Chapter Thirteen #2
“I’m sure. We have four people here who know how to protect themselves.
And while Granny isn’t exactly a marksman, she can wield and throw a grapefruit with keen precision.
” Something we’d all witnessed in the summer when she’d come inside from a market trip to find a fox skulking around her chicken pen.
Granny had yanked out a pink grapefruit from her bag and then whipped it at the running fox.
It beaned the fox who had been sniffing out her hens.
Off he ran with his fluffy tail tucked. Seems the woman had an arm like Sandy Koufax.
Our gazes met. “I’m so sorry about my flub. It just came out. Are you super upset?”
“It’s fine. Honestly.” She gave my cheek a soft pat. “It’s hard to keep so much locked down so tightly. They all seem fine.”
“They’re going to put things together one day. They’re all smart. Well, smarter than me.”
“Stop. You are incredibly smart, just in ways society doesn’t appreciate yet.” Her hand rested on my face. So soft, yet so incredibly strong. “Now go spend the night with Aiden. We’ll see you in the morning.”
She rose to her toes to kiss my cheek and gave me a not-so-timid push toward the door.
Granny was handing out plastic tubs filled with leftovers.
Aiden and I got some randy winks from my brothers as we followed Dodge and his family outside.
The air was cold. I left Aiden at his truck for a moment to triple-check the doors on the goat barn.
When I knew they were secure, the itch in my head quieted slightly.
Not completely because I knew Aiden was feeling some sort of way, and it was scaring me more than a little.
Maybe he was feeling the pressure from all the boyfriend jokes my siblings had been tossing at us most of the day.
Most had been strained, but as the day wore on, things had relaxed a little. Not Aiden, though.
Even now, he was quiet, which was not his normal behavior.
Lady was seated between us, buckled into a harness made for dogs, and even she seemed worried.
I could tell. Her brow was wrinkled more than a usual dog’s brow should be wrinkled.
I did my best to make small talk. Prattling on about painting cowboys, how the game warden would be out with a large box trap tomorrow afternoon, and then back to the tiny cowboys.
Aiden nodded, hummed, and made little comments as he drove, but he was miles away.
It wasn’t until we were in his bed, curled around each other in the dark of night, that he started to let little bits of things slip out.
“Dodge is a wonderful father,” he said as he ran his fingers up and down my bare biceps. “He never once berated Dahn for crying. Some parents do.”
“Was your mother mean?” The feathery light touch of his finger pads on my arm stalled for a moment before resuming.
“She was…hmmm, how do I describe it politely? She was an addict. Highly unpredictable. Some days she was sunny, others not so much. When she was clean she took care of herself and wore the prettiest perfume. But when she was high…”
He left that dangle.
“I bet she did smell good when she was clean.”
He pressed a kiss to my hair, his fingers moving, always moving. Like mine when my brain needed a scratch to relieve the itch.
“She did. Shame it was so infrequently.” His tone grew wispier as he traveled back in time inside his mind.
I placed my hand over his heart so he could feel a good connection between us.
Like a lifeline if he found himself too overwhelmed in the past. Lady padded into the room to join us, lying down behind me just like she did at home, facing the open door. Mighty protector mode activated.
“My mother had lots of friends and I use that term loosely. Men coming and going all the time, other junkies. Things were a mess to be honest. No one stayed long, not even her. Maybe I’ve been reflecting her in some way? We live out what we see as kids.”
“Sometimes,” I ventured to say, unsure whether that was true or not. “There are some people who grow up in really shitty places who turn out to be angels.” Bella came to mind.
“True.” His fingers tickled as they skimmed the shell of my ear. “Are you thinking of anyone in particular? Your tone softened.”
“Bella was…her past was bad.” That was all I dared to say. What her life had been before we hopped on that Greyhound bus was her story to tell, not mine.
“Well, she shook that off well. Wish I were half the person she is. I’ve carried that mantra around on my shoulders like a toxic cape, unwilling to care for anyone or let anyone care for me.”
I let that sink in. Things were making sense to me now. Things about Aiden, why he roamed around like a tomcat.
“The strongest men are the most loving. Caring for someone isn’t a sign of weakness. It’s a measure of strength.”
He rolled his head to gaze at me. The moonglow fell on his face. He was so handsome, so smart, and so scared.
“You’re one of a kind,” he whispered, reaching up to let his fingers trail through my overgrown hair.
“I think…I think I could be strong. For you. I…there are…I’d like to explore things with you, Ford.
I’d like to try not to be scared. I’d like to see if this knot in my chest when I look at you is love or if it’s just terror. Do those emotions feel the same?”
“Yeah, sometimes.” I rested my head on my arm as my hand splayed over his rapidly beating heart. “I’d really like to explore things with you too. I want to stay here with you, in your life and bed and arms forever. Does that freak you out?”
“A little, but I’m done being a coward. Let’s do this thing then. Will you stay in Bastian Grange long enough for us to see if this love thing is all it’s cracked up to be?”
“Yeah, I’ll be here.” I leaned down to kiss him while offering up a prayer that what I’d just vowed to this man I loved would be a promise I’d be able to keep.