PROLOGUE #2
We’d been through this so many times that Grandma knew the drill.
She accepted the charges and, without missing a beat, asked how long we’d been alone and what we needed.
When I explained about the utilities and rent being past due, she sighed, but when I told her we were out of formula for the baby, she said the same thing she always did.
“I’m sure your mom is trying her best, sugar.”
“Maybe so, but once again, that’s just not good enough. Can you come get us, or do we need to call CPS?”
“I’ll be there by lunch tomorrow.”
◆◆◆
FOUR YEARS AGO
ZANE
“Who ate my yogurt?” I heard Mindy shriek from the kitchen. When she yelled in that tone, it made every nerve in my body thrum, and she knew that. I had a feeling that’s why she did it.
All the fucking time.
She threw the bedroom door open and flipped on the light, not caring that I’d only been asleep for a few hours after running three calls last night. At her loudest volume possible, she yelled, “Did you eat my yogurt?”
“What the fuck, Mindy?”
“Did you?”
“You know I hate that organic shit you buy.”
“That’s why I buy it - so you won’t eat it. But you know who will?”
“Turn the light off, and let me sleep.”
“If I turn the light off, you’ll ignore me.”
“ Because I need to fucking sleep !”
“Don’t yell at me when you know you’re in the wrong. I told you that I didn’t want God and everybody to have a key to this house, but you had to give one to your sister and one to Xavier and one to Paxton . . .”
“Don’t forget about my parents. They’ve each got one too.”
“So does half the goddamn town! Why do all these people insist on coming into a place where they know they’re not welcome, Zane?”
I knew I wasn’t going to get any sleep at this point, so I sat up and slipped on my running shoes and then walked into the closet to grab a shirt.
I came back and grabbed my phone from the nightstand, and with my back to Mindy, I pulled up my camera so I could start recording.
Once I had it propped up against the lamp and made sure there was a view of the entire bedroom, I turned to face Mindy and said, “Get the fuck out.”
“What?”
“You heard me.Get.Out.Of my.House.”
“You can’t kick me out!”
“You don’t live here, Mindy, so I can ask you to leave whenever I want. And I want you to leave right now.”
“Bullshit! Everyone knows that I live here!”
“No, anyone that knows us knows that you don’t live here.
You stay here once or twice a week, depending on how our time off coordinates.
You don’t get mail here, you don’t put anything toward the bills, and you don’t have any possessions here other than what’s in that bag you bring when you stay the night.
At the most, you have food in the refrigerator, but it usually expires before you have a chance to eat it, which is what happened to your fucking yogurt.
That shit went out of date over a week ago, so I threw it out. ”
“You did that on purpose!” Mindy hissed.
“What?”
“You made me think it was your sister who ate my food instead of just telling me that.”
“ My sister has a goddamn name, Mindy.”
“I know she does, but she hates me, so I refuse to use it.”
“Do you know why she hates you?”
“So you’re admitting that it’s true.”
“It ain’t my fight. She can’t stand you because you’re a selfish, narcissistic bitch, and she knew that I’d wake up and see the light sooner or later. And I finally have, which is why I want you to leave.”
“You were always so adamant that I never leave anything here. You did that on purpose, too, didn’t you?”
“Damn right. You want to know why?”
“Yes.”
“Because I’m not going to do anything more than pass time with someone who thinks my family should be an afterthought. That’s why.”
“Fuck you, Zane Duke.”
“Don’t let the door hit your ass on the way out, Mindy. Oh! And make sure to leave your key on the counter. I’d hate for such an important thing to fall into the hands of someone I don’t trust.”
◆◆◆
COURTNEY
“You’re going to Rojo, aren’t you?”
I glanced at my husband over my shoulder and asked, “What kind of question is that? Of course I’m going to Rojo!
My family needs me. There’s no way Grandma can take care of the older kids while juggling the needs of an infant.
I’ll hang out for a few days and make sure Grandma is doing alright and then pack up the baby and bring him home with me. ”
“No. I don’t want a baby in this house.”
I slowly turned around and stared at my husband in shock before I asked, “Don’t you mean you don’t want another baby in the house?”
“That’s not what I meant at all, and you know it. Having kids wasn’t part of our plan right now, Court. You know that.”
“Well, excuse the fuck out of me, Chad. I apologize that my uterus and your reluctance to wear a condom got in the way of your fucking plan.”
“It was one fucking time, Court. Once!”
“I’m not sure where you got your sex education from, but the coach that taught our class repeated over and over that once is all it takes.”
“I don’t want a kid right now, Court. I really don’t know if I ever will. I’ve got plans, and I want to travel. We worked our asses off to get through school, and now it’s our time to coast for a bit before we start climbing the ladder, you know?”
“No, I don’t know.”
“That was our plan!”
“I’m sorry if I forgot about our goddamn plan while I was growing a human and then making sure it survived without any help from you!”
“I told you when you found out you were pregnant that I didn’t think I was ready, but I’ve gotten used to having him around. I don’t mind as much anymore.”
“Oh, how generous of you.”
“That doesn’t mean I want another kid around, though, especially another baby.”
“Obviously, since you don’t want the one we’ve got.”
“Don’t make this ugly, Court. Come on. Let’s just end it now before things get worse.”
I looked at the floor for a few seconds while I tried to gather my thoughts, but the thing I kept going back to was that this didn’t hurt nearly as much as it should.
After almost three years of marriage and six years together total, I should be devastated that my husband just told me he wants a divorce.
Maybe that was going to happen later.
Right now, I was too fucking mad that he’d finally admitted he didn’t love our son.
My phone rang, and I pulled it out to silence it. While I had it in my hand, I hit the button to start recording a video and then got back to our conversation.
“Let me get this straight, Chad. You’re telling me that you don’t want our son.”
“I don’t want to have anything to do with him, Court.”
“If I leave and take him with me, you’re not going to want him to come visit?”
“God, no!”
“Not even when he’s older?”
“No. I don’t want that kind of responsibility, and I don’t understand how or why you do.
You spent your life taking care of your mother’s kids.
You should have some time to yourself. Some time with me.
We could build a good life together, get a bigger house, buy a lake house for the summers, and travel abroad. ”
“What do you want me to do with Beau?”
“I don’t fucking know. Get rid of him. Give him to someone else to raise. It’s apparently easy to do. Your mother’s been doing it for years.”
“You want my son to be raised by strangers so we can buy a lake house and travel abroad.”
That wasn’t a question. I was just confirming that I’d heard him correctly because I was almost positive a good lawyer could use that in my murder defense.
“Yes! Adoption’s a great thing. There are a million people out there who’d love to have a baby. Give him to one of them.”
“Just like that? ‘Poof! Here you go! Santa brought you a little boy.’”
“You don’t have to be a smartass about it, Court. We’d do it the legal way.”
“I don’t even know if there is a legal way.”
“There is. I’ve done some research.”
“Oh.My.God.”
“Just listen . . .”
“I want a divorce, Chad. You can have the house. In fact, you can have everything except my SUV, my personal items, Beau’s things, and my son. All I ask in return is that you sign away your parental rights and never let me see your face or hear your voice again.”
“I thought you might choose that route.”
“Obviously, because anyone with even a tiny portion of a soul would choose their child over some pipe dream!”
Chad pulled a folder from his top drawer and reached over the bed to hand it to me. I flipped it open, saw the word “divorce,” and felt something inside me snap and release.
“That’s for an uncontested divorce. I can get us in to see the lawyer in the morning to make whatever changes you want.”
“You already listed signing away your rights.”
“Yes.”
I sat down on the edge of the bed and took my time reading the document, surprised to find quite a few things he’d missed and errors he’d made.
I finally looked over at him and said, “These look fine.
Get us an appointment for first thing in the morning, and let's get this filed before I leave town.”
“You’re sure?”
“I’ve never been more sure of anything in my entire fucking life.”