Forever Player

Chapter 6

Willow

My head is literally spinning as I get into bed. When I went to find Brett at the arena, I thought we would come to some understanding on co-parenting. I figured he would come back to the farm and meet Maylee for a day. Not in any alternate universe did I think he was going to be on board for being a full-time parent. I sure as hell would never have dreamed he would want something more with me. He may have been the best sex of my life, but I know better than to think something more can come from our explosive chemistry. I close my eyes, thinking how big burly Brett is curled up sleeping on the hard floor next to our daughter’s crib. He went above and beyond today. He must be exhausted and sleeping on that floor is not a good night’s rest. I have to keep my compassion to a minimum, or else I will be inviting him to sleep in my bed. It is a queen-size bed, and I am sure he’d respect my boundaries, but that’s asking for trouble with the way my body reacts to him.

The sound of his deep voice softly singing Maylee to sleep makes my stomach flip, only it doesn’t last because his sexy voice lulls me to sleep. I wake in the morning with a startle because I dreamed of our night together. The words yes, Brett, fuck me harder are on repeat in my mind, but what is worse is that I’ve woken up feeling wet and needy. I may have been a big horny mess during pregnancy, but I didn’t act on my needs. I wasn’t going to go into town pregnant and pick up one of the locals for goodness sakes. After I had Maylee, I got too busy to even think about sex. Now after Brett being back in my life for only a couple of days, I am a hot, needy mess. I slip my fingers between my folds, remembering Brett and the night we met at Focus. The way his suit hugged his body. Those few buttons on his dress shirt he left open revealing a smattering of chest hair. Peeling said suit off him back at his apartment was a treat I’ll not soon forget. His body is sculpted like a cut marble Renaissance man. Running my hands over every fine inch of his body, especially the globes of his ass, lit my body on fire. I come before I get to the part where we had sex, only it isn’t an earth-shattering orgasm because I can never get there myself. Brett has been the only guy who has given me multiple orgasms. Even though he happens to be a couple of rooms down the hall, I can’t use him for sex. It wouldn’t be fair.

I get up to use the bathroom and as I walk up to the door it opens. Brett walks out of the bathroom as a cloud of steam bellows behind him. He’s wearing nothing but a towel wrapped around his waist. He’s too gorgeous with his dark wet curls slicked back. His lips form in a sly grin. “Mornin’, Willow. Sleep good?”

“Yeah,” I mutter as my gaze runs down his chest to his hard pecs. I remember licking those nipples like it was nobody’s business. When I take in his abs and that sexy V-cut shape that I know leads to a nice-sized cock, my mouth fills with saliva and I get dizzy.

I lick my lips.

“Okay,” he chuckles, clearly amused by my reaction to his body. “You take it easy today. I got our girl. I gave her cereal already and Jacob is watching her so I could shower,” he explains.

I swallow hard, my mouth watering at the sight of him. This is bad. Very, very bad.

“Gotta pee, Brett,” I announce because being close to him has made me forget my name, apparently.

His eyes do a quick sweep over my body. When his gaze lands on my legs, he says, “Damn, Willow, you got the best legs I’ve ever seen. Is it okay to compliment you? I mean, I don’t want to overstep.” By his shit-eating grin, I think he damn well knows he’s affected me.

His cocky demeanor pisses me off, so I get a hold of my hormones and answer with a serious look. “I can take a compliment, Brett. Thank you. And you have a lovely chest. Have you been working out more lately?” My tone is saccharine and his gaze narrows on me because he may want to get under my skin, but I have my needs under control.

“You know I do.” He flexes his pecs and even though I feel a clench between my thighs, I swallow hard.

“Excuse me.” I walk past him into the bathroom.

I quickly pee and wash my hands. Then I look in the mirror. You got this, Willow.Brett is your baby’s daddy, but you don’t need to go falling for him. You’re smarter than that. After my little pep talk, I brush my teeth, wash my face, and fix my hair, feeling a new determination. Then I head back to my room and get dressed. Everything about my body has changed since I had Maylee. My hips are a little wider, my breasts fuller, my stomach has also not gone back down to its normal size, and I think my butt is definitely rounder. I opt for a pair of lululemon leggings because they have stretch. I pair them with an oversized sweater since I told Lev I’d come help him sell cheese at the market today and the building it’s in has minimal heat. I slip on my Ugg booties and also grab a thick wool scarf that I wrap around my neck. I apply some lip gloss since my lips feel dry. I’m definitely not trying to impress Brett. My hair was done yesterday at the spa and the hairdresser gave me large waves that still look good today, so I run my fingers through the strands. I spritz some Vanilla Sex perfume on my nape, just behind my earlobes. I may not have worn perfume since coming back to Sugar Meadow, but I am feeling a little more like my old self today. Maybe it was my morning finger action reminding me I am not only a mom but a woman with needs.

I head downstairs where I find Jacob playing with Maylee on a blanket and Brett in the kitchen flipping pancakes.

“Just in time, Honey,” Brett says, eyeing me over his shoulder.

“Don’t Honey me, Brett,” I warn. He called me Honey the night we met at Focus. At first, I thought it was odd but then I liked it. I try not to remember the moment I asked him why he was calling me Honey because I was panting while he went down on me. Just the thought makes my body burn.

Wipe your mind clean and be normal, I tell myself.

“Good morning,” I say to Jacob. “Is Mom around today?” I look around but I don’t see her. She wasn’t upstairs either.

“She didn’t come home last night.” He cringes.

I cringe too.

Mom is making up for all the lost time she had with Dad. She never did cheat on him. They were just miserable and since his death she seems to be getting around. Can’t say I blame her. I’ve been celibate almost a year and a half and I’m coming apart after two days next to Brett.

“Pancakes are ready,” Brett says, and he walks over to the kitchen table with a heaping plate. “Here is the maple syrup and I cut up berries.” He’s wearing a white T-shirt and a pair of gray joggers that show off just how well-endowed he is. I try to keep my focus on his face.

“How domestic of you.” I giggle. “This looks great. Thanks, Brett.”

Lev walks into the room and looks at the table. He grabs two pancakes and stuffs his face. “You ready?” he asks me with a full mouth. I hate not spending time with my baby girl, but I feel it’s important for Brett to have this time with her, so I give him the space I feel he needs to bond with her.

“Willow, do you want to go into town with me tonight?” Brett asks in a by-the-way tone. He’s waiting expectantly.

My jaw falls slack. “What do you mean?”

“There must be a place for adults to go hang out and have adult time around here, right?” He licks his lips and doesn’t hide that he thinks I look good as his gaze makes a slow perusal of my body. It makes me feel uncomfortable because as a physical therapist I was always physically fit, but I’ve had no time to go to a gym since I had Maylee and it makes me feel self-conscious.

“What about Maylee? You can’t exactly take a five-month-old to a bar.” I snort-laugh, bringing the obvious to his attention. Standing so close to him reminds me of how good he smells.

“Got you covered,” Jacob cuts in.

“What?” I look at my brother, feeling confused.

“I’ll babysit,” Jacob clarifies with a smirk and then he winks at Brett.

What in the ever-loving hell is going on here?

I open my mouth and snap it shut.

“It’s not that complicated, Willow. I just thought we could have a fun night out. When is the last time you did some adulting?” he asks. I really can’t give himthe answer to that question.

His brows raise. “That night.”

Jacob hisses beside me.

“I’m a mom. There is no time to adult,” I retort, standing my ground.

“All the more reason you should go out with me. Maylee is in good hands with her uncle.” Brett grins.

“Willow, you coming or not?” Lev asks impatiently.

“Coming,” I say to him.

“You aren’t going to leave me hanging. Are you?” Brett asks.

“Fine, I’ll go out with you, but only so we can discuss our co-parenting schedules,” I concede to him. He may know I find him attractive, but that is where we draw the line.

“Good. Looking forward to tonight,” Brett says, smiling victoriously.

Good-looking asshole.

I can’t explain why the dialogue in my mind has turned terse where Brett is concerned, other than I’m upset he’s shaking up the careful world I’ve constructed for Maylee and me, and it isn’t fair because he’s been kind and helpful. It isn’t his fault my fantasies of that night are flooding my mind and making me horny. I need to tamp that shit down. I kiss my baby girl, really hating to leave her, and say bye to my brother and Brett. I leave for the market with Lev. I also realize I need some much-needed space away from Brett. At least until tonight.

When we get into the cab of the truck, Lev drives off and it only takes him a second to give me a side glance. “You got a persistent baby daddy after you.” He chuckles all deep and throaty.

“I don’t know what’s going on there,” I admit.

“Didn’t you say he was a one-night stand?” Lev asks, looking out onto the road.

“He was. We barely know each other. My friends know him way better than I do.” I explain how Brett’s sister has become part of our friend group since I left town and so by default Brett has gotten closer with everyone. “They say he’s a nice guy. A good uncle.”

“It’s good he’s owning up to his responsibilities where Maylee is concerned, but you told us he’s a fuckboy. Do you really want to get tangled up in a web like that?” Lev asks, throwing me off.

“Brett and I are already tangled because of Maylee. Tonight, I’ll just bang out the boundaries of how that needs to look going forward,” I assure my brother. Don’t know why I used the word bang, even though I could use a thorough fucking.

“That man is after you. You can’t be that blind,” Lev states.

“It doesn’t matter if Brett is attracted to me. There is no way I’m settling down. Can you imagine what a disaster we would be together?” I giggle. “We know nothing about each other. The only thing I know is his daddy issues run deeper than ours. At least our dad stuck around and was okay with us, for the most part. Brett’s dad took off on him all the time. He told me himself he was incapable of settling down, and he really doesn’t want to. What’s happening now is his system is in shock about finding out he has a baby girl, but I’m guessing the hype will die down. Besides, he has to get back to the team in under two weeks. They travel all the time and his home base is in New York. The next time he sees Maylee will probably be offseason,” I say to my brother.

“I just want you to be careful, Willow. I see him pulling out all the stops. I don’t like it,” my brother grumbles.

“I’m a big girl, Lev. I know what I’m doing. Brett’s being helpful now, but a guy like him is probably not capable of focusing on the same person for too long. He’ll move on soon enough.”

“I don’t know.” Lev shakes his head. “He’s got Jacob on his side, helping him out. Jacob is a hard sell.”

“I did find Jacob’s support of Brett to be weird,” I admit. Jacob also had a bad first impression of Brett, with the way Brett tried to fight him at the arena. So I wonder what caused him to make a one-eighty.

“Yeah,” Lev agrees.

We arrive to the market, unload the truck, and go about our day selling cheese. I’m reminded about all the reasons I wanted to leave Sugar Meadow as a teenager. Everyone is up in everyone’s business. The minimal financial opportunities. I’m also reminded of the good things when my old best friend, Lucy, stops by our table.

“I kept hearing you were in town,” she says with a bright smile, holding her very pregnant belly. “But I was starting to believe people were referring to Willow the ghost.”

I giggle. “Yeah, well, I haven’t left the farm much since being back home. If you didn’t catch me in the supermarket, you were out of luck,” I reply with a hint of laughter. Lucy is one of the best people I know. We just lost touch when I went off to college and she stayed behind in Sugar Meadow.

“Well, I’d love some cheese. I crave that gouda cheese and I need more cream cheese because I’ve been making cheesecake like it’s nobody’s business.” She smiles.

“I craved cheesecake when I was pregnant too,” I admit. “But I loved the goat cheese on a good salad too.”

“Oh, that does sound yummy. I’ll take one of those too.” Lucy blushes. She married a guy from one of the wealthier families in town. “I just love cheese, especially when I’m pregnant. Casper always makes fun of me.”

“How is Casper?” I ask. He was a few years older than us.

“Handsome as ever,” she sighs. “That’s why we are on baby number four.”

“Congratulations, I have a daughter. Her name is Maylee, she’s five months old.”

“Well, this little one is only a couple months out of delivery. So they may end up in kindergarten together like we did,” Lucy says. When I moved back to Sugar Meadow, I thought it was a temporary fix for me but with how hard it is to raise a baby on my own I needed my family’s support. Going back to the city would have to wait until I could work full time and have Maylee in school.

“That would be nice,” I reply.

Lev mutters something under his breath about happy people that makes me want to laugh, but I hold back because I truly like Lucy. She was always so kind and warm.

She pays Lev for the cheese and he bags it for her in a pretty red and brown paper bag.

“Well, it was really nice to see you, Willow,” she says.

“It was nice to see you too. We should get the babies together once you’re ready,” I say to her, because I need to stop being a hermit and start socializing. When I was pregnant, I didn’t want the third degree from people in town about who my baby daddy was, so I stayed on the farm. My family doesn’t bring people around so it was safe and secluded.

“I’d love that,” she replies and then she waves bye.

“Take care.” I wave back.

“What her and Casper have can’t be real,” Lev spits. “It’s all an act.”

“What?” I snicker.

“You heard me. Everyone knows of his reputation. Boy couldn’t stick to one girl,” Lev shares.

“Until he found the right one, clearly,” I say.

“Nah, I’m not buying it.”

On some level I don’t buy it either. Only Skylar reunited with Liam. They were high school sweethearts who found each other again, and they are so happy it’s blinding. And Patty found Evan. They may have had a secret affair, but she is over-the-hills happy and also had a baby girl. I don’t know if I’ve missed some memo on love, or if my friends are delusional, but if Lucy is glowing on baby number four then there is either something in the water in Sugar Meadow or she knows something I don’t.

I begin to refill the table with cheese and when I turn around Bonnie is in my face, holding her clutch and grinning. “Willow, I met your baby daddy.”

My stomach churns. Not sure how to answer that one.

“Nice, he said he met a bunch of people in the supermarket,” I answer because I am petty, and I don’t want her to think she stood out to Brett.

“It was so adorable to see him with that cute baby girl of yours,” she says. “And what a looker he is.”

“Yes, he is a good-looking man,” I confirm. I don’t want to use Brett’s name when referencing him because I don’t want Bonnie to look him up on the internet, even though she maybe has already.

“And a star athlete,” she adds and my stomach dips. Just great. “He said you two were together. Since when? I haven’t seen him around town before.”

“Snoopy bitch,” Lev coughs under his hand.

I give my brother a wide-eyed look and with my eyes urge him to chill out. I don’t think Bonnie understood him though.

“Hi, Lev, what goods do you have for me today?” she asks and the way she is grinning at him makes me think. . .

“What you see on the table is what we have,” he replies dryly. And holy shit. I think Lev must have taken her to bed at some point.

I cringe.

“It is cold in here,” Bonnie notes because she caught on to the cold shiver that ran up my spine when I realized she is one of my brother’s conquests.

“It is,” I agree.

Bonnie takes some goat cheese and cream cheese. She smiles at Lev and he grunts at her. Then she says, “You should really come out dancing. The Rustic Bull is still lots of fun.”

“We’ll be heading there tonight,” I say.

Bonnie’s eyes round like I’ve surprised her. “Yay, let the fun begin.” She winks and pays Lev for the cheese and then she waves. “Catch you later, Willow.”

“Yeah,” I say dryly. Then I turn on my brother. “You slept with Bonnie, of all people?” I smack his shoulder.

“It was one time and it was a mistake. I was drunk,” he admits,

“Gross.”

“I barely remember but she won’t let me forget it,” he states, unimpressed.

“She went after all my boyfriends in high school. Every single one,” I tell him.

“And it looks like she wants Brett too,” he adds, and inside I feel a pang of something I don’t like.

“Whatever,” I say casually. “She can have Brett.”

“Am I detecting some jealousy from you?” He chuckles, knowing exactly how to press my buttons.

“Fuck off,” I throw to him playfully.

“Now who’s getting pissy?” Lev laughs like a five-year-old.

I roll my eyes. “I need coffee.” I walk away and he shouts to me that he wants one too.

The rest of the day goes by uneventfully. We make it back to the farm just after four.

“What’s this?” I lift an Amazon package with my name on it that was left at our front door. “I didn’t order anything.”

Lev shrugs.

I walk in to see Brett playing kids songs and dancing for Maylee, who is in his arms laughing and looking entertained. My heart skitters.

“Hey there,” I greet them.

“Brett, did you order this package? It has my name on it,” I say, holding the small brown box up.

“I ordered it for you,” he replies.

I turn away to the kitchen sink to wash my hands. Then I take Maylee from him and spread small kisses on her soft cheeks. “Did you miss your mama?”

“She missed you a lot,” Brett confirms, as if he knows that is what I need to hear. “You’re actually just in time. I was about to warm up a bottle.”

“I can just nurse her,” I offer. I take a seat on the couch and lift my sweater. I’m wearing a nursing bra so there is easy access.

“I’ll clean the kitchen,” Brett mumbles.

“You didn’t need to order me anything,” I say.

“Oh, I did,” he replies in a weird way. “You need to take care of yourself.”

“That’s kind of you, Brett. I appreciate all your help.”

He turns and looks at me and then he comes over to the couch. He looks serious but I don’t know him all that well so I don’t know what that look means.

“Willow, I don’t want you thanking me for taking care of my own daughter. She is mine and she is my responsibility, just like she is yours. I hate that you went through everything on your own until now, but I am planning to be here for both of you from here on out.”

I shift but not much because Maylee is eating from me. My lower lip quivers. “Brett, you are going back to work soon. Your home base is New York. This daily help won’t be sustainable.”

“I have to work but we can figure something out,” he says.

“I won’t have Maylee bouncing back and forth between New York and Sugar Meadow,” I snap.

His hand lands on my thigh almost like he wants to calm me, but that isn’t the effect it has because his touch feels like fire. Brett is a big guy with large hands and capable fingers.

My thighs clench.

“I would never do that to our daughter,” he says, his searing blue eyes boring into mine.

For some reason I believe him. I could be wrong but he doesn’t seem like the kind of guy to take me to court over custody. At least I hope he isn’t.

“Go out with me tonight. Let’s relax and talk and get to know each other a little better,” he urges.

“Okay,” I exhale, breathing out a sigh of relief, even though I’m not sure why.

With Maylee breastfed Brett tells me to go have a nap so that I am energized for tonight. He also says he is going to get started on dinner. I’ve never met a man who is so domesticated before, but I’m liking it.

“I’ll go take a bath,” I say to him.

“You should take that box with you.” He points with his chin.

I look at it curiously and take it. I begin to open it but he looks at the door and flinches.

“What?” I ask.

“I think it’s best you open that box in your bedroom or the bathroom or something,” he mumbles.

“What did you do?” I ask him, my eyes narrowing on him.

“Taking care of you,” he responds thoughtfully.

“I know how to take care of myself,” I shoot back because I know not to rely on a man, not even my father, may he rest in peace.

“I know, Willow, but this kind of care is better done by an outside party,” he says. I don’t know what that is supposed to mean, but he winks.

I look at the mystery box and take it upstairs without another word. When I get to my room, I open it.

“What the ever-loving. . .” I hold up the vibrator. It says it has two modes for vaginal penetration and clitoral stimulation.

Damn him.

I’ve never owned one of these things, but my girlfriends have spoken enough about their use of vibrators back in New York.

The box says it’s silent and waterproof.

I receive a text message and quickly check my phone.

Brett: Enjoy your bath wink emoji>

I don’t reply but my blood turns hot.

I fill up a bath and take my new toy with me. I place it between my thighs and, holy crap. I come in under a minute. What is this craziness? I go for a second round, thinking of Brett. What was he thinking buying me this toy? But before I can really think of anything another orgasm rolls over me.

When I get into bed to nap, I am very relaxed. I’ve had enough orgasms I shouldn’t be thinking of Brett but instead, all that action has made me want him more.

Feeling unsettled, I text my friend, Skylar, in New York. I would call her because she is probably done with classes for the day since she is in law school, but I don’t want Brett to hear the conversation.

Me: I don’t know what to make of Brett. He’s being helpful with Maylee. He’s cooking and taking care of our baby.

It only takes her a few seconds to respond.

Skylar:I told you he’s a good guy.

Me: He’s a fuckboy

Skylar: Maybe he has what he wants so he’s giving up that lifestyle.

Me:He bought me a vibrator.

Skylar: Why? wide-eyed emoji>

Me: I don’t know. He gave it to me and texted me that I should go enjoy my bath.

Skylar: He wants you.

Me: I have my daughter to worry about. I can’t screw things up with Brett. We need to be on good terms.And I don’t really know him.

Skylar:Then get to know him. Sounds like he wants to get to know you. Wink. Wink.

Me:You know me. I’m not ever settling down.

Skylar: Well, maybe you need to reconsider that. Like I told you, every pot has a lid and we clearly know Brett’s lid fits your pot.

Me:You’re terrible.

Skylar:No, I’m a friend who wants to see you happy, and you need a good railing, Willow. A vibrator is fun but it doesn’t compare to the real thing.

Me:I have to be careful with Brett.

Skylar:You can be careful and still get to know your baby daddy.

I do need to get to know Brett better for Maylee’s sake, but that shouldn’t include orgasms. I’m scared of what all this means. I don’t know about happy ever afters. They don’t exist in my world. I can’t even allow myself to go there.

Skylar:I know it can be scary. I was terrified when Liam showed up out of nowhere and shook up my world, but he tore down my walls in the best way and I would never go back.

Me:I don’t think my story has that kind of ending.

Skylar:You’re the author of your own life. You get to choose.

Me:Thanks for talking, babe. My head is spinning. I don’t know what I want.

Skylar:Keep me posted and take some risks.

I mull over her words and then fall asleep, hoping not to dream about the burly hockey player in my family room, but that isn’t what happens.