Chapter 3 - Rachel
“Where’s the lamb?” Mom asked when she walked into the kitchen.
My knife chopped into a carrot. “I decided I wasn’t in the mood, so I got things for a beef stew.”
Mom huffed. “I thought you were making lamb.”
“You like this stew,” I said, moving to an onion. “And just because you tell me you have a hankering for lamb before I run out the door to work doesn’t mean I’m going to make it. Maybe if you had asked me directly instead of being passive-aggressive, I might have gotten some.”
Mom ignored the jab, moving so she could peer over my shoulder to judge my chopping technique. “You should talk to Sam about that at some point,” Mom said. “Maybe he likes lamb.”
I gritted my teeth as I stared down at the cutting board. “Why would I need to talk to him about anything?” I asked. “And why does it matter if he likes lamb?”
With a dramatic sigh, Mom came to stand next to me, leaning against the counter so I couldn’t pretend I didn’t see her.
“Considering he’s going to be your mate, he should have a say in these things.
That’s how it works. And if he likes lamb, then you should learn how to cook it. That’s part of being a good mate.”
I could hear the glee in her voice, but it wasn’t for me. It was for her. Her worthless daughter was suddenly slated for a coveted mate. All of a sudden, she could brag about it to whoever would listen. My personal feelings had nothing to do with any of it.
I loved my mother, I really did. But she could be incredibly self-centered at times. This moment was one of them.
I placed the knife down on the counter and turned to face her, turning my features into a mask even as I bristled inside. It was bad enough that Mom’s ideas of a mated pair were about as sexist and patriarchal as it was possible to be; she was treating it like it was a done deal.
“I still haven’t decided if I’m going to agree to the match,” I said.
“Why wouldn’t you?” she demanded, her eyes flashing.
I swallowed, trying to find the right words. “I want this to be my decision,” I finally said. “And I don’t see Sam that way.” It was bad enough that I had seen him that way once before, and he’d rejected me. I didn’t want to live with the constant reminder of that horrible day.
“Well, some of us take our duties to the pack seriously instead of ignoring them.” Mom sniffed.
My eyes fluttered shut as I forced my fingers not to pinch the bridge of my nose in exasperation. “Mom, can’t you just leave it for an hour?”
“I’m just saying, if the Oracle says you’re supposed to mate someone, let alone the pack beta, I don’t see why you’re being so obstinate,” Mom said. “Sam is a far better mate than I would have expected you to find. And you don’t exactly see men beating down the door for you.”
“Thanks,” I growled.
Mom took a deep breath and placed the rag on the edge of the sink, finally turning to face me again. “I’m sorry, honey,” she said. It didn’t sound particularly genuine. “I’m just worried for you.”
“No, you’re worried for your reputation,” I fired back.
Mom tutted. “Well, it hasn’t exactly been easy for your father or me when he was alive. Can you imagine being an alpha whose own daughter can’t shift?”
“He reminded me of it often enough,” I said through clenched teeth. “Besides, Elias was strong enough for both of us. Your reputation will be fine.”
“And what about you? Do you want to be a spinster?”
It would be better than having Sam as a mate, I thought. I didn’t answer. Instead, I took the onion and carrot on the cutting board and slid them into the pot.
“I’m happy with my life,” I said, tossing the board and knife into the sink, turning just in time to see my mother’s pursed lips and exasperated expression.
“You’ve always said you wanted to contribute to the pack,” she said. “Well, this would be an excellent way to do so.”
“And it doesn’t bother you that you’ve known Sam since he was a little kid?” I asked.
Mom shrugged. “Means I know him better, given he was running around my house like a hellion when he was younger.”
I bit my tongue and turned to walk out of the room. My mother’s opinion was set in stone. I wouldn’t be able to ever get her on my side.
Part of me wondered if she might be right, to a certain extent.
I did want to contribute to the pack. I wasn’t able to fight against the wraith or anything like that.
I worked in a shop where my boss hated me.
Hell, most people in town saw me as a disappointment and an outsider.
Despite that, I did want to help the pack.
This was my home, and I loved it, even if the people here didn’t necessarily feel the same way about me.
If mating Sam meant that I could do some good for the pack, was it really the worst thing?
“It’s my life,” I said. “I’m not going to just go along with it because the Oracle says I have to. I want to have a say in what happens to me.”
Mom tutted, her eyes narrowing with disdain. “And you’ve done such a great job of running your life so far,” she said. “No mate, dead-end job, no prospects. Here, the Oracle is handing you an opportunity on a silver platter, and you’re throwing it in her face like a petulant child.”
I threw the rag onto the counter. “I’m going out,” I said.
***
The oasis was the heart of the town. A waterfall cascaded down from a rock formation, one of the few with lush greenery covering it, and landed in a beautiful pool of pristine, inviting water.
At some point decades ago, the pack had decided to turn it into a swimming hole.
People came here at all times of the year to gossip, swim, and simply enjoy the beautiful greenery that was so unusual in the Arizona desert.
As the sun dipped low in the sky, casting the water in a golden light, the crowd around the oasis was thinner than usual, though kids still played in the water as parents watched, and a few others swam laps near the falls.
I kicked off my shoes and shimmied out of my loose shirt and jeans to show my bathing suit.
A moment later, I jumped into the water, dunking beneath the surface.
I let the water wrap around me, my hair floating around me, suspended.
The cool water soothed me. Below the surface, I could pretend that none of my problems were actually my problems. I could just let them drift away from me on the water and never think about them again.
Eventually, I kicked off the ground and reemerged into the air.
I sucked in a breath. The air was cool, with winter creeping around the corner, but the water still felt pleasant.
I swam in large laps, darting around the kids and people floating on the surface as I let my mind wander, trying to let it straighten itself out after several days of being a tangle of thoughts.
After one lap, I slowed, bobbing as I stared up at the sun dipping behind the large rock that the waterfall cascaded down. I should probably get home soon before Mom calls Elias and demands he send out a search party.
“Hey, sis.”
I craned my neck around to see Elias towering over me.
“Hey, yourself.” I treaded water as I regarded him. “Did Mom send you here, or the Oracle?”
“Neither. I just finished up work for the day. I was taking the long way home and saw you. Figured I’d come and say hey.” When I gave him a skeptical look, he held up his hands. “Honestly. But at the same time, we do need to talk.”
“Right.”
I swam over to the side, propping my forearms against the side, the warm stone feeling nice against my skin as the water bobbed up and down around my chest. He sat down next to me with a tired huff, letting his feet dangle in the water.
“Long day?” I asked.
“Long month.” He ran his fingers through his hair as he stared out at the water pouring down the side of the cliff. “We haven’t seen the wraith, but we keep hearing tales of weird things going on around the outskirts.”
I frowned, brow creasing. “Really? I haven’t heard of anything weird.”
He nodded, letting out an exhausted puff of air.
“That’s because we’re trying to keep a lid on it.
We don’t want to create more panic than necessary.
People are already stressed out enough. Until we know more about what’s going on, we don’t want to make an announcement and cause more panic.
Not without something else we can give them. ”
I swallowed, glancing away as water lapped around my neck, trying to come up with the right words as a swirl of emotions washed over me.
“I didn’t realize things were that bad,” I muttered.
“They aren’t great,” he admitted. He let out a deep breath. “Which is why it’s important for you and me to talk about what the Oracle said, even if neither of us wants to.”
Groaning, I rubbed my face. “And here it is.”
His hand went to my shoulder, and I looked up at him again. “I’m not going to try and push you,” he said. “At least not the way I know Mom is hounding you. But I think you need to go through with it.”
I didn’t answer, but I found myself nodding speculatively as I glanced up at the sky.
“It could be worse,” he said, drawing me back. “It could be some stranger. I mean, at least with Sam, you know him. I know you may not like him that way, but he has to be preferable to someone you’ve never met.”
My stomach lurched. The irony was that I would probably be a lot more comfortable mating someone I had never met. Except Elias didn’t know any of this.
“Elias…” I trailed off, realizing that I couldn’t explain to him the truth about why I was so reluctant to mate Sam, why I had promised myself I would have as little to do with him as possible. “I just don’t know if it’s a good idea.”
The words sounded lame even to myself, but I couldn’t bring myself to be that open with him, not when I didn’t know how he might react.
“I know,” he said. “It’s weird being told you have to mate anyone, let alone a guy you’ve known nearly your whole life.”
“Exactly,” I said, relieved he was giving me an out. “I just was hoping I would get to lead my own life.”