23. Chapter 23
Graham hated New Orleans.
The bizarre juxtaposition of ghostly relics in various stages of decay looming over people of all ages and sizes with their flashing necklaces and colored beads as if it was Mardi Gras in the middle of June was like being trapped in some confused Impressionist painting.
The rest of Louisiana, or what he’d seen of it, was equally unsettling. Spanish moss like cobwebs, swampy ground, swampy air, swampy ass.
Helen still hadn’t texted. She should’ve said something by now, unless it really was over.
It was over two years ago.
He needed more greasy food and a shot of bourbon to put the cap on his hangover.
From the bed in their hotel room (another relic—an expensive one—with a wrought iron balcony overlooking Bourbon Street), Graham waited through the steps of Lindsey’s dressing routine.
She practically dared him to leave without her.
Nail in the coffin, the look on her face had said.
The hair dryer turned off, and Graham peeled himself off the bed to stand in the bathroom doorway. Lindsey’s long brown hair tumbled down her back in loose curls, the ends reaching for the black lace panties she undoubtedly wore to punish him.
Her body tensed under his touch. Graham wound his arms around her waist, careful not to press his erection into her lower back, and kissed her shoulder.
It would’ve been so much easier to be in love with someone else if Lindsey didn’t draw him in.
“Are you still mad at me?” he asked. The herbal oil she used after a shower left a sheen on his lips.
She continued brushing makeup on her cheeks. “No idea why I would be.”
“Come on, Linds.” He buried his face in her neck. “What can I do? I’m sorry.”
“For what?”
“Everything.” He sighed. “Fucking everything. This trip isn’t supposed to pull us apart.”
She set the makeup brush down and stared at his reflection in the mirror. “This trip isn’t pulling us apart, Graham. You’re doing it on your own.”
“You mean that?”
“You won’t talk to me. You left me alone last night, like, like—”
“I was mad, and I’m sorry.”
Lindsey turned in his arms and touched the side of his face. “I know this is a hard time for you, but something really special happened—“
He broke away, shaking his head. “I’m not doing this.”
“Doing what?”
“I’m not sitting here talking about how special it was running out of gas in the middle of Kentucky.”
“It wasn’t a coincidence.”
“Then what was it? Huh? Act of God? A ghost? What was it, Lindsey?”
She crossed her arms, which pushed her breasts up in the bra that matched her panties. “Can you look me in the eye and tell me there isn’t even the smallest part of you that thinks there was anything remarkable about meeting Farmer Pederson?”
“I don’t think there was anything remarkable about meeting Farmer Pederson,” Graham said evenly, with effort not to look at her chest.
“Wow. That’s really sad, Graham.”
She looked back at the mirror to continue her dressing routine. Graham knew once she finished with her lips she’d put on clothes, and he couldn’t let that happen.
“Why is it such a big deal to you?”
“Because.” She applied dark pink gloss with a finger. “I’d hate for you to deny something amazing just because it’s hard to believe or a little scary.”
He hated that at the mention of denying something amazing out of fear he thought of Helen.
“I am excited about something.”
His hands found her waist again, lower this time, and she half-heartedly brushed him away with a groan.
“I mean it. I know I’m not good at showing it, but I couldn’t have gotten through these past few months without you.
” He spun her until her lips were inches from his face.
“Can we focus on this for the next few weeks, and not on…” he motioned to the space around them “…all the other stuff. Please. Just this.”
Just this. She wasn’t the only one who needed to rein in pointless fantasies.
Lindsey nodded, and Graham kissed her, ignoring the vise tightening around his heart. When he finally got his hands under those panties and slid them down her legs, he wasn’t thinking about Helen or the pain his chest anymore. And he wouldn’t until it was over.
Sex with Lindsey was the one thing in their relationship he didn’t have to fake.