Chapter 25
Trill-Land, Jungle Estate
One week later…
Today, I had a lot on my damn mind and decided to kick it with my sis, Pluto.
We was sittin’ out back at her and Pressure’s mansion, smokin’ by the pool while the sun was droppin’ low.
The sky was orange and pink, and it was the type of view that make you stop talkin’ for a minute just to stare.
The water was movin’ soft, the music was low, and we had drinks sweatin’ on the table next to us.
It should’ve felt like peace, but my mind was runnin’ in circles.
I was quiet as hell, and Pluto caught it like she always do. She passed me the blunt, looked at me over her lashes, and grinned. “Alright, what’s up with you, girl? You too damn quiet. Every time you get quiet, I know something is wrong.”
I rolled my eyes and laughed a lil’, takin’ the blunt. “Ain’t nothin’ wrong, bitch.”
“Yeah, okay,” she said, laughin’. “Toni Roc not talkin’? That’s a damn lie if I ever heard one. So, go ahead, what’s going on with you?”
I held the smoke in for a second before lettin’ it out slow. “It’s Kay’Lo.”
She tilted her head. “That man again? What he do now?”
I shrugged, feelin’ my chest get tight. “He been pressin’ me about this baby shit again. I swear, it’s like he wake up talkin’ about it and go to sleep talkin’ about it.”
Pluto smirked, leanin’ back in her chair. “I already know. Pressure told me he been on that. He said Kay’Lo talking about wanting a baby.”
“It’s not even that I don’t want one,” I said, passin’ the blunt back. “I do. I just don’t like the way he keep pushin’ it. He talk to me like it’s somethin’ I owe him. And every time I try to say somethin’, he act like I’m stallin’ or avoidin’ it.”
Pluto nodded, smokin’ and thinkin’. “Girl, you know these Mensah men all about legacy. Pressure the same way. He’s talking about another baby like my body ain’t already been through enough. I told him I’m tired. He talking about family names and bloodlines. I said, boy, please.”
We both laughed, but I could tell she understood me.
Then her voice dropped a lil’. “But I get where he coming from too. You know how they were raised. Legacy mean everything to them. Plus, I think a baby might calm Kay’Lo down, and give him somethin’ to protect that’s not just you.
Even I know Kay’Lo loves hard, but he need something that pull that energy somewhere else. ”
I laughed under my breath. “Girl, Kay’Lo ain’t never gon’ calm down. That man built different. He sweet when he wanna be, but he a wild boy at heart.”
Pluto smiled, shakin’ her head. “You right about that. He definitely different from Pressure, but I ain’t gon’ lie, he love you hard, Toni. There ain’t too many men who will stand ten toes behind they woman like that.”
“I know he love me,” I said low. “I just feel like it’s a lot right now. I’m not sayin’ no, I just don’t like feelin’ pushed into somethin’. Let me get there on my own time, you know?”
Pluto nodded, leanin’ forward. “I get it, but you gotta talk to him. Communication, girl. If you don’t tell him how you feel, he’s going to keep doing what he think is right. You just gotta sit him down and talk it out.”
I looked at her and nodded just to end it. “Yeah, I’ll talk to him.”
Pluto gave me that look like she knew I was cappin’. “Mmhmm. I say that, but we both know talking to Kay’Lo ain’t ever as simple as it sound.”
We both laughed again, but the truth hung between us. It wasn’t that I was scared to talk to him, I just knew how it would go. He’d listen, nod, say “a’ight,” and then still do what he wanted.
We finished the blunt and sat out there another hour, talkin’ about random shit, but my mind was stuck on him.
I kept seein’ his face, the way he look when he serious, and the way he talk when he mean somethin’.
I loved him with everything in me, but sometimes lovin’ Kay’Lo felt like holdin’ somethin’ wild that could break free at any second.
By the time I got home, the sky was dark, and my mood had settled somewhere between tired and uneasy.
I walked through the door, and the smell of smoke hit me right away.
Kay’Lo was in the livin’ room, leaned back on the couch with a blunt in one hand and a glass in the other. He had on gray sweats, no shirt.
He looked up when I came in. “Come here, baby.”
His voice was calm, and smooth and he had that kind of tone that made you forget whatever you was just mad about.
I walked over, and before I could even sit down, he grabbed my waist and pulled me right into his lap.
His hand slid up my thigh, his lips hittin’ my neck like he missed me even though I was only gone for a few hours.
“I missed you,” he said low, his voice deep in my ear.
“I was just at Pluto’s,” I said, smilin’ a lil’.
“I know where you was,” he said, rubbin’ my leg. Y’all talk about me?”
I laughed. “Why you say it like that?”
“‘Cause I know y’all did,” he said, grinnin’.
I tried to change the subject, but he was already smirkin’ like he knew somethin’. Then, outta nowhere, he said, “I went ahead and booked that appointment.”
I frowned. “What appointment?”
“The fertility specialist,” he said, plain as day.
I turned my head to look at him. “You did what?”
He looked at me, calm as ever. “I went ahead and booked it. You been sayin’ you was gon’ do it for a minute now. I got tired of waitin’. They got us in next week.”
My stomach flipped. “Kay’Lo, why would you do that without askin’ me?”
He kept his hand on my thigh, his thumb rubbin’ slow like he was tryna keep me calm. “I already asked you. You just ain’t moved on it. I’m not tryna rush you, baby, but I told you what I want. You know what it is with me. I want my family.”
I sat there quiet for a second, lookin’ at him. He was so calm it almost made me mad.
“I’m not mad,” I said finally, even though I was feelin’ somethin’ deep inside I couldn’t explain. “I just feel like you could’ve waited for me to be ready.”
He leaned in, his lips brushin’ my ear. “I been waitin’, baby. I’m not gon’ wait forever. I been doin’ what you needed me to do, now it’s your turn. You know what I’m on.”
I swallowed hard, my mind spinnin’. He wasn’t yellin’. He wasn’t even actin’ crazy, and that’s what made the shit hit harder. When Kay’Lo talk like that, you know it’s law.
“Okay,” I said low.
He pulled back a lil’, lookin’ at me. “Don’t just say ‘okay’ like that.”
“I ain’t tryna argue,” I told him. “I’m just sayin’, I hear you.”
He stared at me for a second, then nodded slow. “A’ight then. That’s all I needed to know.”
He leaned forward and kissed me, soft but deep. His hand gripped the back of my neck, and even though I was still thinkin’ about everything, I melted into it. That’s what Kay’Lo did to me. No matter how frustrated I got, he always had a way of pullin’ me right back in.
When he finally pulled away, I stayed in his lap, quiet. My mind was somewhere else, thinkin’ about the appointment, about him and about us.
He wanted a baby. I knew that. He deserved that, but somethin’ in me still wasn’t ready to face certain shit, and I ain’t know how to tell him that without it turnin’ into somethin’ bigger.
I laid my head on his shoulder, watchin’ the smoke drift up from the blunt still burnin’ in the ashtray. He rubbed my thigh, whisperin’ soft against my ear. “We gon’ get it right, baby. I promise you that.”
And I wanted to believe him, but the truth was, I didn’t know if I could.
Deep down, I already knew that appointment was just the start of somethin’ I wasn’t sure how to handle.