Chapter Thirty-Six
BUCKINGHAM PALACE
By hand. Eyes only. For God’s sake, Vidal, burn it after.
V+B,
The following landed on Caroline’s desk on Wednesday morning, was forwarded to the Private Secretary’s office on Wednesday afternoon, and arrived in my red box on Wednesday evening with a Post-it note from Benton that read, Sir, this one is unambiguously yours.
I should warn you about Sergeant Jenkins of Royal Household Security.
He is a serious man. I’ve known him since I was eight, when he caught me trying to climb the wisteria at Highgrove, and he has not lightened up in the intervening decades.
You will find he has approached his subject matter with the gravity it absolutely does not deserve.
Read it through. We shall discuss over a stiff drink.
Yours in fraternal disbelief,
James R
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RESTRICTED — HOUSEHOLD EYES ONLY
INCIDENT REPORT
Subject: CCTV review, Clarence House. West meeting room, west corridor, ground floor
Reporting Officer: Sergeant M. J. Jenkins, Royal Household Security, CCTV Monitoring Suite
Reviewing Officer: Chief Inspector A. R. Pemberton, Officer in Charge, Royal Household Security
Location: Clarence House, London
Date: [REDACTED]
Classification: RESTRICTED
Distribution: Officer in Charge, Royal Household Security; Private Secretary to Her Royal Highness The Princess Royal; Private Secretary to His Majesty The King (forwarded under separate cover).
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1. BACKGROUND
1.1 At 1647hrs on [REDACTED], this officer was conducting routine review of CCTV footage from the west corridor of the ground floor of Clarence House, in accordance with Standing Order 14/B, which requires the random sampling of one hour of recorded footage from each monitored zone per twenty-four-hour period.
1.2 The west corridor cameras cover, inter alia, the small meeting room at the end of the corridor, hereinafter “the Room.” The Room is fitted with two cameras.
Camera 1 covers the door and the area immediately inside it.
Camera 2, mounted on the cornice above the sash window, covers the remainder of the room, including the Persian rug and the area in front of the bookcase.
1.3 This officer was reviewing footage from the period 1500hrs to 1600hrs on the date in question.
1.4 The footage pertains to two individuals: MAJOR H. R. BEAUCHAMP, Household Division (hereinafter “Officer A”); and MR VIDAL MONTCADA Y SACKVILLE, formerly of the Principality of Cardona, attending Clarence House without prior notice (hereinafter “Visitor B”).
2. ENTRY INTO THE ROOM
2.1 At 1521hrs, Camera 1 records Officer A and Visitor B entering the Room from the corridor. Officer A is in standard daywear (charcoal suit, white shirt, regimental tie). Visitor B is in a camel overcoat. (See Section 4: Wardrobe Assessment.)
2.2 Officer A closes the door behind them. The lock is not engaged.
2.3 Officer A remains by the door. Visitor B advances into the Room and stops in the centre of the rug.
2.4 What follows is approximately two minutes of conversation between the parties, during which Officer A holds his ground at the door and Visitor B holds his ground on the rug.
This officer therefore cannot report on the substance of the exchange, as cameras within the meeting rooms do not record audio.
He notes for the record that Visitor B’s hand gestures were extensive and that Officer A’s posture became progressively less parade-ground over the course of the conversation.
3. PRINCIPAL INCIDENT
3.1 At 1523hrs, Visitor B advanced across the rug towards Officer A.
3.2 At 1523hrs and 47 seconds, Visitor B’s overcoat fell open at the front. This officer notes that Visitor B made no observable effort to close the overcoat at this juncture.
3.3 At 1524hrs, Officer A’s hand was observed to leave his trouser pocket and travel forwards.
3.4 At 1524hrs and 12 seconds, Officer A’s hand made contact with the bare skin of Visitor B’s waist, beneath the open front of the overcoat.
3.5 At 1524hrs and 19 seconds, Officer A bent his head and kissed Visitor B on the mouth.
3.6 The kiss persisted, with variations in angle and intensity, for approximately forty-three seconds.
3.7 At 1525hrs and 02 seconds, Visitor B’s posture against Officer A altered in a manner that this officer can only describe as forward, deliberate, and inconsistent with the maintenance of decorum within a royal residence.
3.8 At 1525hrs and 14 seconds, Officer A’s free hand was observed to enter the waistband of Visitor B’s undergarment and to remain there for the duration of the incident.
3.9 The Room’s cameras then recorded approximately ninety seconds of activity that this officer is not at liberty to describe in further detail in an official document, but which can be summarised as activity inconsistent with the proper functioning of a meeting room and the dignified comportment of a serving officer of the Household Division on duty within the residence of HRH The Princess Royal.
3.10 At 1526hrs and 47 seconds, Officer A appeared to experience the conclusion of the incident.
3.11 At 1526hrs and 51 seconds, Officer A’s forehead came to rest on Visitor B’s good shoulder. (Visitor B was wearing a sling. See Appendix A: Medical Assessment.)
3.12 The parties remained in this configuration for one minute and twelve seconds, during which Visitor B was observed to stroke the back of Officer A’s hair with his hand.
4. WARDROBE ASSESSMENT
4.1 On further review of Camera 2 footage (rear angle, higher resolution), this officer was able to confirm that the only garment beneath Visitor B’s overcoat was a pair of silk boxer shorts of a black or very dark navy colouring.
4.2 This officer wishes to note, for the record, that he has been monitoring the residences for ten years and has not previously had occasion to file a Wardrobe Assessment annexe of this nature.
5. POST-INCIDENT CONDUCT
5.1 At 1528hrs, Officer A and Visitor B disengaged. Officer A was observed to look down at the front of his trousers which had the appearance of dampness.
5.2 Visitor B laughed.
5.3 At 1532hrs, Officer A and Visitor B exited the Room, Visitor B’s overcoat now buttoned to the throat.
Officer A held the door for Visitor B. Officer A then went directly to the staff cloakroom on the same corridor, from which he did not emerge for a further fourteen minutes.
(See Appendix B: Cloakroom Footage Summary, retained on file but not appended.)
6. ASSESSMENT
6.1 Officer A is, by all professional measures known to this officer, an exemplary serving member of the Household Division.
His conduct in the present incident is wholly inconsistent with his record to date.
This officer respectfully suggests that the incident be treated as an isolated lapse of judgement attributable to extenuating personal circumstances.
6.2 Visitor B is no longer a foreign royal and holds no diplomatic status. He does, however, retain a British passport and is, this officer is given to understand, of cousinly relation, however distant, to His Majesty.
6.3 This officer notes that, were the incident to be brought to formal disciplinary attention, it would require the production and review of approximately ninety seconds of footage that no person currently employed by the Royal Household ought to be required to watch in the course of their duties.
7. RECOMMENDATION
7.1 That the matter be referred to the Private Secretary to His Majesty for advisement.
7.2 That the original footage be retained, in line with Standing Order 22/A, in the encrypted archive for a period of seven years, after which it may be reviewed for destruction.
7.3 That all personnel currently aware of the contents of this report be reminded of their obligations under the Official Secrets Act and the Royal Household’s internal confidentiality protocols.
7.4 That the small meeting room at the eastern end of the west corridor on the ground floor be added to the morning sweep schedule.
7.5 That this officer be permitted, on the next occasion he is on duty, to take an early lunch.
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M. J. Jenkins
Sergeant, Royal Household Security
Appendix A: Medical assessment (Visitor B, sling, right arm, fractured radius, healing well per attending physician at the Royal London)
Appendix B: Cloakroom footage summary (retained, not appended)
Appendix C: Standing Order references
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V+B,
You will see, on a careful read, that Sergeant Jenkins is a man of considerable professional integrity. He has filed an honest account of what he saw, with a level of restraint that I would not have managed in his position.
Now. To the matter in hand.
The footage no longer exists in any form that anyone can use against either of you.
The original was retrieved from the encrypted archive on Wednesday evening.
It has been deleted, the deletion has been verified, the verification has been logged, and the log has been deleted.
Sergeant Jenkins’s report has been pulled from the file and sits in my desk drawer in the only remaining copy.
I shall burn it once you confirm receipt of this letter, which I assume you will do by ringing me at an unsociable hour and shrieking down the line.
Caroline, who read it before forwarding, asked me to tell you only that she expects you to bring Beauchamp to lunch at Buckingham Palace on Sunday week and that he is to be addressed, for the duration of his visit, by his Christian name.
I love you, you ridiculous, theatrical, unsalvageable man.
I have loved you since you came down the stairs at Eton with your hair too long and your collar undone and informed me, within ninety seconds of meeting, that I had the wrong tie on for chapel.
You were right about the tie. With the full warmth of my office and my person, I am glad that you have been right about Beauchamp.
JAMS
P.S. You and Beauchamp are to stay away from the Throne Room when you come to BP.
END