Chapter Three- Sofia #2
“Are you ready to tell me why you invited me over? I know it’s not to have a beer, because you haven’t offered me shit since I got here.” Yusef joked; meanwhile, I felt horrified about my lack of hospitality.
“Shit, I’m so sorry. Where’s my manners? Would you like something to drink? Or even something to eat?” I asked, hopping to my feet, ready to run into the kitchen.
“No, no, I was just pulling your leg. Sit down, you’re good,” he said, reaching for my hand and gently pulling me back down on the sofa. Even after I sat down, he kept holding my hand. I looked down at the way my hand fit perfectly in his.
“Oh, sorry,” he muttered, releasing my hand even though I wouldn’t have minded if he kept holding it.
Yusef and I had never crossed the line sexually.
I would often fantasize about what it would be like to be touched and kissed correctly.
He looked like he would do things to me that would make me fall in love with him immediately.
I took a deep breath, held it, and released it slowly.
“The rest of my family will know soon about Rocki. I think it’s time.
When it’s revealed that Rocki is really a girl and not a boy, I’ll have no choice but to let them know who Rocki’s father is.
I wanted to share that with you first, if that’s alright.
” I could see the shock on Yusef’s face when I told him that I wanted to share something so secret with him.
“I mean, are you sure? You don’t have to if you don’t want to,” Yusef said.
“No, I want to. I feel as though this will be a form of therapy for me. So, yeah, I want to.” I took another deep breath. Here goes nothing.
“I would have mentioned to you I run a real estate company. By now you’re fully aware that we’re no ordinary family.
So the real estate business is just a front to launder our money, as you already told me you knew.
Anyway, I had this client who wanted to see one of my high-end homes.
It was like two million to purchase this penthouse.
It was a real bachelor pad, with the dark furniture and dark interior.
The client loved it; he let me know he was really interested from the jump.
“Then he said what’s really important is having a comfortable bedroom, because sleep was really important to him.
You know, fine, I get it — who doesn’t want a comfy bedroom?
I thought nothing of it. So I walked him over and showed him the layout.
It had a beautiful view of the city and everything.
” I paused and began fidgeting with my fingers; the palms of my hands were now a sweaty mess.
“Take your time. I’m not rushing you, just breathe.” Yusef said, placing a gentle hand on my shoulder. I nodded my head and took a few breaths with my eyes closed.
“Better?” he asked as I opened my eyes. I nodded my head in response, and I continued with my story.
“I’m not even entirely sure how it happened.
One minute, I was telling him about automatic blinds by the window.
Next, I heard the bedroom door close and lock.
It happened so fast, he literally pounced on me like a wild cheetah.
I fought the best that I could, but he was way too strong.
I was raped, and Rocki was a product of that rape.
I found out I was pregnant two months in; I was still getting my period, so I had no clue.
I didn’t want to have an abortion, knowing that my baby growing in me already had a heartbeat and its legs and arms were beginning to form.
So, I made the tough decision to have my baby.
Every time I look at Rocki, I know I made the right choice. ”
“Who raped you, Sofia?” Yusef asked; his tone was different, as if he was angry with me, or maybe he was angry about the situation and not with me.
The tears came then because I always felt like it was my fault.
I knew it was wrong not to put that person in check when I knew damn well he was flirting with me.
I was so embarrassed, I was so afraid that Yusef would judge me.
He wouldn’t look at me the same, and he probably would want nothing more to do with me.
“I’m so scared, Yusef. You’re gonna judge me; I just know it,” I sniffed, wiping my tears away. My head was bent, avoiding eye contact; I didn’t want to see the disgust in his eyes when I told him the truth.
“Who raped you, Sofia. If you truly believed that I would judge you, you would have never wanted me to be the first person you shared this with. Now, tell me who raped you,” Yusef reached for my hand and interlocked his fingers with mine.
I mumbled my response soft as fuck so much that he had no clue what the fuck I’d even said.
“What? How was I to even hear you, Sofia? Speak up and tell me who raped you?”
“My father’s stepbrother, Francesco. His son Luca was the one who raped me, and he’s Rocki’s father.” I felt Yuself slowly let go of my hand. I knew he would judge me; I just knew it. I should have kept my mouth shut.
“Fuck, Sofia,” he muttered under his breath.
“Why the fuck would you keep something like this from your family? What the fuck does this have to do with acting as though you gave birth to a boy and not a girl?” Yusef asked before he covered his face with his hands.
He was behaving as though he regretted that I shared this with him.
“I was embarrassed; I felt like the rape happened because it was all my fucking fault. I knew Luca’s advances and all the slick shit he said when nobody was looking were wrong.
I did nothing to stop it; I felt as though I had somehow encouraged him.
I gave him the wrong idea, and he mistook it for something else.
I never stopped blaming myself for what happened.
” I paused, so I could catch my breath and gather my thoughts.
All the while, I could feel Yusef’s eyes glaring at me.
“I’m not even gonna lie to you. I’m so mad at you, Sofia.
Like, really fucking angry. Do you not know who your family is?
Your father, your brothers, hell, even Victoria would have killed that sick fuck.
Instead, you keep something like this a secret from your family.
” I could hear the judgment in his voice, and I began to feel as though I shouldn’t have shared shit with Yusef.
“I did not ask you to come here to judge me, Yusef. Nobody knows Luca; he’s manipulative and sick.
There’s something seriously wrong with him.
He told me that if I had a girl, he would fight me for custody.
He knew the baby was his, and he promised me that if I had a girl, he’d want the baby and he would fight me tooth and nail to get sole custody.
He said even if he wasn’t awarded custody, he would kidnap my child and I’d never see her again.
I just did what I believed was right; I didn’t see any other way, so I made everyone believe I had a son.
I was so scared of Luca; I wondered why he would want to have the baby only if it’s a girl.
He’s sick and twisted; I can only imagine the perverted things he had in mind.
I refuse to let anything happen to Rocki.
I’d die first.” I looked at Yusef as he listened closely to everything I said.
“This isn’t right, Sofia. You should have told someone, instead of coming up with such a crazy idea.”
“You have no idea how deep in my heart I felt as if I encouraged Luca. Yusef, I’d convinced myself that my family would look at me with nothing but disgust.” I covered my face with my hands.
“What you’re doing to Rocki is wrong. Pretending she’s a boy, all these lies, after lies, after lies. You’re not protecting Rocki; can’t you see that? You’re protecting that mothafucka, Luca,” Yusef reached for my hand, cupping it between his.
“I know, and that’s why I confided in my mother about Luca. I went to her first because I felt a lot more comfortable telling another woman rather than my father or brothers.” I sighed loudly, feeling a bit of relief to finally get all of this out in the open.
“What did Victoria say? How come Luca is still breathing?”
“My mother was so fucking angry with me for hiding it. Then she was furious with Luca. I remember her getting up to go tell my father, but I stopped her. I asked…I begged her to let both of us come up with a plan on our own. I know my father; he would have wanted to talk, you know, talk to Francesco and Luca. It’s not like he wouldn’t believe me, but family to my father came first, and before he acted on his emotions, he would have wanted to look Luca in his eyes and ask him why he chose to do what he did.
I didn’t want that; I just wanted Luca dead.
“However, my mother finally agreed to keep it just between us. She told me, as a matter of fact, that she promised to figure out a way to get rid of Luca. I just needed to trust the process. Well, her process is taking too damn long for me. I’m sick of waiting, so I decided I should take things into my own hands. ” Yusef pulled his hand away from mine.
“The fuck does that even mean? Do you think you’re about to go after Luca on your own?” Yusef asked, looking at me as though I had lost my mind.
“Don’t you get it? If I hadn’t stayed quiet about Luca, if I had told my father what he did to me.
Maybe things would have been different; my father wouldn’t have been shot along with my brothers.
Because Luca and Francesco wouldn’t have been in the picture in the first place.
” I explained, my voice cracking because nobody would understand how guilty I felt with all of this.