Chapter 9 Kelsey
Kelsey
Kelsey stared out the window of the train, watching the snowy landscape streak by in a white blur. Resting her head against the window, it almost felt like her body was just too tired to hold her up anymore.
After talking with Sev, telling him that she couldn’t leave Newport for the date they’d been planning on for a year now, it broke her heart at how understanding he had been. Yes, she had good, solid reasons, but that didn’t mean she was happy about it.
Couldn’t one thing go right this year?
Add to it the email she’d received from the Dean’s office, wanting to “have a talk” with her about her note for why she had dropped her two classes.
She agreed to come in on the train for an afternoon meeting, figuring she would just explain herself, in person, and then have the bursar’s office resolve her account.
To her surprise, the Dean herself had relayed some particularly damning information provided by those two professors.
They both painted a torrid picture of her, saying she couldn’t keep up in class and never reached out for extra help.
Because she had opted to “do right” by her professors and approach them during office hours, she didn’t have proof of their verbal, callous responses.
Both had insisted that they had been nothing but supportive of her in her time of need, denying that they refused to modify their class or curriculum on her behalf.
Feeling the pressure, both turned their misbehavior back on Kelsey, stating that she wasn’t a good student, one even questioning if she had the “heart” of an art therapist.
Hearing that nearly killed her.
Blinking away the tears and letting them roll down over her face, she thought about her life over the past couple of years.
When she ended things with Chip, she recalled feeling so much lighter.
She’d spent her time with him contorting herself like an Olympic gymnast trying to be the woman of his dreams, while he sat back and did nothing for her.
A giver and a taker. That was the sum of their relationship.
She vowed she’d never forget who she was ever again.
But somehow, this whole situation with school felt very familiar on a microscopic level to that.
She had tried so hard to do well in her classes, but her wonderful undergraduate reputation of being reliable, smart, and interactive had taken a complete nosedive.
It was like she didn’t even know who she was anymore.
To add to it, she and Sev still had yet to put a label on… whatever it was they were. They’d spent more time texting and calling this year, and he’d touched her heart in more ways than one, sending her little notes and cards, even three red roses on Valentine’s Day.
She smiled at the memory and grappled for her small backpack next to her.
Pulling out her wallet and unzipping it, she peered into the bottom where three rather beat-up, folded yellow roses still sat.
She’d never taken them out since the night he’d painstakingly made them.
He’d been a friend to her when she needed it and became so much more to her over the past couple of years.
She wasn’t sure the precise moment she’d fallen in love with him, but it wasn’t hard at all to figure out why.
He was kind, loving, caring. He was a man with his own life and his own future to build, but he made room for her.
Confided in her. And in turn, no matter what life threw her way, he made her feel like she could soar.
She never wanted to let go of him.
Zipping her wallet closed and tucking it back in her bag, she pulled out the sketchbook Sev had given her last year.
As she touched down a pencil to the paper, she felt the comforting sensation of the graphite gliding along the rough, thick paper.
Drawing helped her to focus, and as she zoned out and let the art flow through her fingertips, she thought about what she wanted.
She wanted a life full of love.
Of course, that meant Sev.
If anything, that man was the epitome of understanding in rough circumstances.
She didn’t have to pretend a thing when she was around him.
She didn’t have to eat daintily or show up looking a certain way.
She’d had more conversations with him over the past year when she was looking positively ill after sitting inside all day waiting on her father’s treatments, and he’d never been anything other than supportive.
But they were stuck in this year-long limbo, and while she loved the contact they had, she suddenly didn’t feel like coasting along in safe waters any longer.
As if he was on the same wavelength, a text popped up, causing her phone to vibrate.
Hey sweetheart, thinking of you.
Smiling to herself, she ran her thumb over the message.
Are your ears burning?
No, why?
Because I’m thinking of you, too
How’d it go with the Dean?
Even though she hated the idea of rehashing the experience, she knew Sev would be on her side, no matter what.
Hard. But I think I got her to understand what really happened.
Where does that leave you?
Well, that was an excellent question. She had completed a semester of her program and had a reputation for being a trouble-maker.
Dunno. But it leaves my future wide open.
You know what Dad would say to that, right?
She grinned as those three little dots instantly started to dance, waiting for Sev to chant along the mantra she could have sworn her father had created. However, what popped up instead caused her to pause.
He’d say you’re beautiful, intelligent, and capable of anything.
She closed her eyes, pinching the bridge of her nose at his terms of endearment. She’d had the worst day, felt verbally beaten down and exhausted, and yet it was the sweet thoughts of him believing in her that were going to push her straight to the edge.
Sighing to herself, she knew that big changes were going to need to happen in her future. But if she played her cards right, she might just be able to have everything she’d ever wanted.
It wasn’t too late.
Donning a Santa hat and tilting it just so, Kelsey blew out a nervous breath as she looked at her reflection in the mirror.
She had on a sweet little off-the-shoulder Mrs. Claus dress that was red and sparkly.
The fluffy white trim at the neckline complemented the black sparkly belt at her waist and the flared skirt to her knees.
Not that Sev would see the full thing. Unless she got up and gave him a twirl?
She thought she might, but looking at herself now, she wondered if it was too over the top. Too much.
Wouldn’t be the first time she’d been accused of being too much.
Slamming her eyes shut to the negative voices, she took a fortifying sniff through her nose. No. This was Sev. If anyone would appreciate it, it would be him.
Stepping back into the center of the room, she took a look around the green walls and dark wood.
Her father’s study was a masculine space, and he worked from here often when he was remoting in.
He’d been off for several months now, but was going back to work in person in January.
They finally got his all-clear a few days ago, and while he wasn’t a big fan of people in general, at least he could walk among them again.
That was a sigh of relief.
Sitting down in the leather office chair, she swiped a few keys and brought up her video feed.
She and Sev were having their date together virtually tonight, and she wanted it to be special.
Too many times, they’d chatted with a quick prop of her phone while sitting in an overstuffed chair or on her bed.
She thought he might like the library this time.
Snapping out of her thoughts when she heard the telltale ring come through the computer’s speakers, she eagerly clicked on “Accept” and watched the video spring to life.
Her heart nearly sighed in relief as she took in the gorgeous man sitting opposite her on the big screen.
It was almost as if he were just a few inches away from her.
Almost.
“Hey,” he said, giving her a quizzical look. “What do we have here?”
She smiled, giving him a few glamour poses. “Whaddya think?” she asked, tilting her head to catch the sparkles in her red Santa hat.
“It’s perfect,” he said, laughing. It hadn’t been more than a few days since they last spoke, but still, it became apparent to her how very much she missed him.
“Where are you?” she asked, taking in the dark inside of his car. If she had to guess, he was parked in a parking lot or out on the street somewhere under a light.
“I’m in my car.” He grinned, holding his hands up in gesture.
“Why, though?” she wondered. It was his idea to make this a date-date, not just an ordinary video chat like every other time. He’d seen her in her sweats at the hospital, or in her room at night when she wore her oversized T-shirt to bed. This was supposed to be… special.
“It’s part of your Christmas gift. Sorry, I know the timing’s off,” he said. “How’s your dad doing today?”
“Good,” she said, casting a glance at the door in response. “Marta made his favorite tonight, beef stroganoff. I’m hoping they’re having a quiet dinner together right about now.”
“Oh yeah?” he said. “She’s been with you for a while now, hasn’t she?”
“She has.” Kelsey nodded, turning her attention back to the monitor. “Her husband passed away a couple of years ago, so they’ve gotten closer since. I’m not sure why they don’t take the plunge, but both of them say they’re just friends.”
“It’s not a crime to take things slow,” Sev noted.
“True,” she said, leaning on her arm with her chin in her hand. “It’s agony for the rest of us, though.”
“Agony?” Sev laughed. “How’s it agony for you?”
“I don’t know,” she said, chuckling along with him. “I guess you just see things differently on the outside than you do from within. From where I’m standing, they like one another and enjoy each other’s company. Why not take the leap?”
“Guess things must be different when you get to be their age.”
“Guess you’re right,” she said, her eyes catching a streetlight passing over Sev’s features. Then she realized his arms were moving. “Are you driving right now?”
“Just a little,” he said, his eyes everywhere but the screen as he watched the road. Seriously?
“If you need to call me back, you can,” she said, hating the idea that she’d prepped so much for this date, but he was off running errands.
Maybe he didn’t want to give her attention anymore? Was that what he was trying to say?
“It’s kinda the same thing that happened last year,” he said, again, looking through the windshield. “Remember how I was running behind and didn’t want to text you I was going to be late?”
“How could I forget?” she said. “You showed up in Santa’s sleigh.”
He grinned, pleased with her recollection. “Well, I may not be in Santa’s sleigh, but I’m here.”
She watched his arms settle, and then he opened the door, flooding the cab with light. Taking in his beautiful features, she realized for the first time he was in his winter gear, not his uniform.
“Where?”
Her question caused him to break out into a beautiful smile as he winked at her and stood up out of his car. Taking the phone with him, he held it up, still centered on his image, and slowly spun around. She could see he was in a driveway of sorts, surrounded by lovely… familiar homes.
Surprise etching her face, she slapped her hands to the desk as she launched herself up from the chair and out of the study.
Running as fast as her red heels would allow, she raced past Marta and her father, having a quiet dinner together on her way to the door.
Yanking it open without a thought to the time, temperature, or anything other than Sev, she shrieked in delight as she saw him standing in her driveway, still with his phone in the air.
Running down the steps, Sev quickly attempted to pocket his phone as he held his other arm wide for her. She plowed into him, wrapping him in her arms when she felt the world tilt and gravity take over.
“Whoa!” Sev said as they crashed to the driveway, twisting so that Kelsey was on top and using him like a pillow to soften her blow.
“Oof!” she responded, looking up and flipping the ball of the hat back into place. “Sev? Are you okay?”
“Ugh,” he groaned from beneath her, looking like he’d had the wind knocked straight out of him.
“What’s wrong?” she asked as she immediately began patting him down, trying to find out what hurt. “Did you hit your head?”
He exhaled on a chuckle, followed quickly by another groan. “I think you broke my kidneys.”
She looked at the poor man, her heart swelling for him and his ability to crack a joke even when he was probably in a degree of pain. “At least it’s not your heart.”
“No, sweetheart,” he said, stroking his hand down the side of her head. “My heart is pretty full right now.”
Kelsey broke into a massive grin as she cupped his face in her hands.
He leaned his head up toward her just as she tilted hers down, pressing her lips to his chilly ones as warmth flowed through her entire body.
When Sev slowed their pace down, Kelsey was grateful, as she wasn’t sure she would have the strength to do it herself.
She very much liked him.
She wanted a future with him.
But there certainly was no time like the present.
“Hello,” she whispered, inches from him.
“Hello,” he said back, grinning.
“I can’t believe you’re here.”
“Well, I didn’t have a reason in the world not to.” He gave her a squeeze with both arms around her now. “When your dad got the all clear, it gave me the all clear too.”
“I’m glad it did,” she remarked, trying to reconcile the handsome man on the screen with the real-life version in front of her.
“You know,” he began. “When I told you I was going to give you all the hugs that I couldn’t give you this year, I hadn’t expected to be flat out in the driveway when it happened.”
“Oh!” she said, her face flushing the color of her dress as she scrambled to get up, trying to find firm ground around the patches of ice that still remained. Offering her hand, she pulled him to his feet, watching him wince in the process.
“C’mon, let’s get you inside,” she said, wrapping an arm around his back and tucking in under his arm. “You’re going to want to ice whatever you hit.”
“No big deal. I probably just wrenched something on the way down,” he said. “Nothing a little stretching won’t fix.”
“Gosh, you sound just like my dad,” she said, rolling her eyes, helping him limp along as they made their way toward the house. “But don’t worry, we’ll get you fixed right up.”
“I know you will,” he said, leaning down and kissing the top of her sparkly-hatted head.