Chapter 10 Lexi
Lexi
I cannot believe I patted his fucking hand.
For the rest of the week, I could not let the visual go.
The look on Justin’s face, and body language in the SUV, seemed so profoundly sad, or deflated.
Whatever it was, it struck a chord, and I had the urge to comfort him.
Even though he made zero reaction to my touch, I crossed a line. Maybe, hopefully, he didn’t notice.
After I pull up to Justin’s house, Jack steps outside, gives me a signature nod and opens his memo book.
Jack’s ex-military, ex-cop, and even though he’ll go to the grave admitting it, I think he carries that thing around like a security blanket.
‘Not much to report today,’ he says without looking at his open notepad.
As usual. ‘No packages. No emails. The principal did seem agitated after his phone rang several times in a row, but he sent each call to voicemail. I did not inquire who was on the other end.’
‘You know, you can call him Justin, right, and not “the principal”?’ I say, curving up my lips into a teasing grin. ‘I promise I won’t tell him.’
Jack would never smile at a joke. It’d ruin his image. But the tiniest flick of light passes through his eyes. ‘Rules rule.’
I put my hand to my chest. ‘Oh my God, did you just … say a joke?’ At least a Jack version of a joke.
‘I don’t joke,’ he says.
I’m not sure I believe him.
After we finish our debrief, I step into the house for the last shift of the second week of work.
Justin peeks out of the sitting room with a tiny glint in his eyes and I’m momentarily distracted by a soft zing.
Dammit. I cannot be distracted. I will not be distracted.
After what happened last time when I was unfocused …
I push my thumb into the scar on my shoulder and move to the kitchen.
His sneakered footsteps follow me closely. ‘Hey, Doc, I need to say something to you.’
Shit. He’ll say I invaded his boundaries earlier this week when I touched his hand, and I can’t blame him. Ugh. Awkward. I’ve dealt with worse before, but still. I square my backbone and face him, ready to apologize and assure him nothing like that will happen again. ‘What’s up?’
‘I don’t think I’ve ever said thanks.’ He stuffs his hands into his pockets.
‘I know it’s your job and all, but I appreciate you being here.
It’s got to be boring as hell watching me all day.
My image online shows I’m way more exciting than I actually am.
As you can clearly see, I’m relatively boring. ’
I slowly release the air I’m holding. ‘Oh, come on. You’re not that bad.
’ I fill my water bottle from the fridge.
‘For real, it’s okay. This is not a bad gig.
Someday I’ll tell you about a certain diplomat I guarded for a weekend.
Along with his wife. And girlfriends. You would not believe how he talked to the women, and I couldn’t do anything about it.
I daydreamed for a month about putting him in an armbar. ’
He laughs and reaches for an orange. ‘Wait, what’s an armbar?’
‘It’s a highly effective self-defense move,’ I say. ‘You basically isolate an arm for control.’
‘Do you try and break it?’ He asks as he rolls the orange with his palm against the counter.
‘Depends on how bad the situation is.’ I grin at his raised eyebrows. ‘But no, not usually. It’s so effective that people usually stop what they’re doing immediately.’
‘So, you just grab it?’ The scent of citrus bursts in the room and he hands me a slice. ‘How do they not get away?’
I pop the fruit in my mouth and chew. ‘Want me to show you?’
‘Are you kidding?’ he says, and I almost laugh at the way his face lights up. ‘Absolutely.’
As hard as it is, I avoid skipping down the stairs to the gym.
Even though this room is part of my sweep, I’m always shocked when I enter.
The digital weight machines, treadmills, bike and elliptical, surrounded by a wall of mirrors, are always pristine.
The gym at Marcus’s office smells like sweat and hot breath.
Justin’s almost smells like grapefruit and cedar.
I dig into my inside waistband holster to unlatch my firearm and set it on the side table. On the center mat, energy spikes my limbs. Teaching moves is almost as invigorating as performing them. Teaching a man like Justin, who towers over me and weighs a good fifty pounds more, is even better.
‘Where do you want me?’ He rubs his hands together.
‘Let’s start with some floor work. You’ll be the person attacking me, and I’ll show you how I get out of it.’ I lay on my stomach and put my arms above my head. ‘Straddle me and put your hands around my neck like you’re choking me.’
‘This all feels very wrong,’ he says with a chuckle. His knees tuck against my side as he hovers. ‘Hey, you’re strong and all, but I’m like one-ninety. Am I gonna hurt you?’
‘Nah, you’re good.’ I refuse to focus on the compassionate tone. And I’m definitely not focusing on his strong thighs pressed against my legs. ‘Now choke me.’
Fingertips brush my ponytail to the side. A jolt of unexpected electricity sends tingles to the top of my head. It takes a few moments, and a little shifting, but soon warm hands gently grip my neck.
In a swift, seamless motion, my highly trained muscle memory kicks in. I push my forehead into the mat, throw my body into a fetal position and knock him off balance. I swing, wrap my legs around his chest and use my arm for additional leverage to flip him on his back.
‘Holy shit!’ He chokes out a laugh and takes in gulps of air. ‘Jesus, I wasn’t expecting that.’
I hop off and stand over him, scanning his body for any signs of distress. ‘Are you okay?’
He tosses his arms above his head before leaping up. ‘Yep, just trying to breathe.’
Satisfaction fills me. Not that I want to hurt him, of course. But a client never knows my abilities unless they face an actual threat, which is pretty rare. ‘Now you try.’
So many years have passed since I taught self-defense, and the rush flies back. I spar with Marcus or colleagues almost every day, but this is different. Teaching fulfills me in a way that few other things do. ‘Lay on your stomach with your face down.’
Justin lays down and I ease myself onto his lower back.
God, he smells so good. The scent is different than what he was wearing the other day.
Today, it’s oak, raindrops and cedar, and every bit as yummy as his other scents.
I really shouldn’t breathe through my nose right now or he might have an unfair advantage.
I wrap my fingers around his neck. Dammit.
Later I need to have a stern talking to my physiological system.
It’s not cool the way the warmth of his skin travels up my arms, or the way my heartbeat kicks in my chest. This weekend, I should probably get on an app and see if there’s someone I can take home for a few hours to release this feral energy.
It’s been a good seven, eight months since I last had sex, and it’s clearly messing with me.
‘The first thing you want to do is push your forehead into the mat, which allows air through your nose. If you can’t breathe, you can’t fight.
’ God his back is muscular. I see it every day, obviously, but have never been close enough to see the cut of his deltoids against his white shirt.
Focus. ‘Then, rotate your hips, move into the fetal position, and wrap your legs around my stomach to flip me. Got it?’
‘Got it.’ He bucks me off with a heavy breath, gets into the fetal position, but struggles to get me on my back. ‘Fail.’
Honestly, if he had finished the move, I’d be worried.
I’ve been a dedicated, practicing martial artist for over twenty years.
He’s been doing it for two minutes. ‘Good job for your first try. We’ll keep practicing until you can complete the move.
’ I shift away. ‘Let’s try a different one.
This is the armbar we talked about earlier.
You can do it standing or laying, but lie down on your back this time instead of your stomach.
We’re gonna pretend that we’ve been fighting and I’ve gotten you on the floor. ’
He positions himself on his back with his hands to the side.
When I lower myself to straddle him, he reaches up like he’s going to grip my hips but quickly folds them on his chest. Heat invades my body and pools between my thighs.
This is what he’d look like if I were on top of him, riding him.
He’s fucking beautiful. At this angle, his jaw is sharper, his shoulders round and strong, his chest like chiseled brick.
Jesus Christ. Enough of this. Get it together, Lexi.
‘Okay, ahem.’ I hope to God I’m not being too obvious.
It’s just the lack of sex, forced proximity and the fact that Justin is probably voted the most fuckable actor on a dozen sites.
‘If we were fighting, you’d have your elbows up to protect your face from hits, right? So put your arms up to block.’
He lifts his forearms. ‘Got it.’
I’m trying to concentrate on my words and not the feel of his body, or the definition of his pecs and biceps stretching the capacity of his T-shirt.
This spell needs to break. Now. I push his arms out of the way, set my knee on the mat next to his neck and put my right hand against the other side of his neck.
‘I’m going to loop my arm and grab your shoulder, okay?
This allows me to control your arm.’ I place my foot next to the side of his face and lay backward, with my butt at the corner of his head, and his arm between my leg.
‘Now that I have your hand – and can isolate it with my thigh muscles – I’ll make sure your thumb is pointed to the sky to provide more leverage. ’
He groans. ‘You’re hurting me.’
‘Holy shit, really?’ I leap off as heartbeats thud in my ear.
He starts laughing and throws his hand on his stomach. ‘Sorry, I couldn’t help myself. No, you weren’t.’