CHAPTER 1
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“I ’m going to ask CeCe to marry me.” Her brother’s declaration should not have come as a surprise, but that didn’t stop Mallory Lawson from choking on her hamburger, a blob of ketchup sliding down her chin.
Dabbing her face with a napkin, Mallory collected herself before asking her brother for the dirt. “Um, when?”
Evan leaned back in his seat, his own burger completely forgotten. He crossed his arms over his chest and stared down his sister. “Um, when? Geez, Mal. I was expecting a little more enthusiasm.” He flapped his hands between them. “Really? When? Hopefully CeCe will be a little more excited.” His lips dipped in a frown, and Mallory hated that she was the cause. Her little brother was her best friend, and while they loved to tease each other, Mallory would take a bullet for the man sitting in front of her. She had no doubt he would do the same.
Holding her hands up she said, “In my defense, I thought you brought me out to talk about our plans for Mom’s birthday. Telling me you’re going to pop the question is a big freaking deal.” After lowering her hands, she balled up her napkin and tossed it onto her plate. Despite her excitement, she felt a tug in her gut she wasn’t ready to decipher.
Could it be indigestion or jealousy? It was anyone’s guess.
“I’m aware, but come on. This can’t be a surprise.” Evan picked up his soda and drained its contents in one gulp. She’d kill to have his metabolism.
Mallory studied her burger, now cooling and half-eaten. It wasn’t that she was surprised, or even upset, by her brother’s announcement. He and CeCe had been dating for well over a year, and they’d been friends for longer than that. They clicked together, like the last two pieces in a puzzle, and she couldn’t think of a better couple to walk down the aisle. The trouble wasn’t the person Evan wanted to legally bind himself to, but the fact that it was her brother. Her little brother, who was a year younger and already settled down. She would never begrudge him his happiness, but it certainly made her feel like an old maid. And Mallory hated how surly she must look.
Squaring her shoulders, she met Evan’s gaze and started over. “It’s not a surprise, and I think it’s a great idea.”
Finally relaxing, Evan grinned and leaned closer. “You do?”
Mallory waved off Evan’s question. “Of course I do. CeCe is one of my favorite people, and you two are clearly made for each other.” Evan’s smile only grew at her words, and she started to feel better. The world didn’t make sense if her brother wasn’t smiling. He had this joyful, easy-going manner about him that was so contagious the CDC had him ranked as an infectious disease.
The waiter came by with their check, which Evan promptly swiped off the table. “I’ve got this,” he told a protesting Mallory. “I just signed that contract for the website for the law firm off Main Street.”
Reaching out, Mallory yanked the slip from his grasp and stuck out her tongue. “I just got a raise at the hospital. Save the money for the ring.”
Evan snatched the slip back and tucked it into his jacket pocket. “I’m using Nana Lawson’s ring, so I don’t need to save.”
His statement brought Mallory up short, her dinner doing somersaults in her stomach. Bile rose, and she had to clear her throat twice before words formed. “You’re taking Nana’s ring?” The question escaped on a whimper. Eyes burning, she forced herself to blink back the tears. Maybe she could pass them off as happy tears?
Not sensing her concern, Evan shrugged. “Yeah, why not? Sophie and Emily didn’t want it, and I think it would suit CeCe.” There was no doubt the ring would match CeCe’s low-maintenance lifestyle. The white gold band was simple, yet studded with a ruby and diamonds. She could see her future sister-in-law cooking up a storm with the ring, her nimble fingers making short work on a ball of bread dough.
Yet there was something hanging in the air between them—words left unsaid that made Mallory flinch. What Evan wasn’t saying, what no one wanted to admit, was that Mallory didn’t have any prospects of her own. Usually undeterred by her single status, she now felt like expired milk left to curdle in the refrigerator. Their nana had left the ring to her grandchildren to use as they saw fit. She knew her elder sisters wouldn’t want the ring, as they both had different tastes and didn’t respect the tradition of wearing a family heirloom.
On the other hand—literally—Mallory had often borrowed the ring as a girl and performed fake wedding ceremonies. One time she married her teddy bear, Mr. Beany, while another time had her Barbie wear the ring as a necklace for her wedding to Ken. One of the few benefits of Evan trashing her doll collection was that Barbie’s head now came off with ease for wardrobe changes and accessorizing.
In the further reaches of her memory, Mallory had another time she’d played fantasy wedding. A summer’s afternoon on a farm, the breeze filled with the hint of fall and the aroma of apples and spice. That had been a fun day, a day that she should not remember with such vivid clarity—or such longing. But Mallory wasn’t ready to think about that memory, or the boy attached to it. Now wasn’t the time. But then again, it rarely was.
Evan snapped his fingers in front of her face. “Earth to Mal.” He chuckled as she came back to the moment. “You’re a million miles away. What’s up with you today?”
Mallory sighed. She was exhausted from working another double shift in the ER. She loved her job as a nurse, but there were times she felt like a wrung-out sponge; dried up, misshapen, and generally ignored. Even this impromptu meal with her brother came after a twelve-hour shift. She hadn’t even bothered to go home and change, opting to keep her scrubs and messy ponytail. If she went home to freshen up, she’d likely fall asleep in the bathtub and drown. For all the ways she imagined herself dying, drowning alone at twenty-eight in her bathroom wasn’t at the top of the list.
“Sorry, I guess I’m just tired.” Her breath escaped in a long puff, her shoulders slumping. Mallory blindly hoped her brother would leave it, but that wasn’t Evan’s style. He was a dog with a bone—worse, a golden retriever with a favorite toy. His eyes shone with hope and concern.
“What have you been up to?” he asked, reaching over to steal a few of her forgotten French fries.
Mallory swatted his hand away and huffed out a humorless laugh. “Saving lives? I don’t know, Ev. It seems like lately all I do is work.”
“That’s not true. You came by and helped with the food truck at the county fair last month.”
With a snort, she nodded. “Yeah. Somehow I feel like working at my brother’s food truck isn’t exactly a relaxing vacation, or even much of a social life.” Saying it out loud stung, but Mallory rallied.
Evan was offended. “We had a blast.”
Mallory couldn’t argue with him, because she did have fun. The trouble was, she didn’t have the same type of fun as everyone else. The truck was owned by Max, who was Evan’s boss and friend. Max and his wife Ginny were there, as were Evan and CeCe. The four of them included her, but it didn’t stop the fifth wheel sensation from creeping in. She was used to tagging along to other couple’s events, but it didn’t mean she always liked it. She wanted her own other half, someone just for her.
More often than not recently, Mallory craved more from life. Her sisters were both married with kids and careers, and they didn’t live as close as they used to. Evan and Mallory had always been close, but he was busy expanding his freelance web design career, working at the diner, and seeing CeCe. She didn’t fault her brother his success, or his relationship, but she still felt like the odd woman out.
And the ring. She hated how much she resented the loss of something that wasn’t even hers. A tiny voice in her head shouted at her to stand up for what she wanted, but she didn’t want to make it an issue. Evan seemed set on the ring, and she needed to respect it and move on. Granted she’d mourn the loss of something that was never really hers, but that didn’t mean she couldn’t be an adult about the whole thing. He was getting married first, and that was that.
Desperate to change the subject, she went back to the reason they got together in the first place. “So how are you going to pop the question?”
Evan’s eyes lit up as he explained his grand plan. “I have a few ideas,” he started, licking his lips as he rattled off his thoughts. “My first option is something simple, intimate. We’re always staying late at the diner, and since it’s where we met, I thought it might be nice to do something there.”
Mallory didn’t hate the idea, as it was clearly a special place to Evan and CeCe. “I think there’s potential there. What else are you thinking?”
“You know how we’re going to Chicago in a few weeks?” Mallory nodded and Evan continued. “Well, I was thinking it might be nice to do something there. It used to be CeCe’s home, and she’s going to show me around all her favorite spots. Maybe I could do it from the deck of the Hancock Building? Or down by the lake? I don’t know, that’s still just a thought.” He shook his empty glass, the ice rattling in time with her heart.
“Whatever you decide, don’t make it a spectacle. You know CeCe would hate to be the center of attention.” Her future sister-in-law was a lot of fun and clearly in love with her brother, but she was also no-nonsense and hated public displays of affection.
Evan rolled his eyes, easily slipping back into bratty brother mode. “Oh wow, really Mal? You don’t think I know what my fiancée would like?”
At the mention of the word fiancée , both Lawson siblings beamed and giggled. “Oh my God, Ev. You’re going to get married.” Mallory covered her chest with her hand as tears prickle her eyes.
“She has to say yes first,” Evan said, humor tinging his voice.
“She will.” Mallory had no doubt. These two people were made for each other, and she looked forward to watching their new life unfold. Evan doted on CeCe, and she kept him on his toes. It’ll be a fabulous life for two of her favorite people.
Evan reached out to pat his sister’s arm. “Thanks. I hope you know I want you standing up there with me on the big day.”
“Aww, Ev. Are you asking me to be your best man?”
Blanching, Evan pulled his hand back and rubbed at the back of his neck. “Well, uh. I was thinking of asking Foxy to be my best man. We’ve been friends forever, and I thought it made sense to have him up there.” Watching his sister’s face fall, he hastened to add, “But you’re right. Gender stereotypes are BS, and I should be able to have a woman up there with me. Besides, CeCe hardly knows Foxy.”
Every mention of Foxy, or Beckett Fox as he was known by everyone else on the planet, felt like taking a punch right to the solar plexus. “You’re asking Beckett?” Saying his name brought a flush to Mallory’s cheeks and a sense of dreaded anticipation coursed through her. She covered her nerves by chugging her water. God, she wished it was something stronger.
“Yeah? I mean, of course. Foxy would kill it, that is if you don’t mind. I assumed you, Em, and Sophie would be busy with girly things with CeCe. Foxy can handle the bachelor party and all the crap I don’t even know to think about.” It all made sense, naturally it did, but that didn’t stop Mallory from gasping for air. Every second spent thinking and talking about Beckett took months off her life.
The reasons didn’t matter, but they were justified. Because since they were kids, playing around his family farm, Mallory had been utterly in love with Beckett Fox. From his lopsided smile and crooked glasses to how funny and sweet he was, Mallory had fallen for Beckett years ago and learned how to hide her feelings. You didn’t date your brother’s best friend, and you certainly didn’t fantasize about what would’ve happened if you ever saw each other again. Nope—definitely not .
After clearing her throat past the growing lump, Mallory asked, “And where does Beckett live now?”
She prayed it was somewhere remote and far away, like Arizona or Siberia. But Evan quickly burst that bubble. “He’s actually just got a place in Buckeye Falls.”
Mallory didn’t hear a word after that. Her ears rang like she was in a church bell tower. Beckett was back in central Ohio, and suddenly her girlhood crush didn’t seem so simple. How would she function knowing he was around? They would breathe the same air, walk the same streets. Buckeye Falls wasn’t that big, so they were bound to run into each other.
Beckett was coming home, which meant Mallory had to put her heart into Witness Protection.
*
B eckett Fox dropped the last of the boxes onto the floor, his back aching and his face covered in a sheen of sweat. His glasses slid down his nose for the fifth time in as many minutes and he cursed himself for not wearing contacts. To save a few bucks on moving, he’d opted to skip the moving crew in favor of free labor that only lifelong friends could provide. As he came up behind him, Beckett heard Evan drop a box and huff out a sigh.
“Man, if we’re this exhausted now, imagine when we’re in our thirties.” Lifting his shirt up, Evan dabbed at the perspiration on his brow.
Once he’d plodded toward the kitchen, Beckett snagged two beers from the fridge and handed one to Evan. They clinked bottles before falling back onto the couch, which was still covered in plastic wrap. The couch made a squeaky sound as Evan got comfortable. “Thanks for coming out and helping, Lawless.”
Evan smirked at his old nickname and took a long pull from his beer. “Anytime, Foxy.” Surveying the mess around them, Evan quickly amended, “Well, maybe not anytime soon.” He grimaced as he shifted again on the couch. “I think I pulled a muscle I didn’t know I had.”
Beckett chuckled as he sipped from his beer. It had been a long few months, and he was relieved to finally be in his own space again. “Hopefully this is my last move for a while.” He thought of the big empty house he used to share with his grandfather and bit back a grimace. It was time to put it on the market, but he wasn’t ready yet. Some places were too important. Some memories were too important...
Over the last months, Beckett had watched his role model and only living relative wither away before his eyes. Cancer had taken every ounce of strength Gramps had, but it never dulled his spirit or sense of humor. During one of his last lucid nights, he’d called Beckett into his room. This wasn’t unusual, but his request was.
“I want you to do me a favor, son,” Gramps had said between coughing fits punctuated with bloody handkerchiefs. He’d covered his mouth and heaved again, and when Beckett saw the red spots, he felt weak and powerless against the disease eating his Gramps from the inside. The man before him was a mere shadow to the vibrant, joyful man of his memory.
Beckett squeezed his hands into fists and fought a surge of tears. He wanted to stay strong, even up until the end. He could fall apart later; he would fall apart later. “Anything, Gramps.”
Patting his grandson’s balled fists, the older man pulled himself upright and met his gaze. Lately his green eyes had been glassy, fogged over from months of chemo and medications. But at that moment, they were crystal clear and laser-focused on Beckett. “I want you to find your other half and settle down. When I’m gone, there’s no reason for you to stay in this old house alone. Go out, find your girl, and make a life for yourself.”
Shaking his head, Beckett feared the old man had lost it. “I don’t have a girl, Gramps.” Beckett hadn’t even had a date in over two years. From Gramps’s diagnosis and treatments to working overtime to pay all the bills, he barely had time to catch up with friends let alone find a girlfriend. Well, and there was the other reason, but he wasn’t dwelling on that now.
“Don’t play coy with your old grandfather,” he’d chided. “We all know you do.”
Forcing out a laugh, Beckett tried to lighten the mood. “I want to know what new meds Nurse Flannery is giving you, because I want some. It doesn’t seem fair that you get all the fun.” He winked, feeling anything but playful.
“I’m talking about the Lawson girl,” Gramps said with more force than Beckett had heard in months.
Color drained from Beckett’s face at the mention of Mallory. To say he hadn’t thought about her in a while was a lie; a lie so big it threatened to consume him. But he wouldn’t stew on that now. Barely able to speak, he asked, “What do you mean?”
Emerald eyes staring into his soul, his grandfather confirmed Beckett’s suspicions. “Mallory, of course. I want you to find her and figure it out.”
“Figure it out?”
Gramps nodded vehemently.
“Gramps, Mallory is a friend, not the New York Times Sunday crosswords.” The term friend did not fit Mallory. For starters, they hadn’t seen or spoken to each other in ages, not since his grandmother’s funeral when he’d mucked it all up.
When college was done, both went in search of their own futures. The biggest reason they hadn’t seen each other was because of who Mallory was—his best friend’s sister. He would never do anything to jeopardize his friendship with Evan, even if it did break his heart. But that didn’t mean Beckett didn’t screw things up when he had the chance, a reality he was still trying to avoid.
What didn’t make sense now was Gramps’s insistence that he find Mallory. To his knowledge, he’d never shared his true feelings about her to anyone, least of all his grandfather. Pulling himself to standing, Beckett stepped back toward the door. “I’m going to find your afternoon pills, okay?”
“You can find all you want, but you must listen to me. I don’t have a lot of time left, but I need to know you’re taken care of.”
Misunderstanding, Beckett gestured over his shoulder to his grandfather’s desk. Stacked neatly in the center of the desktop were stacks of legal documents. Everything from his will to his bank statements were morbidly stacked and filed, ready for the old man’s demise. “I have everything sorted out with your attorney. Remember, Gramps?”
Raising his hand and slapping the top of his mattress, his grandfather grew agitated. “I’m dying, I’m not senile. I know all the legal stuff is sorted. What I’m talking about, son, is love. You need to follow your heart and get your girl.”
“Gramps, I—” Beckett’s voice faltered. He had no idea how long his grandfather had known his feelings for Mallory. Worse yet, he didn’t know if that meant everyone knew.
“Your grandmother saw it first, back when you were children.” Resting his head back on his pillows, Gramps stared up at the ceiling as if watching a movie, his eyes darting all over the exposed beams. “I remember she found you two playing out back, holding hands and singing a little song. She told me you’d met your soulmate, and I wasn’t going to argue.”
His grandfather’s story shook Beckett, who stumbled back to his perch on the edge of the bed. “Soulmate?”
Cutting his hand through the air, the older man continued. “Your Gram, bless that woman, was a romantic. When we met after the war, she said she knew we were meant to be.” He stopped his story long enough to shake his head and smile. “That woman knew more about me in five minutes of meeting than I did about myself in the first twenty years of my life. Here I was, back from Vietnam and ready to live again. I didn’t want a wife and kids, but bless her, she knew we were meant to be.”
“You and Gram were amazing together,” Beckett said, trying to keep the subject on track. But it was no use. Gramps was on a mission.
“So as I was saying, you need to ask your friend Evan for Mallory’s number. Cut the crap and get your girl. Life is short, son. I want to die knowing you are taken care of, and she is the one who will do the best job.”
“This isn’t an interview, it’s real life. And I’m not even sure she wants to see me.” That statement made Beckett’s skin crawl; worse than the time he’d walked through a massive spider’s web in the barn. Mindlessly, he’d pawed at his skin to shake the sensation.
As Gramps closed his eyes and drifted off to sleep, he muttered, “Life is only sweet because you share it with your person.”
Those words rang through Beckett’s head on a loop for a month until Gramps finally passed. They clanged around his skull now, too, as he sat with Evan in his new apartment. Lost in his musings, Beckett had missed something Evan had said.
“I’m sorry, man. What did you say?”
Evan drained his beer then placed the bottle on a stack of boxes. “I said, I want to ask a favor.”
Beckett snorted. “Considering you just spent your day off helping me unload a moving truck, I can’t really say no.”
Evan grinned, one of Beckett’s favorite sights. His buddy was like a golden retriever in human form, always happy and always willing to help. If he had a tail, it would doubtlessly wag every minute of every day. He loved the guy like a brother, like family. “I’m going to ask CeCe to marry me, and I’d like you to be my best man.”
His beer forgotten, Beckett leaned over to clap his friend on the back. “Oh, wow, congratulations. Of course, I’ll be your best man. When are you popping the question?”
Evan slumped with relief at his friend’s eager agreement. “Not sure, but soon. I’ve been talking to Mal about it, but I haven’t decided on the perfect proposal yet.”
The mention of Mallory spiked Beckett’s blood pressure, and he had to look away. His cheeks flushed so hot, the wall paper threatened to melt off the walls. Damn his pasty Irish ancestors for blessing him with fiery red hair and skin as white as Wonder Bread. Surely Evan could see what mentions of Mallory did to him. He might as well wear a neon sign professing his love for his best friend’s sister. Nothing to see here, folks. I’m just drowning in my love for Mallory Lawson.
After pulling himself to his feet, Beckett stalked back to the fridge for more liquid courage. The topic of Mallory rarely relaxed him. “So, um, how is Mallory?” He was fairly certain she was local and still single, but he’d never pushed the issue with Evan. His grandfather’s words rang through his head as he waited for an answer. Please be good news...
Clearly not picking up on his friend’s inner turmoil, Evan kicked his feet out and propped them up on a box of books. “She’s good. Still an ER nurse over in Columbus, but she lives pretty close to here. Neither of us wanted to be in the same town as our parents, and Buckeye Falls is too perfect.”
He wouldn’t get an argument out of Beckett, who always loved visiting the little hamlet. The people were friendly, the food scene was inspired, and the cost of living couldn’t be beat. When the time came to start planning his future, it only seemed natural to come here. And it had nothing to do with a certain brunette nurse with a heart of gold. Nope, not one bit.
Evan checked his smart watch and groaned. “I hate to move and run, but I promised CeCe I’d be home for dinner.”
Beckett strode to the door and cupped his friend’s shoulder. “Look at you, Lawless, all domestic.”
“Pfft, it’s pretty great, Foxy. Don’t knock it ’til you try it.” He bounded toward his car, spinning on his heel before getting behind the wheel. “Hey. How do you feel about a little housewarming in a week or two? You could meet some of the other Buckeyes. It could be fun.”
Since he was currently speaking to his only local friend, Beckett could not disagree with Evan’s logic. “Sure, sounds fun.”
“Great! I’ll get Mal on it. You know she loves to plan a party.” With a final wave, Evan got in his car and drove away.
Beckett went back inside and flopped back on the couch. After yanking off his glasses, he rubbed his face and pondered his decision to move here. Did he make a mistake by coming here? Could he live in the same town as Mallory and not be a lovesick fool? He didn’t think so, but he also knew he couldn’t stay away forever.
Gramps’s words rang through as he drifted off to sleep on the couch, surrounded by dozens of boxes and forgotten beer bottles. Life is only sweet if you share it with your person . There wasn’t a doubt in Beckett’s mind; Mallory was most definitely his person. Now he needed to figure out what to do about it.