Chapter 2
Brett
“I haven’t had a chance to explain our situation to my other brothers.” She sounds like she’s apologizing, which means I likely have three angry Heaton men to deal with.
“It’s fine,” I reply.
Jacob chuckles. I don’t know what that means, but my guess is he wouldn’t mind seeing me get my assed kicked after I grabbed hold of his collar at the game.
We head inside. The house is big and outdated. The lights are off.
“It’s late, Maylee is probably sleeping,” she explains.
“Is there a place for me to stay in town?” I ask her. “I just got time off from Coach, and I plan to spend it with my daughter.”
She freezes.
Jacob gives her a look and then says, “You two have yourself a good night.” He walks off and I mutter thanks.
“You aren’t staying in town. Besides, it’s late. You can stay on the couch. We don’t have an extra room since we converted the extra bedroom into a nursery,” she explains.
“Can I see her? I’ll be quiet.”
She nods and her arms come up and hug her center. I keep reminding myself she thought I told her to buzz off. That is what she believed, and she doesn’t know me well enough to know anything else.
“You can leave your bag down here,” she says, so I leave it on the floor and remove my boots.
“Take your jacket off too. It’ll make noise. She isn’t a light sleeper, but I also don’t want to risk her waking up,” she explains.
I leave my coat on the back of the couch and take off my boots and leave them beside my bag. Willow places her boots and coat in a closet by the door. I take her in and I feel the same attraction I felt that night. She’s wearing a pair of tight jeans and an oversized sweater that hides her body, but she still looks hotter than hell.
“Follow me.” She waves, motioning me with her hand. I follow her through the quiet house.
“Who was watching Maylee?” I ask.
“My brother, Finn, and his girlfriend, Chelsea. They’re seniors in high school,” she explains.
“What about your mom?” I whisper.
“She went out tonight for her friend Jana’s birthday. They were at a local bar celebrating. Since Dad died, Mom has been doing a lot of celebrating,” she shares.
As we take the steps upstairs, I remember the night we were together. Her parents had a relationship that resembled the Cold War. They stayed together for the wrong reasons and were always miserable and at each other’s throats. What doesn’t make sense is why her mother isn’t more helpful. Willow came to confront me tonight. That must have been hard as hell after what she believed about me. I see that Jacob has her back but what about her mom?
We reach a room. The hall is dark and quiet. The water is running from a bathroom, but other than that you can hear a pin drop. A guy opens a bedroom door and leans on the wall. I’m guessing it’s Finn Heaton, since he looks like he’s probably in high school.
“Why is he here?” the kid barks, sizing me up. He’s a big guy but he just doesn’t have weight on him yet.
“Brett, this is my brother, Finn,” Willow says, stepping in front of me like she expects the kid to swing. “We had a horrible misunderstanding, which I can explain in the morning. For now, I need you to remember he is Maylee’s father and he’s here for her,” she says.
I watch the kid grind his jaw. A blonde walks up behind him dressed in plaid pajamas. “Come on, Finn.” She places a hand on his shoulder and he melts a little.
“Brett, this is Chelsea, she’s Finn’s long-time girlfriend,” Willow explains.
The girl extends her hand to me. “Nice to meet you.”
“You’re shaking his hand?” Finn chides her.
I shake her hand. “Nice to meet you too, Chelsea,” I say to her. Then I zero in on Finn. “Look, kid, I get you’re watching out for your sister, but I didn’t know Maylee existed because of a messed-up communication. Now I know and I’m not going anywhere, so you’ll just have to get used to me.”
His eyes widen and he looks over at Willow.
“You guys are going to wake Maylee. We’ll deal with this in the morning. Come, Brett,” she orders.
Chelsea pulls Finn back into the bedroom and they close the door. I follow Willow, feeling like my heart is picking up pace with every step.
Boards creak beneath my feet as we make our way to a room at the end of the hall. When we reach the threshold, I feel like I stop breathing.
Willow walks into the room and up to the crib. She waves me over. I walk over slowly, feeling like my life is changing with every step. There will be no going back. I haven’t even seen her and my heart is beating differently. I make it to the edge of the crib and look down at the little angel sleeping. Tiny button nose, heart-shaped lips, chubby cheeks; she’s breathing softly lying on her back. Her arms point upward with a blanket that’s covering half her body. Her chest rises and falls slowly. Tears fill my eyes. This is my daughter. This is my daughter. I feel a little woozy as I just stare, and then I get nauseous. Nauseous about missing so many important milestones. Willow’s pregnancy and the first five months of her life. My first thought is I will never leave you again.
“Brett, say something,” Willow urges.
I thought I was just shaking inside, but my body is shaking as I try to hold back tears and nausea.
“Where is there a bathroom, Willow?” I manage to croak out.
“Just outside the door, on the right,” she replies.
I turn and head that way and then, for the second time tonight, I vomit into the toilet. Feelings of guilt and loss wash over me. Willow not feeling like she could reach out to me. Whoever took my phone and answered her that way has a lot of bad karma coming and if I ever meet them. . . I fall to my knees, feeling like all the energy has drained from my body.
“Hey.” Willow walks into the bathroom and rubs my back.
“Sorry,” I apologize. “This is a lot. I. . . feel. . . I don’t know what I feel, but it’s making me upset that I missed so much.”
“I’m so sorry, Brett. I don’t even know what to say,” she begins.
I straighten up, walk over to the sink, and throw some cold water on my face. I also rinse my mouth with some mouthwash that’s beside the sink, and then I wash my hands with soap.
“I was so gutted after I got that text message from you,” she says.
“That wasn’t from me,” I remind her, feeling angry for this unfortunate state of events.
“I know, but it gutted my world. I got so upset. So, so upset, Brett. I was a mess and pregnant. I started spotting and Jacob and Lev took me to the hospital,” she explains.
I hiss, thinking she could’ve lost Maylee because of some sadistic asshole who stole my phone.
“Lev told the doctor what happened. He ran some tests and told me the baby was okay, but I would have to dial back my stress, that it was really bad for the baby,” she says and tears stain her cheeks.
“Shit, Willow, I’m so damn sorry.”
“It was all a misunderstanding. You don’t have to be sorry, but my sense of self-preservation kicked in. I had to calm down and disconnect. I focused on staying calm and I didn’t speak with my friends in New York for months on end. I ate well and took long brisk walks in the fresh air. I took my vitamins. My focus was Maylee.”
“Of course, it was,” I sigh, gripping my hair. This all makes sense, but I hate how fate kept me apart from my kid.
I feel my cheeks get wet, and I realize I am crying too. I don’t remember the last time I cried in front of someone, but I must have been a kid. I’m the one who was there to wipe my sister’s tears away. The one making sure everyone in my family was always looked after. I’m not the one who is supposed to fall apart, yet my heart feels broken in two.
A loud cry makes me flinch.
Willow wipes at her tears with her fingers. “She must be hungry,” she says and turns out of the bathroom.
I follow her into Maylee’s room.
“Hi, sweet girl,” she coos softly. She picks up our daughter and I see her little legs. Willow holds her against her chest and her face is to me. She is so beautiful and sweet. Willow takes a seat on the rocker in the room. “I breastfeed her,” she explains.
“Do you want me to leave?” I offer because I don’t know what protocol should be.
“You can stay.”
She lifts up her shirt and our daughter goes from crying her eyes out to quiet and eating in a second. Just watching the two of them like that does something to my insides.
I take a seat on the floor and watch Willow feeding Maylee. My daughter. My daughter. It doesn’t feel real. Nothing makes sense because I never wanted kids, and yet I’ve never felt as much love as I do now. I would do anything for that little baby.
“I know this is a lot to take in,” Willow whispers. “That night we both spoke about never settling down and never wanting kids. . .”
“Don’t say it, Willow. I was wrong that night. Very, very wrong. I love her,” I say and the tears make a return, filling my eyes.
“I get it. From the moment I found out I was pregnant, I loved her and vowed to do my best for her.”
“That’s why you came to me tonight, despite everything you thought you knew about me,” I say to her.
She nods. “I did it for Maylee, Brett. I’d do anything for her.”
“I get it. So would I. I just hate all the time I’ve lost.”
“I’m sorry,” she replies.
“Please don’t apologize. This wasn’t your fault. You did the best you could, given what you knew,” I assure her, because I don’t want her feeling guilty too; it won’t achieve anything.
“You’re being kind, Brett. We had fun that night, but we don’t really know each other,” she says, sounding worried.
“I know we don’t but I can tell you I love that baby over there, and I’ll do anything for the two of you,” I assure her.
“You mean for her,” she corrects.
“No, I mean for the two of you. You’re her mother. I grew up with a single mother, Willow, and my sister was a single mom until not too long ago. That is some hard shit and I plan to be here for both of you.”
“You’re being kind, Brett, but you don’t need to say those things. I would never keep Maylee from you.”
Her reluctance to understand my commitment to her and Maylee makes my head spin, but I get it. Willow grew up with a father who lived in her home and wasn’t supportive, but I’m not him.
Maylee finishes eating and Willow puts her over her shoulder and burps her.
“Can I hold her?” I ask.
She nods and I stand. I take hold of my daughter. My daughter. I know how to hold a baby after helping out with my nephew, Asher, when he was little.
“Hi there,” I say, holding my daughter so she is facing me. I love Asher with all my heart, but what I’m feeling now is beyond words. “You are so pretty, just like your mama.”
“She has your blue eyes,” Willow notes.
I smile at that.
Maylee coos in my arms and I’m a goner.
“Holy shit.” A woman’s loud, rough voice pulls me from my bliss. I look up to see a brunette woman in her late forties, maybe early fifties, with long hair and blue-green eyes that resemble Willow’s. “Damn, Willow, you chose a good-looking baby daddy,” she says. I’m guessing this must be her mom. She is also slightly inebriated.
“Mom, can we maybe do introductions another time?” Willow asks, wanting to get rid of her.
“I’m Georgia and I’m guessing if you’re here, then there really was some sort of fuckup,” she slurs.
Willow hisses. “Mom, please,” she pleads and eyes the woman with a look that says skedaddle.
“Okay. Okay,” the woman says, holding her hands up in the air. In one of them she has a pair of high heels.
“You two have yourself a good night,” she says.
“Brett will be staying over,” Willow informs her.
She looks me over in an appreciative way that makes my skin crawl. “Well, then you two have a good night.”
“Not in my bed, Mom,” she clarifies. “He’ll be on the couch. I didn’t want you to be scared in the morning.”
“Actually, can I just camp out on the floor in here?” I ask. I don’t want to leave my daughter.
Willow’s mom gives me a confused look. “I’m going to bed.”
“Good night,” I say to her.
Her mom saunters away. I look at Willow, who looks mortified. “It’s been fun being back home, but it was better than being in the city.”
“A huh,” I say. “So, the sleeping arrangements. . .”
“I can make you a makeshift bed on the floor,” Willow offers. She leaves the room and I look down at the baby in my arms. My baby. She takes hold of my finger, her entire hand wrapping around the one digit.
Willow returns with a blanket and a couple pillows. “Hope this will do.”
“That’s perfect, thank you.”
Willow smiles, but it’s tight. “Tonight has been a lot to process,” she yawns. She must be exhausted. She has her family around her, but I wonder how much help she is really getting.
When I look down at Maylee, she is sleeping peacefully in my arms.
“It’s better you put her in the crib. I don’t like to hold her a lot at night because I can’t let her get used to hands. I need my sleep,” she explains.
“Of course,” I reply, and I softly place Maylee in bed.
I then turn to Willow. “I meant what I said. I’m here for you too. Now, is there a bottle I can feed her if she wakes up?”
Willow looks at me with her lips parted. She doesn’t answer for a beat and then she says, “Why?”
“Because if she needs to eat, I will feed her. You need to sleep. I’m guessing you’ve been doing all the night feedings on your own, and you don’t have to do that anymore. When I’m here, she is my responsibility too.”
Willow’s mouth forms an O. “Uh, there were times Jacob helped out when I was just about to lose my mind at the beginning. She didn’t breastfeed easily. Took me about three weeks to get her to latch properly. We were substituting with formula at that point, but I really wanted to breastfeed and I’m stubborn. I wanted to give her the best,” she speaks quickly.
“Willow, my sister got pregnant, and the dad was a deadbeat who never took responsibility. I’m just going to lay this out here, so you get me. I saw how hard the beginning was. I wasn’t always there for Maddie, but my mom was and so was I when I could be. I’m not a deadbeat dad. In fact, I plan on getting the fucking father of the year award every damn year. So, I need you to get used to me. I also need you to tell me what I’m supposed to feed my baby so you can sleep.”
Willow blinks and then she sighs, and her shoulders deflate. “Follow me. I’ll show you where I keep the frozen breast milk. You can just take it out when you need and defrost a couple of hours before,” she explains. I follow her back downstairs and to the kitchen. She flicks on the lights and opens the freezer to show me all the milk she has stored.
“I kind of feel like a cow,” she chortles.
“You are not a cow,” I assure her.
She then opens one of the cabinets and shows me the baby bottles. She also shows me the bottle sterilizer, explaining she knows she doesn’t have to sterilize anymore but it makes her feel better doing it, so I assure her I will sterilize the bottles.
Then she looks at me. “I’m glad you’re here, Brett.”
“I am too. We have a lot of lost time to make up for.”
“Yeah,” she sighs and then she blinks. She watches me like she doesn’t know what to make of me. The night we met I was in bachelor mode. I saw a beautiful woman who intrigued me, and I wanted nothing more than to get in her pants. She was a challenge and I thrived on it. Now, she is the mother of my child. Yet, she’s always been so much more, and I know that because she is the last woman I slept with, and that is really messed up for me. I’ve been trying to move on from that night and I just couldn’t.
“I’ll grab my stuff and take it up to Maylee’s room, and I’ll defrost one of these bags.” I point to the breast milk.
“She should probably be good until about seven,” Willow says.
“Good to know. You take it easy and sleep. I got her. I’m serious. I don’t want to see you before noon,” I warn her.
“You can’t be serious,” she retorts with a snort-laugh.
“I’m dead serious.” I look into her tired eyes.
“Okay, well then, I have her started on cereal,” she explains. She then shows me the bowls and how many tablespoons to prepare and points at the high chair in the corner I didn’t notice before.
“Okay, cereal in the morning.”
“Okay,” Willow says.
“Okay,” I repeat.
“Should we go upstairs then?” Willow asks.
“Yup,” I reply with a pop. I grab my bag and follow her upstairs. My eyes zero in on her behind. She looks more curvaceous now and I’m digging it. I lick my lips watching her but when I feel my cock hardening, I have to think of unsexy things because that is the last place Willow and I need to go.
We need to build a foundation for ourselves as co-parents, and then I need to convince her I’m more than just a player.
She says good night and I say good night too. I head into the bathroom beside Maylee’s room and change into a T-shirt and shorts. Then I head into Maylee’s room. Willow has fixed the blanket for me on the floor with the pillows. I place my bag in the corner and then walk over to Maylee’s crib, and I just stare at her. Then I sit in the rocking chair and check my phone. I must have put it on silent in the car and when I look at it, it’s blowing up with messages from Maddie.
I send her a quick message that I’m okay and we’ll talk soon. I also tell her I will need her to go to my apartment and pack me a suitcase for the next two weeks. Since she lives next door to me in Kaleb’s apartment, it’s an easy ask.
She tells me to send her the address so I reply I will in the morning because I’m in the middle of Bumfuck, Nowhere.
I yawn, feeling completely drained from the emotional roller coaster of this day. I lie down on the floor. It’s a hardwood floor and the blanket isn’t all that thick, but I want to be close to my daughter. I stare up at the ceiling. This isn’t how I saw my life going but after being with Willow that night, something changed in my mind. Sure, I was very attracted to her and our chemistry was mind-numbing, but it was more than that. We didn’t just have sex; we spoke about life. We connected over our messed-up feelings about relationships. We may have vowed to never settle down, but I retract my vow. After spending the last fourteen months thinking of Willow, and today learning about my daughter, I know in my heart of hearts I want it all. I want Willow to be mine. Only I can tell she isn’t on the same page, which means I am going to have to work for it.