77. Lars
The pounding on the door feels like someone is trying to split my skull open. For a few seconds I lie perfectly still, hoping whoever it is will eventually give up and leave.
Then the pounding comes again.
“Lars.”
Violette’s voice cuts through the fog in my head. I groan and roll onto my back. The ceiling above me swims as the events of last night crash back into place all at once. Gabriel’s face. Enzo’s gun in his hand. The words that shattered something inside my chest.
The pounding resumes.
“Lars, if you don’t open this door, I will have Dante break it down.”
I drag a hand over my face and sit up slowly. My head throbs violently, the scotch still pulsing through my system like a punishment. Fuck, I don’t even remember getting back to the estate last night.
“Hold on,” I mutter.
I open the door before she can knock again. Violette stands in the hallway wearing a perfectly tailored charcoal dress and the expression of a prison warden.
“You look terrible,” she says.
“Good morning to you too.”
“You smell like a distillery.” She frowns.
“That’s because Enzo kidnapped me on my way into a drunken stupor.”
She steps into the room without asking permission, her gaze moving across the rumpled bed and the jacket I dropped on the floor when I got here.
“You’re hungover and dramatic,” she says calmly. “That’s a terrible combination.”
I sit on the side of the bed.
“Did Enzo send you in here to interrogate me?”
“Enzo is downstairs handling a situation involving a very unpleasant Kelly Kavanaugh.”
That pulls my attention.
“He caught her?”
“Yes.”
“How?”
Violette’s smile mocks me.
“If you hadn’t slept half the day away, you would know that Dom and his men secured her this morning. She’s in one of the cells.”
I rub my temples slowly.
“There’s so much going on right now.” I exhale.
She walks to the window and pulls the curtain open, letting the morning light spill across the room. The brightness makes my head pound harder.
“You’re not allowed to hide in here,” she says.
“I’m not hiding.”
“Yes, you are and don’t argue with me. You won’t win.”
I lean back against the headboard.
“How did I not see it, Vi? How did I let this happen? I should have seen a sign, I should’ve been smarter,” I whisper, fighting tears.
“The only reasonable explanation is that he was very good at his job. Maybe there weren’t any signs to warn you.”
I look down at my hands in my lap. “Vi, is it wrong that I think I still love him?”
She reaches out and takes one hand. “I don’t think so. You had very strong feelings for him and it can be hard to let that go. You’ll get there.”
“What if I don’t want to let it go?”
“Lars, he lied,” she says, concerned.
I look into her eyes. “I thought about it, Vi. He wanted to come clean. He wanted to give us everything he knew to take down Sera. What if he was telling the truth to save our relationship?”
“Oh, my love.” She cups my jaw. “I know this is hard, but you need to think this through.”
I take a deep breath, then shake off the emotion. “You’re right. I’ll work on it.”
She taps my cheek. “Now, you need to shower and go home. I’m kicking you out.”
“Did Neomi leave?”
“She did. She went back to the penthouse about an hour ago with three guards. And yes, I told her everything. She kept asking where Gabriel was and why no one was answering their phone. I couldn’t lie to her. I must tell you, she’s pissed at you for leaving last night.”
“Fuck.” I shove my hand through my hair in frustration. “I was an asshole for leaving. Damn it, I love her so much, Vi.”
“Then act like it and don’t be a fucking idiot. Get your shit together and go care for your wife, Lars. Respectfully.”
After a shower and a change of clothes, I went home.
When I walk into the penthouse, the tension under my skin returns. Neomi sits on the couch with a cup of coffee in her hands. She notices me the instant I walk into the room, her lips forming a thin line.
“Hey,” I say cautiously.
“Hey,” she echoes sarcastically.
I step further into the living room, dropping to my knees in front of her.
“I’m so sorry,” I say.
“For what?”
“For disappearing last night.”
She sets the mug down on the table before her eyes settle on me.
“No one told me what happened. I just woke up alone and when I went looking for you, the whole house was in an uproar. I had to hear it from Vi.”
I close my eyes, regret coursing through my veins. “I know, I’m so sorry, Neomi.”
“I know you were hurting, but fuck, Lars, that was not a healthy way to handle things, and you left me to deal with the aftermath on my own.”
“I know and I shouldn’t have done that. My pain isn’t an excuse for not being there for you.”
“No, it’s not,” she agrees gently. “But it’s understandable. You have to remember that we’re a team, you can’t run when things get rough and we work through things together.”
I nod, tears stinging my eyes. “You’re right.”
I rise to sit beside her on the couch. For a moment, neither of us speaks, then she reaches for my hand.
“I love you,” she says quietly.
I cover her hand with mine. “I love you, too.”
“I need you to promise that the next time the world crumbles that you will come to me for strength and not a club or a bottle to drown it.”
I look into her eyes. “I promise, Neomi.”
Her fingers tighten around mine.
“I thought we were building something with him.” I say, my voice threaded with sadness.
“I know, I did too.” she says as she stares at our joined hands.
The grief in her voice mirrors my own.
She exhales quietly. “I don’t know what the future looks like. But I know what we have.” Her hand squeezes mine again. “And I’m not letting this destroy it.”
I take her in my arms, holding her tight. “I won’t ever leave like that again, I promise, Bella.”
She pulls back, her fingers brushing my hair away from my face. “I’m going to hold you to that, Lars. Because if you do, I’m going to hang you from your toes.”
When she smiles, a chuckle escapes me.
“You’re starting to sound like a real mob wife.”
She nods. “You’re lucky I love the way you fuck me, or I would hang you by your balls, husband.”
“Noted, Bella.”
Neither of us says Gabriel’s name again.