Chapter 8
Chapter Eight
Jeremiah
H azel’s hand on the doorknob brings everything into focus. This is it. The end of us. Earlier than agreed upon, but there’s no help for it.
For three weeks, I’ve kicked my own ass for coming up with this absurd bargain.
Now, we’ve reached the point where excuses and loopholes to spend time with her feel as flimsy and transparent as they actually are.
Worse, I’ve been unable to progress anything between us while the agreement is in effect.
Not for lack of desire, but because it feels gross to make a move on Hazel when she’s technically working off a debt with our bargain.
“Wait. Don’t leave yet.” The words tumble from my mouth without my brain thinking them through first.
“What’s wrong?” Hazel turns from the door, and I notice the way her eyes have gone red and watery. My heart stumbles, and nerves steal my breath. I shouldn’t be this tangled up. If anything, her visible upset should be confirmation my feelings aren’t one sided.
Her tears break something in me, though. Something that demands immediate war. I worry it’s me causing her sadness, and it’s nearly more than I can bear. My feet bring me to her with no conscious direction, helpless to do anything less than attempt to comfort her.
“Don’t cry. Whatever I did, I’ll undo it.” My promise brings more tears, and I want to claw off my skin in apology.
“You didn’t do anything wrong, Jeremiah. I’m just…” She trails off, and the silence between us is unacceptable.
“Talk to me. We’re friends now, right? At least, that much.” Wrapping her in my arms is as natural as breathing.
I move us back into the house until my knees bump against the sofa and I direct us to sit on the worn leather. I keep my arm around her, holding her against me, though it means we’re not face to face.
Hazel curls her body into mine, her face tucking under my chin and until she’s twisted enough to nearly be on my lap.
Carefully, I lean forward and to the side so I can arch my lap away from her hip.
The last thing I need is my unruly dick making it obvious how little care it gives for the emotionally fraught tension between us.
It’s just so fucking happy to be this close to her.
“What are we doing?” she asks.
“What I should have done weeks ago. Months, really,” I answer.
Hazel pulls away from me, just far enough to tilt her face and look into my eyes. Nerves jangle my insides so badly I nearly backtrack everything by pushing her away. Instead, I lock away my shyness and allow her to see the vulnerability and desire battling for control within me.
She smiles at me, her eyes crinkling in the corners and dancing with excitement. At the confirmation I’m not alone in feeling this chemistry, desire overtakes my nerves. The slightest urging has her throwing a leg over my thighs and straddling my lap.
“Why didn’t you?” There’s nothing snide about her question, but defensiveness creeps like acid reflux up my throat.
Hazel’s too new to Starlight Bay to know my history.
My shame. For the most part, my adolescent bullying has faded into the shadows of people’s memories.
Especially when I came home from college with a new attitude and a commitment to preventing bullies from treating classmates the way I had when I was young.
It wasn’t until a few years ago, when my colleague Blaise fell in love with a man who had been my biggest rival and most mistreated victim in high school, that anyone remembered what a jerk I’d been back then.
Simon moved back to Starlight Bay to rescue his family’s pizza shop, and the two of them met and fell in love.
Blaise had been shocked to learn of my embarrassing past. I had been convinced I’d never live it down, since it seemed as though the torment I’d put him through in the past was enough to send Simon right back out of town.
He’d proved to be a better man than I’d been in high school and stuck around.
Simon had allowed me to apologize and make things as right as they could be.
Now, I count him and Blaise as friends, though I don’t deserve the second chance.
“Why didn’t I make a move on you when we first met?” I’m stalling.
“Yes, Jeremiah. Why didn’t you ask me out or at least, try to get to know me when I first started? It seemed like you thought I was a complete airhead who wasn’t worth being around.” Her perception of when we met is embarrassing.
No matter how much I try to overcome my natural shyness and awkwardness, it always seems to kick up when I’m around new people.
Especially when I’m in an environment where I expect the gossip to haunt me, if and when I try to date someone.
It’s beyond belief to hope no one whispered my shameful story to her over the last few weeks, trying to convince her I’m not worth her time.
“You and Blaise got to be friends really quickly,” I say, expecting her to realize what I’m getting at, but it’s obvious from the confusion in her eyes she’s not making the connection.
“You must have heard the gossip about me.”