Chapter 20
20
F leur sat in a café not far from Ben's house and watched as a tall, black fan moved from left to right blowing warm air around the back section of the room. An old couple in front of her were finishing their coffee and lunch, and to her left, floor-to-ceiling cubbyholes held so many bottles of San Pellegrino it looked as if they were multiplying in front of her eyes. Just to her right a little Buddha sat surrounded by various gifts and offerings including a cup of coffee and a huge vase full of faux flowers. Fleur nodded to herself as she looked around and made herself comfortable. It was a lovely little hole-in-the-wall café, the sort of place she loved to find—full of regular, everyday people doing their thing, and not a fancy squash and sage challah bread sandwich in sight.
As Fleur dipped into her salad, half tabouli, half Greek, she thought about how much the episode with Lucy had rattled her. The same had happened when Lucy had come home from ballet school, the hospital visit had completely and utterly taken her by surprise. At the end of the day, though, there had been nothing wrong with Lucy. In fact, the doctor Fleur had ended up speaking to, had confirmed that there was nothing to note, at least not that they could find or that anyone could see. As far as the results went, Lucy was in optimum health. But what was causing the fainting, though? It was a question yet to be answered. Rummaging in the salad for the elusive feta cheese, Fleur thought about what had happened and hoped that the doctors were correct. Really, what else could she do but hope? She’d asked for a second opinion which had reiterated that they couldn’t find anything wrong. What more was there that a mother could do?
She was now near Ben and Sarah’s house waiting for Lucy to collect her things. Instead of making things awkward, mostly for herself, she’d avoided having to go in and be in the vicinity of Sarah and had parked her car not far from Ben’s house. She’d then strolled down the road to the little café, using the excuse that she needed to go and get a bite to eat. Tucking into the salad, she thought how being a mum right from the word go had changed everything in her world and perused how funny it was that being a mother affected so many things in life—things that were really out of your control, but you worried about anyway. Like Lucy having her funny spells, which was what Lucy had started to call them. Ultimately, there was nothing Fleur could do about it or them but despite that, she still worried, a little bit out of her mind.
She tried to push it to the back of her brain and get on with her salad, but all she could think about was how life was always on the edge. The Lucy hospital episode could have been a completely different scenario altogether. Musing and picking at her salad, she thought about a woman she’d met on one of the training courses who had received terrible news about one of her children right in the middle of one of Fleur’s sessions. It was news that had literally changed the woman’s life in a flash and not for the better. Fleur was well aware that it could have happened to her just as easily and she did not like that thought in the slightest.
She forced herself not to pick up her phone and Google, for the tenth time that hour, the symptoms Lucy had displayed—asking Dr Google what was wrong with Lucy had not been one of Fleur’s better ideas. If she searched for fainting or losing consciousness one more time, it would be one time too many because Dr Google gave no conclusive answers.
She must have googled Lucy’s symptoms a million times since she’d been sitting in the waiting room and all to no avail. All of it, in some form or another, only haunted her with the fact that it could be a multitude of things. She’d read through every possible option, and in the end, her mind had convinced itself that Lucy had all manner of conditions—each more bizarre than the last. The incessant googling of symptoms helped nobody, made her worry more and left her brain even more saturated with the fear that something was seriously wrong with Lucy.
She tried to stop thinking about it and instead focused on her salad and called Patrick, who picked up on the second ring. ‘Hey.’
‘Hi.’
‘Everything okay?’
‘Yep, I’m in a café around the corner from Sarah and Ben’s waiting for Lucy to get some bits together.’
Patrick chuckled. ‘What? You didn’t want to go in?’
‘Goodness knows, the last thing I want to do at the moment is go in there and baby worship. Sorry, my inner bitch is coming out. I really wasn’t up for going in there and having Sarah lecture me on parenting now she’s been a mum for all of like five minutes.’
‘Yep, I’m sure she knows everything about parenting now.’
‘Yeah, for sure. Anyway, Lucy seems fine. It’s the weirdest thing. She’s just going to pick up a few bits, and then we’ll drive home.’
‘Okay, that’s a good thing. Did you find out anything else?’
‘No, they just said she’s fine. They said to keep an eye on her. I don’t know what to think, really.’
‘Hmm.’
‘I must’ve googled the life out of Dr Google, asking for something with her symptoms but to no avail really. Although, on the other hand, it could be any number of things that freak me out.’
‘Well, that’s pretty pointless googling it.’ Patrick stated matter of factly.
‘I suppose it is. It’s not brought me any closer to anything.’
‘So, Lucy’s fine now?’
‘Yeah, she seems it. Almost as if nothing ever happened. It’s the strangest thing.’
‘And the doctors found nothing at all? Run me through that bit again.’
‘Nothing. Ran all the tests. Blood pressure, this test, that test, blood sugar, neurological stuff—everything came back normal.’ Fleur shook her head. ‘Which is obviously a good thing, but it still doesn’t explain why she keeled over in the first place. I don’t know what to think for the best.’
Patrick exhaled slowly. ‘So, what are they saying? Just one of those things?’
‘Pretty much. They think it might’ve been a mix of dehydration, maybe a bit of low blood sugar, maybe just one of those weird childhood things that happen for a period and never happen again. Though she’s a young adult not a child. Not exactly reassuring, though, is it?’
‘Not really,’ Patrick admitted. ‘But I suppose, like we discussed last night, if they’ve done every test under the sun and she’s fine, that’s got to count for something. What else can they do?’
‘That’s what I keep telling myself. But you know me, I then proceeded, in my wisdom, to go down a rabbit hole, and convinced myself she had every condition under the sun. Absolutely no help, whatsoever.’
‘Classic move. Let me guess—you started with something mild and ended up diagnosing her with something so obscure only three people in the world have ever had it? Ask me how I know.’
Fleur groaned and dropped her head into her hands for a moment. ‘Exactly! I know it’s pointless. But when it’s your child, you can’t help it, can you? One minute I was reading about normal fainting episodes, and the next I was convinced she had some rare neurological disorder that only specialists in Switzerland know how to treat.’
Patrick chuckled. ‘Sounds about right and how’s she taking it all? Scared? Confused?’
‘Oh, not at all. She’s calling them her “funny spells” now like she’s some kind of Victorian lady swooning onto a chaise longue with smelling salts.’ Fleur rolled her eyes.
Patrick laughed. ‘I can just picture her. “Oh, Mummy, I’m having one of my funny spells!”’
‘Exactly. Meanwhile, I’m quietly losing my mind in the background, trying not to smother her in bubble wrap.’
‘Kids, eh? No fear whatsoever.’
‘None. Not an ounce of worry in her. Which, to be fair, is probably better than her being terrified. But I’d like a happy medium, you know? Just a little concern would be nice.’
‘I think you’re asking too much there.’
‘Probably,’ Fleur admitted with a sigh and glanced at her watch. ‘Anyway, I should get going. Heading back to Lovely in a bit once I’ve got her in the car.’
‘At least you’ll be in your own space, and you can try and get some proper rest.’
‘That’s the plan. Not that it ever works that way, but I can dream.’
‘You driving straight back?’
‘Yeah.’
‘Well, drive safely and try not to overthink it all too much. She’s okay, that’s what matters.’
‘Yeah. You’re right. Thanks.’
‘I’ll go straight to yours and sort out dinner and stuff. For God’s sake, stay away from Google.’
Fleur laughed, standing up and gathering her bag. ‘Fine, fine. I’ll try. No promises, though.’
‘Message me when you’re fifteen minutes away and I’ll get the tea in the pot.’
‘I will. See you soon.’
‘See you.’
As Fleur said thank you to the people behind the counter and then walked off in the direction of Ben’s house, she felt a little bit lighter. Lucy was fine according to the doctors who had said so and for sure Patrick had her back. That would have to do for now.