Chapter 12
Jayna left with Nick and Jessica, and Derek heaved a sigh of relief. The woman was full of herself. Her latest idea was downright ridiculous. A surprise wedding? She hadn’t so much asked but told him that he was helping. This presented him with Problem #1: What did he know about weddings besides the fact that they were great places to pick up women, as Jayna had bluntly pointed out? He really hoped this didn’t blow up in Nick’s face, but that was a very real possibility.
Why did Jayna have to butt into their conversation tonight? He couldn’t stand the woman. And if she had zero faith in his ability not to ruin the event, why was she so insistent on his participation?
Which led him to Problem #2: Jayna was also helping. Insert eye roll here. He chugged the rest of the whiskey in his glass and held it up as the server walked past, ordering another and a pound of medium wings. No way was he going to let Jayna be right. He was going to step up to the task and help Nick create an incredible wedding.
This led to Problem #3: the bar was almost empty, and he had too much to drink. He needed a ride home.
The chair across from him scraped loudly, and he glanced up as his oldest brother Ian sat down.
“Can I please have a beer, Ivy, and a pound of wings as well? But make mine mild,” Ian called over his shoulder.
“Wuss,” Derek taunted.
“I have a delicate stomach and nothing to prove.”
“I eat hot wings because I like ‘em, not to prove anything to anyone. ”
“Yeah, okay, Dare. Everything is a competition with you.”
Derek waved to the server. “Ivy, could you make my order of wings hot, please?”
“See!” Ian threw both his hands up in the air.
“Whatever, you’re still a wuss. Delicate stomach,” Derek chided his brother.
“So, my wife isn’t too happy with you.” Ian was starting to sound more and more like their father.
“What else is new?”
“Of all the women you can date, can you please stop asking out her stylists? She is tired of hearing how you stand them up. And I’m tired of hearing her complain about you.” Ian’s left eyebrow shot up, all holier-than-thou, exactly like their father.
“Tell Vanessa to stop hiring hot stylists,” Derek offered as the server set down his drink.
“I’ll be back with your wings.” Ivy set a bottle of beer in front of Ian, along with two glasses of water.
“Thanks, Ivy.” Ian smiled at the woman and lifted the beer bottle to his lips, taking a long swallow. “Vanessa recommends finding a new salon. Hank’s Barber Shop was a suggestion.”
“The only hairstyle Hank knows is the military cut. No way am I sitting in his chair.” Derek lifted the low tumbler of whiskey and took a sip.
“It would be an improvement over the next one you’ll get from Vanessa. She’s threatening a reverse mohawk.”
“Tell Vanessa that she doesn’t need to worry. I’m taking a break from dating.”
“Whoa? How many whiskeys have you had?”
“A few too many.”
“I’d say!” Ian reached across and grabbed Derek’s keys off the table, sticking them in his pocket. “I’ll be keeping these until tomorrow.”
Two plates were set on the table in front of them. Derek picked up a wing and waved it at Ian’s plate. “Once you’re finished with your wimpy wings, could you give me a lift home, then?”
“Sure.” Ian sucked the meat off the wing and pulled out a clean bone. Show-off.
Derek stuck a wing in his mouth and immediately felt the heat. Had Patty raised the Scoville scale of his hot sauce? A burning sensation spread across his lips, and his nose started to run.
“Spicy?” Ian raised an eyebrow in such an annoying, I-told-you-so way.
“Not bad.” His voice was raspy, and his breath was heated. He eyed the tall glass of water in front of him and wanted to grab it so badly. He wouldn’t give Ian the satisfaction. Instead, he took a swig of whiskey, which just added to the burn.
“That’s why you have sweat beading on your upper lip.” Ian pointed and chuckled, then went straight for the jugular. “What’s up between you and Tommy?”
Derek rolled his eyes. “That’s complicated.”
“Do you still blame yourself for backing out on enlisting with him?” Ian was not holding back.
“If I’d been there, I could have protected him.” He licked his fiery lips.
“Or we could have lost you both.” Ian shook his head sadly.
“I should have been there, not him. It was my stupid idea in the first place.” Derek stared directly at his brother, who was five years older. They had never seen eye to eye. Ian, always responsible, acted more like a parent than a sibling.
“Tommy loved everything about the army. He stayed in the cadets long after you quit.” Ian offered him a valid excuse. However, if he hadn’t quit, hadn’t bailed, then Tommy wouldn’t have been alone in such a hostile, unforgiving place.
Derek leaned his elbows on the table. This talk was getting serious and honest. He needed to own it. “I kissed her, Ian.”
“Kissed who?”
Kissed who? Only the one woman who was off-limits. She was number one on the untouchable list and topped the ‘don’t even think about it’ list. But he’d bunched up both lists and set them on fire. Derek destroyed not only the list but also the relationship with his twin.
It wasn’t just that one time. Everything that he touched he broke. He’d busted toys, pushed boundaries, and broken promises. And Tommy had always been the one who got them out of the messes that Derek caused.
“I kissed Leighton. The night of the harvest dance, the night before Tommy was taken captive.” Wow, it sounded even uglier spoken out loud than it did on constant replay in his head.
Ian’s mouth opened and closed. He’d caused his brother to be at a loss for words. His brother was never at a loss for words.
Clearing his throat, Ian finally spoke. “Well, that explains it.”
“Tommy spent three years locked away, hating me.”
“Can’t say I blame him.” Ian sat back in his chair. “But I can’t say that I’m surprised either. It was blatantly obvious that you had a thing for Leighton too.”
Derek’s brow creased. “I wouldn’t say blatant.”
Ian gave a head nod that somehow conveyed both acknowledgment and sarcasm simultaneously.
Derek sent his brother yet another eye roll. His younger brother Ben, who had perfected the eye roll, would be impressed. “I shouldn’t have acted on it, though.”
“That is true, but then you wouldn’t be you,” Ian stated.
“What the hell does that mean?” He stared at his brother.
“It means that you’re impulsive. It’s just who you are.” Ian shifted in his chair and sighed, continuing in a softer, less condescending voice. “Derek, you screwed up and made a mistake. You need to apologize to Tommy.”
“Yeah.” The word sorry was never easy for him to say. But Ian was right, it was time to fix his latest mess. “What if he doesn’t want to hear it? I have no idea what to say or how to say it.”
“Amazing! I can’t believe you’re an actual adult now who still can’t grasp the concept of a basic apology. It really isn’t rocket science, Derek,” Ian let out a heavy breath, his tone turning back to the lecturer. “Take responsibility for your actions. Be sincere. Tell him you screwed up, that you were wrong.”
Again, Ian was right. He needed to apologize. If only saying sorry didn’t leave such a bad taste in his mouth. “I’m not very good at admitting I was wrong. ”
“Well, that’s a shocker,” Ian chuckled. “Derek, the daredevil, admitting he’s not infallible.”
“Alright, I’ll give it a shot. Thanks, Ian.”
“Just remember, actions speak louder than words. Show him you’re sincere through your behavior, not just your apology. In other words, don’t act like your normal asshole self.”
“I appreciate the advice, even if it’s coming from Mr. Responsible.” He shot his brother an annoyed glance. There was a smear of sauce on the side of Ian’s mouth, and he almost pointed it out. Almost, but then he decided to act like his asshole self and let Ian discover it on his own.
Ian grinned. “Someone needs to be the responsible one in this family. It’s clearly not going to be you.”
Ian turned to look at the big screen as cheers erupted behind him. A wicked smile lifted the corners of Derek’s mouth. He quickly switched their plates before Ian turned back around.
“Hurry up and finish your wings, Mr. Responsible.” Derek pointed at Ian’s plate. “Your not-so-responsible brother needs a ride home.”
Ian grabbed a wing off his plate and shoved it into his mouth. Derek could barely hide the laugh as he watched Ian’s eyes bug out.
“What the hell?” Ian grabbed the glass of water and chugged it. “Did you switch our wings?”
Derek merely lifted his eyebrows.
“You’re still the same snot-nosed, annoying brat you always were.”
“I’m not the one with the runny nose,” Derek laughed.
“No. You’re about to be the one with the bloody nose,” Ian threatened.
It wouldn’t be the first time a disagreement between the brothers ended with a bloody nose or a fat lip, but it would not be tonight. Derek’s eyes followed Artie Kincaide, the only taxi driver in town, making his way to the door. Pulling out three twenty-dollar bills from his wallet, he tossed them on the table and grabbed his jacket off the back of the chair .
“Thanks for the advice, big bro,” he called over his shoulder as he raced after Artie. “Looks like I won’t be needing that ride home after all. Hey Artie, can I catch a ride with you?”
Now he faced Problem #4: Ian had his keys, and the front door of the farmhouse was locked. Banging on the door and waking his father was not an option. The farmer was always early to rise and early to bed. A hard worker, Stan expected the same from everyone around him. Derek had seen disappointment and criticism in his father’s eyes too often, and he was in no mood to see it there tonight. He’d had enough of that from Ian.
The latch on the living room window had been faulty, keeping his sneaking-in-late teenage butt safe. He was pretty sure no one had fixed it. Switching on the flashlight option on his cell phone, he shone it through the window. It had been a few years since he’d last attempted it, but with a jiggle and a tug to the left, the latch gave. With a low-pitched squeak, the window slid up.
He wasn’t as agile or as thin as he’d been at seventeen, but he managed to squeeze through. The hardwood floor was still hard as he landed with a loud thump. That was going to leave a mark. He pulled himself up and jumped. Someone was perched on the floor beside the couch.
“Damn, Tommy. You scared me. What the hell are you doing on the floor?”
Tommy blinked rapidly, and his Adam’s apple bobbed up and down in his throat. “You startled me. Why didn’t you use the front door?”
“Forgot my key, and Dad still yells.”
Tommy swiped a hand across his brow, his chest visibly lifting with the heavy breaths.
“Are you okay?” Derek asked.
“I forget.” Tommy sucked in air like he couldn’t get enough. His eyelids clamped shut. “Sometimes when I wake up, I forget where I am. There was a light, then the window opened.”
Tommy waved his hand toward the front window.
“I’m sorry. I didn’t know you would be asleep on the couch.” Derek eased himself onto the floor next to his twin. “You’re safe now, Tommy.”
“The nightmares won’t stop. Dare, it was really bad. And every night…” Tommy stuttered as the words tumbled out. “Every night, I go straight back there.”
“Give it time,” Derek cringed as the words left his lips. Cliché, but just what was he supposed to say? Were there any right words for the horror his twin had suffered? “Everything is going to be fine.”
“Everything?” Tommy forced a laugh that held no humor. “Nothing is fine!”
Guilt surged through Derek. Tommy had lived through a nightmare, and he had only made it worse. “I am truly sorry. I never meant to…” he paused, choking on shame as he confessed his betrayal. “It was only one kiss, just that one time.”
He felt Tommy stiffen beside him and move away. He didn’t blame his brother, but damn, he wished that Tommy would just punch him instead of pulling away. Moving to sit on the couch, Tommy held his head between his hands. Derek eased himself off the floor and onto the edge of the coffee table.
“It was more than just one kiss to me!” The anger in Tommy’s voice vibrated through Derek.
“I would take it back if I could.” He would take it all back. Every stupid, selfish choice he’d ever made. Especially the one that had him bailing on his brother, leaving Tommy vulnerable and alone.
“Would you really? You always wanted her, and we both know it.”
Derek opened, then shut his mouth. The denial died on his lips. Enough lies had already passed between them.
“I never thought you would act on your feelings for her. You crossed the line.” Tommy shoved himself further back on the couch, adding more distance between them.
“She was my fiancée. You knew…” Tommy gritted his teeth, and the words hissed out. “You knew how much she meant to me.”
Derek ran a hand through his hair. “I did, and I still kissed her. Damn, Tommy, what do you want me to say? That I thought I was in love with her too? That I was so damn jealous you had her? Everything always came so easily to you. Everyone liked you better. Our parents, our friends’ parents, the teachers.”
Derek leaned forward, touching Tommy’s leg. “Leighton was so perfect. So pretty, so sweet, and she liked you better, too. It drove me nuts. But I am so sorry. I would take it back if I could.”
Tommy jerked his leg away and stood, walking toward the front hall.
“I’m sorry, Tommy. So sorry,” he pleaded, staring at his brother’s back.
Tommy paused. “There was a small window in the cell. Every night I stared out that window and watched the sky turn from blue to black. All I had were my memories. They changed each night. I tried to remember only the good ones. And every good memory included you.”
Turning back around, Tommy stared straight at him. “But no matter what memory I pulled up, I always ended with the vivid image of my brother kissing my girl.” His nostrils flared as he continued speaking. “That last video call I had with Leighton, the last words she spoke to me, played through my mind on an endless loop. Derek kissed me, and I kissed him back.”
“It was only one kiss,” Derek said quietly.
Tommy sucked in a breath before exhaling loudly. “It wasn’t just one kiss to me. Not to me! It was you finally acting on your feelings for her. And Leighton admitting she had feelings for you.”
“She broke my heart.” Tommy stepped closer, his eyes narrowing. “But you destroyed my trust and shattered what was left of my heart.”
Tommy’s hands formed fists at his side. “You are my brother, my twin. I have always forgiven you in the past. But Derek, this is too big to forgive.”
He watched as Tommy spun back around, walking through the hall and up the stairs. A giant sob started deep in Derek’s chest, working its way up his throat before coming out in a blast of hot air and even hotter tears.
What had he done?