Chapter 15
Autumn
S awyer left me standing in my kitchen and marched through my house to the front door. I heard it click, signalling that my house was once again empty. Sawyer walked out as if nothing happened, and I was left in stunned silence while a waterfall was happening in my underwear. I can’t believe I moaned. My own body even betrayed me.
I make another mental note to chastise my vagina. If sexuality were honestly a choice, I would not be attracted to that beast. I hate to admit it, but it felt nice to be wanted. Although I should have feared him, I felt relaxed in his presence. What is wrong with me? Do I need some kind of doctor? Maybe I need to see a shrink? Or do I just need to get laid?
I need to get a grip on myself. This man has openly admitted to stalking me, or at the very least watching me, for the last few weeks. Maybe each time I saw him, it wasn’t really a coincidence at all? Instead of calling the police, all I can think about is how exciting it is and all the things I want to do to him. This is some TV documentary shit. Do I have some form of Stockholm Syndrome? Is that how Stockholm Syndrome works? Can I get that from a stalker?
“A fat lot of good you were. He could have killed me,” I call out to Jed, who is now back on his bed without a care in the world. I realize, after speaking out loud to my dog, that Sawyer must not mean me harm at all. If he did, Jed would have ripped his balls off.
I get into bed, still reeling from tonight’s unexpected visitor, and I can’t stop thinking about his voice, the way his hot breath felt on my neck, and the hardness of his cock on my stomach when he pressed himself into me. I press a hand to the exact spot.
Sawyer has an incredibly deep voice that I felt vibrate through my body as he was talking. There is electricity between us, but I don’t know if it’s the kind that gives me an orgasm, or the kind that electrocutes me.
It is stifling in here, suddenly. I crawl out of bed, strip out of my rugby shirt and shorts, and I am left in my thong. I lie back in bed and close my eyes, and my hands start to wander. I gently run my fingertips between my breasts and lightly pinch my nipple. While one hand is keeping my nipple occupied, the other runs over the softness of my belly and into my thong.
Thinking about Sawyer’s weight pressing down on top of me, my fingers connect with my pussy. I am soaking wet.
I am drawn to this man like a moth to a flame. I imagine Sawyer's intense eyes on mine as he pins me to the bed, and the noise of my own deep inhale fills the air. I open my legs wider until the pad of my finger is rubbing over my clit. Biting on my bottom lip, I arch my back and start grinding against my hand, imagining that it is Sawyer’s fingers in place of my own. Reaching into my nightstand, I grab my vibrating bullet, turn it on to the strongest setting, and start rubbing it against my clit. All I can fantasize about is Sawyer taking me from behind and coming inside of me.
I’m not going to hurt you.
But I am going to fuck you.
You’re going to want me so badly that you dream about it and beg for it.
As I chase my climax, heat floods my body; I can barely breathe. A guttural scream escapes my mouth, and before I know it, I am in the throes of the most intense orgasm I have had in years. My body twitches, my toes curl, and the screaming keeps coming.
This is euphoria. This is how heaven must feel. Coming down from my orgasm, I throw the bullet to the other side of the bed and collapse into the pillow. I’m still shaking and breathing heavily from the best self-pleasure I have had in a long time.
I need to have sex with this man.
I must have fallen asleep. As I open my eyes I see the sunlight breaking through the crack left open in the curtains. I swing my feet over the side of the bed and check the time on my phone. 10 a.m. Wow . I have not slept in this late, possibly ever.
Making my way down the stairs, I pay attention to the floorboards creaking under my feet as I go to the kitchen to make a pot of coffee. The smell of freshly ground coffee makes my stomach rumble. I realise that I am ravenous, so I turn off the pot and decide to take Jed out for brunch.
“Come on, boy!” I say to Jed as we make our way to Edith’s Kitchen.
It was beautifully sunny but cool this morning. I love walking past the small lake and the town square, which is bustling with people today. Sundays are usually quieter, but not today. Everyone stops to say hello to Jed, who is padding alongside me with more grace than he should for a dog with such a large stature. He stops to sniff every two minutes. The dog equivalent to reading a newspaper I was once told.
I haven’t stopped thinking about Sawyer coming to my house last night. I should be more than pissed off and legitimately scared about him admitting to being at my house and watching me, but I feel a weird sense of excitement. Feminism has, without a doubt, left my body, and I would absolutely be the first to die in a horror movie. I am not the final girl, but I am the airhead that runs towards the psycho killer, brandishing a knife at me and giving him perfect access to my jugular, making me die within the first five minutes of the movie.
I am happily devouring my pancakes when Edith brings Jed over some cooked chicken.
“Honey, why are you here on your day off? There are plenty of places to go without coming to work,” Edith says with a light rub on my shoulder.
“Oh, I know, Edith. But… I know the food is good. The coffee is great, and Jed is welcome. The best bit, however, is that it’s free!” I laugh as Jed takes bits of chicken out of my hand. Edith rolls her eyes at me and wanders back behind the counter.
I look out into the square and see Alice running across the street with a handful of bags. I get up from my seat, tap on the window, and wave her over.
“Hey, Autumn! What is wrong? Is everything okay?” Alice says, slightly out of breath and looking at me quizzically. This girl knows me better than I know myself.
“I don’t know.” I let out a big sigh and give Alice a sheepish look as she parks herself into the seat next to mine. Without needing to be asked, Edith brings two coffees and huge slabs of cake back over to the table and more chicken for Jed. I spend the next ten minutes explaining everything to Alice about last night’s visit with Sawyer.
“Okay. So, this guy openly admitted to watching you or following you or some shit? Pressed his massive hard-on into your stomach, then left again?” Alice asks, non-judgmentally, of course. She isn’t looking at me, though, because she’s too busy fussing over Jed.
“I didn’t say it was massive.” I laugh. “You added that bit in yourself.” I joke, of course, because it felt pretty massive to me.
“Autumn. Be careful with this guy. I know you are a big girl and can look after yourself, but this is obviously not a normal way to meet somebody. You are not a reckless woman, but I think his hotness is clouding your judgement. You should be more concerned about this than you are, and I don’t necessarily think he’s dangerous, but he’s clearly not a saint either.”
I say nothing, and Alice takes a breath and swallows a mouthful of coffee.
“Selfishly, I don’t want you to get murdered because, honestly, you were one of the only reasons I came here to begin with. If you get yourself killed, I will bring you back from the dead to kill you again myself!” She is laughing now. “This man is going to change you, Autumn. I can’t tell if it’s going to be in a good or bad way, but he’s absolutely going to change you!”
I know that Alice is right, and I need to have a word with myself. This is not me at all. I am chasing the crumbs around the plate with my fork, not adding to the conversation. I don’t have much to add now that I know her feelings on the topic. I don’t know why I was expecting her to act like this was all normal, but I feel sad that she isn’t jumping up and down with glee over something dangerously exciting happening to me. Emphasis on the dangerous.
Then I remind myself again that Alice would be the final girl, and I would be the airhead that gets killed after the first five minutes of the horror movie.
Honestly, if this conversation were happening the other way around, I would not be the least bit surprised. Alice has a way more adventurous dating life than I do. This is completely unheard of for me, so it makes it even more ridiculous.
“Autumn, I have to go, but this conversation isn’t over.” She taps the table with her fingertips. I can tell that Alice is trying to balance the big sister act with wanting me to get laid so desperately that she’d endorse a stalker.
She gets up and leaves. I feel the breeze rush in from the outside as the door swings shut.
Edith comes over to the table and takes the plates away from us, humming a song under her breath as she goes.
“Autumn, honey. There is a man here to see you. The devilishly handsome one over there.” Of course, Edith points to Sawyer and flashes me a mischievous grin.