseem.
While I had a little taste of freedom, I was going to go and see if he could fix everything for me.
Two and a half hours later, I pulled up to his building.
I walked past his receptionist April without stopping.
She tried to say something and keep me from going into his office, but I was already moving.
Today had been fucked up and I needed his wisdom and hoped he’d apologize and maybe he’d really tell me why he’d given me away to this crazy ass Carter family.
When I walked into his office, I saw him.
With Lashara on his lap. She was kissing him and rubbing on him like this was a normal thing for them two.
And a little girl was in the corner coloring. She looked to be around four years old.
When my eyes locked on her, I realized she looked just like my father. I remembered Lashara being pregnant years ago, but I never saw her or the baby after everything happened.
Lashara and my father froze. Looking like deer caught in headlights. He pushed her off of him, and he jumped up to come to me.
"Baby, let me explain," my father started.
But I couldn't hear him. My ears were ringing. My heart was pounding so hard I thought it was gonna come out my chest.
My father was cheating on my mother. Had a whole baby. And this woman, Lashara — was his business partner's wife.
His business partner Ali. The one who was brutally murdered four and a half years ago. Why would he do that?
The pieces were connecting in my head and I didn't like the picture they were making. If the man had only been dead less than five years, and my father had a baby with the man wife… this shit was making me sick to my stomach.
I turned and ran out of that office as fast as I could.
Sam was right behind me.
My father was right behind him, begging me to stop. To listen to him.
"Get him the fuck away from me!" I yelled to Sam.
Sam stopped and backed my father all the way up. Gave me space to move.
My life was in shambles. I didn't know what the fuck was going on. And I didn't know how the hell I was gonna tell Kaseem any of this.
—
I got in the car and the tears wouldn't stop.
Not just a few tears sliding down my face. Full-on breakdown crying. My whole body was shaking. My chest heaving. I couldn't catch my breath. Every time I tried to breathe, it came out as a gasp.
How could he do this?
How could my father have a whole other life? A whole other woman. A whole other child.
A sister. I had a sister I didn't even know about.
And my mother had no idea. My mother was at home thinking my father was at work, at his office, and he was with Lashara. With a baby that looked just like him.
I pressed my face against the window and just let it out. The tears. The confusion. The betrayal. All of that mixed with my own damn family extorting and blackmailing me. Today was too damn heavy. All I could do was cry.
Sam was up front but his eyes kept going to the rearview mirror, watching me fall apart.
After a few minutes, he reached his phone up to his ear. I heard ringing or something.
"Boss," he said quietly into the phone. His voice was low but I could hear him. "Something's happened. She's... she's crying real bad. Like, real bad. I don't know what happened back there but she came out of that building shaking and I had to make her father back down from running after her.”
I heard Kaseem's voice come through the phone. Not calm. Not controlled. Yelling.
"What the fuck happened to her? Is she hurt? Did somebody touch her?"
"No sir," Sam said. "She's not hurt physically. But something happened. She's breaking down."
"Get her home NOW. I don’t know what the fuck is going on, but get here with my wife, and make that shit swiftly!”
The phone went dead.
I looked up at Sam and the driver was already pressing the gas. The car moved faster.
---
The whole drive back, I couldn't stop crying.