101. Chapter 101
Beyond the carnival lights, Lindsey stood at the railing on the pier and drew in a deep breath of salty air. They were running out of time.
She could still taste him on her tongue from their make out session on the top of the Ferris wheel, one hand scandalously high on her leg, the other curled in her hair, his mouth knowing exactly what to do.
She was surprised he’d kissed her by the corn dog stand.
Graham almost never kissed her in public.
On the beach in Monterey she thought she saw something in Jase’s face she hadn’t seen before. It was probably just the sun in his eyes, but she couldn’t shake the look. More than wanting—was it longing? What would Jase long for? If he was any other man, she’d know.
If he was any other man, I wouldn’t want him this much.
“Let me take you back to the hotel so I can undress you with my teeth.”
His hands slid around her waist and she let her head fall into the curve of his neck, into the space it fit as if they were carved from the same stone.
“Did you come up with that in the bathroom?” She tried sounding as if he hadn’t rearranged her insides with a few words and his breath on her ear.
How is this the end? It doesn’t feel like enough.
“No, I’ve been thinking about it since the red number you wore in New Orleans.”
She turned in his arms. “You have not.”
“Afraid so.”
“Then why didn’t you use your teeth last night?”
“Last night I just needed you naked. Tonight I’m going to take my time.”
His promise sent a shudder through her core she didn’t even try to pretend was anything other than this man who smiled with approval.
He nudged her with his nose and their lips met.
It was too easy to kiss him, and kissing him meant careening toward that cliff she knew she was heading towards.
Jase took a clump of her dress in his fist, a possessive move Lindsey had come to appreciate—especially now when he used it to pull her tight against his erection.
“Then what are we still doing here?” Lindsey asked.
It was all the permission he needed to take her hand and haul her away from the pier.
You know? I have a son you should meet.
Jason’s words from Christmas stirred a different kind of need in her core. She stopped in the buzzing walkway.
“Wait.”
“What is it?” Jase asked. “I thought you wanted to go back to the hotel.”
“I do, but—”
If she told him what his dad had said, he wouldn’t understand. What’s worse, he might think she was trying to trick him into something more than a casual fling if she brought it up now.
“But what?”
Her head spun around as if she could pluck the perfect words from the pieces of stray trash littering the walkway.
“This feels wrong.”
Not the perfect words. He was so visibly stunned she wished she could take them back.
“What about this feels wrong?”
“That it’s over tomorrow.”
He dropped her hand. She was ruining it. They’d somehow recovered after Chloe and her gaudy shade of red only to fall apart steps from Jase taking his time with his teeth.
“I know it doesn’t make any sense,” Lindsey said. “I tried to leave—”
“Yesterday,” he finished. “You tried to leave yesterday.”
“Every day. But I had the best time today with you. And I just…I don’t want it to end.”
“Well, I mean”—he cleared his throat—“you never know what’s going to happen tomorrow. With the maps, there could be something else.”
He didn’t believe it. Neither did she. He was stalling for time.
He doesn’t want me after tomorrow.
“I don’t want to complicate things,” Lindsey said. Except she did. She really, really did. She wanted whatever mess was left behind once the maps ran out.
Jase sighed. “Thought you were talking about the trip.”
“Jase.”
“Let’s not pretend things were ever simple between us.”
“I want more time,” she said plainly, as simply as she could explain it. “We have a good thing. It might even be a great thing. Don’t tell me you don’t see it.”
She took a step toward him.
“Isn’t it worth something?”
“It is.”
“I don’t have any illusions about who we are and what this is,” she conceded. “I know I’m still your brother’s ex-girlfriend, and you—you’re very you. Jase, I already lost your dad, and then I lost Graham. I’m not ready to say goodbye to you too.”
“Lindsey, I’m not going to sit here and tell you that I know what’s going to happen in a week, or a month, or even a few days,” he said, taking her hand again. “But I’m here, now. You have me. Christ, you have all of me. And beyond that I don’t have any plans.”
Her eyes darted around to the lights behind Jase, colors streaming together making her lose track of herself. She didn’t know what exactly she wanted or expected him to say, except that it wasn’t over tomorrow.
“What does that mean?” she asked.
“It means quit making things so goddamn hard for once.”
“Jase, I—”
He took her face in his hands and kissed her until she had nothing else to say.