Chapter 13
13
A couple of days or so later, Fleur seethed as she walked along a dreary side road in Brighton, weighed down by training materials and two laptops, on her way to a hotel to deliver a training course. The hotel car park had been fully booked, meaning she’d had to park a few streets away and walk. This had not made her at all happy. In fact, it had made her fume because it happened too often; hotels advertised certain facilities, like car parking, and then, once you made the booking and arrived, it wasn’t quite true because they had a grand total of ten parking spaces all of which were taken by somebody else. That was exactly what had happened when she’d arrived and she’d driven around the block a few times, finally found somewhere to park her car, felt as if it was a bit dodgy and had hopped out with all her senses on alert. Not a feeling our Champo liked when arriving at a hotel. Ten minutes later, she was walking into the hotel’s reception area telling herself by the look of the facilities that it was going to be a long few days.
After checking in, she went to find Cassy who had messaged Fleur to say that she was in the café. When Fleur finally found it tucked down a grotty looking corridor, she tutted at the small room with a bar in the corner and a sullen looking grubby teenager making cups of coffee as if it pained her. She ordered and plonked herself down next to Cassy and rolled her eyes. ‘I had to park a mile away. Grr, every time…’
Cassy held her hand up. ‘Don’t even get me started. It’s pretty dodgy around here, too. Sorry, I should have warned you.’
Fleur shook her head. ‘I’m emailing work and telling them not to book us in here again. It’s not right to have to park that far away. I don’t feel safe when my car is down some dodgy side street. I’m not having it, Cass.’
‘I’m hearing you. How many times have we flagged this? So many!’
‘It makes my blood boil. Anyway, how are you?’ Fleur asked, studying Cassy properly and then frowning. Cassy looked tired and drawn, though, as usual, her makeup was immaculate, but Fleur could see beyond the light reflecting foundation and blusher placed just so. There was something off about Cassy, in her expression and the way she held herself. There was a greyness around her face and a dullness that wasn’t just about lack of sleep.
Cassy sighed and let out a low groan. ‘To be honest with you, Champo, I’ve had enough. I’m absolutely exhausted. I spend my life running around after the boys, and I don’t seem to get a lot of me time; to be quite frank, I don’t even know what that is. On top of that, I’m doing all the housework and cooking. You know the gig. Where did it say I had to do all the jobs when I got married?’ Cassy trailed off, shaking her head. ‘I don’t know. It just feels like it’s all got on top of me. I’m sick of everything, like to the back teeth sick. I don’t want to sound ungrateful. Do you know what I mean, though?’
Fleur smiled knowingly, stirring her coffee. ‘I thought you looked a bit off. I know exactly what you mean. Believe me, I really do.’ Fleur nodded thinking about how she’d experienced her own version of what Cassy was trying to put into words many times before. The feeling of being completely spent, running on empty, wondering how you were supposed to keep going when there was nothing left to give. The feeling had been her daily companion a few times in her life. Thankfully not right at that moment but it appeared that it had transferred to her best friend. Cassy looked as if she’d lost the will to live. ‘You need to get away and do a reset, as they call it. Is there any chance of having a weekend off? Even just a couple of nights somewhere, or could you book a family trip away?’
Cassy sighed, rubbing her temples. ‘I don’t know, not really. Well, I mean, I could, in theory. When I go away on holiday with the boys, I sometimes wonder if it’s just work in a different location. It’s not a break. It’s the same stress, the same responsibilities, just with a nicer backdrop. I need to go somewhere and not do anything at all. Like I mean just me on my own.’ Guilt flashed across Cassy’s face.
Fleur nodded. ‘I know what you mean. Going on holiday with children means you are still playing mum at the end of the day.’
‘I just feel exhausted, burnt out, and that everything is on top of me. Who knew my forties were going to be like this? Sorry, I’m grumbling about everything.’
‘When was the last time you did something just for you ?’
Cassy let out a dry laugh. ‘You’re funny. No idea. Years, probably. The spa thing we went to when we had those seaweed wraps. My birthday but that was me doing all the arranging… I sound so entitled and spoilt, sorry.’
Fleur thought about the demands of their job and the fact that Cassy had three boys on top of that to look after. ‘It’s not easy doing this job and what with your responsibilities at home.’
‘It’s all getting too much.’
‘Seriously, what is stopping you from booking a night away on your own? Twenty-four hours just for you to recharge or something like that. Could you manage that?’
Cassy sighed and stared down at her coffee. ‘I don’t know. Guilt, I suppose. The money. Everything is so expensive. Our food bill has more than doubled. Then there are the logistics. Plus, there’s always that feeling of I don’t know what. I feel selfish.’ Cassy’s voice lifted up at the end as if she was going to burst into tears.
Fleur shook her head and patted Cassy’s hand. ‘It’s not selfish. If you burn yourself out completely, what good are you to anyone? Put your own mask on first as they say.’
Cassy rubbed her hands over her face. ‘Pah! I hate that stupid mask saying. I don’t even have a flipping mask. God, I wish I could just disappear to that spa we went to for a weekend and let someone else do everything for once. I’m not being funny but even when I do go away there is so much preparation to do for it, it’s not worth it.’
Fleur raised an eyebrow. ‘Do it.’
Cassy snorted. ‘Easier said than done.’
‘You could at least look. Find somewhere, see if it’s doable. Even if it’s just one night. You deserve it. I don’t want my best friend getting burnt out. Or come and stay at mine for a night and do nothing but veg out or we could go to a speakeasy or something.’
‘Too late, I’m already burnt out. Maybe.’
‘Have a look into it.’
Cassy sighed but gave a small smile. ‘I’ll think about it.’
Fleur sat back. ‘It’s a shame you can’t pop to Hawaii with me.’
Cassy raised her eyebrows. ‘Gosh, have you booked all of it now? Patrick has booked the rest of the flights, has he?’
‘Yep, he has. We are officially going.’
‘Ohh, I am so jealous!’
‘I can’t quite believe it myself. It’s going to take a while to sink in. Sorry, I don’t want to go on about it after what you just said.’
‘Don't be ridiculous! Of all the people who deserve to be going on a holiday of a lifetime, it’s you. I can’t even remember the last time you went away.’
‘You and me both.’
‘Champo, you are going to have the time of your life.’
Fleur screwed her face up and made little clapping sounds with her hands. ‘I hope so, I really do.’
Our Champo was most definitely going to have the time of her life, yup. There were a few very nice things, she didn’t yet know about, going to be thrown into the holiday; just for good measure.