8. Catalina
Catalina
W e’re tangled in bed, with my head on Carter’s chest, his arm heavy and warm around me. His steady heartbeat under my ear, a slow rhythm that always calms me, no matter what chaos we’ve been through.
The night is dim, with only the glow from the lamp in the corner, and shadows stretching across the walls. His fingers are tracing idle circles along my back, but every stroke makes me melt deeper into him.
I shift against him just enough to really look at him. His eyes are closed, lashes fanned over his cheekbones like he’s pretending to be asleep.
His face is unfairly beautiful. His sharp jaw, stubborn and sculpted, the kind that makes people turn twice when he enters a room. His beard is thick beneath my fingertips—his hair, dark and messy from my hands tugging through it earlier.
But tonight, something new catches my eye, a few strands of silver glimmer through the dark in his beard. There’s more at his temple, hidden until now, and I swear my heart tightens.
Most people would panic at gray hair. Not me. Not when it’s him. It makes him look... I don’t know. Wilder. More settled. Like time is leaving love notes on his skin.
I brush my thumb against his beard. “Carter?” I whisper.
“Mhm?”
“Do you ever think about…” My throat tightens, but I push it out anyway. “About having kids with me?”
His chest rumbles under me as he exhales, a sound somewhere between a sigh and a laugh. “Darlin’, I think about it all the time.”
I tilt my head up, searching his face. He’s not smiling, not teasing. His blue eyes are soft in the low light, steady on mine.
“You do?” My voice cracks, betraying just how much the answer matters.
He nods, brushing a strand of hair off my cheek. “Baby, you’d be the best mama.”
A laugh bubbles out of me, but my chest aches. “You really think so?”
“I know so,” he says, as his thumb strokes my jaw. “I picture it sometimes—little bow in her hair, or some boy runnin’ around the ranch tryin’ to keep up with you. Drives me half crazy, how much I want that with you.”
My eyes sting, tears threatening to escape, and I press my face back into his chest before he can see. He chuckles, kissing the top of my head.
I lie there for a long beat, listening to his heart under my ear, my throat thick. His words keep circling in my head.
Little bow in her hair… some boy running around the ranch.
It spills out before I can stop it. “I want that too.”
Carter’s hand stills on my back. “Yeah?” His voice is low, cautious, like he’s afraid to push me.
I tilt my face up to him, eyes burning, but I don’t look away.
“Yeah. I want a baby with you, Carter. I want all of it—the ranch, the bookstore, the chaos, and a family that’s ours.
” My lip trembles, but I press on. “I want to see you holding our baby. I want them to grow up knowing what it feels like to be loved the way you love me.”
He stares at me, like I’ve knocked the air out of him. His throat works, his jaw tight, his blue eyes shining in a way that makes my chest ache.
“Darlin’…” He cups my face in his big hand as his thumb brushes under my eye. “You don’t know what that does to me, hearin’ you say that. Been dreamin’ about it, prayin’ for it, hopin’ you’d want it too.”
I swallow hard, my voice almost a whisper. “I do. I want it with you. Only you.”
His mouth crashes onto mine, the kiss stealing my breath and giving it back all at once. His other hand slides down, gripping my hip, pulling me tight against him like he can’t stand the space between us.
“You say the word, Catalina,” he rasps against my lips, his forehead pressed to mine. “And I’ll give you a baby. Tonight. Tomorrow. As soon as God’ll let us.”
My whole body shivers, heat rushing through me, tears spilling over as I kiss him again. “Then don’t stop trying,” I whisper.
The look in his eyes tells me he has no intention of ever stopping.
His lips move against mine as his hand cradles my face. There’s no rush in the way he kisses me now, just depth, reverence, and devotion.
He rolls me gently onto my back. I spread for him instantly, needy, my whole body already humming with the weight of what I just said.
I want a baby with you.
“Darlin’,” he rasps, hovering above me, the lamplight catching in his blue eyes. “You sure?”
I grab his jaw, dragging him down into another kiss, whispering against his lips. “Yes, I want everything with you.”
He groans before sliding his hand down my body, tugging my nightshirt up until I’m bare beneath him. His gaze trails over me, and he shakes his head like he can’t believe I’m real.
“You’re so fuckin’ beautiful,” he whispers, pressing a kiss to my collarbone, then lower, over my breasts. He sucks my nipple into his mouth, teasing it with his tongue until I arch off the bed, a gasp tearing from my throat.
“Carter—”
“Shh, baby,” he soothes, trailing his kisses down my stomach, nipping gently along the way. “I’ll take care of you.”
His mouth hovers over my pussy, and I nearly sob. His tongue parts me, slow, steady licks that make my whole body quake. It’s not the frantic edging from before—this is different. Tender. Patient. He’s savoring me, pulling me apart with devotion as much as desire.
“Sweetest taste in the world,” he moans against me, slipping a finger inside, curling it just right until my thighs tremble. “Gonna get you ready for me. Gonna fill you up the way you want.”
I moan, clutching at his hair, as my hips rock against his mouth, the pleasure building and building. He finally pulls away, my slick shining on his lips.
He’s above me again, bracing himself on his forearms, his cock sliding heavy and hot along my folds.
My breath stutters as my eyes find his.
“You ready, darlin’?” His voice is rough, almost breaking. “Ready for me to give you what we both want?”
“Yes,” I whisper, wrapping my arms around his neck, pulling him down. “Please, Carter. Inside me. Now.”
Carter’s forehead presses against mine, his breath ragged as he sinks deeper, inch by inch, until there’s no space left between us.
“God, darlin’,” he whispers, his voice wrecked, “you fit me so perfectly. Like you were made for me.”
I gasp, clutching his shoulders, my nails biting into his skin as the fullness settles, my body melting into the way he holds me.
He doesn’t move at first, kissing me, his lips brushing mine, lingering, as though he has all the time in the world. His thumb strokes over my cheek, his other hand laced with mine above my head.
“I love you,” I breathe into his mouth.
He groans, kissing me harder, the sound vibrating through me. “I love you, Catalina. More than my next breath.”
He finally begins to move, his hips rolling in a rhythm that makes me moan into his mouth. Each thrust is deep, dragging pleasure through me like a tide I can’t fight.
His lips never leave me, kissing my mouth, my jaw, my throat.“You’re everything, baby,” he says between kisses. “Every dream I didn’t know I had.”
Tears sting my eyes, the kind that come from being too full of love, of him, of everything. I arch against him, wrapping my legs around his waist, pulling him deeper. “Don’t stop. Please don’t stop.”
“Never,” he rasps, kissing the wetness from my cheeks. “I’ll never stop.”
His fingers lace tighter with mine, anchoring me, grounding me, as the world narrows to his eyes and the heat of his body inside mine.
“Come for me, baby,” he whispers against my lips, voice trembling with tenderness. “Let go for me.”
My orgasm pulses through me, pulling me under as I sob his name, clinging to him like I’ll never let go.
He follows right after, burying himself deep with a groan that shakes through me, his release warm and overwhelming as he kisses me through it, whispering how much he loves me over and over until the words blur with the sound of our breathing.
We collapse together, tangled and trembling, his body heavy and safe against mine, and his lips still brushing mine like he can’t stop.
In that moment, every part of me knows.
I want forever like this. With him, always with him.
It’s quiet, but our breathing, tangled together in the sheets. Carter doesn’t roll off immediately—he stays inside me, pressed close. His lips brush over my hairline until my pulse finally slows.
He finally pulls back, and I whimper at the loss. He hushes me immediately, his voice low, gravel softened with affection.
“Shh, baby. I’ve got you.”
He disappears for a moment, the mattress dipping as he gets up. I hear the faint sounds of the faucet in the bathroom, drawers opening, and the shuffle of him moving around.
He’s back, warm washcloth in hand, as he kneels by the bed.
“Let me take care of you,” he says, brushing damp hair from my forehead before gently cleaning between my thighs.
I bite my lip, watching him, my chest aching with something bigger than words. “You don’t have to?—”
“I do,” he cuts me off, meeting my gaze with that quiet intensity. “You’re my wife, Catalina. I’ll always take care of you.”
Tears prick my eyes again, but I swallow them down, because if I start crying, I’ll never stop.
When he’s finished, he tosses the cloth aside, then slides back into bed, tugging me against him until my head finds its place on his chest again. His arm comes around me, holding me close, his fingers tracing lazy patterns on my shoulder.
“Feel okay?” he asks softly, pressing a kiss into my hair.
“Better than okay,” I whisper, snuggling closer, breathing him in. “I feel… loved.”
His chest rumbles with a quiet laugh, but when he speaks, his voice cracks just a little. “Good, ’cause I don’t know how to do anything else when it comes to you.”
I press my lips against his chest, right over his heart, and close my eyes. Wrapped up in him, safe in the circle of his arms, I know I’ll never want to be anywhere else.