Chapter 17 #2
Again, he shrugs. “Not that I know of. My division is in tip-top shape, so we aren’t the reason he looks like someone pissed in his Cheerios.
I can’t speak for anyone else’s, though.
Some of those division heads are straight up jackasses, so it wouldn’t surprise me if they’re giving him a headache. ”
Desperate, I ask, “But you don’t know of anything for sure?”
Kellen shakes his head. “No, sorry. You know Matthias, though. Everything stresses him out. The only time he’s ever really happy is with you and the kids.
Dude has being cranky down to a science.
Always has. He takes after our father. They should have named him Max Junior. In fact, I don’t know why they didn’t.”
We’re not getting anywhere with him, so I thank Kellen and ask him to please not tell anyone we were asking about this topic.
Now fixated on why Max and Elizabeth King didn’t name their firstborn after his father, Kellen saunters away to take his position next to the couch again, leaving me with no more answers than before Eden grabbed him and forced him to talk to us.
“That was not helpful,” I admit sadly.
Eden screws her expression into the look she always gets when she’s devising a plan.
It’s a mix of pure determination and obstinance.
“What if we ask Marius to talk to Matthias? I know Kellen works with him, but Marius is closer to Matthias. I think he always has been. I could tell him to find out what the hell is wrong and tell you.”
I consider her idea, but the less people I get involved in my personal life, the better.
It’s bad enough that it’s nearly impossible to keep a secret in this family.
I don’t want everyone to know that it’s possible Matthias and I aren’t happy, especially since we’re planning to get married in front of all of them in just a couple of weeks.
“No, don’t. I’m going to have to figure this out on my own.”
“Are you sure?” she asks, her green eyes twinkling like she really wants Marius to help us figure this out. “You know he’ll do it.”
“I know, but no. Don’t tell him, okay?”
Suddenly, I’m starting to feel some loser, like the only person in the room who doesn’t have the life she’s been pretending to have. Matthias and I have been happy since we finally admitted we were in love. At least, I thought we were happy. Was I wrong?
Eden brings me in for a hug and whispers in my ear, “Don’t worry. Matthias has a big job. I’m sure it’s just work weighing on his mind.”
I nod, wanting more than anything to believe that’s it.
“I’m sure you’re right. Go back to the party and enjoy yourself.”
She turns to leave and then looks back at me. “Hey, about this wedding. How are your bridesmaids going to get dresses in time? Two weeks isn’t long enough.”
“Oh, wear whatever you want. It’s going to be something very casual. You know how we are. I’m not even doing a regular wedding gown. My father is coming, but Andrew and his wife can’t. We don’t really want anything formal anyway. Choose whatever dress you want to that morning, and you’ll be fine.”
“Got it! Don’t worry, Ava. Everything’s going to be great for your wedding. Matthias isn’t a huge smiley guy, anyway. You’ve always gone for the broody guy. You two are perfect together.”
I nod, willing to admit I do tend to love brooding men, and of all the men I’ve dated, Matthias is absolutely the broodiest.
God, I hope that’s all this is.
Once everyone leaves and Eleanor and I get things cleaned up, I check on the kids and tuck them into bed. All three got to enjoy the party, so by bedtime, they were exhausted.
I stay a few extra minutes to watch Elizabeth sleep since she’s so young and I love to watch her little body move up and down in her crib. She has this way of pouting when she sleeps that’s utterly adorable. Maybe she’ll turn out as broody as her father.
Each child gets a kiss and a whispered, “I love you” before I head down to the office to see how Matthias is doing. He returned to the party for a few minutes to eat and chat with everyone, but then he disappeared again, making his absence all the more obvious.
I stop just outside his office and take a deep breath. Dealing with him when he’s so unhappy is difficult for me because nothing I say seems to make him feel better, which is all I want to do. I don’t want to start a fight, but I need to know what’s going on with him.
Pasting a smile on my lips, I step into the room to see him staring out the window. Ordinarily, I’d make a joke about working hard checking out the grass, but I get the sense that won’t be met with his usual gentle smile and willingness to tell me what’s wrong.
So instead, I say, “Hey, what’s going on?”
I try to make the words sound casual, but there’s no mistaking the worry beneath them.
He slowly spins his chair around so he’s facing me, and I swear I’ve never seen him so glum. He looks as unhappy as he did when he first returned home because his father was dying.
“What is it, Ava?” he asks flatly, instantly making me feel like I’m intruding.
“I just wanted to check on you and see if you’re okay,” I say with a big smile.
Matthias takes a deep breath in and lets it out slowly. “I’m fine. You keep asking me if I’m okay, and I keep telling you I am. I don’t know how else to say it. I’m fine. I’m fucking fine!”
As he speaks, his voice gets louder and louder until he finally barks that last sentence at me. I try not to show I’m hurt, but I am, and I get the feeling my face isn’t doing a good job of hiding that.
I can’t give up on him, though, so I stuff my emotions down and ask, “What’s wrong? I’ve never seen you so miserable.”
That gets me the first smile I’ve seen from him in nearly half a day. “Yes, you have. Admit it.”
I take another step toward him and stop, still feeling unwelcome. “Okay, but I’m just trying to be supportive, Matthias. What’s wrong?”
And as quickly as that tiny smile appears, it’s gone and he returns to being sullen. “It’s work. Nothing I want to talk about. You don’t have to worry. I’ll handle things, and everything will be fine.”
His cryptic words leave me with more questions than answers, but I don’t push, even though I want to. For so long, I got used to him being open and willing to share things with me, but now it seems those days are over.
I just don’t know why.
“It’ll be okay. Don’t worry, Ava. Everything will be better by the time the wedding comes around.”
Unsatisfied with that answer but sensing I won’t get any further by pushing him, I walk around his desk and kiss him lightly on the cheek. “Okay. You know I’m always around to talk to, and I’m your biggest fan, so that makes talking to me even better, right?”
He gives me a second smile, much warmer than the one from a minute ago, and kisses me softly on the lips as he cradles my face in his strong hands.
“I know. I’m the luckiest man in the world because I have you and the kids.
Don’t worry. I’ll be better soon enough.
I’ll be so good you’ll get sick of seeing me happy. ”
I look into his dark eyes so full of sadness even as he says those sweet words and wish I could make whatever’s upsetting him go away. “I could never get sick of seeing you happy, honey. If you want to talk, I’m all ears.”
Dropping his hands from my face, he returns to his previous miserable expression. “I know. I love you, Ava. You know that, right?”
“Of course, I do. And I love you, Matthias.”
As I walk out of his office, I turn around to see him back to staring out the window. Something is very wrong, and I’m starting to believe it has nothing to do with work.
But if it isn’t work that’s making him unhappy, why is he lying to me?