—Autumn—
We’d been home for two weeks.
Home.
It didn’t feel like that anymore.
Capri and I were miserable.
Why was I doing this to us again?
She was mad at me, devastated I’d actually made us leave. My mind kept thinking about that morning, and it killed me every single time.
“Momma!” she pleaded with tears streaming down her precious face. Please don’t make us a leave! Please, Momma! I want us to stay with Daddy!”
“Capri, please don’t do this to me right now.”
“I love you, Daddy!” She ran into his arms. “Please don’t forget about me!”
He picked her up off the ground, and she clung to him like she’d never wanted to let him go for anything.
“You have to be my big, brave girl, okay?”
“But I don’t wanna go!”
“I know, baby.” He kissed the top of her head, looking at me with so much hurt it crippled my stance.
He held her in his arms until she cried herself to sleep before he gently laid her down in the SUV. Kissing her head one last time, he quietly shut the door.
Shaking his head, he bit, “I hope you’re happy with yourself. You didn’t just break my heart. You broke our daughter’s too.”
Her words played in my mind as if they were a broken record on endless repeat. My head was pounding, overly thinking about what I’d done to us when my phone suddenly rang.
“Christian,” I answered it. “I can’t talk right now.”
“Good, because I’m the one who needs to do all the talking now.”
“What are you—”
“Are you happy?” he questioned out of nowhere.
It was all it took for me to breakdown. “No…”
“Don’t cry in front of Capri, Autumn.”
“I’m not. She’s out with Emily. What did I do, Christian? What did I do to my family?”
“Autumn, stop crying.”
“I can’t. I feel like I’ve been crying since I left him. When all I want to do is go back, but I can’t.”
“Why can’t you?”
“I don’t know. I just can’t.”
He deeply sighed, breathing out, “It’s because of me, isn’t it?”
“What?”
“You heard me.”
“I don’t understand.”
“Yes, you do.”
“This has nothing to do with you.”
“Bullshit, Autumn. This has always been about me. Mom and Dad would have accepted you guys—fuck, they probably would have been thrilled about it. The only thing holding him back was me, and we both know it.”
“Christian—”
“No, it’s my turn to talk, and you need to listen.
I fucked up. My job was to protect you, and I protected you from the man you needed most. He’s always loved you.
I saw it clear as day. The way he’d look at you when you were speaking, when he’d never give any girl his sole focus.
The way he’d smile when you were around, when he was usually a broody bastard.
How he’d think of you even when we were at the fucking grocery store, buying you your favorite candy or magazine. He was completely devoted to you.”
“What are you saying?”
“I’m saying that I was wrong. I never should have kept you two apart, and for that I’m truly sorry, Autumn. It’s your life. He makes you happy, and for years I saw you suffer with Capri alone. Knowing deep down in my heart that he was more than likely the father.”
I gasped. “You knew?”
“I wasn’t a hundred percent positive, but he started changing.
He wasn’t bringing girls home anymore. He was always busy, and when I saw you in his room that night, I knew he was busy with you.
He didn’t hit on girls when we’d go out.
My best friend became a man I didn’t recognize because of you.
I saw through the bullshit charade he did during my bachelor party.
Julian would have fucked her on that chair, not giving a shit anyone was in the room.
He wouldn’t have taken her to another room.
He was trying to prove something to me, and I saw it for what it was. ”
“Oh my God.”
“When you told us you were pregnant, I tried to reach him. I called around to all our friends, everyone who knew him, the places we used to hang out, trying to see if I could find him, but I never could. For months I tried, only to come up empty.”
“I didn’t know that.”
“I wanted to fucking kill him, but I couldn’t prove he was the father. All I had was my intuition. Than Capri started growing up, and I could see so much of him in her. Her mannerisms, her confidence, the way she holds her fucking fork, it’s all Julian.”
“Why didn’t you ever say anything to me?”
“What could I say? I couldn’t offer you anything, give you any information on his whereabouts.
The only thing I could do was be there for you and her.
I felt so fucking guilty she didn’t have a father because of me.
It was the least I could do. Again, I’m so sorry, Autumn.
I never meant to hurt you. I fucking love you. ”
It all made sense, and I had no idea how I couldn’t see it until now.
“It was never him, Christian. It was always me.” I paused to let my words sink in.
“I pursued him. For years it was all me. He never wanted to disrespect you, our parents, or me. For the longest time I didn’t understand his reasoning.
A little part of me resented him for it.
I felt bad I didn’t feel that way and he did.
Even up until his article, I was terrified of you finding out.
Not Mom and Dad. I didn’t want to lose you like I’d lost him. ”
“You’re not going to lose me. I promise. All I’ve ever wanted is for you to be happy. You’re always going to be my little sister. Do you love him?”
“More than anything in this world.”
“If he hurts you again, I’ll fucking kill him. You’ve been warned. I’ll always be here. I’m your big brother, and you’re stuck with me for life.”
“I know. You’ve been the best big brother a girl could ever have.”
“He’s a mess, Autumn. You need to come home.”
“Wait? You’ve seen him?”
“Yeah, the owner of the bar we used to hang out at called me at three in the morning a couple nights ago to come pick his ass up. He was fucking hammered. I could barely get him in the car. He passed out in our guest bedroom, and we talked the next morning.”
“Wow. Julian losing control. That’s never a good thing.”
“No shit. We’re fine. I’ll get over it. I want you happy. I want my niece to have a family. The same one we have with two loving parents who want what’s best for her.”
“Do you mean that?”
“Of course I do.”
“Where is he now?”
He chuckled, and the doorbell rang before he added, “At your front door.”
—Julian—
There she was, finally standing in front of me. Before she could say a word to me, I bent forward and threw her over my shoulder.
“Julian! What the hell?”
I walked into her house, looking around for Capri. Ready to throw her over my other shoulder and leave with what belonged to me.
“Where’s our daughter?”
“She’s out with Emily. Put me down!”
“Not a fucking chance. You’re coming home with me. Now!”
“Julian—”
“Where are they? I’ll go get her.”
“They’ll be home any minute. Will you please calm down?”
“This is me calm.”
“Really? You’re literally carrying me on your shoulder like a freaking cave man. What’s next? Going to hit me over the head with a club and drag me out of my home?”
“This isn’t your home. Your home is at the ranch with me.”
“You’re right. It is.”
Now that got my attention, and I set her down on the entry table, caging her in with my arms.
“Are you fucking with me?”
She smiled, shaking her head. “I never should have left, and I’m so sorry I did. I’m also sorry about the birth control and Capri. I was young, but I don’t regret it. I couldn’t imagine my life without her in it.”
“How could I be upset with you? You gave us our baby girl.”
“I love you, Julian. I’ve always loved you, and I always will.”
I laid my forehead on hers, rasping, “You mean I don’t have to spank you into submission?”
“No, I’m not really into that.”
“Unlucky for you, I am.”
Grabbing my face, she looked deep into my eyes. “Take me home. Please. I want to go home.”
I didn’t have to be told twice, claiming her lips like she did my heart.
“I love you, Autumn. I want to forget about the past and just focus on the future. Can you give me that?”
She nodded. “Yes, I can now.”
“You’re not going to run away from me anymore?”
“No. My life belongs to you. It always has. I love you, Mr. Locke.”
“Say it again.”
“I love you, I love you, I love you!”
Kissing her passionately, I almost made love to her right then and there, but Capri walked in with Emily beside her. Through my craze, I didn’t close the door.
“Daddy!” The expression on my baby girl’s face almost brought me to my knees.
I let go of Autumn, and Capri jumped into my arms.
“You’re here!” Capri celebrated. “You came for us! I knew you would! I just knew it!”
Holding her close, I pulled Autumn into the side of my chest. Embracing both my girls after what felt like forever of missing them.
My world.
My heart.
My soul.
Was finally with me, and I was never going to let them go again.