Chapter 18
Willow
I get in the Uber feeling my heart splitting in two, which doesn’t make sense because Brett and I aren’t together. That is why I friend zoned him, so we would have boundaries. I wouldn’t have expectations, which I knew would eventually be crushed because that is what a relationship does. It destroys your faith in love until you are a shadow of the person you once were. It’s snowing outside and I watch the small flakes falling from the sky. I love New York and it is good to be back, but I don’t think I can handle living with Brett. It was a huge mistake. My heart does its own thing around him. How could it not? He is so good with Maylee, the way he feeds her and sings to her. He’s so loving. In all my dreams I never pictured him being this way. He has a big heart. Maybe too big of a heart because he really likes the ladies too. The list of women he’s been with is daunting. It’s too much for me. I can’t compete and I don’t want to. Setting boundaries with Brett doesn’t seem to do the trick in curbing my feelings either. Not when I got off to thoughts of him and then had that crazy dream of me and him having sex on his large bed. The Uber pulls up in front of my old job and it feels good to be getting parts of my life back.
I enter the gym, which has a distinct scent, and I inhale. I loved my job. I always enjoyed working out but that wasn’t an option back in Sugar Meadow because my family was always too busy to watch Maylee, and the gym is so small it didn’t have a day care. I say hello to familiar faces and get introduced to new employees.
“Willow, it’s so good to see you,” my old boss, Silas Blay, greets me with his hand extended.
I shake his hand. “Good to see you, Silas.” He pulls me in for a hug. Oh, okay.
“You too. You’re looking great. How is your little baby?” he asks.
“She’s good. Five months old and keeping me busy,” I reply then realize that is maybe the wrong thing to say.
“Not too busy to come back to work,” he states.
“No, I’m ready for work. I spoke with Natasha in the day care and they have room for her,” I explain.
“Perfect,” he says. “Come, let’s take a seat in my office.”
I follow Silas to the management office. He’s been working at this gym for a good decade. He’s in his mid-thirties, he’s tall built and handsome. I used to think he was interested in me but I wasn’t interested in him. It’s funny how chemistry can work. That first night I met Brett I was losing my head over him.
Silas motions for me to take a seat. “What type of hours were you looking for? Truth is, we could really use you on Saturdays. I’m happy to give you hours during the week too, but I need to at least have you come in on one of the weekend days.”
“I can make that work. It’s more evenings that would be complicated for me,” I say.
“Okay, that’s great. We have a lot of new members, and I am sure some of your old clients will be happy to have you back.”
“Thanks. I’m super excited to be coming back to work.”
“Can you start this Sunday? I’ll ask Yana to get you on the schedule,” Silas says with a wide grin, showcasing white pearly teeth. His green eyes feel like they are glowing or maybe it’s because of the contrast with his spray tan.
“Thanks so much, Silas. I’ll confirm everything with Natasha.”
“Well, we are glad to have you back,” he says and, geez, does he smile a lot. I don’t remember noticing that before.
“Glad to be back.” I stand.
“You take care,” he says.
“You too, see you soon.” I leave his office and blow out a breath, feeling like it was a bit of an awkward interaction. I’m not so crazy about having to come into work on the weekend, but I can’t be picky after being gone for so long. I’m just happy they needed me. When I trained as a physical therapist, I was taught to train athletes. I also trained in clinics with injuries. The clinics are the place to make better money, but it’s hard to find a job in that kind of setting. Besides, I think the gym will be a good place for me to get back in the swing of things.
I stop by the day care and speak to Natasha since she is the manager. We make a plan for me to be in touch once Yana calls me with my schedule. I’m about to leave the gym when I realize I don’t have an Uber account and I am not calling Brett to send me a car. I take a seat on one of the benches in the front entrance so I can set up my own account. I download the app and I begin to put in my information when Silas walks by, wearing a black winter puffer coat.
“Do you need a ride somewhere?” he asks.
“That’s okay, thanks. I was just about to call an Uber,” I reply.
“Don’t be silly, I was just leaving. I can drop you off,” he says without knowing where I need to go.
I give him Brett’s address.
“Are you sure it isn’t out of the way for you?” I double-check.
“It’s not far from where I need to go,” he states.
“Thanks.”
I head out to the parking lot with Silas, and we get into his Honda CRV.
We head into traffic.
“You’re originally from Tennessee, right?” he asks.
“Yup,” I say, surprised he remembers. I don’t have much of an accent since I tried really hard to lose it when I moved to New York for college.
“Cool. I can’t imagine what it’s like living in a small town. I’ve lived in the city all my life,” he says.
“Life is definitely slower back in Sugar Meadow.”
“Oh, that’s such a cute name,” he says.
I’m not sure what to say to that.
“Thanks?”
He laughs. “You’re adorable, Willow.”
I freeze.
He doesn’t notice.
“So does your family have a farm out there with horses and the works?” he asks.
“Yup, we got horses, goats, and sheep and my one brother makes cheese from the sheep and goats’ milk. We are a true farming family.”
“So cool.”
We drive for another five minutes in silence. When I point for him to drop me at the curb in front of Brett’s building, he says, “Whoa, nice place.”
“Thanks,” I reply without further explanation. I obviously couldn’t afford a place like this on a trainer’s salary. “I appreciate the ride.”
“Take care,” he says.
I leave his SUV and head inside the apartment. Brett is going to want to talk about my reaction at the restaurant, but I don’t really have anything to say. I’m not going to tell him I feel like I can never match up to his previous conquests. It also wasn’t cool of him to take me to a place where he’s clearly slept with the waitresses, although that may put all restaurants in the vicinity of this apartment on an off-limits list if I said something. Brett has a busy past where women are concerned. I knew this about him from the first night we met. It was supposed to only be one night of lust, and yet here we are. He’s pushing for more. I don’t know what to do. Not when I have feelings for him. This whole situation feels like my heart is on a train going way too fast with the inevitability it’s going to crash.