Chapter 2 #2
“Scooch over,” Harley whispered, and Maureen did so immediately, completely flabbergasted that this was happening.
“My husband needs a seat, and I need elbow room if my daughter wakes up.” Maureen had been so blindsided that she didn’t even see the toddler that was sleeping on Harley’s shoulder.
“Samantha has always been a napper,” she offered as if that explained everything.
Yeah… it didn’t.
“So?” Harley asked in a hushed voice, smiling at her.
“So ‘what’?”
“Never mind…”
“Hang on,” Maureen hissed, trying not to interrupt whatever was happening around her – and frankly it looked a little chaotic at the moment.
For a wedding, there sure were a lot of people frowning and looking around.
“Don’t ‘never mind’ me because I’m confused.
Why did you want me here, when could have just made an appointment?
Heck, you could have come to my office, and we could have talked or… ”
“I don’t get out much,” Harley whispered, pointing at the little girl and holding a finger over her lips just like the other woman. “I have to handle Flyboys, my husband, my daughter…”
“Both are needy,” the woman behind her volunteered openly. “I’m Abbykins – by the way.”
“Hi,” Maureen tossed quickly, and then saw Harley’s smile.
“They are needy, but it works for us – and then we have girls’ night…”
“Which you should absolutely come,” Abbykins volunteered, interrupting again.
“Too soon,” Harley shot back, chuckling. “You’re too eager.”
“Eager for what?” Maureen asked as Abbykins spoke up again – the two were obviously having a conversation between the two of them that she was not privy to.
“Girl, please – nothing beats Glory or Sunny…”
“True that…”
“Who?” Maureen asked pointedly as if to say, ‘I’m still here and still confused’.
“Never mind,” Abbykins volunteered. “You meet the one, and it will be like seeing a mirror whenever the other shows up again. She’s currently in ‘Bama with her husband and Vapor.”
“Water vapor?”
“Vapor-Vapor,” Abbykins chuckled. “Don’t worry – the call signs will feel like second nature soon enough. Trust me, I had a problem with Hot Cakes, and now it’s like second nature. Alpo, Armadillo, Firefly…”
“Met him,” Maureen admitted and paused, “And Inferno.” Both women immediately groaned – rolling their eyes in agreement.
“That’s not the impression of Flyboys anyone needs to start with.”
“Tell me about it,” Harley muttered. “What does Elena see in him?”
“Can I be crude?”
“No – my daughter repeats everything, and I already know,” Harley replied tersely, looking nauseated as Maureen gaped. “I’d like to think that an attorney has a little bit better sense than that, but maybe he makes her laugh?”
“Are we making dick jokes again?”
“Abby!” Harley hissed - and then shushed them both.
“What happened to ‘Abbykins’?” Maureen asked pointedly. “Do you go by ‘Abby’ or ‘Abbykins’?”
“Well, when Glory is around…” Abbykins began, and a blonde woman practically collided into her as she slid into a seat, crashing into a brown-haired woman and bumping Maureen.
“I heard my name – are you the newbie?”
“Yes,” Harley and Abbykins said in unison.
“No,” Maureen replied and then looked at them in alarm. “Wait - I’m the newbie?”
“You scream ‘Newbie’,” Glory replied, winking at her. “So, do ya think he’s hot? He’s got that whole stick-in-the-mud attitude, which is a nice change from his brother, because oh-em-gee, Sidewinder is toxic. He’s like gargling with…”
“Don’t say it or give anyone any ideas – Flyboys doesn’t have that kind of insurance liability.”
“Pshaw – everyone knows I’m joking; besides, doesn’t it become survival of the fittest then? It worked for some fancy-schmancy doctor on an island… I think it was called the Slap-a-hose Islands - which I am never going to.”
“Galapagos.”
“Same thing.”
“Not exactly the same thing.”
“You can give cool-sounding ideas, but that doesn’t mean it works out. It’s like saying ‘flying is easy’ – and that’s true. Flying is easy and enjoyable…”
“You hate flying.”
“I hate the immediate stop that comes with landing - mixed with finality…”
“You have to land sometimes.”
“Not as a human puddle – no, thank you. I beat fate once, and let me tell you I do not have that much good luck. I’ve got my Boo-bear, my little snuggly babies, and my life.
Which means that this kitten only has a few lives left on her calendar,” Glory announced like everyone and anyone could follow what she was saying – and that was not the case.
Maureen was lost. “Huh?”
“Okay, new girl,” Glory continued – ignoring her confusion and intent on making sure she was the center of attention. “We’ve gotta indoctrinate you like little ol’ Abbykins because that was much too easy…”
“Huh?” Maureen repeated, putting a few fingers to her temple that was starting to throb.
“Just go with it,” Abbykins chuckled, and Harley rolled her eyes, smirking before adding to the conversation. “It’s easier if you do.”
“Maureen… Maury – no, no… Reeney?” Glory started, working her way through different sounds of Maureen’s name for some reason. “Maury-Porry… no, that’s not it. Reeney-peeny… ooh, Peeny…?”
“NOOO!” Harley and Abbykins shouted in horrified dismay so loud that Maureen jumped. “Nobody gets a nickname that sounds like ‘Peen’ or anything remotely close to that.”
“What?” Maureen choked out – and then began cracking up laughing. She had obviously lost her mind and was in some nuthouse surrounded by others who were just as insane as she was. “You are not going to… no, no – you cannot call me… well, that. Just call me ‘Maureen’.”
“But if you holler ‘Peen’ in a crowd of women, it gets people’s attention real fast.” Glory shrugged, looking dejected, but there was a glimmer in her eye.
Yes, these women knew exactly what she was doing.
Glory was obviously teasing her, but the fact that Abbykins introduced herself like that meant those nicknames stuck – and the last thing she needed was to be stuck being called ‘Peen’ in town when she was trying to establish her massage therapy business.
Oh, the jokes would write themselves - and so would the rampant sexual harassment that followed every time she turned around.
No. Thank. You.
“The wrong kind,” Maureen stressed firmly.
“Attention is attention, isn’t it?”
“Not all attention is good,” Harley volunteered in sympathy, obviously agreeing with Maureen. “And Paradox is getting started again. We’ve got to be quiet for the wedding.”
Glory leaned forward and hugged Maureen openly, whispering loudly in her ear. “Welcome to the Flyboys – nobody gets out alive, my own little secret Peenie.”
Harley groaned, “I just can’t take her anywhere…”
Abby chuckled. “You’re not right in the head, Glory.”
“Who’s to say what’s right and what’s wrong?
” Glory asked openly even as several people around them shushed her.
“And ‘right’ is up to the owner, beholder, or whatever ‘her’ you wanna label it. Maureen and I are gonna be besties. I just know it! Now, would everyone shush-up and let Sidewinder get married? Sheesh! Miracles don’t happen every day, yanno… ”
Maureen was speechless.