Chapter 43 #3
“Well, technically, you lost a wager,” I say, grabbing him by his tie and pulling him toward me once more. “Nice tie, by the way.”
“I have it on good authority it also looks perfect wrapped around your wrists when I fuck this pretty pussy,” he whispers, sliding his hand to the apex of my thighs.
“Raf, if you don’t hurry up and give me that signature, we’re going to have a flood situation on our hands,” I say as I lay one of my hands on his thigh, finding the hard edges of the phone he stashed in there before.
I’m not going to beat around the bush. Secrets are destructive.
I know better than most how they ruin and destroy.
Guilt eats at me for not telling Raf that I saw Alessandro in New York, but that’s to protect him.
I refuse to let Alessandro take another person I love.
“Hey, Raf. I’m only going to ask this once.
So please don’t lie to me. Why do you have a burner phone? ”
He covers my hand with his, searching my face, and I can tell he’s debating whether to give me an answer that will satisfy or the truth.
“I’ve had an anonymous tip-off that someone has evidence to prove who ordered the hit on Marco.”
I inhale sharply. My gut feeling is I know exactly who’s pulling the strings. Is he the one who shot Marco? Has he already found a way to get to Raf. Chills run down my spine.
“And…”
“They’re demanding things in exchange for information.”
“What sort of things?”
“Things I’m not willing to give up,” he says cupping my face.
My heart thumps. If my hunch is right, Alessandro is blazing a path of destruction in a hope of getting to me. “Oh,” I whisper. “What are we going to do?”
“We are not going to do anything,” he says, tenderly stroking my cheek.
“You’re going to make sure Avery continues to go everywhere you do.
You also need to tell him the moment something doesn’t feel right.
He’s been pretty good at picking up signals, but it would be so much easier on the guy if you were honest with him,” he says pointedly.
Does he know Alessandro already got to me once?
“You also need to keep taking your self-defense classes with Evie. I need to know you can fight back if you ever have to.”
“And you?”
“First, I’m going to sign this”—he pauses to add his signature—“and then I am going to watch your fine ass walk out that door to go home and get ready for tonight. Then tomorrow night I’m going to speak with AJ. The last thing I want to do is bring this to Marco’s plate.”
“Let me help you.”
“No, Chiara. I shouldn’t have even told you, but I won’t lie to you. Not about this. Not when your honesty is required too. You see any shadows from your past again, you need to say something immediately. Understood?”
I nod. I should tell him now about how Alessandro cornered me, but I’m so scared of what it will push him to do.
“Raf, promise me you won’t compromise what you stand for in the pursuit of vindication.
” I don’t want him to jeopardize his life or future for me.
I need a plan to stop Alessandro…I just haven’t figured out what that is yet.
“The only promise I’ll make right now is that I won’t stop until I get to the truth.”
“That’s one of the most dangerous promises you can make, Raf.”
“Danger doesn’t scare me, but losing the people I care about most in the world does.”
He draws me in for a hug, and I know it’s meant to be reassuring.
Instead, all it triggers is that sense of fatalist panic I developed when I lost the two people I cared about most in the world.
That every touch, every hug, every “I love you” might be the last I ever hear.
I start to feel light-headed. My chest squeezes and my body trembles.
It’s not until his voice is at my ear that I notice my breathing is labored.
“Breathe, angel,” he says calmly, reassuringly. “I’m here. I’m not going anywhere. Come on, baby. Just slow it down. Take a deep breath. Count to ten with me. That’s it. Good girl. You’re safe with me.”
The episode passes almost as quickly as it hits, but the lingering dread still lurks.
“You’re going to go with Avery now, and he’s taking you straight to see your therapist,” he says softly but with authority.
“But I don’t have an appointment,” I say, lifting my eyes to him, certain I’ve ruined my makeup.
“You do now, sweetheart. I won’t let this steal your joy, especially not this weekend when you’ve done so much for Marco and Sophia’s engagement. And don’t even worry about tonight. We’ll—”
“We are going to that dinner, Raf. You deserve to be in that room, and I refuse to give your father a reason to fault you, even if what you’re suggesting is selfless and chivalrous. This probably won’t be the last time panic paralyzes me, but I refuse to let it own me,” I say, straightening.
Picking up the signed paperwork, I smooth my hair and give him a chaste kiss on the lips. “I’ll be waiting for you at home.”
Then I leave, wondering why it always feels like for every one good thing that happens, there are three bad things lingering in the wings.