19.
ONE MONTH LATER
Z ANE
“I’m beginning to think that you like Courtney more than me,” I whined to my mom before I took another sip of my coffee.
“I do like her more than you because she’d never lie to me like you did,” Mom said huffily. “Now, answer my question. Is she coming on the run or not?”
“As a matter of fact, she is. Lark’s daughter, Blythe, has agreed to watch the boys for an exorbitant sum of money, and we’ll pick them up before we go to the clubhouse this evening after the run.
It works out because Ophelia and Alana know each other from summer camp, so they’re already friends. ”
“That’s good,” Dad said before he took another bite of his pancakes. “I’m sure Lark’s old man will be there since he doesn’t ride.”
“Probably,” I agreed. “It’s getting easier for Courtney to let go of the reins a little since she’s gotten to know everybody over the last month or so. I can imagine that it’s difficult to remember everyone’s names and all of that, but I’m glad she’s settling in. That bodes well for the future.”
“We’re already talking about the future?” Dad asked as Mom smiled happily.
“We haven’t had a formal discussion about it, but we’ve been seeing each other a while. I’d really like to think that it’s leading to something permanent.”
“Are you ready to go from a bachelor who lives alone to being the father of three little ones and a father figure to two boys that have never had that in their lives?”
“I get along great with Dawson and Dayton, probably because I’m not trying to be their father, just trying to be their friend.”
“That makes sense,” Dad agreed. “By now, Dawson is almost grown, and Dayton probably thinks he is. He’s a good kid though. I really like hanging out with him.”
“I adore him,” Mom said as she set her mug on the table.
“He’s so polite and helpful. Don’t get me wrong, Dawson is too, but Dayton just steals a little more of my heart every time I talk to him.
And don’t get me started on that sweet princess and those adorable little boys.
I’m so in love that I just don’t have enough words to describe it. ”
“She just likes to shop,” Dad grumbled. Mom elbowed him so hard that scrambled eggs fell off of his fork, and Dad glared at her before he said, “Tell me you don’t love to take that girl shopping and that there’s not a package on the porch at least once a week for those boys.”
“More like two or three,” Mom retorted before she got up to top off our coffee. “And, by the way, when they’re ready, I’d like for my grandma name to be Yaya.”
I raised a brow and asked, “Already got that all worked out, huh?”
“I’ve decided I want to be called Momo. Don’t ask me why, but I like it. It’s unique,” Dad said as he held his mug out toward my mom. “Your mom agrees.”
“Can we hold off on the grandparent names until Courtney and I have been seeing each other for at least a few months? We’re at six weeks, so we’ve got a little time, I think.”
“If you know, you know, son. Don’t waste any time because you never know what’s going to happen,” Dad warned.
I knew the story, or at least the high points, of how my parents were head over heels in love and then spent years apart only to find each other again, so I understood Dad’s sense of urgency.
The rare times they talked about their time apart, their voices changed and I could see the longing in their eyes, so I knew how sad they must have been.
Mom and Dad had always insisted that we never take anything for granted because things could change in a heartbeat. Something out of our control might come up and rip away what we hold dear. It was a sad way to look at the future, but it made sense when you knew their backstory.
Without thinking, I blurted, “I want to ask her to move in with me, but I’m afraid that may trigger some of her hangups and make her back so far away that I might not ever be able to reach her again.”
“You’ve gotta learn to talk shit like that out, son,” Dad warned.
“We’ve talked about her biggest hangup, and that’s money and her fear of not having any,” I explained.
“You make a very good living,” Mom said in alarm. “Does she think you can’t help support a family?”
“I think she’s more worried about being without. She had a hard childhood, harder than I can imagine, and from what I understand, she lived in poverty for most of her life. Now, she’s worried about her kids experiencing the same thing, so she’s very careful.”
“As if we’d ever let that happen to any of them whether you were together or not,” Mom scoffed.
“She doesn’t understand that yet, but I’m working on it,” I assured her. “I’m not sure how to convince her that she and the kids will be safe with me, not just from danger, but from hunger and all the things that Courtney had to face as a child.”
“I’m telling you, Zane, talk it out. Sit down together and make a plan.
Your Aunt Lisa had some hangups about money when she and Uncle Zeke got together.
Not to give away too much of her history, but she was denied money for a long time, and it made her feel powerless.
It took some time for her to adjust to the reality that as long as Zeke, or any of us for that matter, had a say in it, she’d never have to worry again. ”
“I want Courtney to feel that way.”
“With a stubborn woman, you’ve got to learn that slow and steady wins the race. Like water on a rock. You might not see that it’s working, but over time, you’ll find that you’re wearing them down.”
“Oh, really?” Mom asked. When Dad shrugged, she narrowed her eyes and said, “It’s a good fucking thing I love you, Sam Sam, because there are times when I want to beat the fuck out of you with the nearest heavy object.”
Dad grinned before he said, “Isn’t she sweet? She’s like a Hallmark card written by Samuel L. Jackson.”
I burst out laughing, and Mom growled at Dad, but there wasn’t any heat in it, especially after he put his arm over her shoulders and pulled her in for a kiss.
When he started whispering in her ear, I knew where it was going and pushed away from the table to carry my plate to the sink.
They were still snuggled up as I walked out the door without a word.
Some people’s kids, man - or, in this case, some people’s parents.
In reality, I knew that I wanted a love just like they had. I was already sure that I had it with Courtney. I just needed to convince her of that.
◆◆◆
“I’ll get you a bottle of water if you’ll stand here and pick our cards,” I told Courtney as I handed her my sheet.
She smiled at me in answer, so I gave her a quick kiss before I walked toward the bar.
It took a few minutes to get there since I stopped to talk to a few people I knew on the way, and then, of course, I had to talk shit to Lark who, even though we were in the middle of a poker run, had somehow ended up behind the bar helping Poppy serve drinks.
By the time I got back, Courtney had already drawn the cards for this stop of the poker run and sat down at a table full of my friends.
It struck me then that they weren’t just my friends anymore, they were our friends.
Over the last month, since the first night I’d taken Courtney out on the bike, she’d met almost everyone.
She’d jokingly said that her friend circle used to only include Leti and now it was worldwide.
That was a bit of an exaggeration, but considering how many people she’d met over the last month, it might feel that way to her.
My circle had expanded, too, although not nearly as much as hers.
Now I had a new grandma that I went to see every Tuesday for dinner with the family.
I made time to pop in and see her whenever I was in the area and had a few free minutes.
Conversations with Courtney’s grandma, who insisted that I call her that, too, had given me even more insight into why Courtney was so adamant about being in control of her finances as well as a myriad of other things she couldn’t control when she was growing up.
Of course, knowing all of that had helped me help her adjust to our new normal, which included giving the kids a little more freedom to socialize with other children their age and occasionally spend time away from Courtney, exploring the world on their own.
Just the other day, she called me very close to panic because the kids were all staying somewhere else, and she had no idea what to do with herself.
Beau and Leo were having a sleepover at Holly and Damien’s with Jericho, Alana was spending the night with a friend from summer camp, Dayton was staying at Jewel’s with her son Max, and Dawson was camping at the lake with his friends.
Courtney was almost frantic at the thought of something happening to one of the kids while they were away, and it seemed like nothing I could say would make it any better.
I was on the scene of a wreck that was going to take a few hours to finish up, and as much as it sucked, I couldn’t go to her, which was exactly what I wanted to do.
Since I couldn’t be there in person, I sent in the next best thing - my twin sister. When I called Zoey, she was hanging out with our mom, so two of the most important women in my life took my place on the rescue mission.
When I was finally able to get free from work, I found Courtney, Zoey, and my mom at Aunt Steph’s hanging out with Aunt Drea. The wine had been flowing freely as had the stories, which meant that Courtney had an even better idea of how wild I’d been as a kid.
The thought of Beau, Leo, and maybe even Alana growing up like that both terrified and excited her, but since that night, she’d been much more chill about letting the kids spend time with members of our extended family with the hope that they’d have memories to look back on like my sister and I did.