Chapter 9 - Rachel
“How are you feeling?” Liv asked. “Because between you and me, I’m still seeing those creepy things whenever I close my eyes.”
Snorting, I pushed the mop along the floor as she slid a few boxes of pasta onto the shelf. “I’m feeling okay,” I said.
“Of course you do,” Liv said. “If I had a guy who cared half as much as Sam did when he found out you were trouble, then I would probably be feeling okay myself.”
I raised my eyebrows, making a face at the newly mopped floor. “I don’t know if I would go that far,” I hedged, pushing the mop across a long dark streak.
When I turned, Liv had stopped shelving and stared at me with irritation. “You’re joking, right? Did you see the way he acted when he came tearing down the hill? He looked as though he was prepared to burn the whole world to keep you safe.”
In my mind, I saw Sam charging toward the demons, fury blazing in his eyes, the way he had immediately gone for the imp that had been attacking me. I felt a flush creeping over my cheeks as I looked away. It was because he was looking after me for Elias. That was all. It was all for show.
Then what the hell happened after you two got home?
A voice in my head said with a snide tone.
I couldn’t forget the way he had stared at me when he had held me, as if I was the only thing in the world that he wanted, the only thing that mattered to him.
It was as if the entire rest of the world could burn for all he cared, as long as I was okay.
I remembered the way his arms had held me flush against him.
I remembered the look in his eyes, the one that I had told myself multiple times couldn’t be lust or hunger.
That flush turned into outright heat, and I tightened my grip on the mop handle.
“You can’t tell me that you didn’t notice it,” Liv said with utter exasperation.
Sighing, I leaned the mop against the shelves and turned to look at Liv, who still had her eyebrows raised in amusement.
“It doesn’t mean anything,” I said.
Huffing, Liv sat back on her haunches as she regarded me with bemusement. “What is it about him that makes you so guarded?”
There were a million different answers I could give Liv to that question.
Part of me wanted to explain the whole story to her.
It would at least clear some things up for her, and maybe limit the number of grilling questions she fired my way.
But something made me stop. It was private, a thing that happened between Sam and me.
Maybe it was because it felt like our secret, or maybe it was because I was simply embarrassed at what I had done, or maybe it was because of years of dreading being laughed at for my childish stupidity.
Whatever it was, it held my tongue, stopping the words from coming out.
I bit my lip as I wrapped my arms around my stomach. “It’s still just…hell, I don’t know. I don’t know what to make of him.”
“What do you mean, exactly?” Liv asked.
I drummed my fingers on the counter as I tried to decide how to answer without giving away everything.
“He seems to want to make this work,” I said.
“But you don’t think he does?” Liv asked.
I opened my mouth, ready to tell her about what happened all those years ago, when he had told me it would never work between us.
I remembered the cool, indifferent way he had said it to me.
And now, it was as though he was trying to be an entirely different person, like he was trying to rewrite history.
The second I opened my mouth to try to explain it, however, the words stuck in my throat.
“I don’t know,” I finally admitted. “But I’m afraid that, if I trust him, he’s going to let me down, and I’m going to regret letting him in.”
“He’s your mate,” Liv said. “Why wouldn’t you let him in?”
I glanced away. “It’s just hard,” I said.
Then, because I didn’t think that was enough, I added, “You know, after all the years of being bullied and picked on, I just don’t want to open myself up to someone else hurting me on a more emotional level.
” Especially someone who already has, I thought, but didn’t say.
Liv shrugged as she leaned against the shelf. “I don’t know, Rachel. I saw the way he looked at you when we were getting attacked by those things. He was livid. He was ready to tear the whole horde of them to shreds.”
My mind flicked to the expression on Sam’s face as he had charged in, the way he had pushed himself between us and the demons, the way he had searched for me first, the second the danger had passed.
“Maybe,” I said.
My friend opened her mouth, then her eyes darted behind me and snapped shut. I turned, following her gaze, and saw why she had stopped.
“I’m paying you two to work, not gossip,” Jenson snapped. His eyes locked on me and narrowed. “I don’t care who your mate is. If you aren’t going to work, then you’re out of here. Do you understand?”
“Yes, sir,” I said, not bothering to point out all the work I had already done.
Jenson’s eyes narrowed as he scrutinized me. I could sense him wanting to snap further, but I could also tell that, regardless of what he said, he was still hesitant about antagonizing the pack beta’s mate. He scowled and spun around, marching around the corner.
“Why do you still work here, anyway?” Liv asked when he was out of earshot. “There’s no way Sam doesn’t make enough for both of you, and then some.”
“He does,” I admitted. “But I want the independence. I like having things to do. You know that.”
Liv laughed, her eyes crinkling. “Yeah, you would be climbing the walls all over the place in that big house of yours if you were just there all day.”
“She does that already,” a new voice said.
I let out a squeak of surprise as I all but jumped out of my skin. I spun, adrenaline still pounding through me as I took in the person behind me, who was currently chuckling, a wide grin spread across his face as he looked down with a slightly sheepish expression.
“That’s not typically the reaction I get out of women,” he teased.
“Sam.” I tried to ignore the way my heart flew into my throat and began pounding double-time, neither of which had anything to do with the way he had snuck up on me.
His eyes sparkled as he smirked down at me. “Did I startle you?”
That smirk made my entire body hum with electricity. “A bit,” I said, my own smirk rising to greet his.
I tried to keep my face impassive even as I desperately wanted to grab his shirt and tug him closer to me.
My wolf ran wild inside as his scent enveloped me.
He was the only thing in the world right now, the only thing that mattered.
We were in the middle of a store, but all I wanted was for him to run his hands all over me, to drag me somewhere secluded.
I coughed, bringing myself back down to reality.
“What is it?” I finally managed to ask.
“Figured I could take you out to lunch,” he said. “Assuming your boss will let me whisk you away for an hour.”
My stomach growled, and I glanced at the clock. It was after one, and I hadn’t yet taken a break. And the idea of getting to spend time with Sam was pleasant. Getting to spend some time alone with him actually made me smile.
“That sounds great, actually,” I said. “Liv, will you—”
“I’ll tell Jenson if he asks,” Liv said, waving me away with a knowing gleam. “Just so he doesn’t blow a gasket. You two have fun.” She winked at me as Sam turned away, and I rolled my eyes.
Sam’s hand went to the small of my back, sending new shivers through me as I focused on the way his fingers spread along my back. My heart raced as I thought about what else those hands could do, what I wanted them to do despite myself.
Knock it off, I told myself, despite my wolf urging me to drag Sam somewhere private and see just what skills he had. It wasn’t going to happen. He didn’t see me like that. I didn’t want it to happen.
Eventually, if I kept telling myself that, it would become true.
We had almost escaped when a sharp bark pulled me to a halt. “Thorn!”
I closed my eyes and took a deep breath before turning around to see Jenson marching toward us. “Here we go,” I muttered.
“What the hell do you think you’re doing?” he barked, coming to stand in front of me.
“I’m going to lunch,” I said.
“I’m sorry. I don’t remember telling you that you could go to lunch.”
“My lunch hour was supposed to start over thirty minutes ago,” I pointed out. “I kept working to finish mopping the floors.”
“Well, you’re supposed to clear it with me, regardless of whether you’re starting late or not.”
Since when? I thought, exasperated. Not once had he pushed Alex or Liv to let him know precisely when they were taking lunch, regardless of whether they took it in the back room or went to one of the nearby restaurants.
“If you want to blame anyone, blame me,” Sam said, taking a half-step in front of me, half-blocking Jenson’s view of me. “I’m the one who suggested it.”
My urge for him dissipated with a flush of irritation. He didn’t need to fight my battles for me.
Regardless of my thoughts on the matter, though, it did the trick. All the wind seemed to rush out of Jenson’s sails. His eyes darted between Sam and me, hesitation flickering in his gaze.
I heard a low growl reverberate through Sam, annoyance flickering through the mating bond. He stalked forward until he stood in front of my boss, leaning down slightly.
“Or are you not able to push someone around if they aren’t smaller than you?” Sam said, his voice dangerously low as he stared Jenson down. I could imagine his glare, the way his eyes flashed wolf as he did.
Jenson’s Adam’s apple bobbed up and down as he met Sam’s gaze, a glower spreading across his face as Sam remained motionless. After a moment, Jenson glanced away, breaking eye contact.
“She’s still my employee,” Jenson argued.
“And is she breaking any rules?” Sam asked. “Rules that you enforce on your other employees?”
Jenson snarled but didn’t respond. His entire face had blanched, and he suddenly seemed small.