Forced Rejected Mate (Silver Falls Wolves #2)

Prologue - Rachel

I bit my lip as I paced back and forth, my heart pounding a mile a minute as my more reasonable side tried to talk myself out of what I was about to do.

This was reckless, stupid. I should turn around right now and pretend I had never even considered it.

Except I couldn’t. For once in my life, I wanted to take a risk.

Still, waiting for him seemed impossible; each moment when he didn’t show sending new jolts of uncertainty and doubt radiating through me, making me want to run and pretend I had never considered doing this in the first place.

There were so many ways this could go wrong.

I should leave. I shouldn’t even be thinking of doing this in the first place.

What if he said no? What if he said yes? Why was I doing this in the first place?

Just as I had convinced myself to leave and never do this ever again, he appeared. Tall and lean, with shaggy blond hair, his face sharp, and his eyes a deep brown. He carried himself with a swagger that should have made him seem arrogant. Instead, it simply made him seem likeable, approachable.

Sam Casey. My brother’s best friend, and my secret crush since forever. My heart could barely stay inside my chest as it thundered. I stuffed my hands in my pockets to make them stop trembling. If I were going to do this, then I needed to bite the bullet. That, or I needed to run away.

I searched inside, sensing my wolf. I may not be able to shift, but I could still sense her, could still pull from her strength and feel that connection.

I could feel her soothing presence, giving me comfort and confidence, calming my anxieties that I knew she was sensing.

She didn’t have the same nerves. Maybe that meant she knew something I didn’t.

He was close now, finishing up a run I knew he took nearly every day. I made up my mind. There was no turning back. If I didn’t do it now, I never would, and I would regret it for the rest of my life.

“Rachel?” Sam frowned as I came toward him. He raised his eyebrow as he slowed out of his jog. “If you’re looking for Elias, I think he’s off on patrol.”

I’m well aware, I thought, my heart thundering inside my chest. There was no way he could miss the sound, reverberating like a drumline, but he didn’t react to it.

“That’s okay,” I said. My fingers twitched at my side. I stuffed them in my jean pocket. “I was actually hoping to talk to you.”

He raised his eyebrows as he glanced at me, then looked around at the deserted park, the misty fog still drifting along the ground.

“What’s up?” he asked.

The words stuck in my throat as panic gripped me. My entire body tensed as I tried to talk myself out of this one final time. I could leave and pretend this never happened.

“I’m in love with you,” I blurted out.

Whatever he had been expecting, it wasn’t that. He froze, eyes wide.

“What?” he asked.

I forced myself not to wince. It wasn’t the reaction I had been hoping for, but I pressed on. I needed to get this off my chest.

“I’ve been sensing for months that I think there might be something more between us, something deeper,” I babbled, praying that I made at least a little sense. “I think you’re my mate. I haven’t said anything because I wasn’t sure, but I just…I can’t keep it inside any longer.”

The words trailed off as I lost my voice, taking in the bewildered shock on his face. The tiny bit of confidence I had scrounged up disappeared.

He didn’t say anything for a long moment.

I tried to keep the anxiety off my face, only I had no idea how well I was doing.

I could have sworn he saw my hands trembling in my pockets.

If he did, he at least had the courtesy not to say anything.

I waited, the wind whistling through the park, the only sound between us.

He let out a low breath as he ran his hands through his hair.

“Rachel, I’m flattered, really,” he began. “But I don’t feel the same way.”

The world came crashing down around me, everything shattering into a million pieces as his words tore my insides to ribbons.

“Oh,” I muttered.

“Even if I did, nothing could come of it,” he said.

“Why not?” I asked.

He gave a half-laugh, rubbing his face as he glanced away.

“I’m going to be the pack beta in a few years,” he said, though the words sounded garbled and distorted as my world crashed around me, as if he were speaking underwater.

“I’m going to be expected to pick a strong mate whenever that happens.

You’re a great kid, but…I mean, it’s no secret that you aren’t exactly considered strong. ”

I tried to swallow the lump swelling in my throat as I fought back tears. I wasn’t going to try. I had known this was an option. That didn’t stop me from feeling like I was being torn to ribbons.

“And what about the fact that I think we’re mates?” I asked. This time, I was unable to hide my wince at how pathetic and sad the question sounded.

“Whatever you think you sense, it’s wrong,” he said, shaking his head. “There’s no way we’re mates.”

The way he said it shook me from my grief, shooting a small job of irritation through me. Frowning, I stared back at him, brow furrowing.

“What’s that supposed to mean?” I asked.

He shrugged, rubbing the back of his head.

“You’d be a terrible mate for the pack beta,” he said, still not looking at me.

“Think about it. You can’t shift. What sort of message would that give to the pack?

Whoever my mate is, it’s not you. You’re a good kid, and I’m always going to care for you as Elias’s sister, but not the way you’re hoping. ”

I could barely breathe. I tried to staunch the tears threatening to flood my eyes, though I could still feel them threatening to spill over at any moment. I swallowed the lump in my throat, willing myself to keep my composure until I could get away.

“Right. No worries. I’ve got to get going,” I said, backing up from him. A lump scratched my throat, nearly choking me.

For the first time, something like guilt or regret spread across Sam’s features as he saw me crumble.

“Rachel,” he began, but I couldn’t listen to him any longer. I couldn’t be here. I could barely breathe. I could feel the tears starting to come, and I wasn’t about to let him see me cry. Not after this.

“I’ll see you later,” I mumbled, turning around and walking away as quickly as I could without breaking into a run.

I could feel his gaze still locked on me with every step, but he didn’t come after me. He didn’t even call after me.

I kept walking. Then, when I turned and saw he was no longer in sight, I started running, running as fast as my legs could take me. And only then did the tears begin to spill over.

It was a small mercy that the park was relatively empty this early in the morning, fog spilling over the grass, giving it a pretty, almost fairy-tale look.

There was no one around to hear the sobs over my footsteps, and when I finally slowed, there was no one around to ask why I was crying, no one to find out about how stupid I had been.

I came to a bench and curled up on it, drawing my knees up against my chest as I took deep, shuddering breaths, my entire body trembling.

He could have just said no. That was the worst part. He could have told me he wasn’t interested, and I would have walked away feeling a bit embarrassed, but not like this.

I knew I was considered weak. I knew half the reason the pack tolerated me at all was because my father was alpha and Elias was slated to take his place.

I knew that the fact that I couldn’t shift was an embarrassment to the rest of my family.

I knew all of this. But to hear it said so bluntly, so openly, from Sam made it feel like a knife twisted in my stomach.

His words rang out over and over again in my head, a horrific chorus, chiding me for even thinking of telling him how I felt in the first place.

I let myself cry for a while, letting my throat go raw with sobs and the cool morning air chill the tear tracks on my cheeks. I let myself cry until there were no tears left. Then, I straightened.

This was good, though. I would rather have learned the truth about Sam now.

He’d shown me his true colors, and now I knew.

I wouldn’t have to waste any more time on him.

I may not be strong. I may not be able to shift.

But I had value, even if most of the pack thought otherwise.

I wasn’t going to let myself moon over some jerk who couldn’t see it.

So why the hell had I started crying again?

Weak. He had called me weak. I knew people thought that about me, but hearing it from Sam hit in a way I hadn’t expected. I thought I had grown a tough skin about it. Apparently, based on the tears dropping into my lap, it hadn’t been tough enough.

I let the tears fall, let myself get out the heartbreak and grief, and pain in private.

The tears kept coming, and I didn’t try to stop them.

I would cry over it now, then never again.

Once the tears stopped and had dried on my face, I wouldn’t shed any more tears over Sam. That was my promise to myself.

After a few more minutes, I took in a deep breath, this one less shaky than the one before. The next one was less shaky than that one. And again and again until my breath came even and smooth.

Finally, I pushed myself from the bench, wiped the tears from my cheeks with the heel of my palms, and walked down the path, my head held high. I wasn’t going to shed any more tears over Sam Casey. From now on, I would barely give him a second thought.