17.
Z ANE
I looked over at Courtney, who was watching me cook while she was perched on the counter, and smiled when I saw her take another piece of bell pepper off the cutting board. She was more relaxed than I’d ever seen her, and I liked to think I had something to do with that.
Our adventures in bed . . . and the shower and on the coffee table in the living room and then .
. . I shook my head to clear it and pushed those images to the back of my mind for later.
Right now, I was standing at my stove wearing nothing but a pair of shorts with a dick hard enough to pound nails.
I really needed to calm my libido down because at some point, one or both of us was going to need a break.
Right now, we needed food, which I could take care of a lot more easily if live-action first-person POV porn wasn’t playing on a loop in my head.
From the second I met her, Courtney had me ensnared, but when our clothes came off last night, she pulled me so far into her web that I’d do anything to stay there.
It killed me to think that I would have to take her home soon where she had three adorably funny little responsibilities and two larger ones who were just as funny although not nearly as adorable.
“I have a question,” Courtney announced. I stopped what I was doing and turned to look at her as she asked, “Let’s say that you find someone you want to keep around full time.”
I decided to take a chance and said, “If things keep going the way they have been, that’s going to happen very quickly.”
Courtney was quiet for a minute and then admitted, “As terrifying as that is, considering we haven’t known each other that long, I can see it too.”
“It’s not terrifying if you’re with the right person,” I assured her. “What was your question?”
“So, if you’re in a permanent relationship - marriage or cohabitation, who takes care of the finances?”
Without thinking, I said, “I do.”
“So, you control the money?”
“No. Is that what your question was about? I meant paying the bills.”
“I’m asking who would be in charge of the bank account?”
“Why would we just have one? I’m not okay with that at all,” I announced.
“You’re not?”
“No. We can have a joint account for household expenses, stuff for the kids, vacations, and whatever, but I’d always want to keep my own account so I can buy what I want when I want and not have to answer any questions about it.
I know that sounds shitty, but I’m not used to having to answer to anyone about my finances and I don’t plan on ever having to. ”
“Let’s say that the fridge dies. What account does that come from?”
“The household account.”
“What if there’s not enough money in it?” Courtney asked.
“That’s not how it works. I would have already drained my personal account before I let the household account drop to nothing.
I don’t have a mortgage and make enough to easily pay the bills and still have plenty to put into savings and buy shit I want when I want.
We’d still be fine even adding kid things into the equation. ”
“Kid things?”
“Repairs to the house, emergency room visits, that kind of thing.”
“What do you think the kids are going to be doing to the house that will require repairs?” Courtney asked as she tilted her head.
“You know, damage to furniture and appliances, broken windows, fire damage . . . routine things.” I turned back around to look at her when she didn’t say anything and found her staring at me as if I’d sprouted horns. “What?”
“What kind of childhood did you have?”
“One that was obviously very different from yours,” I answered carefully.
“Damaged furniture?”
“Zoey hit me with a kitchen chair, and it broke.”
“When it hit you?”
“No.” I thought about it before I said, “Maybe it cracked a little, but I mostly ducked out of the way. One of the legs broke off when it hit the stud in the wall.”
“Your sister hit you with a chair ?”
“In her defense, I started the argument.”
“Where were your parents?”
“In the backyard.”
“What did they do?”
“They yelled at us for a while and made us go to our rooms. Once we calmed down, they made us clean everything up. The next day, we had to pool our money together to buy the supplies to fix the wall and then learn how to patch drywall. Mom was kind of excited because we had to paint since there was a big hole. Instead of just painting that spot after we patched it, she had us paint the whole dining room a new color.”
“Holy shit,” Courtney whispered. “How old were you?”
“Ten or twelve. I don’t remember.”
“I never tried to kill Liam or Ben. I’ve thought about knocking the shit out of them a few times, but I’ve managed to restrain myself so far.”
“From what you’ve told me about your childhood, I’d assume you were too busy sticking together to survive, so petty arguments like Zozo and I had never even made it on your radar.”
“My kids are never going to have the fears I had as a child. Does that mean they’re still going to try to kill each other?”
“I thought all siblings did that. Are you asking about money because of what life was like when you were a kid?” I asked, going back to our original topic of conversation.
“I guess so. Yeah.”
“You don’t sound so sure,” I said with a chuckle.
“One of my biggest fears is living in poverty again. The thought of not being able to feed my kids terrifies me. I know that I can go without, but I never want them to have to find out what that’s like.”
“That’s perfectly understandable.”
“I don’t want to worry about the electricity or water getting shut off or not having gas for the stove and heater. I don’t want to live in constant fear of eviction or have to wonder where our next meal is going to come from.”
I turned off the burner before I walked over and stood in front of Courtney.
I reached up and touched her cheek before I said, “I don’t care what happens between us.
If you ever need help with anything - a bill, a visit to the grocery store, a new pair of shoes, anything , just call me. I’d help you in a heartbeat.”
“That’s sweet.”
“It’s not sweet, it’s true. Promise me that if you ever need help, you’ll call, even if you hate me. Promise.”
Courtney’s eyes filled with tears as she whispered, “I promise.”
I nodded before I leaned in and gave her a kiss. “Okay, that’s settled. Now, tell me what you think of the bank account situation.”
“Where’s my money supposed to go in all of this?”
“If you have enough to pay a few bills, that would be fine, or you can just put some into the household.” I picked up the cutting board Courtney had been grazing from and carried it over to the stove before I turned the burner back on.
Once I had things going again, I admitted, “I don’t really know how couples’ finances are supposed to work, but that’s how I’d like for things to be. What are your thoughts?”
Instead of answering my question, Courtney said, “I was in charge of the finances when I was married. Chad and I had a household account that he put money in for bills, and at the end of the month, I took whatever was left over from that month’s budget and put it into a market account so we would have savings for the future. ”
“That makes good sense. I’ve considered that myself, but I’m still just putting money in savings like I always have.”
“Chad had no idea I’d been doing that our entire relationship. All he knew was that our lives were comfortable. He spent money on what he wanted and left all the responsibilities on me.”
“I bet he was surprised to find out you’d saved so much.”
“He never found out.”
I looked at her over my shoulder and grinned before I asked, “So, you kept it all in the divorce?”
“He had the papers drawn up and was just waiting for the right time to use them, which just so happened to be when I told him I was going to bring Leo home and raise him with Beau.”
“What a prick.”
“Yes. In the papers he drew up, there was no mention of the market account that was in my name, so I just let it ride.”
“Good girl.”
“Most of it is still there. I took some out to buy my new SUV, but I’ve thought about letting it grow some more and building a house in the country.”
“What are the odds? I just so happen to have a house in the country!”
“I think it’s a little early in our relationship to consider living together, don’t you?”
“Possibly, but it’s not like I’m hooking up the trailer to haul all of your shit over this afternoon. I just think it’s good to get topics like this out of the way, don’t you?”
“If we’re doing that, then I have to ask, do you want children?”
“Yep.”
“That was a quick answer.”
“I didn’t have to think about it. I know I do. I want a wild and crazy house full of family that has loud dinners every evening, popcorn in between the couch cushions, toys in the tub, and a dog that’s forever in the mix.”
“That’s very specific and oddly comforting because I already have all of that minus the dog.”
“You should get the kids a puppy. A cat would be fun too. When I was a kid, we had a lazy dog named Tuff and a cat who was almost as big as the dog. His name was Freddie, and he was fucking awesome.”
“I’ve never owned a pet.”
“You don’t own pets, they own you. You’re their snack bitch from day one.”
“What a glowing recommendation. Now I just have to get a pet.”
I laughed before I asked, “You know what we should be talking about rather than bank accounts and mortgages?”
“How good you look in those shorts and that the only reason I haven’t asked you to cook naked is because bacon grease would be detrimental to the appendage I’ve become very fond of?”
“That wasn’t exactly the direction I was going, but it’s a consideration for next time.”
“What were you going to suggest?”
“We need to talk about how we’re going to find more time alone.”
“That could be a problem.”
“Not if we work together to figure it out.”
“You know what?”
“I’m awesome.”
Courtney laughed before she agreed, “Yes, you are, but I was going to say that I’ve never met anyone as easy to talk to as you are and that I really like hanging out with you . . . so much so that I’ll do whatever it takes to spend as much time with you as possible.”
“Good because I think you’re incredible, and I want to see you all the time.” I slid the huge omelet I’d been cooking onto a plate and then turned around and grinned at Courtney before I said, “Especially when you’re naked.”
◆◆◆
COURTNEY
I’d only been home for an hour when Zane called to say that some friends of his were having an impromptu end-of-summer celebration with a cookout this evening and asked if I’d like to bring the kids and join him there.
It wasn’t hard for me to decide since I really wanted to see him again, even though I’d spent the whole night with him.
Apparently, I couldn’t get enough of Zane Duke, and it seemed like he couldn’t get enough of me either. I liked that feeling more than I was willing to admit at this point in our relationship.
“Are there going to be other kids there?” Alana asked.
“Zane said that there will definitely be a lot of kids there,” I assured her for the third time. “I don’t think you’ll be bored.”
“What if they don’t like me?”
“Honey, this is something it took me more than twenty years to learn, so I’m going to keep drilling it into your head until you believe me.
As long as you’re being a good person, it’s someone else’s problem if they don’t like you, not yours.
The most important thing is that you like yourself. Do you?”
“I think I’m pretty cool.”
“You are cool,” I assured her. “You’re also smart, funny, and kind - three things that make up a great person. As long as you’re true to yourself and you like what you see in the mirror every morning, you’re set for life.”
“What if I don’t like myself?”
“You’re the only one that can change you, baby. Don’t ever let anyone else try.”
“Dr. Hamilton is changing me,” Dayton reminded me.
“No, she’s not. She’s helping you learn things about yourself and all the great parts that make you you .”
“I’m not sure there are many great parts,” Dayton mumbled.
“Why would you say that?” I asked.
“I just don’t like myself sometimes.”
“What don’t you like?”
“I’ve been mean to everyone, and I stole from you. I stole a lot of stuff from you. I even took your car.”
“You did. I’m not gonna lie and say that didn’t hurt, but you know what makes it better?”
“Nothing,” Dayton scoffed. “I can’t even begin to pay you back.”
“Things aren’t important. You are important. As long as I’ve got you in my life, the rest of that shit falls by the wayside, Day. I love you for you, shortcomings and all. The only thing I can ask of you is to do better and be better.”
“I’m trying.”
“And you’re doing a tremendous job. All of us have noticed the changes in you, Dayton, and we all like it.”
“You’re finally nice again!” Alana announced happily. “I like it when you’re nice, Day.”
“So do I!” Beau added.
“Me too!” Leo cheered. “You’re my favorite Dayton in the world!”
“There ya go. Whenever you start to doubt yourself, just remember that you’ve got your own personal cheering section. No matter what happens or how grumpy you get, we’ll never stop loving you.”
“Sorry I’ve been a dick.”
“Just do better and be better, buddy. That’s all I can ask.”
“Where are we going?” Dayton asked, probably eager to change the subject.
“It’s at a park in the neighborhood where his friends live.”
“I wonder if there will be anyone I know from school there.”
“Possibly. He said that there would be kids of all ages and lots of adults. He’s excited to introduce us to everybody.”
“Sounds . . . fun.”
“I was happy to hear Dayton say that. Just a few weeks ago, he would have complained about how much it was going to suck having to socialize with people and basically just be nice for any length of time.
Once again, I wondered how I could ever sufficiently thank Dr. Hamilton for the changes she’d helped bring about in Dayton.
I wasn’t sure that there was any way I could express my gratitude.
She’d given our family a wonderful gift - the young man I’d loved since the day he was born was finally coming back to us.
In the past few months, life had turned on a dime - twice. First, when we started to lose Dayton and then again when he came back to us.
Between all of that, the love I had for all of my children, and my new relationship with Zane, I couldn’t imagine how life could get any better.