Chapter 13
Thirteen
I’m not proud of being crazy, but I’m not ashamed of it either.
—Dru’s secret thoughts
DRU
I’d never been to a morgue before.
I’d seen plenty of dead bodies, of course. But I’d never gone to a morgue specifically to identify a body.
Or, a body that was torn in two.
I stopped Finnian from going back because I wanted to get a good look at Elaine before he did, so I could prepare him.
But once I did, I knew that I couldn’t let him go back.
The woman was traumatized.
There was no way I was letting him see her like this.
I caught a look at the report that was on the chart, and I gritted my teeth.
Fifteen weeks pregnant.
Fucking, god.
That was something he didn’t need to know.
I moved the chart, shoving it on another table in the corner of the room, then covered Elaine up with a sheet, pulling it all the way up to her chin.
He didn’t need to see any more than that.
I was horrified that we’d come in the middle of the autopsy.
If we’d been a little bit later, they might’ve been done and we wouldn’t have had to identify the body in the middle of the worst possible time.
The doctor was outside talking to Finnian about what he would see, but I chose to push everything he was using out of the way and cover her up completely.
Then I started to fix her hair.
That was what I was doing when she came in with him.
The doctor cleared her throat, and I smiled sheepishly at her before giving her a look.
She understood and stepped out for us to have some time with Elaine.
Because it was most definitely Elaine.
“It’s her?” he croaked from all the way across the room.
I decided in that moment he didn’t need to see her at all.
“It’s her,” I confirmed as I walked toward him. “You don’t have to see her.”
He drew in a deep breath, then let it out.
“She’s bringing Knight in here to be with her. So they’re not alone.”
My eyes filled with tears. “They’re not here anymore, honey.” I studied his face for a long moment before I told him what Knight had said right before he’d died. “He told me that I’d lied, you know.”
His eyes snapped up. “What?”
“He asked me to go find Elaine, and I did. But the paramedics had told me that she’d died at the scene.
So I came in and told him that she was on her way.
He believed it for a second, but as the doctors worked on him, and he lost more and more blood, he’d turned to me and told me that I’d lied.
That she was on the other side beckoning him home. ”
Finnian’s eyes closed and a look of sadness took over his face. “They’re together.”
I cupped his face. “And you know what’s even better?”
“What?” he croaked.
“He was happy,” I said. “One of the last things he ever did was smile. He laughed and said, ‘There’s my boy. Octo is here.’”
He inhaled swiftly.
“Fuck.”
I tilted my head. “What is it?”
“Octo.” He closed his eyes as his breathing sped up. “Octo is what Knight called Tavi. His whole name was Octavius.”
I face-planted into his chest. “Then they are all together now. They may not be with us, but they’re not hurting. And Tavi isn’t alone anymore. He has them.”
Finnian made a sound in his throat. “I don’t want them to be there, though. I want them with me.”
I smoothed my hand up the length of his forearm, reassuring him with my touch.
“We don’t get to make those decisions, Finnian,” I said softly.
“We have to just live. No one gets a set time on this earth, but they can control what they do with that time. Live, Finnian. Tavi would want you to, and I know that without having ever met him. He loved you. He would want you to be happy. And, from what little I knew of them, so would Knight and Elaine.”
He blew a shaky breath out against my neck and said, “I don’t want to see her.
Not like this. The last glimpse I ever got of Tavi was when he was in the morgue after the organ harvesting, and I wish I’d listened and never went to see him after he’d passed.
I should’ve remembered him alive and breathing. Not like that.”
I squeezed his hand and said, “Let’s go. We know it’s her. That’s all they need.”
He followed me out then, and I waved down the doctor. “I’ll be right back.”
Finnian headed to the exit, but didn’t step all the way outside.
I waited until I was at the doctor before I explained, “Please, please, please. Whatever you have to do, can you hide the pregnancy? I’m going to arrange everything for my fiancé. We’ll get it done. But please don’t mention that. I don’t think he can take it.”
The doctor nodded. “It’s not something that has to be told to anyone, really. The funeral home doesn’t need to know. It was quite early.”
“Thank you.” I squeezed her hand. “Thank you for putting them back together, too. That meant a lot to him.”
She smiled. “Try to have a better day.”
That I didn’t think was possible.
But we would try.
I’d never planned a funeral before.
Two new things in one day that I hoped not to experience ever again.
When I’d offered to help with this, Finnian had readily agreed, and I knew that was because he was absolutely sick and couldn’t step in there again after Tavi.
Even though he hadn’t said much about his son’s passing, other than it’d happened, and what I’d overheard between him and his ex-wife, I knew that it was debilitating for him.
You couldn’t hide pain like that, no matter how hard you tried.
And every time Tavi was mentioned, or his friends were mentioned, he’d flinch, even if it was with his eyes.
I did, however, get quite a bit of help from Silver, Webber’s wife.
The rest of the old ladies had offered to come as well, but Silver had asked them to stay away.
I was thankful, because I was feeling slightly overwhelmed.
Not because of the women themselves, but because of the way that I felt almost at home.
I hadn’t had that kind of feeling since my own best friend had been on this planet.
It hurt to think about her.
I hadn’t been able to buddy read with anyone since she’d passed, but several of the old ladies were avid readers and loved to talk about what they were reading.
It was a reminder.
Then there was the way I used to go out to eat on random jaunts throughout the area with my best friend. We’d choose somewhere new, wait in line for hours, and enjoy.
Just an hour ago I’d heard Aella and Searcy talking about trying a new seafood restaurant that served all their food in the middle of the table, family-style.
It was a ton of reminders that I didn’t need right now, because I needed to focus.
I needed to get this figured out for Finnian, and I would do a damn good job at it.
Because the thought of seeing any more heartbreak in the man’s eyes was unacceptable to me.
Not that I really knew why.
We shared a trauma bond, sure.
We’d had sex, sure.
But we’d both been a little out of our minds.
I doubted it happened again.
Plus, I just didn’t have the time, and a man like Finnian deserved a woman who could give her all.
Not to mention, what would he think when he learned what my brother had done, and that I still fully supported an almost-murderer?
I loved a felon, and I would never, ever stop.
My phone buzzed on the table, and I glanced down at it with a frown.
Daniella:
He’s with her right now. I’m watching them through the window of the hotel that she’s staying at in town. He hasn’t come home yet. I’ve called him so many times, Dru. He won’t answer. What am I going to do?
I skipped to the next one, reading that one next.
Daniella:
I called in a pizza delivery so I could get them to open the door.
When I slipped inside, they said they would call the cops if I didn’t leave.
They called the cops for real! The cops made me leave the premises.
I went to rent a car and I’m back in the lot, but they keep looking out here as if they know I’m here.
They would. Daniella’s behavior was just like Aunt Jennifer’s. Who better to know the acts of a person with a love disorder than the one that it originated from?
Not that I would ever tell Daniella that.
Hell, I hadn’t even said anything to my mom that I knew that Daniella was Jennifer’s child.
The only real reason that I’d found out in the first place was that we’d blood typed our classmates at school. Two years before, Daniella had gone through the same blood typing class and had come home telling everyone that she was B positive.
I didn’t question it until I was in the class myself, and I’d found out that I was O negative. My dad and my mom were both O negative as well. And, as it turns out, it was impossible for Daniella not to be O negative if she were our parents’ biological child.
When I’d brought the problem to Romeo, he’d done a DNA test on us all, including Jennifer on one of her rare occurrences that she was home.
Everyone from our grandfather to ourselves got tested.
We’d found out that Romeo and I were my parents’ biological children. Daniella had belonged to Jennifer.
Oh, and even better, Jennifer hadn’t been my grandfather’s biological child, but another man’s.
We’d never asked him if my grandmother had cheated.
We’d left that alone.
But we knew that the love disorder hadn’t fallen far from the family tree—at least on Jennifer’s side.
Daniella:
Can I borrow your car?
Daniella:
Why are you not answering me? This is important.
Daniella:
I just rented another car. They’re looking at me funny through the window. I got one with darker tinted windows.
Daniella:
They’re going to lunch. I sat at the table four down from them. I also took a video on my phone. I put it up on social media. Eventually, he’ll have to talk to me, because he won’t like being tagged so publicly.
Daniella:
He fed her dessert. He used to do that with me!
Daniella:
I left early so I could slip into their hotel room and put in a camera. The lady at the front desk didn’t even question me when I said that I’d lost my key. Thank God for shift change.
Daniella: