Sixteen
“Fear of loss is a path to the Dark Side.”
~Yoda
Nadia pinched the bridge of her nose as her mother continued to shout. Luckily, Elliot’s Hungarian was terrible so he likely wasn’t taking too much offense to her mother’s cutting words.
“You bring this stranger into our home and disclose our personal business!” her mother accused. “This is none of his concern! He is not family! At least Roland has a stake in saving our home.”
“What stake? Momma, all he wants is to blackmail me into his bed.”
“He wants marriage, Nadia. Stability! Which is all your father asked of you years ago. You are too bullheaded, running off on American adventures when your family needs you here!”
“I’m making a living—”
“What living? You are jumping from one man’s bed to another and always crying you have no money. At least as Roland’s wife, you’d have your dignity.”
Elliot cleared his throat, his English disrupting their argument. “If I might say something…”
Her mother rolled her eyes, continuing to speak over him in Hungarian. “This man! What more does he have to say?”
Nadia turned to Elliot, having heard enough from her mother. “Go ahead.”
He opened his mouth and paused, glancing at her. “Will you translate?”
She nodded.
“If you transferred the house to Nadia, you wouldn’t be in debt to a man who wants to do something that would make your daughter very unhappy.
The ownership would be divided between the three of you.
That would ensure you never missed a payment and your taxes would be figured into your monthly payments, instead of required once a year in a large lump sum.
It would be more manageable for all of you and it would be yours.
No need to ask for help from Roland anymore. ”
Her mother gave her a pointed look and she quickly translated. Before she even finished, she was shaking her head.
“No. We are fine the way we are.”
Dropping her face into her hands, Nadia groaned. “I told you this wouldn’t work.”
Her nagymama, who had been sitting silently for the past hour, placed a hand on Nadia’s arm and whispered in Hungarian, “Do you trust this man, Nadia?”
“Igen,” she answered immediately. At the moment, she trusted him more than anyone.
“Then I trust him, too,” her grandmother said in Hungarian.
When her mother tried to interrupt her grandmother silenced her with a halting finger.
“You had your time to talk. This is my home and I haven’t been able to afford it for a long time. If Nadia wants to buy it from me, and she can figure out how, then I will sell it to her.”
“But Roland—”
“Look at your daughter. She does not want to marry Roland. She is young and beautiful and he is not what she wants. I think it’s time you let go of your husband’s dying wishes and accept what is.”
Her mother stood, mouth tight and eyes full of anger.
“He was a good man and deserves a good daughter who would honor his dying requests.” Her glare cut to Nadia.
“What a disappointment you’ve become. This is a mistake.
What happens when this man leaves you like all the rest and wants his money back? ”
Nadia winced, her mother’s words stabbing deep into her insecurities. “It’s not his money. He’s only cosigning the paperwork. You would be paying the mortgage.”
“No man does something for nothing, Nadia. When will you learn that? Besides, this is your plan, but the burden will be on my shoulders.”
Gritting her teeth, she swallowed her response. This was exactly why she moved to the States.
Her grandmother’s fist came down on the table, rattling the silverware.
“And you have lived here your entire life. You raised your family in this house, and since Nadia’s father passed, I’ve paid for everything.
Do you think Roland will always be there to pay what we can’t afford?
Nadia does not want to be his bride. If she did, we would have had a wedding by now. Enough.”
Her mother glared at her for a moment and then stormed out of the kitchen.
“What’s happening?” Elliot whispered.
Nadia took her grandmother’s hands in hers. “Are you sure this is what you want?”
She shrugged. “I’m old, Nadia. The house will eventually be yours anyway—if we manage to keep it that long. I can’t take any of these things with me when I go. None of it is worth fighting over.”
“I’d understand if you wanted to keep things as they are.”
Her grandmother smiled sadly. “Your mother needs to pull her weight. I’ve lost two daughters who worked their entire lives. She’s all I have left and I think it’s time for her to do her part, let you live your life where you want.”
Nadia smiled, relieved to have her grandmother’s blessing, and faced Elliot. “She says yes, she’ll do it.”
He sighed with relief and she wondered once again why he’d take such joy in carrying her family’s burden. He faced her grandmother. “It’s a good plan.”
She shrugged, not understanding his English.
Nadia translated and the moment they shook hands, Elliot was off making phone calls and contacting banks. They only had a few hours left and Nadia didn’t like leaving her mother while they were at odds.
“I’m going to find, Momma,” she whispered to her grandmother so as not to disturb Elliot.
Her mother wasn’t in her bedroom or any other room. When she searched the yard she found it empty. She stilled as Roland’s back door opened. Her brow creased as her mother slipped out of his house and bustled to the gate.
“Where were you?” Nadia asked, clearly startling her.
“I went for a walk to calm down.”
She frowned at the blatant lie. “We’re leaving soon.”
Her mother’s gaze drifted to the front door. “Of course.”
“Momma, you have to understand this is for the best. Roland—”
“I’m not discussing this with you anymore,” her mother snapped.
Nadia scoffed. “Why?”
Her mother shook her head, her eyes narrowing. “Do you think I wanted to marry your father, Nadia? I didn’t, but it helped my family and I was an obedient daughter. It’s what good daughters do.”
“Marrying Roland wouldn’t help anything, Momma. When will you get that?”
“But lying beneath a stranger like a whore will?”
Nadia drew back. Hurt, and speechless, she stared at her mother, wondering where such hateful words could come from. Her vision blurred as her blood heated. “Elliot isn’t a stranger. I … love him.”
The words crossed the short distance and seemed to silence even the birds in the valley. Everything stilled as reality settled into her bones. She loved him. It was dangerous and exciting and terrifying all at once.
“I love him, Momma,” she repeated, her tone now protective and certain. The feelings she held for him were so intense she refused to let her mother’s expectations tarnish them with ugliness.
Her mother rolled her eyes. “Two weeks ago you lived with a different man. What sort of woman does that?”
“This is different. I never loved Ian.”
“And yet you shared his bed. All of these lovers, and not a single proposal. You think you’re too good for Roland, but he’s the only one willing to marry you after all of these years. He is secure and familiar. It could be much worse.”
“How could anything be worse than binding my life to someone I don’t love? Do you hear how insane that sounds? I don’t want to be married, and I’m never going to marry Roland.”
“At least he would make an honest woman of you. Men don’t want to settle down with women who have a past. You need to do what’s right now, while you’re still young and beautiful enough for a good man to overlook your mistakes. ”
Her mistakes, that was all her mother ever saw. Pressure built in her chest as bile rose in her throat. When would this argument end?
She didn’t want Elliot to marry her. She just wanted him to accept her. Maybe he’d come to love her too and when he learned about her past mistakes he’d love her enough to not care that she was beneath him. She wanted to be good enough for him, smart enough for him, and kind like him.
“Elliot’s different.”
“But are you, Nadia? Are you any different from any other warm body he could lay with?”
A cold fist cinched around her heart. She wanted to be different to him—special to him—but her mother was right. Elliot could have any woman he wanted and he probably would grow tired of her over time.
“You don’t understand what we have. He looks at me and…” Her throat constricted as her personal doubts and worries had her questioning her own words. Her voice warbled as she forced them out anyway. “He sees me as someone special.”
“And I wonder how special you’d be if you kept your clothes on for him.”
Her spine stiffened as her breath hitched, the urge to slap her mother’s face stole over her, but she remained ramrod still. “We’re leaving. I just came to find you to say goodbye.”
Her mother blew out a huff of air and waved her away. “Go. Run to your American life and don’t come back. We will be fine without you.” Her mother turned and marched into the house, leaving Nadia shaking on the lawn.
“You know this is a mistake.”
Startled, Nadia twisted to find Roland standing by the fence. He’d been listening to all the hurtful, humiliating things her mother had said.
Her blurred vision narrowed on him. “This has nothing to do with you.”
“That man is using you, Nadia. He will lose interest and leave you destitute. Then what? Do you expect me to keep waiting?”
Elliot wasn’t keeping her alive. He was merely cosigning a loan for her, yet everyone else acted as if she were signing her soul to the devil. Perhaps it was a survival tactic from years of dealing with this bully of a man that flipped her insecurities into bolstered outrage.
Shoving aside her doubts, she glared at him and let her hurt find a target. “For the love of God, Roland, move on. I never asked you to wait—” He flung open the gate and grabbed her by both arms, shaking her.
“Liar,” he hissed.
A sharp, startled cry escaped as he took her off guard and shook her again.