Chapter 52
“My inability to commit!” Jayna’s mouth dropped open as she repeated the words a second time. He didn’t just say that! “You’ve got to be kidding me! I’m getting a commitment lecture from Two-Date Brennan?”
“Is it so far-fetched?”
“Yeah!” she scoffed. “What are you really doing here, Derek?”
He propped a hip against the counter and scrubbed a hand over his face. “I messed up, Jayna. I should never have walked out of your hospital room like that. I guess I was just frightened.”
“Frightened of what, Derek?” she asked. He’d faced down Sonny, saved her life, but admitting that he had feelings was what frightened him? “Are you frightened of actually feeling something?”
“No, I was afraid of messing things up with you.”
“So, instead of taking a chance, you just gave up?”
He shrugged. “I didn’t want to disappoint you. I didn’t want you to realize that I’m not a guy worth your time.”
“Well, congratulations. You succeeded!” Jayna let the sarcasm flow. “I needed you, Derek. I thought I was going to die. Then you showed up, and I began to believe that you really did care about me.”
Her chest rose and fell. “I told you that I love you. And what did you say back?”
Again, he shrugged.
“You said,” her lips quivered, “that I didn’t know what love is, only how to avoid it.”
He nodded. “Jayna, all I ever do is disappoint people who love me. I’m not a guy worth loving. ”
“That’s a cop-out,” she sniped.
“What can I say, I acted like my idiot self yet again.”
She stared at him, waiting for something—anything—to show that he could be a decent guy, a dependable guy. She wished that she could believe in him. “Do you have any idea what it felt like when you walked out of my hospital room? I put myself out there yet again. I offered you my heart a second time, and you didn’t want it.”
“I did want it. I was…” He threw his hands up in the air.
“You were frightened?” she supplied for him. “And you’re not now? You’ve warmed up your cold feet?”
He nodded.
“I don’t know that I can trust you.” Jayna shook her head. “I’m going to need something more substantial than just your word. Because your word means nothing to me.”
“Ouch.” Derek winced. He looked away for a moment, his shoulders sagging. Jayna felt instant shame at the sharpness of her words.
“You’re right. Up until now, my word has been meaningless. Yesterday, I didn’t deserve you. But today, well, today I do. I will do whatever it takes to deserve you.”
She opened and closed her mouth. No words came out. She was speechless. He’d shocked her. How she wanted to believe him, but she was fresh out of second chances.
“Derek, you saved my life and then broke my heart all within 24 hours.”
After all she’d been through, she realized that she was done wasting time. The counseling was helping with not only finding a way out of the crippling fear caused by Sonny, but also coming to terms with feeling unlovable.
She deserved to be loved and refused to settle for anything less.
“You’ve ruined me.” His face scrunched up like he’d sucked a lemon. “You wrecked me. Turned me into one of those guys.”
“What kind of guy would that be?” She’d bite.
“The kind of guy who does serious.”
She stared at him. Was this the best she was going to get out of him? “Just admit already that you have feelings for me,” she snapped. “Admit that you fell for me while we were fake dating.”
“Can’t we just skip all the mushy stuff? Do we really have to talk about our feelings?” He made air quotes as he spoke the last word.
Jayna pursed her lips and crossed her arms over her chest.
“Okay!” He lifted his hands up in defeat. “I didn’t NOT fall for you.”
“Wow! Sweep me off my feet,” she snorted. “Guess I’ll NOT toss you out on your ass. For now!”
Within a few months, the Neanderthal had actually started to resemble a real man. Give him a few more months, and he might even be able to gush love quotes. She laughed out loud at that thought.
“What’s so funny?”
“Nothing.” That would be a stretch to imagine the ape gushing about love. She’d settle for him being able to say ‘I love you’ without the sucked on a lemon face.
“So, you were really worried about me? I heard that you made Burke’s life hell while I was missing. You even dragged him to Jamie’s workshop for a psychic reading.”
“Yeah, well, whatever,” he stuttered and produced another sucked lemon face. “Just don’t attract the attention of any more serial killers, and we’ll be fine.”
“But it was so romantic the way you rushed into that cellar and saved me. My knight in shining armor.”
Just when she’d completely debunked the entire white knight persuasion, Derek Brennan had to go and destroy her theory that forever love, and soul mates were fake.
But he’d always been that way. No one could tell him that something was impossible. He’d have to prove them wrong.
“Well, I could hardly leave you there. I was just starting to get used to having you around,” he shot her that lopsided, dimple-popping grin. “Tommy pointed out that you’re the only woman who could put up with my crap. Apparently, I’d be crazy to let you go without fighting for you. ”
Her eyes rolled up. “And that’s what you’re doing here? Fighting for me?” She pressed him again. There was a human inside there somewhere; she just had to dig it out. She would probably have to dig all the way to China to find it, though.
“Open your gift.” He pointed to the elegantly wrapped basket that sat on the kitchen island.
“Later.” She kept her hands on her hips.
“Why do you have to be so difficult? Just open it.”
“I’m difficult?” her voice raised.
“Damn it, woman, open the basket.” He pushed it closer to her.
“I don’t feel like it.” She pushed it back. It was the Tequila shot all over again. And she hated to back down.
He grunted and tore open the plastic wrap, pulling out a little black velvet box. “I can’t believe you’re going to make me do this.”
Her eyes widened. No, it couldn’t be. It looked like a ring box. No! And then he dropped to one knee in front of her. NO!
“Jayna, you are the most irritating woman I have ever met.”
Her eyes narrowed. Was he going to propose or insult her? “Says the most annoying man on the planet.”
He blinked, brow furrowing. “You know that I’m not good at this. Jayna, just take this stupid ring and marry me.”
He popped the lid on the box, revealing an exquisite princess-cut diamond ring.
“You’re proposing?”
“Yeah. What the hell do you think is happening here?”
She shrugged, her eyes moving from his stupid, far-too-handsome face to the incredibly beautiful ring. “You don’t do serious, complicated, or marriage.”
“That was yesterday. I changed my mind today.”
“Hmm.”
“What does hmm mean?”
“It just means hmm.” She lifted her shoulders, forcing a bored expression on her face.
“Does hmm mean yes?”
“Damn, you’re so pushy.” A defiant smile lifted the corner of her lips.
“You really have to make everything so difficult,” Derek grabbed her hand. “Jayna, are you going to wear this ring or not?”
Her forehead creased into a deep V. It was a lot to take in. The Neanderthal was on bended knee in front of her, holding a sparkling ring. He looked like he was about to vomit.
This was going to be the best she’d get out of him. “Guess so. It’s not like anyone else has asked.”
He pulled her hand closer and slipped the ring on her finger. “You are so wishy-washy.”
“Wishy-washy? Are you an 80-year-old woman? No one but a grandma uses that phrase. Wow, you really know how to make a woman swoon,” she said, her voice laced with sarcasm.
Derek stood up, dusting off his knee as if the whole ordeal had been a minor inconvenience. “Can you stop making fun of my vocabulary?”
She looked up at him, her smile softening. “For a moment there, I thought you might actually say something romantic.”
“Hey, I got down on one knee, didn’t I? That’s pretty romantic.”
She laughed, shaking her head. “I suppose it is.”
He wrapped his arms around her, pulling her close. “Besides, you like me just the way I am. Admit it.”
“Yeah, yeah,” she muttered, burying her face in his chest. “You’ll do.”
His chest rose and fell beneath her head, his heartbeat so steady and reassuring. His arms tightened around her. She felt safe and protected for the first time since Sonny had crashed into her house. Derek made her feel safe and the realization hit hard and sudden. This man was in love with her, even if he couldn’t say the actual words. He wanted her. He did love her.
“Okay, Mr. Almost-Romantic,” she said, pulling back slightly while still holding on to him. “Can you say the L-word just once?”
“Really? Getting down on one knee, buying a diamond ring—a very expensive diamond ring—and asking you to marry me wasn’t enough?” He lifted her chin and stared into her eyes .
“Nope.”
“Are you always going to be so demanding?” His voice was deliciously low, and her stomach twisted.
“Yep.” Her toes started to tingle. His right hand swept over her cheek. The light touch sent shock waves through her.
His hand moved to her chin once more, cupping it. “I love you, Jayna.”
His head dropped and his lips covered hers. She had no idea how she didn’t collapse onto the floor. Maybe it was because his left arm was wrapped around her, holding her up. This man could seriously kiss. This man who was all hers. The word love flowed off his tongue like it wasn’t foreign or distasteful. He meant it.
He pulled away, grinning, and took his cell phone out of his back pocket. Holding the phone over her hand, he snapped a picture of the ring on her finger.
“Why’d you take a picture?” she asked.
He smirked, pocketing his phone. “I need proof to win a bet with Tommy.”
Jayna raised an eyebrow. “A bet?” Her temper started to rise as well.
“Yeah, Tommy didn’t think I had the guts to propose. And he didn’t think you’d accept.”
“You made a bet with your brother? Is this proposal real?” Was this guy for real?
“Of course it’s real. I’m miserable without you. I can’t stop thinking about you all the time!” His voice was filled with annoyance. “I mean, you are seriously the most annoying chick I have ever met. It’s easier to marry you than to get over you.”
“Wow, Brennan. You need to start writing for Hallmark.”
He pulled her close again, dropping his head for another toe-curling kiss. “Okay, I gotta run. I need to see a man about a dog.”
“A dog? Isn’t the saying ‘see a man about a horse’?”
“A horse? What do I want with a horse?”
Before Jayna could say anything else, he was heading for the door. “Seriously?” She called out to him, but he had already left. Who did that? Who proposed and then ran out the door? Derek Brennan did. It was so typical that the guy never did anything predictable. And it was ironic but summed up the man perfectly.
She stood in her kitchen. He was just messing with her. He would rush back any second. She stared at the basket filled with a dozen bottles of shampoo. Of course, the man wouldn’t show up with a dozen roses.
She tapped her foot and glanced at her watch. “Seriously?” She walked down the hallway and yanked open the door. His truck was gone. Then she looked down.
Her front door mat was gone as well.
With a growing sense of curiosity and mounting irritation, she pulled out her phone to access the security camera feed. Rewinding the footage, she watched as Derek bent down, picked up the mat, tucked it under his arm, and strode to his truck.
“Unbelievable,” she muttered and couldn’t help but laugh, speaking out loud. “Of course, he proposes and steals my door mat.”