Chapter 33
33
F leur was sitting on a picnic bench down by the water, contemplating phoning her mum with her news. She’d taken a cup of milky coffee and a few squares of chocolate down to the beach and sat staring out at the water, wondering what drama her mum would come up with about the fact that Fleur was getting married. It was a blue-sky day in Lovely, with a real nip in the air and little white horses foaming on the waves all the way to the horizon. In the far distance, a thin horizontal line of clouds dusted across the sky, and a white speedboat in the distance had kept Fleur’s focus occupied for a bit as she’d observed it bob up and down. She’d also watched a woman with a spaniel sitting on the bench not far from her, reading a book, enjoying the joys of Lovely life. Fleur sighed a little bit as she thought about the call and wondered how Valerie was going to react. With Valerie, one never could quite tell.
Back at the cottage, she turned the key in the lock, pushed the bottom of the door with her foot—the little trick she’d learnt to get the door to open—and made her way into the kitchen. Pouring herself a glass of water, she sat down at the kitchen table, propped her phone up, and dialled her mum. And breathe. After a few seconds, Valerie appeared on the screen, sitting on a camping chair with a denim jacket on, her hair tied up in a bright yellow headscarf, mountains behind her and the van to her left.
‘Hi, Fleur. How are you?’ Valerie chirped, appearing to be happy and full of the joys.
‘Good, thanks. How are things with you?’
Valerie hesitated for a second. Fleur felt a drop in her stomach—what was Valerie going to say? But in an instant, the look was gone, and Valerie beamed and gestured behind her. ‘Yes, good, thank you. We’ve had a lovely stay in these mountains. It’s been absolutely gorgeous.’
‘Oh, that’s nice.’
‘Yes, and I was just saying how much we love life. So good.’
Fleur swallowed. Here we go again about how much she loves her van life and is enjoying it, blah, blah, blah… Fleur braced herself to listen for a bit before she divulged her news. This was one of the occasions where she’d have to sit and take in everything about how amazing Valerie’s new life was. Fleur pressed her glass of water to her forehead for a moment and tried to be calm and cordial. She could already feel her patience thinning, the way it always did when her mum went into full van life storytelling mode, especially when it involved Marvellous Marvin.
Valerie adjusted her headscarf and settled further into her camping chair. ‘So, we decided to do this incredible hike. Absolutely stunning views, just breathtaking, and we were halfway down the trail when, oh, you won’t believe it, I realised I’d forgotten my bag.’
Fleur forced a smile. ‘Oh no.’
‘Yes! Of course, Marvin being Marvin, well, he wasn’t going to let that ruin our experience. Oh, Fleur, you’d have laughed. He only went and fashioned a makeshift bag for me out of my scarf! Can you believe it? Tied it up so perfectly, slung it over my shoulder—honestly, such a clever thing to do.’
Fleur clenched her jaw and nodded. ‘Very, err, resourceful of him.’
Valerie beamed. ‘Isn’t it? He just thinks like that. Doesn’t flap, doesn’t stress, just solves problems, you know? It’s one of the things I adore about him. He’s got such an easy way about him, Fleur.’
Fleur exhaled through her nose, gripping the edge of the table with one hand. She could feel her window to tell her mum about the wedding slipping away, lost somewhere between Marvin the Mountain Man and his genius scarf-bag invention. Valerie was failing the test. ‘Mum, I?—’
‘And the way he navigated the trail back down after that, well, it was honestly like watching someone completely at one with nature. You know, he’s always been very intuitive about things like that. He said to me, “Val, you’ve got to feel the mountain, not just walk down it.”’ Valerie’s eyes shone as she recounted the latest in Marvin’s endless list of supposed brilliance. ‘And honestly, Fleur, I did! I really felt it. You know, sometimes I think we rush through life without really being in it.’
Fleur pressed her lips together so tightly they almost disappeared. ‘Hmm.’
‘Anyway, it was just the most magical moment. The sun setting behind the peaks, the air crisp but not too cold, Marvin’s hand warm on mine as we walked back down…’
‘Mum!’ Fleur snapped.
Valerie stopped mid-flow, blinking at her through the phone screen. ‘What?’
Fleur forced her voice back to something resembling normal. ‘Can we please talk about something other than Marvin for one second?’
Valerie frowned, sitting back in her camping chair. ‘What’s got into you?’
Fleur pressed her fingers to her temples. ‘I’ve been trying to tell you something. Something important. But every time I open my mouth, you launch into another Marvin story like he’s the Messiah.’
Valerie’s expression flickered with something, not guilt, just irritation at being interrupted. ‘Well, go on then. What’s this very important thing?’
Fleur swallowed, her news was much more important than makeshift bags and hikes. ‘Patrick and I are getting married.’
Silence. A long, stretched-out pause made Fleur’s stomach lurch slightly.
Valerie’s face was unreadable for a moment. Then, after what felt like an eternity, she let out a light, almost dismissive, laugh. ‘Oh, Fleur, really?’
Fleur’s heart sank. ‘What do you mean, really?’
‘I just mean, well, isn’t it all a bit quick?’
Fleur felt a flash of anger rise up her spine. ‘Mum!’
Valerie pulled a face. ‘I just, I don’t know, marriage? I didn’t think you were that sort of person after, well, after the last one.’
Fleur blinked. ‘What sort of person?’
‘The sort that needs to get married. I thought you were, well, independent, now.’
Fleur clenched her fists under the table. So much for congratulations. ‘I am independent, Mum. Loving someone and wanting to marry them doesn’t mean I’ve lost myself.’
‘I can’t believe he asked you to get married. I didn’t think I’d ever see the day after what happened the first time.’
Fleur shook her head. ‘I actually asked him.’
Valerie looked both astonished, surprised, and as if she didn’t believe her. ‘ You asked him? Really? How does that happen?’
‘I just decided, after Lucy and everything, that I want to make it forever with him. So, I thought about it the other day on the way to work, and then I thought, why not? I don’t have to wait for him to turn around and be down on one knee and ask me. It’s not as if it’s 1930, is it? You know, we’re modern women, after all.’
‘Yes, yes,’ Valerie nodded. ‘That’s exactly like me! I’m a modern woman.’
‘Yes,’ Fleur said, though she was not at all convinced by that.
‘Although, I’m not sure I believe in marriage these days. I mean, why do you have to do that? I wish I hadn’t bothered…’
Fleur shook her head, more than irritated that her mum was not gushing in congratulations, but instead turning it around again to her marriage with her dad. Talk about insensitive. Fleur swallowed down the lump of irritation rising in her throat. She should have known this would happen. Should have prepared for it, really. ‘Well…’
Valerie let out a theatrical sigh and adjusted the scarf in her hair. ‘I suppose some people still do it. But honestly, Fleur, I don’t understand why you feel the need. It’s just a piece of paper! Look at me—I’ve never been happier, and I don’t need a certificate to tell me that I’m living my best life.’
Fleur clenched her jaw. ‘Yes, Mum, I know you’re living your best life. You remind me of it every time we speak.’
‘Well, it’s true!’ Valerie trilled, oblivious to Fleur’s rising frustration. ‘I’m free! I can go where I want, do what I want, no one tying me down, no legal nonsense—just me and my van, seeing the world! It’s liberating, Fleur, really. You should try it.’
Fleur inhaled slowly, pinching the bridge of her nose. ‘Mum, I don’t want to live in a van.’
‘Well, not with that attitude,’ Valerie laughed, completely missing the point. ‘You know, you used to be more spontaneous, more adventurous. When you were younger, you had such a free spirit! Then you went and got married, settled down, and?—’
‘And had Lucy. And built a life,’ Fleur finished sharply, unable to hold back the edge in her voice.
Valerie waved a dismissive hand. ‘Well, yes, of course, and Lucy’s wonderful. But you lost that spark! You started worrying about rules and plans and doing things the way everyone expects them to be done, and honestly, I just think it’s a shame.’
Fleur felt her stomach tighten. It wasn’t irritation anymore. It was hurt. Deep, dull, and entirely predictable. ‘Mum. I am happy. I love my life. I love Patrick. This isn’t about ticking a box, or following some old-fashioned idea of marriage. It’s about us. It’s about making a choice together and celebrating that.’
Valerie pursed her lips, unconvinced. ‘I just don’t see why it has to be official. It’s so… traditional. I thought you were over it after—well, you know.’
Fleur exhaled through her nose, her grip tightening on her cup. ‘Mum. You do realise this isn’t about you, right?’
Valerie blinked, momentarily caught off guard. ‘Well, of course, I know that, but?—’
‘Do you?’ Fleur cut in, her voice quieter now but far more pointed. ‘Because every time I tell you something about my life, you manage to twist it back to being about yours. I called to tell you I’m getting married, Mum. To share something happy. And instead of just saying, “That’s wonderful, Fleur, I’m so happy for you,” you’ve turned it into another conversation about how amazing your life is and how I should be living like you.’
Valerie opened her mouth, but for once, no words came out immediately. She sighed dramatically, reaching for her flask of tea and taking a slow sip. ‘Alright. Well, congratulations, I suppose. When is it happening?’
Fleur hesitated. ‘We’re thinking of doing it in Maui.’
Valerie almost choked on her tea. ‘Hawaii, Maui!’
‘Yes, Maui. We want something small and intimate. Just close family and friends.’
Valerie raised an eyebrow. ‘Sorry, do you expect everyone to just fly halfway across the world for this?’
‘Nobody has to come, Mum. We’re inviting the people who matter, and if they can make it – amazing. If not, we understand. Patrick is happy to help out with flights and such.’
Valerie looked unimpressed. ‘And you just assume I’ll be able to drop everything and come along?’
Fleur gave a tight smile. ‘Mum, you and Marvin have spent the last year swanning around Europe like a pair of nomads. I hardly think one flight to Maui is going to upend your life.’
Valerie pursed her lips but said nothing.
Fleur rested her elbows on the table. ‘I want you there. That’s why I’m telling you now. It’s not happening tomorrow. We’ve got time to sort things out.’
Valerie sighed again, her fingers tracing the rim of her cup. ‘Well, I suppose it does sound… lovely.’
‘It’s what we want.’
There was another silence, but this time, it wasn’t quite as tense.
Valerie nodded. ‘Alright. I’ll talk to Marvin. See what we can do. I don’t know if we can fly from Istanbul.’
‘That would be great.’
‘You’re happy, Fleur? Really?’
Fleur met Valerie’s gaze. ‘Yeah, Mum. I really am.’
‘Right. Well, darling, I’ll see you later and talk to you soon. Congrats.’
‘Thanks Mum. Speak to you later.’
Fleur looked away for a second and caught sight of a framed picture of her dad on the kitchen windowsill. It broke her heart that she was getting married and he wouldn’t be there. But she was happier than she’d ever been, and at the end of the day, she was grateful for that. Way to go, Champo. You’ll be okay.