—Autumn—
Then
We walked into the rodeo, hand-in-hand, while I looked for my brother in the stands.
Daniel and I had been hanging out for the last few weeks, and we were meeting him there.
He was a senior, and I was a junior in high school.
I was almost seventeen, and my parents had finally started allowing me to date.
But if it were up to Christian, I’d be a nun. He was more overbearing than our parents, saying guys only wanted one thing. Which didn’t make any sense. He’d been with the same girl on and off for the last seven years. They were the perfect couple, and at times I envied what they had.
“I think I see him over there.” I pointed to the far left side of the open arena, leading the way.
At least I had a bit more freedom now that Christian was in his senior year of college and wasn’t around a lot.
He was studying for his MCATs, deciding to be a doctor.
Although he hadn’t chosen which field yet.
He was living in his own place with Julian.
They were both almost done with college.
Julian was majoring in finance with a minor in business.
He still loved cars, and since he’d turned sixteen, I swear I’d seen him with a new ride each year.
“Baby.” Daniel pulled me against his chest while he walked behind me. “Have I told you how great your ass and legs look in that skirt?”
I beamed, listening to him.
We drove here after the football game tonight, and I was still in my cheerleading uniform. I was the only girl to make varsity my freshman year, but my excitement toward Daniel’s words was cut shorter than my bloomers when I noticed Julian wasn’t alone.
Shocker.
He was always with a girl. I couldn’t remember the last time I’d seen him without a chick. Especially in the last four years. The man was never with the same woman. Julian didn’t really have a type, he seemed to be an equal opportunist with all the different types of girls he’d bring around.
Julian made up for the fact that Christian only had Kinley, by pretty much sleeping with every hot girl from here to Dallas.
And I hated every single one of them.
Not that my brother couldn’t have any woman he wanted, girls flocked to him like bees to honey. Often making his girlfriend jealous. Christian was covered in tattoos, inked sleeves down both arms, along with his chest and back. He was addicted to them.
To say I was head over heels in love with his best friend was an understatement. I think I was born loving him. My crush didn’t ever go away, it didn’t wear off, and I didn’t grow out of it…
If anything, it became stronger.
My feelings for him became something I couldn’t control or even begin to understand. I just knew I wanted him.
Then.
Now.
Forever.
I wanted him so bad it made my heart hurt and my chest ache.
Despite seeing him with several women throughout my life, he’d never seen me with a guy before, and I secretly hoped this would be what he needed to get his head out of his ass.
I had absolutely no problem picking up guys, inheriting my mom’s big boobs, slender waist, and curvy ass. I began developing at a younger age than most of my friends, and not one time did Julian recognize that.
My brother did.
My parents did.
Most guys in town and at my school did.
Julian, nope. Nothing. Not so much as a, “Hey, you’re looking beautiful today.”
I was at my wit’s end. It wasn’t fair that he looked at every single girl other than me. I even saw him checking out some of the girls on my varsity cheerleading squad during practice one day when he unexpectedly picked me up.
I didn’t have a car. My parents wanted me to wait until I was seventeen, and I relied on my friends, Daniel, and my good ol’ bicycle for transportation. Making me feel like I was still a little girl, when in fact, I wasn’t.
I was a young woman, and I was determined to have Julian see me as something more than just his best friend’s little sister. How he couldn’t see I was madly in love with him only proved to me that men were stupid.
Or if he knew, he never showed it—always seeming unfazed by my presence.
The older he got, the more distant he became. Maybe it was because he was busy with school and other adult things, but the guy who used to take me to his shop didn’t anymore.
Out of the blue one day, he started pushing me away. At least it felt like that to me, and I hated it more than anything.
“You’ll always be my number one girl.”
Those seven words haunted me, hanging over my head like a freaking avalanche. Ready to pile on top of me at a moment’s notice.
Why did he say it if he didn’t mean it?
Those were the types of questions I constantly asked myself.
Over and over again.
Pushing away those thoughts, I walked up the stairs and smiled at Julian. He smiled back, and my stomach catapulted into somersaults, waiting for him to say something about my uniform.
Please notice me.
“Autumn, what the hell are you wearing?” Christian asked, his tone clipped.
“Oh my God. Leave her alone,” Kinley reprimanded him like she often did. “Babe, she’ll be seventeen in two weeks. You’ve met Daniel, so have your parents. Let her be.” She winked at me, and I smiled.
She was always on my side, knowing how overprotective my brother was. My gaze shifted toward Julian, praying he’d heard Christian commenting about my outfit.
He didn’t.
He was too busy sucking face with the blonde he’d brought with him. I rolled my eyes again; he was the king of oblivion.
“Daniel, let’s sit over here.” I popped a squat near Julian, closest to him—not the girl he was with. Enough to where he could see me and Daniel.
For the next hour, I fawned over Daniel, desperately trying to make Julian jealous, and not once he did bat an eye.
Not one ounce of emotion.
Reaction.
What do I need to do to get his attention?
Nothing ever worked.
Not my cute outfits.
Not my makeup.
Not my bikinis.
Not even the guy I’d brought around him for the first time.
It was as if he was immune to anything related to me and the more I thought about it, the further it pissed me off.
“There’s Rob and Dave,” Daniel murmured in my ear, bringing my attention back to him. “They have booze. Let’s go over there with them.”
“My brother… You know what? Fuck it. Let’s go.” I called out Christian’s name. “We’re going to hang out with some friends who just got here, okay?”
“No—”
Kinley covered his mouth. “Okay. Have fun.”
I mouthed, “Thank you,” to her.
“Don’t go too far,” Christian called out behind us as we walked away.
“Babe! Just leave her alone. She’s a big girl.”
My eyes wandered toward Julian’s direction.
Did you hear what Kinley said? I’m a big girl!
Nope. He was still sucking face with the blonde.
Why even come to the rodeo if you’re not going to watch the show?
We made our way to Daniel’s friends, and I didn’t think twice about it, when he handed me the bottle of Jack, taking it down like a fucking champ. It burned all the way down my chest, warming my body in the process.
I wasn’t much of a drinker, but tonight would fix that.
One chug, three chugs, five chugs … shit, I’d lost count.
Giggling up a storm, I swayed my hips to the music Daniel was playing off his cell phone. Bringing the bottle up to my lips, I drank way more than I should have. Wanting to numb my thoughts of Julian and his indifference was the only remedy that seemed worthwhile.
I saw Daniel eyeing me over the rim of his bottle, staring at me with nothing but mischief in his eyes.
I wanted to forget.
And he was the perfect guy I could do that with. He was trouble in the best possible way.
My lips tingled, my face was on fire, and my body was numb.
Good.
It was the first time in forever I’d felt so carefree, throwing my head back and laughing, enjoying the way he made me feel. We exchanged flirty banter, dancing close together to the music. My head was spinning with thoughts of Julian, and I stumbled a little, catching myself in Daniel’s arms.
He caressed the side of my cheek, rubbing his thumb over my lips in a back and forth motion. “You’re beautiful, Autumn.”
Why can’t Julian think I’m beautiful?
I pushed off of him, dancing all around while he leaned against a tree.
Were we in the woods? I guess we went for a walk.
Seductively, I worked my hands up the sides of my body, bringing my skirt up with it.
Peeking over at him, I moved my hips to the beat of the music, provocatively looking into his eyes as the song continued to blare into the night.
I spun around with my back now facing him, closing my eyes.
Wanting to get lost in the moment, I lifted my hair off the nook of my neck.
I was sweating.
It was scorching outside.
Texas heat was no joke, and tonight was proving to be one of the hottest nights of the summer.
Slowly, I continued to move my hips in a slow, steady rhythm until I felt a strong arm grab around my waist, tugging me back against his hard chest.
It was super aggressive.
“Daniel?” I was about to spin around when I heard the voice of the man I least expected.
Angrily spewing, “You wanted my attention. Now what are you going to do with it, kid?”